Comments on: When a Victim Doesn’t Know She’s a Victim: Survivor’s Guilt, the “Fawn” Response, Trauma Bonds, and Setting Boundaries https://cptsdfoundation.org/2024/11/08/when-a-victim-doesnt-know-shes-a-victim-survivors-guilt-the-fawn-response-trauma-bonds-and-setting-boundaries/ The Foundation for Post-Traumatic Healing and Complex Trauma Research Sat, 16 Nov 2024 18:55:40 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 By: Elizabeth Woods https://cptsdfoundation.org/2024/11/08/when-a-victim-doesnt-know-shes-a-victim-survivors-guilt-the-fawn-response-trauma-bonds-and-setting-boundaries/#comment-29395 Sat, 16 Nov 2024 18:55:40 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=987498573#comment-29395 In reply to Natalie Rose.

Thanks Natalie. Life’s been rough lately but I’m hanging in there. There is always another sunrise.

]]> By: Natalie Rose https://cptsdfoundation.org/2024/11/08/when-a-victim-doesnt-know-shes-a-victim-survivors-guilt-the-fawn-response-trauma-bonds-and-setting-boundaries/#comment-29384 Fri, 15 Nov 2024 08:34:16 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=987498573#comment-29384 In reply to Elizabeth Woods.

Hi Elizabeth,

It’s so wonderful to see you on one of my posts! I have been following along on your posts on the blog. You are a great writer and so honest and brave. I understand it can be so difficult (even decades later) when these feelings and symptoms still occur. Your trauma is different from mine, but it seems that our journeys are similar. I love how, within the CPTSD community, it doesn’t matter what our trauma is, but we all share similar feelings and experiences as to how our brains, bodies, and nervous systems reacted to different traumas. I am glad that many who likely feel isolated feel less alone when we talk openly about our shared experiences.

I cannot imagine the brutality of some of the worlds you were in for so long. It’s so unfair, and it makes me want to cry for you. I will never be able to wrap my head around that level of evil. You are insanely strong.

Just continue to remind yourself that there is absolutely *nothing* wrong with you! Remember all the progress you’ve made. And keep taking baby steps each day to improve.

All the best and keep fighting!
♡, Natalie

]]> By: Natalie Rose https://cptsdfoundation.org/2024/11/08/when-a-victim-doesnt-know-shes-a-victim-survivors-guilt-the-fawn-response-trauma-bonds-and-setting-boundaries/#comment-29382 Fri, 15 Nov 2024 08:24:24 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=987498573#comment-29382 In reply to Kari.

Absolutely. You are so right! Your brain and body had normal reactions to horrific situations.

I wrote another post about my own experiences with anger. Perhaps you’ll be able to resonate with it as well:
https://cptsdfoundation.org/2024/06/05/trauma-survivors-your-anger-is-not-your-own-2/

I’m proud of you for letting go of the self-guilt and self-blame. And forgiving yourself. Even if these feelings still linger sometimes, I hope you consistently remind yourself that it was not your fault. You are not crazy… you were just damaged by crazy. I wish you the best as you continue to make progress, Kari!

]]> By: Natalie Rose https://cptsdfoundation.org/2024/11/08/when-a-victim-doesnt-know-shes-a-victim-survivors-guilt-the-fawn-response-trauma-bonds-and-setting-boundaries/#comment-29381 Fri, 15 Nov 2024 08:18:17 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=987498573#comment-29381 In reply to Sarah.

Sarah – I’m so glad to hear you can resonate. Healing is not easy, but I am glad that you haven’t given up yet and made the choice to pursue the holistic route. If your experience is anything like mine, pharmaceuticals may have only stalled your progress and made things worse. I encourage you to not give up and keep experimenting with other things that might work for you, even if it is not what the mainstream/crowd is doing. I wish you the absolute best on your journey and hope to see you on future posts of mine. ♡

]]> By: Natalie Rose https://cptsdfoundation.org/2024/11/08/when-a-victim-doesnt-know-shes-a-victim-survivors-guilt-the-fawn-response-trauma-bonds-and-setting-boundaries/#comment-29380 Fri, 15 Nov 2024 08:14:08 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=987498573#comment-29380 In reply to Lise Brun.

