“Over this past year, I have learned that my triggers were primarily setting off a spiral of judgment that condemned me to failure, failure as a mother, failure as a professional, failure as a friend, failure as a daughter, failure as a human being. Slowly, I have been learning how to shift that into:

Wait, I feel something coming on
It’s okay, don’t run away
Oh, I hear a narrative coming on that is trying to tell me something
Aargh, I feel blame, shame, and guilt rising up from my gut to my brain
I’m shutting down!
Take a breath!
How am I feeling?
Can I safely express that with this person?
If yes, I’ll try to do it without attacking them.
If no, I’ll face these overwhelming feelings with curiosity.
And whatever happens is whatever happens.”