Sorry, I meant to say I’ve lost friends to suicide in my last comment. I’m guessing you got the gist.

Thank you for your response. As mentioned, I too struggle with SI & was recently hospitalized as a result, & have also had friends the same way, so both from personal experience, observation & education, people aren’t ‘determined to die’, we’re ‘struggling to live’. THAT is the point where you & I diverge, as we can help to stop that.

The piece was written from first-person experience with suicide and suicidal ideation. I am the author and I have been suicidal, tried to die by suicide, and lost a loved one to suicide. What I said was not meant to be a platitude. It is true, no one can stop a person who is determined to die by suicide. I agree that some genuine care and empathy go a long way towards helping some who is suicidal, but one cannot force someone else to live. Getting out of their way by taking care of yourself is vital to helping someone who is suicidal so that they do not need to worry about you. Thank you for your thought-provoking comment. Shirley J davis

The author of this comment no doubt means well, but this statement is troublesome & sadly popular – yet highly inaccurate. Very few people who wrangle with suicide ideation are determined to die, quite the opposite. Truth is, Trauma has misdirected our attempts to cope with how excruciatingly painful our experience of living can often be, which means there is a great deal others can do to help.

The presence of genuine care, curiosity & empathy goes a long way, & if you’re sincerely able to listen without need to ‘fix’ the other, all the better. However, very few can actually do this, which is why the statement above is very popular I think. It makes people feel better about their understandable concerns, fears, frustration, self doubt & discomfort, rather than encouraging us to explore ways we can all be fully present to what is.

As someone who has struggled a great deal with SI, & what is to be human alongside so many other sentient beings, I’m acutely sensitive to not wanting to burden anyone, as we’re all struggling with something. So it’s beyond a blessing when I can talk freely with those who aren’t afraid to admit they don’t have all the answers either, & are as genuine in their enjoyment of wanting to get to know me as I am them.

THIS is the conversation, the harmonious dance with one another, & until we wholeheartedly embrace it along with all that we fear, we will not fully see each-other, nor what’s in front of us. Instead, we’ll continue to adopt assumptive platitudes that sound great but do not remotely help those who sorely need it & save countless lives. SI or otherwise.