Hey Jen, here is an article that might be helpful: . Additionally, I have a FREE community for trauma survivors who are working on the trauma that shows up in your career. If you are interested. https://rca.group.app/join_group/xhimgo3ME7LnzQvtPrS

Wow, Thank you for sharing. I to was adopted into a terrible environment where I felt “alien”. I was lied to and gaslit for my entire childhood regarding being adopted. I believe it is a very deep soul wound being adopted. Then all the physical and psychological abuse after. So many layers of stuff for so many years. It takes a toll. It always has. To all adoptees….I SEE YOU!

Same thing for me but I have multiple traumas of different kinds including what you went through. I was at the top of my game at a financial institution for 27 years when I finally got triggered at work due to harassment and abuse. The bank protected those people and I triggered again. I finally left there after 4 years of short term and long term disability. Was hired by a different financial institution, had a major panic attack and it went downhill from there. I went out on short term, came back for three months, they triggered an even worse panic attack and I’m currently back out on short term again. They basically don’t want to hear about your mental health issue and for the first time in my 29 year career I got the worst review ever in my life. There wasn’t one positive word on it. That’s how they got even and the sad part is, when I reported it, I was basically told it was my fault and I got what I deserved. Once I return to work, they said they will allow me to work remote for three months then I have to come back into a building that is not safe for me. I can ask for an extension but requires all new documentation from my medical staff. I cannot drive far due to dissociation and they do not care that I live an hour and a half away. This has been an absolute nightmare.

Hi Tim, just so happy to see a new post here. I posted my story last year and you can read it among the posts here.

Currently my ability to function is better than it was then, though still hard (and still preferably less than 20 hours) I work from home almost always. But I just now took, what seems to parts of me, a terrifying risk: I proposed to the company to present on some of the skills i learned and want to share to the benefit of my coworkers whether struggling or trying to be intentional about their career. I feel so strongly about paying forward the gains of my struggles, and still fear gets the better of me. Today, however, I felt the courage and hit send. And I was able to do that because of what I just learned yesterday in my Neurographic art class (with Mary Amini) which allows me to process right brain, subconscious, emotional material without talking about it, but by letting my subconscious to the surface with very simple drawings. I’m excited, and surprisingly not feeling the terror after hitting send!

Just keep on putting one foot in front of the other, and, whenever possible for you, one foot in front of the other in the company of a supportive other.

My wish for you is to encounter such supportive and understanding others as often as possible!

Warm regards,
Noemi

Dear Cyndi

I just want to say how much I appreciate and value your writing on CPTSD in the workplace. I was diagnosed with CPTSD six months ago and am currently on leave from work because of the difficulty I was having regulating my emotions. Work used to be my refuge but I found that I was increasingly triggered by workplace policies that seemed unjust, and unable to cope with office noise (especially conversations), even with noise-cancelling headphones. My ability to cope with complexity, prioritisation and deadlines fell apart.

I can identify with nearly everything you’ve written about. It’s a great comfort because I know that I’m not alone in experiencing these challenges, and that they all have a common root in childhood trauma.

I wasn’t abused as a child, but my childhood was still traumatic on account of being separated from my mother and adopted into a family where I felt like an alien. Most people don’t recognise what I experienced as trauma because it is difficult for someone who hasn’t experienced it to understand what it is like to be an abandoned child growing up without a frame of reference or sense of connection with which to form a healthy identity. I didn’t know who or even what I was, only that I was damaged, broken, defective, worthless and unworthy. I had to hide my pain and my true self for fear of being rejected and once again abandoned. It is a special kind of torture that leaves no mark but twists and corrodes your psyche and soul.

I coped pretty well for most of my life but after I turned 50 things went into a downward spiral. Interestingly, your inaugural post coincided with my 51 birthday. That’s about the time when something snapped inside me and I’ve not been the same since.

I’m getting therapy but the road to recovery is long and slow. If I ever get back to work your posts will be an invaluable support in the workplace.

Regards, Tim

I was recently in a domestic violence situation with my kids father who I have known since I was 13, I’m 30 now we stayed away for 5 years, and I decided to give him a chance/opportunity to meet his family again. Everyone can change, I reckon anyhow, but at the same time.. it’s a choice at the end of the day. Not everyone makes that choice. I worked at my job since Nov. 2019 and was top five of the company for over half of that time employed, it is a very large company. I had to miss quite a bit of work due to the d.v. there were two incidents; second time he broke into our home and we were sleeping I ended up getting physically assaulted. My job explained when I come back, I would not be remote anymore & they would bring me back into office, which I was not able to do. Legal, kids, mental health(kids&self), safety,CPS, d.v. advocate & legal, CPO(filed on my own)..I got a letter from my doctor under the ada reasonable accommodations so that I could continue to work at my job and to do so remotely where it fit all of our schedules, especially with the current situation. After that it seems like they really retaliated- they brought me back asap, as soon as got eqiupment back, tried to keep in office schedule, then proceeded to suspend me my first day back from absences/stats off or low & only reason was due to the d.v./had all proof. In the end I ended up losing my job because of a no-call no show even though I have been in contact with them almost every day if not twice a day and asked for FMLA several times as well. I feel like I was treated very unfairly because again I was top five in the company for over half of my time there I made $17 an hour, I was really good at my job, it’s just crazy how people try to hold things against you, I don’t know what the ADA did to make them upset or if they just need the guys that smart maybe but I just needed some time I couldn’t even think or process or anything my PTSD came back full force and probably worse than ever honestly