Thank you for this post. Even though my trauma with the woman who brought me into this world was nothing like yours, it was bad. Even though that woman died last year, Mother’s Day comes and goes without a thought from me.
All of my life, I tried to be a good daughter but she wouldn’t let me. She pushed me away at every attempt on my part to connect with her. When I stopped trying, she cut me out of her will and her life.
She contracted dementia in her last years but it didn’t stop the Narcissistic behavior. Her last phone call to me was an attempt to get me to get her car keys back as she was unable to drive. When I told her she was talking to the wrong daughter as she’d given all of the money and authority to her other daughter, I never heard from her again.
So, even though our circumstances are wildly different, I relate to your inability to celebrate a mother who would treat a precious child as she did. My only thoughts of my so-called mother are that I am glad she is dead so that my life is free from her taint. I am sad she was such a miserable person who, instead of cherishing her children, did her level best to alienate them.
Even though I didn’t have a real mother, I look at people around me and am happy they did get a mother who is worth celebrating.
Thank you for your continued courage to tell your story. I always look forward to reading your posts. They give me hope. Know what you write matters.