Thank you so much for sharing this. One of the most important parts of understanding the fawn response is realizing that people-pleasing is not always simply a personality trait. For many trauma survivors, it began as a way to stay safe, reduce conflict, or preserve connection.

That awareness can bring a great deal of self-compassion. You are certainly not alone, and I’m glad the article helped you view this pattern through a different and more compassionate lens.

So brave he is are my first thoughts in reading this. This awakening will be better for your daughter I feel. So that she gets to see the real you. I tried to see my real mom past all of her trauma responses. Before she did I never got to know who she really was. I’m trying to get my husband to wake up from this pattern created by his mother. When he stands up and communicates I feel he is truly with me. Often when he expresses his opinion he feels instant fear or guilt. We both are the same. I just woke up earlier with ACOA and codependents anonymous meeting s. Those meetings aren’t perfect… nothing is.. but they saved me. Listening to others who developed trauma responses that became a part of our personalities. We all try to find out who we really are. Who am I? We all find out together. John Bradshaw talked about dying before even ever really being yourself. Compared it to the character-Willie Loma in death of a salesman. I will continue to watch for husband’s true self to come out. It’s so beautiful to see. I’m glad I read this. This means there’s hope for my husband. I didn’t know if it was more difficult more men to break free.