LWK | CPTSDfoundation.org https://cptsdfoundation.org The Foundation for Post-Traumatic Healing and Complex Trauma Research Wed, 06 Dec 2023 15:53:59 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 https://cptsdfoundation.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/cropped-Daily-Recovery-Support-Globe-iPad-Fav-32x32.png LWK | CPTSDfoundation.org https://cptsdfoundation.org 32 32 The Misdiagnosis and Ignorance of Complex PTSD https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/12/27/the-misdiagnosis-and-ignorance-of-complex-ptsd/ https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/12/27/the-misdiagnosis-and-ignorance-of-complex-ptsd/#comments Wed, 27 Dec 2023 10:47:28 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=250493 Misdiagnosis of CPTSD is common. The lack of knowledge and understanding of CPTSD is huge. Worst of all, the unwillingness to help and support, within our Healthcare Systems, is heartbreaking.

Misdiagnosis

Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) is frequently misdiagnosed as Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (EUPD), previously known as Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

CPTSD is kind of like a subset of PTSD but it looks quite different. Complex PTSD comes from long-term exposure to trauma and/or neglect; oftentimes it stems from childhood sexual, physical, and emotional abuse, neglect, or long-term trauma whereby escape would be seemingly impossible or too dangerous. We see CPTSD in survivors of long-term childhood abuse, human trafficking, refugees, or people that have experienced long-term domestic violence or intimate partner violence.

The chronic nature of the trauma and the inescapability of it, for whatever reason, be it age or risk to life, makes CPTSD quite different from PTSD which in contrast is far more episodic. PTSD is usually caused by trauma seen in combat, a car accident, or a natural disaster, it is one event as opposed to long-term, often years, of trauma building up incident by incident with no safe attachments and no escape in sight.

There’s a tremendous crossover between PTSD and CPTSD; flashbacks, night terrors, dissociation, fugue states, emotional dysregulation, and hypervigilance. There are core differences that mean behavioural patterns, cognitive thinking and rationale, relationship issues, and disturbances in the sense of self, present in a way that lessens the likelihood of CPTSD being ‘misdiagnosed’ as PTSD. Instead, CPTSD is often labeled as EUPD (previously BPD) and a myriad of other diagnoses such as panic disorder, depression, anxiety, etc.

EUPD (previously BPD) has a large overlap with CPTSD and it’s something the entire field of psychology struggles with. Particularly, here in the UK where CPTSD is basically unheard of, definitely by primary care services and oftentimes by secondary care services. It is simply not a diagnosis many clinicians are given much information about, only psychiatrists and trauma-specialised psychologists are ‘in the know’. This leaves the survivor feeling more alienated, further dissociated, self-blaming, and reinforces the fear of relationships.

EUPD is a fear-based Personality Disorder, it is led almost exclusively by a chronic fear of abandonment. This is something that you don’t see so much of in CPTSD survivors, there is some level of it in all of us, but with CPTSD it is more the fear of the relationship itself as opposed to abandonment. People who have CPTSD feel that relationships and interpersonal spaces are unsafe places to be.

EUPD (BPD) sufferers usually have an unstable sense of identity, almost as if they don’t know who they are. Whereas people with CPTSD have a distorted sense of self, viewing themselves as shameful, to blame, and effectively just a bad person. They know who they are, it’s simply a warped view induced by the trauma. The two views are very different.

EUPD (BPD) is a mental health condition with the highest rate of suicide, higher than depression, anxiety, PTSD, or any other illness. Suicidal ideation or gestures and self-harming behaviours are more congruent with EUPD. This is a tricky one though, as there is still a high risk in CPTSD clients due to the sheer level of trauma and distorted sense of self. Self-harming behaviours and suicidal intention is dangerous and more of a classic symptom of EUPD, but we can see it in CPTSD if the person has been retriggered or is going through new trauma.

We know that something EUPD and CPTSD have in common is early trauma. It is often the case that a person with EUPD has suffered childhood abuse or trauma however, not all have. Not every person out there in the world with EUPD has a history of significant, chronic, childhood trauma, EUPD can be hereditary. With Complex PTSD this is far, far more likely to be the case; there has to have been at least one period in their life where they have experienced long-term, chronic, repetitive, and inescapable trauma. Most often, though not exclusively, this trauma is experienced in early childhood and then follows them as a ‘blueprint’ as they go through life; leading CPTSD survivors to unintentionally fall into unsafe relationships, abusive marriages etc.

Ignorance

I write a fair bit about Complex PTSD. In part, this is because I do a fair amount go work for the CPTSD Foundation and I am a survivor myself. That being said, I have experienced firsthand that ignorance of the condition within our healthcare system both private and public.

The UK is not trained to deal with Complex trauma the professionals and clinicians are seemingly terrified to deal with it, likely because they feel they lack the training. We love calling ourselves ‘Trauma-informed’ and ‘Trauma led’, and yet there is such a gap in the understanding of what ‘trauma’ can actually look like.

When domestic abuse charities claim to be ‘Trauma informed’ and run programs, women’s refuges, man entire county hotlines for advice, yet none of the staff have even heard of CPTSD … there is a problem.

When band 8a Community Mental Health Nurses, decide to book a patient with CPTSD in for a session with two clinicians each week, simply as a deterrent to stop the patient from disclosing any trauma (because THEY feel unqualified to deal with it) … we have a problem.

When counsellors and psychotherapists have ‘Trauma’ on their bio but haven’t heard of CPTSD let alone completed any training/CPD on the subject, nor have they knowingly treated any patient with CPTSD … we have a problem.