Hi Lisa! Thank you so much for your kind words! I am so glad to hear that it helped you. I will continue to share my story in hopes that it encourages others on their own journey.

]]> By: Elizabeth Woods https://cptsdfoundation.org/2024/11/08/when-a-victim-doesnt-know-shes-a-victim-survivors-guilt-the-fawn-response-trauma-bonds-and-setting-boundaries/#comment-29340 Tue, 12 Nov 2024 19:12:24 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=987498573#comment-29340 Hey Natalie, thanks for this blog. I can empathize with most of it since i am a survivor of trauma / abuse and living with CPTSD. My journey is very similar to yours and life has not been great but I pretend it has. Some days I wonder if that pain will ever end because when I start sobbing, I cannot seem to stop! Triggers still hit me.
Like you I cannot help but wonder what is wrong with me. Why is that pain so deep even after decades?

]]> By: Kari https://cptsdfoundation.org/2024/11/08/when-a-victim-doesnt-know-shes-a-victim-survivors-guilt-the-fawn-response-trauma-bonds-and-setting-boundaries/#comment-29337 Tue, 12 Nov 2024 15:26:26 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=987498573#comment-29337 The thing that helped me forgive myself, and actually ended / greatly decreased the constant just-under-the surface rage that would explode for reasons unknown to me, was to ACCEPT that I did not have my own mind, after the trauma.
Therefore, I chose to no longer hold myself accountable, even as an adult, for any ‘bad’ decisions I had made. I effectively judged myself as NOT GUILTY.
I had been held ‘guilty’ and made to hold and carry everyone else’s in my toxic family’s guilt for their own bad decisions. I was an innocent child. I was lied to, lied about, manipulated and gaslighted, then made to feel at fault for developing mental health issues because of it.

]]> By: Sarah https://cptsdfoundation.org/2024/11/08/when-a-victim-doesnt-know-shes-a-victim-survivors-guilt-the-fawn-response-trauma-bonds-and-setting-boundaries/#comment-29336 Tue, 12 Nov 2024 15:02:40 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=987498573#comment-29336 Thank you for sharing your story so courageously. As someone living with cptsd I can resonate so much with your journey. I have also gone the holistic route to find healing when pharmaceuticals and psychotherapy could only help so far. It’s inspiring to hear that it is possible to get to the other side of this. Thank you

]]> By: Lise Brun https://cptsdfoundation.org/2024/11/08/when-a-victim-doesnt-know-shes-a-victim-survivors-guilt-the-fawn-response-trauma-bonds-and-setting-boundaries/#comment-29331 Tue, 12 Nov 2024 11:55:25 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=987498573#comment-29331 Hi Natalie,
Thank you so much for your post today! You are brave and you are kind. Your words helped me so much. Especially liked reading your bio! I’m grateful for writers like you who share their healing journeys. May your wisdom and message of hope ripple into the universe.

]]> By: Natalie Rose https://cptsdfoundation.org/2024/11/08/when-a-victim-doesnt-know-shes-a-victim-survivors-guilt-the-fawn-response-trauma-bonds-and-setting-boundaries/#comment-29317 Mon, 11 Nov 2024 18:43:58 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=987498573#comment-29317 In reply to Erica.

Hi Erica,

Thank you so much for your kind comment. I am so glad to hear my story resonated with you. You are so brave for putting in the hard work to heal and get back to your professional life. It is definitely terrifying, but I believe you can overcome it and return to the person you were always designed to be. As those who have gone through similar things, we are in this together in finding that wholeness in your soul you mentioned. It’s 100% possible, I believe! Stay strong!!

♡, Natalie

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