“Hi Jessica. So much of what you wrote deeply resonates with me. The message “Do You Love Me” is generally not crisply stated or heard when listening to survivors. You and I are not alone, but one might think so from the silence… the silence in the unspoken words – “Do you Love Me?”

I was brought to tears reading your childhood experience. Sincerely, I had thought for most of my life that I was alone, an enigma, somehow unrelatable to others’ feelings and experiences. I was raised in Catholicism, like your mentioning of a cult… perhaps not so different. I could go on about each thing you said, like one has to walk on eggshells around mom’s fragile feelings, and I completely relate to being a social embarrassment to my mother. You are “definitely” not alone, and you and I are now better enlightened.

Thank you for sharing that; it was important to me to hear your words.

Jesse

I hope more people dare to share their experience and understanding of what this essay tries to convey and expose here in the comments. If you’d like to share more briefly on this topic, that would be most welcome and I would respond. I think this is an important experience, perhaps brushed off and shoved under the carpet for many people.

Appreciatively,

Jesse