Comments on: The Dark Chasm of Disappointment & Learned Helplessness https://cptsdfoundation.org/2022/10/19/the-dark-chasm-of-disappointment-learned-helplessness/ The Foundation for Post-Traumatic Healing and Complex Trauma Research Wed, 15 Apr 2026 20:35:50 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 By: If You Felt Overlooked Often As A Child, You Likely Have 11 Near-Daily Frustrations As An Adult – Team BPCS https://cptsdfoundation.org/2022/10/19/the-dark-chasm-of-disappointment-learned-helplessness/#comment-52737 Wed, 15 Apr 2026 20:35:50 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=244949#comment-52737 […] spiritual counselor and intuitive coach Sunny Lynn describes it, “As an adult, being disappointed can become something that devastates us […]

]]> By: Randy https://cptsdfoundation.org/2022/10/19/the-dark-chasm-of-disappointment-learned-helplessness/#comment-34924 Wed, 11 Jun 2025 19:35:47 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=244949#comment-34924 Thank you

]]> By: Also Kate https://cptsdfoundation.org/2022/10/19/the-dark-chasm-of-disappointment-learned-helplessness/#comment-28700 Mon, 14 Oct 2024 06:19:14 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=244949#comment-28700 So today, something awful happened to me. The real, shitty, and really simple issue to solve for other people. But not with cPTSD from narcissistic abuse, where both parents were narcissists. For me, a pattern of helplessness feels almost impossible to get through.
I decided to write about this episode.

The pattern of tolerating toxic shitty behavior, PATTERN of self-betrayal, PATTERN of shame to forget and not talk about it any more quickly.

This week is going to be heavy and busy, so I decided to go to the bathhouse early in the morning to unload. I arrived, undressed, went to the shower, and it stinks, I didn’t know what it was, and when I looked down I saw traces of shit. I got dressed, I went to tell the clerk there was shit in the shower. He came with a broom and cleaned it up and that was it, he didn’t offer me another room, nothing and just left.

And my logic. I got up at 6 a.m.; I came far away, and the bath looked okay. I took some paper and soap and cleaned the shower. I went to the bath and stayed there for a while, but I couldn’t do it.
Why am I paying money for such a service? Why didn’t I immediately pack my things and leave?
Why do I have such a high tolerance in the literal sense for the shitty attitude towards me?
Such helplessness and inner acceptance of bullshit. It was such a betrayal of myself out of a desire to be comfortable. I am so ashamed to write this.
Anyway, I came out of the bathhouse in tears; I started crying when I got dressed. And I asked them, “Is it normal to be treated like this? Is it normal for me to have to clean it and pay for it? I refused to pay and left.

But I don’t understand why I brought myself to tears and hysterics and didn’t just turn around and leave as soon as I saw the shit.

I want to wish all survivors a speedy recovery and restoration. It may seem impossible, but we will make it. I believe in you, and I am hugging you, accepting you, and supporting you.

]]> By: Kate https://cptsdfoundation.org/2022/10/19/the-dark-chasm-of-disappointment-learned-helplessness/#comment-25205 Tue, 23 Apr 2024 23:52:48 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=244949#comment-25205 This is amazing Sunny. Wow it is exactly what I needed to read. I have CPTSD and found this extremely beneficial. So, just to ensure that I have understood correctly, when you said “I am not a disappointment”, is that insinuating that someone with CPTSD can internalise this disappointment to such a level that we could begin to project it onto our own behaviour or view of how other may perceive us as being a disappointment? Woah, this would make sense as to why I’ve been struggling with this disappointment feeling as sometimes I even create scenarios to affirm this disappointment I felt as a child and throughout toxic adult relational dynamics, yet I had never viewed it from the perspective of the other feeling that I am a disappointment. Yet a lot of things from childhood made me feel like such a huge disappointment to authoritative figures. Thanks so much for sharing this article.

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