Comments on: The Commonality of and Coping with Family Estrangement https://cptsdfoundation.org/2019/12/23/the-commonality-of-and-coping-with-family-estrangement/ The Foundation for Post-Traumatic Healing and Complex Trauma Research Thu, 07 Aug 2025 10:19:34 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 By: SV https://cptsdfoundation.org/2019/12/23/the-commonality-of-and-coping-with-family-estrangement/#comment-39732 Thu, 07 Aug 2025 10:19:34 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=229691#comment-39732 In reply to Gillian.

Please don’t deny yourself and your grandchildren the chance of developing a relationship irrespective of the problem with your adult child. I am in a similar situation and luckily continue to see my little one at my ex daughter-in-law‘s house. She understands only too well how difficult he can be and we all agree that whatever he needs to work through, the little ones are the innocent parties and shouldn’t be made to suffer the loss of grandparents in their lives. Sending love.

]]> By: Shirley Davis https://cptsdfoundation.org/2019/12/23/the-commonality-of-and-coping-with-family-estrangement/#comment-5281 Sat, 05 Jun 2021 14:52:43 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=229691#comment-5281 In reply to Cheryl Ruben.

I am so sorry. I know in Jewish culture family is everything. I wish I could reach out and give you a hug. Please, don’t “pull a Robin Williams” his death was a tragedy and so would be yours. Can you join one of our groups? You’ll find support and caring. If you can’t afford it there are scholarships available. https://cptsdfoundation.org/scholarship-application/

If you don’t feel like joining one of our groups I hope you will begin to form a family of choice with someone or many someone’s. Families of origin can be so brutal.

Please, feel free to reach back out and if you feel you are going to self-harm call 800-273-8255 that’s the number for the National suicide prevention hotline.

Wishing you peace, my friend. Shirley

]]> By: Cheryl Ruben https://cptsdfoundation.org/2019/12/23/the-commonality-of-and-coping-with-family-estrangement/#comment-5271 Sat, 05 Jun 2021 07:11:27 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=229691#comment-5271 I am the middle sister between two brothers (63, 59, 55); we all don’t speak. I’m pretty sure my younger brother’s wife threatened him with enough to cut ties with me. I have no idea why my older brother hates me. Our mother died just before covid began (November 2019); I was almost stranded at the cemetery and sat Shiva alone. Because my younger brother has business dealings with our only cousins, I am not longer invited to holiday dinners.
“All around the world Jewish families are celebrating by the millions,
And I’m all alone, staring at my new dress hanging,
And trying to not pull a Robin Williams.”
By Cheriah the Pariah
The pandemic didn’t change my life much;

]]> By: Shirley Davis https://cptsdfoundation.org/2019/12/23/the-commonality-of-and-coping-with-family-estrangement/#comment-4774 Thu, 13 May 2021 17:10:33 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=229691#comment-4774 In reply to Cecilia.

I am so sorry you went through all that. You certainly did not and do not deserve to be treated so horribly. If I came across as saying you owe your mother an apology, I did not mean to. There are some instances where forgiveness is not practical nor is it warranted. I’m also very sorry that people have given you guilt trips over not having contact with her. I hope you are able to find peace within yourself and with others who will truly appreciate what a wonderful and beautiful person you are. Shirley

]]> By: Cecilia https://cptsdfoundation.org/2019/12/23/the-commonality-of-and-coping-with-family-estrangement/#comment-4773 Thu, 13 May 2021 15:26:43 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=229691#comment-4773 It’s not always “differences and disagreements” that can be worked through. My mother literally tried to kill me and lost custody of me because of it; she absolutely hated having a fat bisexual daughter. Yet I still get guilt-tripped for cutting off contact with her after decades of one-sided efforts to heal our relationship. I get what you’re saying, but no one owes their parents forgiveness, especially when what they’ve done is beyond forgiveness.

]]> By: Cecilia https://cptsdfoundation.org/2019/12/23/the-commonality-of-and-coping-with-family-estrangement/#comment-4772 Thu, 13 May 2021 15:26:26 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=229691#comment-4772 In reply to Michele.

It’s not always “differences and disagreements” that can be worked through. My mother literally tried to kill me and lost custody of me because of it; she absolutely hated having a fat bisexual daughter. Yet I still get guilt-tripped for cutting off contact with her after decades of one-sided efforts to heal our relationship. I get what you’re saying, but no one owes their parents forgiveness, especially when what they’ve done is beyond forgiveness.

]]> By: Steve K https://cptsdfoundation.org/2019/12/23/the-commonality-of-and-coping-with-family-estrangement/#comment-2595 Wed, 18 Nov 2020 16:04:22 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=229691#comment-2595 In reply to Steve K.

Sorry, Jillian. Not Cathy.

]]> By: Steve K https://cptsdfoundation.org/2019/12/23/the-commonality-of-and-coping-with-family-estrangement/#comment-2594 Wed, 18 Nov 2020 15:45:25 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=229691#comment-2594 In reply to Gillian.

Cathy, if you have an opportunity to develop/maintain a relationship with your grandchildren, TAKE IT! You may or may not ever reconcile with your daughter, but that’s no reason to deny those kids a loving grandparent.

]]> By: Wendy West https://cptsdfoundation.org/2019/12/23/the-commonality-of-and-coping-with-family-estrangement/#comment-2298 Fri, 23 Oct 2020 02:57:33 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=229691#comment-2298 In reply to Patrice Del Toro.

That is perfectly said and so very true. Thank you for your insight Patrice

]]> By: Shirley Davis https://cptsdfoundation.org/2019/12/23/the-commonality-of-and-coping-with-family-estrangement/#comment-2156 Fri, 02 Oct 2020 13:22:19 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=229691#comment-2156 In reply to Jackie Clancy.

I am so sorry for your pain. Hopefully your daughter will see the light and return to you. Shirley

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