Comments on: Insomnia as a Trauma Response

By: Kerry

Kerry — Fri, 06 Sep 2024 08:40:52 +0000

Oh my God girl .. this is ME for past 12 years .. the COLD which does trigger me. My DREAD of the winter .. I stay in Scotland where it’s never very warm. The sore shoulders and jaw. You just made EVERYTHING make sense .. thank you for that 💖

By: Sally Melissa

Sally Melissa — Fri, 17 May 2024 08:13:15 +0000

Omg this is me! It permeates every minute of every hour of every day in some way. It got so bad for me one year that I couldn’t even go inside the house without fearing the evening and getting into bed. The bedroom was terrifying so I had to sleep on the sofa. And after a series of nights with no sleep, the panic attacks would set in in the early hours of the morning. It was just the most horrific thing and nobody understands who hasn’t been through it. I never found the answer, but there was a point one year where I realised that if I could accept not sleeping and completely stop trying (and I mean fully, bodily except not sleeping) then I would feel better. Half of the battle is the worrying, the fear that you’re not safe, especially with yourself. The lack of trust in your mind to be safe from those nighttime monsters that are part of every child nightmare. The part of you that grieves the safety and security the other people have and you don’t. The part of you that is paralysed by the torture of your own inner turmoil and just wants to turn the whole damn thing off! And yet your mind just keeps speeding up, going faster and faster, going over and over the same thoughts, the same feelings, the same wretched emotions that just! Won’t! Stop! And yet when you find that acceptance, it is pure bliss. It’s hard for me to replicate and I’m still working on it, I think it’s going to be a life’s work, but it did happen and I’m clinging to that. It happened once so it can happen again. I hope it happens for you.

By: Bill

Bill — Tue, 22 Nov 2022 21:45:24 +0000

In reply to Micah Lyn.

I have chronic insomnia. Sometimes I will go 3 days with little or no sleep. I cannot begin to tell you how disruptive this is to my life. I have little memory before 8 years of age. I become uncomfortable thinking about even considering remembering a childhood event.
My brother told me, some time ago, that he was never bullied in High School because I was believed the toughest kid in school. More like, most distant, and least willing to speak with you. The tough guy however was terrified of being in bed at home in the dark. It made me so angry, but it was an unspeakable fear, I had no tools to fight with, well… no good tools. My mom told me at one point, that our family broke up because she felt my father was going to kill me. I didn’t even wonder why, or ask. I think as a kid, I would hold on to the previous day as long as I could, because when the sun rose, I could go to sleep. I wish I could now.

By: Kayla

Kayla — Mon, 20 Jun 2022 19:50:53 +0000

I am experiencing severe insomnia during and now as just finishing divorce from 28 year emotionally abusive marriage and have childhood history of same. The insomnia got worse after a surgery and felt betrayed by my psychiatrist who Said I should not have anti anxiety, even though She prescribed them PRN for past year and I was responsible with no I’ll effects. I am not allowed to take trazadone because of risk of very rare seratonin syndrome reaction. She gave me gabapentin and a prescribed antihistamine , neither help me sleep. I’ve never had this severe of insomnia and barely get a couple hours sleep. I turned to my long term internist and he dies not want to override psychiatrist’s authority despite a truly flawed rationale. I am doing all the things you listed too! Weighted blanket, yoga, hot baths, journaling, trying to exercise although hard with little sleep. I feel like my sleeplessness is a risk to my health and mental health, impacting my ability to even focus and memory! I have appointment with new psychiatrist in a few weeks and plan to schedule with new internist. Providers who don’t listen to patients, have power and authority to make faulty assessments are a threat to the well being of unsuspecting patients who need help. I don’t think any psychotherapy or activity will free me from this hell that is going on over a month. I think an anti anxiety shirt term has potential for a body and brain reset. Chronic severe insomnia should be considered an emergency. In that vein, perhaps I’ll go to ER

By: Jo

Jo — Thu, 12 Nov 2020 02:35:50 +0000

In reply to Micah Lyn. I am not sleeping because I have a real life stalker :( Not sleeping is keeping me safe.

By: mary O'Sullivan

mary O'Sullivan — Wed, 11 Nov 2020 21:14:11 +0000

I found your comment about your little girl very interesting. I was wondering if you are speaking metaphorically or if you are a experiencing a real younger self in some way.
My adopted son has CPTSD, and he has a form of dissociative disorder which I have come to believe is more common than most professionals think. Unlike real DID, there is a main personality with a number of younger selves. While they can take over the body , or parts of it, for very short periods, the main person doesn’t lose time.
And they are very, very good at keeping him up at night.
If you are experiencing something like this , I would be very interested in talking to you about it.

Mary O’Sullivan

By: Becky

Becky — Fri, 24 Jul 2020 22:49:57 +0000

In reply to Micah Lyn. Sat reading this at early hours of the morning, yet another night of no sleep! I find it very difficult to sleep until the sun comes up and the rest of the house is awake. This has been going on years, improved for short periods of time but always reverts back. Thank you for sharing.

By: Micah Lyn

Micah Lyn — Fri, 24 Jul 2020 21:38:28 +0000

I started having insomnia most nights at age 11. I thought it was normal to not sleep well. I used to have to be careful about having my arms over the edge of the bed because some unnamed figment would get me.

This went on for decades. I thought either everyone went through insomnia or I was some kind of freak and shouldn’t talk about any of it.

Dogs helped a lot. I had a 120 lb Shepard Akita mix, a sweetheart of a dog named Teddy Bear, who loved me as much as I loved him. I still had sleeping problems, but if anything tried coming out from under the bed, well, Teddy was a very loyal dog and did it mention he loves me

As an adult, around age 55 or so, I learned about sleep hygiene. Basically, associate the bedroom with nothing but sleep and sex. Cool with me!
That helped a lot. Insomnia kicks in, read a boring book or watch a boring documentary that I had no interest in and, most importantly, do not blame yourself for not sleeping. Be mellow. You will sleep. Just be patient and let whatever thoughts are keeping you up simmer down. Or meditate, work through it with silence.

Or, weirdly enough, cool your body off. I lie naked in front of a fan until the coolness goes barely into discomfort. And that works.

So my journey to getting a good night sleep is a complete jumble. It might prove useless in giving you any relief. But that’s ok. Somewhere out there, or maybe within yourself, is the solution. Something will work.

Sleep in peace, Micah Lyn.

By: Diana

Diana — Fri, 24 Jul 2020 20:28:10 +0000

This is so me. Thank you for this great article.

By: El

El — Tue, 21 Jul 2020 17:16:58 +0000

Thank you! You are also not alone. I’m crying while typing this because thinking about my “little girl” inside me hurts so bad. My little girl is just so little too, just so hurt too, and just as protected by my external “normal” self.
I’m currently working on the “feeling safe” concept with my therapist using EMDR and desensitization. But the whole process always seems to leave me raw and the path forward takes weird trips and turns. No matter how much progress I make, it never seems like I’m moving forward. It’s a messed up trick the mind plays on us with C-PTSD.
Like the previous commenter, I also kinda stumbled into sleep from 20+ years of sleeping issues. (I slept-walked, had intermit insomnia & hypersomnia, and had a long battle with bed wetting)
Therapy, the right doctors, the right medication (especially Amitriptyline), and simply age is the only reason that at 42 years old I can sleep for 6 hours straight. I wish everyone who reads this knows, your not alone.