https://cptsdfoundation.org/2022/05/31/grieving-a-narcissist-parent-i-was-dying-and-you-were-getting-a-massage/ The Foundation for Post-Traumatic Healing and Complex Trauma Research Mon, 20 Feb 2023 00:09:28 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 https://cptsdfoundation.org/2022/05/31/grieving-a-narcissist-parent-i-was-dying-and-you-were-getting-a-massage/#comment-18085 Mon, 20 Feb 2023 00:09:28 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=241318#comment-18085 Thank you for the story. I wonder what I will feel when my father passes (he is 93 now)? I haven’t seen him in over 25 years. And haven’t had a relationship with him in over 30 years. The good news is that I have been in EMDR therapy for 5 years now and still have quite a bit to work through.

]]> https://cptsdfoundation.org/2022/05/31/grieving-a-narcissist-parent-i-was-dying-and-you-were-getting-a-massage/#comment-16778 Mon, 22 Aug 2022 17:01:55 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=241318#comment-16778 Thank you for reading, Alexa. I’m so sorry you had to experience this kind of trauma. Learning about CPTSD was definitely helpful. I too continue to maneuver through the layers of trauma. It’s amazing what we thought we were responsible for as children that’s haunted us into adulthood. I’ve made tremendous strides with weekly EMDR therapy sessions, talk therapy, and yoga to loosen my muscles. Good luck on your healing journey.

]]> https://cptsdfoundation.org/2022/05/31/grieving-a-narcissist-parent-i-was-dying-and-you-were-getting-a-massage/#comment-16175 Sat, 18 Jun 2022 20:38:34 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=241318#comment-16175 I relate with your story, I had to return to my narc mother’s house, when my dad passed away in 2021. Neither of my two brothers was financially an option to take care of her. I hated every second I had to do it; I had sworn never to live in the same house as her. This time there was no criticism or violence from her, but I did have to deal with her gaslighting for 11 months.
Due to the pandemic, I did not leave the house for more than 1 year, and when I finally decided to give myself a night with some friends, that day my mother died in her sleep. When I discovered her the next day, I didn’t know what to feel, there were no tears, but no relief either, because in my head I could hear her voice telling me, “You were partying while I was dying at home”…. That guilt lived with me for weeks.
At that time the only diagnosis I had was that I suffered from anxiety disorder and depression, but I always felt that this diagnosis fell short of everything I felt, especially that fatigue, that muscular tension and that insomnia that It deprives me of sleep for as long as I can remember. In my work there is a psychological care program to which I decided to apply and that’s when I started to learn about CPTSD. Weeks later I was officially diagnosed, and it has been such a difficult healing journey; one would think that it could be easy, because my narcissistic mother and my neglectful father are no longer alive, but everything I suffered with them is still in me as if it happened yesterday…. But at least now, knowing that I have CPTSD gives me some hope, because everything I feel, mentally and physically has a reason. I’m not crazy.
I tell myself every day that nothing that happened to me was my fault, as my therapist tells me, hoping that one day it will resonate in my brain, and I can truly feel it.

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