Comments on: Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and Men: How Men Express the Symptoms

By: Mark

Mark — Tue, 27 Sep 2022 00:04:41 +0000

In reply to Matt. Matt - spot on. I’m 54 same place, plus 4 years. Have the mental suicide conversation all the time. Is there a way that won’t look like it was intentional.

By: Shirley Davis

Shirley Davis — Sat, 30 Jul 2022 15:09:16 +0000

In reply to Matt. I am not a mental health professional so I can't really give you advice. Perhaps some others will comment with something helpful to say. I can say that I found a counselor (a psychologist) who specialized in treating children with mental health challenges due to abuse and neglect who helped me enormously. Perhaps a trauma-informed therapist can help you? I'm sorry I don't have more. Shirley

By: Matt

Matt — Sat, 30 Jul 2022 15:02:02 +0000

I read the article. And think it’s nice that someone hears me.
But I have lived with this since infancy.
My mom tried killing me several times starting at the age of 1.
My sister “who constantly told me how much she hated me” stepped in at the age of 4 and took me after I had gone limp and hid. She thought I was dead.
But I remember everything.
I was raped at a young age by a teenager that threatened me with a knife. My mother promptly told me to shut it up and say nothing. Because she had been publicly raped by an uncle that was drunk. And she was called a whore by her family from preteen to adulthood.
So that contributed to her mental illness.
She successfully watched me die from a major head trauma that I bled out from in the ER.
I experienced being in the room and seeing my body and the staff struggle to save me.
They did it.
But I cannot forget that I felt no comfort or angels on that side.
I believe in spirit but no god’s or benevolent beings.
I have abandoned faith because it’s just not real to me that has any proof of existence in my experience.
I even studied the Bible and went into ministry for many years and finally left at around 37 because I just could not find it being real.
Many crazy near fatal situations in my years.
A wife who rejected me sexually most of our marriage of 27 years, just destroyed my sense of manhood. I hid that well with my art.
Struggling to keep work, or even having wages stolen or paid less than agreed.
Dealing with being told I did it to myself in some unseen way. I hate religion for it.
I have had Counciling at the tune of $8000 of debt in 6 months with insurance!
They were like high school counselor’s at best.
I stopped number than I have ever been to this day.
The state of Minnesota has no idea what they are doing treating CPTSD.
Let alone a man.
My wife and I got marriage counseling after her 4 year affair with a friend after being fridgid for years without any explanation.
They immediately wanted to separate us with different councilors because I might be dangerous!
Never touched her or harmed her in our entire marriage.
I have been having suicidal fantasies for so many years of my life, they are like an everyday occurrence I quit mentioning.
You are right.
I am in a dangerous place.
I had an episode yesterday that had me feeling impaired enough that I felt drunk. Like a wall of water was drowning me and all I could do was let it run it’s course.
I thought I could die in my sleep with my heart weighing down.
So I went to bed.
My mother in law moved in with a serious alcohol addiction. And she has been screaming in her sleep like bloody murder. Wife is gone for the weekend.
And I think hearing that and all triggered it.
The worst one I have had since twin heart attacks last year with clean blood work accept diabetes from a medication 10 years ago to treat tremors. Add that to trust issues. Lol
We are divorcing after 27 years because of my issues and her needs.
I can’t get therapist to return a call, and quite frankly I have quit trying since all I am is a billable entity to profit off of.
I am afraid that my darkness is going to kill me. That seems like mercy if it does.
Suicide is not an option since life insurance won’t pay out for that.
At 50 I am tired of feeling like this my whole life.
I hope I wake up okay one day. And just know what to do with my life.
But that’s not likely is it.
What do you suggest?

By: AAAA

AAAA — Tue, 15 Mar 2022 20:52:57 +0000

In reply to PM.

You nailed it 100%. A notable amount of the emotional distress I feel is caused by past events directly or indirectly caused by women in my life or around me. That’s not to say that women are all bad, but this certainly isn’t just a “toxic masculinity” issue.

If you really want to help men you should honestly drop the whole “toxic masculinity” narrative bc it’s actually used as a way to shame men (I’ve experienced this). Now men can be toxic too but the concept of “toxic masculinity” is made by people purposely trying to blur the lines between what’s toxic and what’s masculine to push whatever agenda they have while never addressing the fact that feminine behaviors can be toxic as well.

Being able to express emotions is very important for men but then say that, using the term “toxic masculinity” is uncalled for and well, toxic.

By: PM

PM — Thu, 01 Apr 2021 15:59:28 +0000

Not a bad article but I’m not sure the comments on how society defines masculinity are helpful or strictly accurate. The Palgrave Handbook of Male Psychology and Mental talks a lot about masculinity and the term “toxic masculinity”. It highlights how “toxic masculinity” is jot backed up by any sound science, and that toxic behaviours are more about the person, not their masculinity. It also highlights how masculinity is natural and beneficial. I am also unclear as to what “the lie” is that men are kept living?

By: mark Rock

mark Rock — Tue, 09 Feb 2021 19:29:50 +0000

Only one thing i think this article misses. You say “living out their lives afraid to feel” its not that trauma survivors are afraid to feel, or even the cultural barriers that limit a male opportunities, that are the biggest barrier.
The single biggest barrier to almost anyone, women and men included, is that those of us that have been through this at an early age lack the skills to even begin to manage the emotions that our trauma places before us.
CPTSD is that, that very fact that the brain grew differently. The emotional processing centers of the brain wired to protect the individual from overwhelming trauma.

I do not mean to come of critical of the issues presented here. But these cultural issues are only the tip of the iceberg that is CPTSD.