Comments on: Let’s Talk About Sex and Intimacy After Surviving Sexual Abuse

By: Elizabeth Woods

Elizabeth Woods — Tue, 14 Jul 2026 19:08:49 +0000

Hi Struggling Survivor, Thank you for taking the time to read my article and for responding with such honesty. I know how you feel because I’ve been there. I can honestly say that healing takes time and touch is incredibly difficult to tackle. I’m glad to hear that you’re going to see a professional. It’s a good step forward. There are two things you can try that helped me with my “touch” phobia.

The first one is to start noticing your body and being comfortable seeing it and noticing it in different situations. Write down how you are feeling inside when you are alone, with people, at work – all of it. Notice what comes up and mention them to your therapist. Remember to go easy on yourself because your body is what got you through terrible times. You survived and you are much stronger than you think.

The second thing which is just as important is to take good care of yourself. Mindfulness, breathing slowly and doing something you enjoy can really help your mood. Take a walk in nature, or go for a run. If you’re not into the outdoors, try the gym or a racket sport.
Confide in one friend about how you are feeling and share the pain you are feeling.
Know that you are not alone in feeling like this. I wish you well. Take care from Lizzy.

By: StrugglingSurvivor

StrugglingSurvivor — Thu, 09 Jul 2026 11:48:20 +0000

I spent 23 years in a marriage of abuse. I cringe to think of being touched. I do not date. I have no desire for sex. I know it is from being repeatedly sexually assaulted by my ex-husband. I hate when someone comments on my body. I refuse to discuss sex in any conversation. I have trouble making friends even with females my age because of this. I have been called a prude. Maybe I am. To me, sex is overrated. I do not want to hear details of an encounter it grosses me out. I hate the awkward feeling of wanting to escape a room if sex is the subject matter. I am 47 and have never had a normal relationship. I do not know how to fix this brokenness in me. My therapist constantly reassures me that this is normal for an abuse survivor. I hate C-PTSD.

By: Jacqueline

Jacqueline — Mon, 05 Aug 2024 21:01:36 +0000

In reply to Andrew. I'm so sorry to hear about your story and trauma. I hope you're feeling much better as none of this is your fault. Seek healing in that. God bless. 🙏🏻

By: Andrew

Andrew — Wed, 01 May 2024 15:53:46 +0000

Excellent work. I was a virgin on my wedding night. I was 25, just finished 6 years in the Marines, and somehow was still a virgin. My own parents didn’t believe me, at first. Not for lack of trying though.

One of my Marine buddies even set me up with one of his friends, but couldn’t force myself to go beyond “second base.” At least the young woman wasn’t upset with me. She could tell I was really struggling.

I would learn why, 24 years later. Dissociative amnesia was keeping me from my childhood. I don’t count rape as losing one’s virginity. Or else I had mine stolen at age 2.

For a handful of years I just accepted that sex simply wasn’t for me. Not that I didn’t want to have sex, or make love with a loving partner, just that those things alluded me.

I was married for 19 years, to an abusive woman. Sex with her, was always more like work, like performing one of your job duties, you know? And it was always on her schedule, no matter when I tried to initiate it. This doesn’t take into account any of the sexual assault/abuse from her, just “normal” sex.

We’ve been divorced since Jan 2019. I haven’t had any kind of sex since mid-2017. She’s remarried 2 years now, and I haven’t even had 1 date.