This isn’t a fad, it’s a protective measure which is sometimes required in order to find peace and joy in life.

You seem VERY upset that people are allowed to determine the people they interact with and cannot be forced into contact with those who refuse to respect their boundaries even if they are related.

No one owes anyone else endless chances to cause them harm. I don’t know of anyone who has cut contact with someone they had a healthy and mutually rewarding relationship with.

No one is owed someone else’s energy, time, presence, and effort. If you want to be a part of someone’s life I suggest treating them with care, kindness, empathy, and compassion.

We only have one life, it’s too short to spend it with people who mistreat you. Spend your energy cultivating a chosen family who make your life better.

I sincerely hope that your time here on Earth with people who return the same exact energy, compassion, and care that you give. May your kindness find its way back to you!

I’m estranged from my parents and since their son is equally abusive they naturally decided to put him in charge of the estate. I haven’t spoken to him in ten years and I have no intention of ever speaking to him again. I have hired an attorney to he the go between and handle all matters pertaining to the Will.

He was mailed a certified letter instructing that he notified my lawyer when the last parent passes and he will then need to provide their bank statements and a list of all asserts, along with a current house key. He will be held accountable as to every move he makes with the estate money and I will get my due, minus the aggravation of dealing with him.

You go girl. You deserve a better life.

Amen to that!!

It’s a damn tough road. I’m sending you love. I feel you.

The programming you get takes time to unravel. You WILL attract more of the same – even after going no contact – because there are behavioural patterns established. Ten years and there are less and less toxic people around me as I heal. And that is how I know I am. No contact hurts though.. but only in it is tough to accept that you ever deserved their crap or that your family is no family at all. I’m giving myself time. But, yeah… Grieving what you never had is hard.

This ain’t no “fad” Eva. So, you suggest that I should allow myself to be continually abused? Are you insane? I went no contact 10 years ago. BEST thing I ever did. Demon’s don’t change.

I worked with my family for 15 years. They used abusive language towards me, one of them held me up against a wall by my neck. After years of this I went ‘no contact’. I had been trying to get away from them for years. I got my mental clarity back, and worked on getting my confidence back. I was vilified by some people, those not aware of the abuse behind closed doors. Going no contact was really lonely, although I have good friends around me. I resumed tentative contact after around 2 years. I was more confident and my family now treat me with more respect as I had the courage to lay down a very strong boundary. In an ideal world none of this would have happened, but it has. Going no contact definitely had its pros and cons but I was close to having a nervous breakdown (my brother had a nervous breakdown 2 years prior). I still love my family and I know that I could not cut them off completely, sometimes you just need space and peace.

Not all situations of no-contact are good decisions. Those with mental health issues who do it out of skewed perception cause serious damage to their family members, the family as a whole, and eventually to themselves on top of everything else. There are situations when it’s extremely important as an only option. But it is being overused. It is often not the only or best option for anyone in the family.