https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/09/08/time-to-turn-the-tide-helping-children-of-complex-trauma-survivors/ The Foundation for Post-Traumatic Healing and Complex Trauma Research, C-PTSD, CPTSD Sat, 24 Oct 2026 15:12:28 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=7.1.3 https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/09/08/time-to-turn-the-tide-helping-children-of-complex-trauma-survivors/#comment-61787 Sat, 24 Oct 2026 15:12:28 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=987504961#comment-61787 Oh Denise, reading this made me feel your pain from an adult perspective. I’m an adult survivor of childhood trauma and abuse. I have also witnessed a friend go through divorce after an abusive marriage.
C-PTSD can happen to anyone and there are many people who are stuck in violent and abusive relationships. You are strong to have managed to get away and I understand that it;s not easy when kids are caught in the midst. Many people can’t do that and I applaud you for reaching out to your parents, friends and therapist for the help you needed. I’m sure you will guide your kids away from everything that’s been and onto a healing path.
Take care of you and your family. God bless you.
Love from Lizzy (This is my story: http://www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com)

]]> https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/09/08/time-to-turn-the-tide-helping-children-of-complex-trauma-survivors/#comment-61758 Sat, 24 Oct 2026 06:22:22 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=987504961#comment-61758 Thank you for sharing this Denise. I have some understanding of the journey you’ve been and I commend you for the work you’ve put in to reclaim yourself. I’ve walked a similar path of domestic abuse along with extreme coercive control, leaving the marriage after twenty two years. I have also received a diagnosis of CPTSD. While my husband, after my departure, never manipulated our three children, who were in their early twenties and late teens, into thinking I was the “bad parent” I realised later that the youngsters had no idea of what my life had been like within the marriage and so they did carry some resentment around my leaving and breaking up the family unit. You say in your article that you are the only hope that your children have of reclaiming their real selves. I would respectfully disagree. Our children can be manipulated by a parent whose only agenda is to prove the other to be in the wrong. And they can choose to live with this belief for a long time. A mother who leaves, especially when the courts become involved in custodial arrangements, can give the children a message that their wants and needs mean nothing, which in turn is used by the husband to attack his wife. The love and care you showed your children when they were growing up in the family home with both parents will not ever be forgotten by them. And it is easier for children to be angry with the parent they feel safest expressing that anger. If they have to be with their father, who seemingly is so unloving that he is attempting to turn them away from you, then they may feel unable to openly disagree, while also carrying their resentment and unhappiness at the situation. I found, myself, during the thirty years that have elapsed since I left, that my sons have taken time to sort out their feelings about their parents. And I found, to my cost, that my attempting to explain my side of the marriage and reasons for leaving, caused them to feel as though I was loading them with a burden that wasn’t theirs to hold. I have learned that they have the intelligence and empathy to come to their own conclusions about both parents. The time I was able to spend with them as they grew into adolescence gave them the knowledge that they were loved. And that has helped them to show both love and understanding as they have grown. I know your youngsters will eventually be able to see through manipulation and uncaring and grow into adults who can make up their own minds about how to live. Really, like each of us, they are the only ones who can.

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