I’m a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. And for years I was unable to talk about it. And I developed a drug problem that not only was a bad coping mechanisms. But it also allowed my perpetrator to make themselves my victim. Due to the fact that when I got into trouble because of my addiction and ended up being sent to prison for stealing to be able to obtain the drugs that I had become addicted. And when I was released I went into a inpatient rehab facility. While I was there the person who had molested me became concerned about what I was talking about during my counseling and basically told on themselves. When I returned home I tried to talk about it beings they had told everyone that I was telling the treatment facility I was molested to make a excuse for using drugs and getting into trouble. I immediately realized that in order to prove the truth I was going to have to drag another female family member whom I had witnessed being assaulted also when we were little. And it was going to tear my little brother and sister apart and devaste them. And they were the absolute most important people in the world to me. And I could not hurt them. I refused to and I never tried to talk about it again. Even though I knew that behind closed doors I was spoken about and I was the drug addict that told a lie about being molested to blame someone else for my drug problem. And even though it forever changed my relationship with my little brother and sister also. I wouldn’t allow them to be hurt. I have lived with PTSD because of it. But I have been through years of cognitive therapy and light therapy and was on medication. I had obtained relief from my PTSD symptoms and was able to discontinue the meds. Unfortunately my abuser was married to a woman who worked at the courthouse and so did her daughter and I was unaware of how long and they had told those who they were working with how I was a terrible person and addict and I lied about being molested and even though I was sober for 24 years. They spoke as if I never got sober even though I raised two children who have never known me to use drugs ever. But because of this the police in the area new me by name and constantly was pulling me over and I have had to get my car out of the impound 5 times and the non stop tickets started to make me look like a habitual offender that eventually did result in being convicted of a ticket and they worked every stop up into a search for drugs and it went on for years. Recently I had given a couple of people who I know a lift to their vehicle which was broken down. I was aware that one of them had a drug problem. But I had never seen them use. They left a jacket in the back seat and it rode in my car for three months. When I was pulled over and they managed yet again to tow the car and they conducted a search and the jacket had a small bag of drugs in it. And after 24 years of sobriety plus I have never been caught with drugs in my possession ever even though I did have a issue at one time. I am being treated and made out as if I have never done anything else but use drugs. It’s like the 24 years and everything I have done and that whole life I spent raising the kids and everything just never happened. And I can’t stop feeling like I am just paying still for the person who was the one who created the whole problem to begin with and I have spent my life trying to clean up the mess. And I can’t it’s like it has tentacles and they have penetrated in to my life in so many different places I am unable to even begin to keep it from affecting my life. And even after their death I am still having consequences. I don’t understand and I don’t know sometimes if I can keep it from eventually causing me perminant damage and hardship. I never imagined the insidiousness of the type of abuse I have been through. And I don’t know how to make it stop.

Go to another adult, such as your teacher or a school counselor, and tell. That is about all you can do at your age. Shirley

Hi, I’m not yet an adult but was molested as a child. I think it has affected my growth into sexual experiences(mentally) and I know not what to do