I know that when I was a kid my parents didn’t really take care of my siblings or myself when we were sick. Their religious beliefs made them wary of most medications and they basically thought a healthy lifestyle was the answer to everything. When one of us was sick, they’d basically blame us for it: too much candy at school, too much TV, not enough exercise – then they’d tell us to stop being so dramatic and wait it out. We were still expected to go to school, attend extracurriculars and do house chores no matter what. I remember feeling desperate, sometimes, when issues dragged on and I felt increasingly unable to balance all my responsibilities.

I’ll have to bring this to my therapist but it might be that the experience of physically feeling sick comes with a variety of deep-set anxieties – that I won’t be able to care for and protect myself in that state, that I’ll lose value if I can’t function normally, that it’s all my fault.

I’m glad my writing could help with not feeling alone, and I’m sorry that you struggle in a similar way. It’s really tough to be in that loop, no doubt. I hope you will find relief soon.

I’m sorry that, that was your experience. You deserved so much better. Thank you for being here with us and continuing to learn and grow.

Thanks for your comment, and being here with us! It is a lot to process, and you are doing your best. One day at a time.

I have medical traumas from being sick the first four years of my life and being in and out of the hospital from age 0-4, being stuck with needles and IVs and having surgeries, etc… with very little helpful emotional support from my parents because they weren’t in tune with my needs.

So, throw in being sick and feeling neglected by others around me and I start getting paranoid, anxious, having flashbacks, nightmares, mood swings (usually low depressive moods or teenage-esque irritability).

The emotional flashbacks are the worst because I still have trouble recognizing them in the moment, especially if it’s something different than usual that triggered me.

You’re definitely not alone in illness being a trigger.

And, throwing up and/or diarrhea…? Can also be a trigger for me because of said illnesses growing up, and also miscarriage trauma which created more medical trauma which ended up sexually retraumatizing me.

A VERY nasty loop of issues that has knocked the wind out of my sails for two and a half years now. Definitely not alone, Friend. Thanks for sharing your story! It’s nice to not feel so alone.

Thanks for taking the time to comment Jamie and for sharing a part of your story. I get it and indeed the struggle is real… as they say. I’m glad things sound like they are going better at the moment. I appreciate you and wish you the best. 💕

I too have CPTSD and have been working through trauma. Last summer my emotions shut down and I took medical leave from work and went into a mental health facility where all sorts of repressed memories came up. While I was there, however, I was worried about my job.

I get injured a lot because my muscles carry so much tight trauma (tearing tendons in my sleep). I was called “dramatic” by my parents for any injury and that’s a huge trigger, but at the same time, the idea that I won’t be able to work, of letting people down, and not having work as my distraction from trauma became hugely apparent while I was seeking treatment. I just kept trying to go back to work, trying to sneak it in like an addict. But my brain couldn’t think, so I couldn’t actually work. It took months of not working to settle that part down. Body’s protector as my therapist calls it.

Good luck on your journey as you navigate everything