GPs are not allowed to prescribe the type of medication required nor are they able to diagnose Complex PTSD, this has to be done by a psychiatrist and yet, GPs are not trained to recognise the signs of CPTSD. They haven’t heard of it, nor have the crisis teams or community mental health teams they refer to, so it goes untreated or worse, treated as depression, anxiety, panic attacks I.e the things a GP is allowed to diagnose and treat. Referrals are made for NHS counselling, but the NHS delivers CBT as an (almost) mandatory response and CBT simply is not the therapy to aid CPTSD.

‘Do no harm’ is what our Nurses and doctors swear to uphold; so it is understandable that when faced with Complex trauma and the symptoms it presents, they shrink away from the patient in fear of causing ‘more harm than good’. Counsellors and therapists preemptively worry themselves sick about transference, attachment issues, and possible complications around flashbacks or dissociation. Before the patient knows what is happening they have been referred to, as the professional cannot tell the difference between the terrifying *cluster B* that is EUPD/BPD and Complex PTSD. Heaven knows finding a therapist willing to try and treat EUPD is hard enough.

This fear of ‘doing more harm than good’ and effectively passing the buck, (the ‘buck’ being a trauma survivor!), is so incredibly ironic. People with CPTSD are afraid of the relationship space, they blame themselves for their trauma, and they view themselves as too much, too disgusting, too shameful, and quintessentially bad as humans. The way the healthcare field reacts, that ‘passing the buck’, does nothing but retraumatise and consolidate this distorted sense of self. The sad truth is that the system is set up in such a way, due to the lack of training and general understanding, that the ‘do no harm’ actively becomes ‘doing more harm than good’.

As a professional, clinician, front-line support worker, and educator … if you want to claim being ‘trauma-informed’ and ‘trauma led’ then you need to do the research and get a good grasp of CPTSD because it is all around us, unseen, unheard and untreated. The links below are excellent for much more in-depth knowledge.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otxAuHG9hKo&t=98s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44hqDT7NNHU&t=91s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cn_ccZn2cQ0
 
 
Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.
]]> https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/12/27/the-misdiagnosis-and-ignorance-of-complex-ptsd/feed/ 11 Self-Judgment & Mental Health https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/12/05/self-judgement-mental-health-2/ https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/12/05/self-judgement-mental-health-2/#respond Tue, 05 Dec 2023 10:41:53 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=250376

Taking time off when you need to be focusing on yourself

Burn-out is at an all-time high. Employers continue to make cutbacks and what was once a workload shared among four or five people, is now the job of one or two. Employees are expected to work early and rewarded when they are the last to leave. It is now a norm to work through lunch breaks; we have work mobiles so that we have access to our emails in the evenings and at weekends. Downtime is rare, if not completely non-existent, and this is what we are teaching the younger generations.

We live in constant fear that our jobs are not safe, and our KPIs continue to rise to match the continuous rise in the cost of … well, everything! Yet our pay stays the same. How many of you feel any of the below, honestly?

  • Sense of failure and self-doubt
  • Feeling helpless, trapped, and defeated
  • Detachment, feeling alone in the world
  • Loss of motivation
  • Increasingly cynical and negative outlook
  • Decreased satisfaction and sense of accomplishment
  • Headaches, migraines, skin problems or general lowered immune system
  • Lack of sleep, difficulty getting to sleep, insomnia
  • Irritability and mood swings
  • Difficulty concentrating and you’re less efficient
  • Running late when you never used to be or being forgetful

Even just three of these mean you are potentially suffering from ‘Burnout’. A certain amount of stress can be energising, an urgent deadline can sharpen your concentration and push you to keep on going. Too much stress, however, especially over long periods of time, has the opposite effect.

When we reach that burnt-out stage, usually with a tremendous amount of urging and validation from others, we might take some time off sick. Usually, it will come down to the GP signing you off sick for stress, depression, and/or anxiety. When we have been signed off, how many of us truly feel we have the ‘right’ to be at home, recouping? Personally, I know I don’t. Goodness, why do we feel the need to let it get to a ‘diagnosis’ stage before we act?!

I have taken time out to recoup before, and even I have felt so damn guilty about it, that I have gone back to work when I was in a terrible headspace. Instead of using the time my GP had validated I needed, I sat there terrified my handover wasn’t good enough or whether my clients were being taken good care of. What if I had made a mistake and someone else has to pick it up and deal with it? Would I even have a job to go back to?

I was signed off because I was stressed, but not being at work was making me more stressed! So incredibly counter-intuitive, is it not? I sat trying to unwind, but instead of actually succeeding at this, I was worrying incessantly about how my being off would affect my team, my clients, my students, and my standing with the boss. I’m a hard worker, known as a person who digs deep and shows real grit and resilience. Yet, instead of focusing on my health, I worried if this ‘spin’ would undo the good reputation I had built for myself over the last several years. Would I go back to work and be seen as a flakey or an unreliable team member?

It’s bananas. We are raised, taught, and shown that self-care is selfish and boundaries are not fair to other people. We are worked into the ground and told to keep grinding no matter the cost to our health or relationships. Taking time off for ourselves makes us an unreliable colleague, unfit to carry out the thousand and one duties of our role, one of those colleagues.

To hell with that!!

We have, on average, 4000 weeks on this planet as human beings. It’s time to look at utilising those 4000 weeks as best we can. We can’t do everything, nor should we waste time worrying about what may come around or what has already happened. Find your inner stillness and sit with it. Figure out what brings you joy, what empowers you, what fires you up with passion and gets you excited? Who do you want to be? What inspires you? How do you want to give back? Then start practicing that.

Stop resisting paying full attention to the way things are now because you wish they were going differently. Sit with your core self in that stillness, look at what is happening for NOW, and figure out what you want to do with the rest of those 4000 weeks.

100% none of the answers are going to be checking your emails or working in the evenings. The answers aren’t going to be about meeting ridonkulous KPIs or missing your lunch break for the 3rd time that particular week. