Also, I’ve heard and read news-media references to a 19-year-old female victim as a ‘girl’, while (in an unrelated case) a 17-year-old male perpetrator was described as a ‘man’. Could it be that this is revelatory of an already present gender bias held by the general news consumership, since news-media tend to sell us what we want or are willing to consume thus buy?

It could be the same mentality that might help explain why the book Childhood Disrupted was only able to include one man among its six interviewed adult subjects, there presumably being such a small pool of ACE-traumatized men willing to formally tell his own story of childhood abuse.

It could be yet more evidence of a continuing subtle societal take-it-like-a-man mindset; one in which so many men, even with anonymity, would prefer not to ‘complain’ to some stranger/author about his torturous childhood, as that is what ‘real men’ do. [FYI: I tried multiple times contacting the book’s author via internet websites in regards to this non-addressed florescent elephant in the room, but I received no response.]

If physically survived, emotional and/or psychological trauma from unhindered toxic abuse, sexual or otherwise, usually results in a helpless child’s brain improperly developing. If allowed to continue for a prolonged period, it can act as a starting point into a life in which the brain uncontrollably releases potentially damaging levels of inflammation-promoting stress hormones and chemicals, even in non-stressful daily routines. I consider it a form of non-physical-impact brain damage.

The lasting mental pain is very formidable yet invisibly confined to inside one’s head. It is solitarily suffered, unlike an openly visible physical disability or condition, which tends to elicit sympathy/empathy from others. It can make every day a mental ordeal, unless the turmoil is treated with some form of medicating, either prescribed or illicit.

The health of all children — and not just whining over what other parents’ children might or will cost us as future criminals or costly cases of government care, etcetera — needs to be of real importance to us all, regardless of how well our own developing children are doing.

A physically and mentally sound future should be every child’s fundamental right — along with air, water, food and shelter — especially considering the very troubled world into which they never asked to enter. Mindlessly minding our own business on such matters has too often proven humanly devastating.

Hi Carola. A trauma bond is an intense relationship between two people. I found the following article that may help you. https://thriveworks.com/blog/what-does-trauma-bonding-look-like/ Healthy relationships are give and take where each person gives of themselves but also takes from the other person. I also found this article:
https://www.oprahdaily.com/life/relationships-love/a36788688/what-is-trauma-bonding/ It has information on what is and how to break a trauma bond. Good luck to you. If you have any further questions feel free to contact me. Thank you for reading my piece. I appreciate that. Shirley

12-step groups offer support by meeting new people who have similar difficulties as you. Healing happens when you find out you are not alone. I’m sorry you do not approve of them but millions of people, including myself, have found them very healing. Shirley