Trouble was, though I got unto deep emotional/psychological trouble and was nurtured for a while by a Consultant Psychiatrist (UK), I had to move on and could not experience the ability to ask for more elsewhere – I was so well-trained to not even recognise my own needs but only those of the family.

I have striven all my life though, and have twins sons living elsewhere. A house, a pension, a garden.

Why do I experience a constant tremor thru out my body and is this what is called hypervigilance? I live alone of course so am often lonely which does not help!