My sister and I went through child sexual abuse by the hands of my father for a total of 13 years. I finally came out about it 2 years ago and we are still battling in court to send him to prison. I understand you Diane, my entire life is almost just pitch black and my sister can vividly remember everything and it’s so difficult to live different yet the same with each other. I had work today and as usual, building things is exhausting, so I took a nap, but having just woken up from a nightmare about my abuser, I understand you Wanda. I’m still so exhausted, but now I’m terrified to fall back into my much needed sleep because of the nightmare. I hate that they pop up out of nowhere and without warning, but each time, it’s almost the same exact dream and thinking about it makes my skin crawl. Let’s just say, I am not excited in the least to continue with these nightmares all my life if that’s the way things go, but I might go back to therapy and see if it’ll help with anything. Thanks for listening to my TED Talk -Emily

Hey Diane,
I know how you are feeling. I too went through sexual and physical abuse. Mine was at the hands of my step mother and father. I’ve been through so many years of therapy but can’t seem to get a handle on the nightmares. They will go away for a while and then return for nights on end. I wake up in the middle of the night with so much anxiety and crying. It leaves me afraid to fall asleep the following night. Then they leave for a period of time and I get rest. I just can’t figure out how to make them go away forever. I am 64 years old. Menopause made my anxiety and nightmares much worse. Now being post menopause they have gotten better, but still haunt me. Child abuse is horrible! Thanks for listening… Wanda

It troubles me, not only the extent of abuse I endured, but that this life of abuse effects me through my dreams. Yes, I’ve been to therapy. I’ve written a couple books. I’ve dealt, head on, with what I survived. Yet in my dream land, this is an area I can’t seem to control.

I will literally force myself to stay awake until I am exhausted and basically pass out so I can finally lay down to sleep. I go, go, go all day and night. Keeping so busy so when it’s time for bed, I can sleep.

How disturbing that this woman, who dared to call herself a mother, has destroyed all of my siblings and I. When she took her life, I cried for four days! First time in my life I felt safe! I thought she’d take all she ruined with her to her grave.

Thank you for sharing your story. You give hope to so many.

God bless you always.