Jesse, thank you. You understood exactly why I wrote it. The word narcissism gets thrown around so often now that decent, self-questioning people can start wondering whether something is wrong with them simply because they feel distant, guarded, or hard to reach.

That deserves more care than a label. I’m glad the article helped, and I appreciate you taking the time to tell me.

And no, forgetfulness does not count 😉

Narcissism is a buzzword of our age. “They are a narcissist,” a phrase used with an utter lack of truly understanding its meaning. A person who is a jerk becomes a narcissist. It has become a derogatory automatic put-down toward someone’s behavior we don’t like. Narcissist, narcissist, narcissist. With such an explosion and exploitation of the use of the word, it only makes sense that an individual struggling with emotional detachment or alienation problems might look within and self-assess as a narcissist, especially regarding experiencing that sense of emotional distance from others.

I can only speak for myself, but I found this paper on presenting an avoidant’s isolation vs. narcissistic traits of feeling isolated, distant, or on the outside to be most welcome and helpful. I meant to comment earlier, but I forgot. (Does being forgetful make me a narcissist? Yes, I’m kidding.) High praise for your paper, a very thoughtful and important essay.

Jesse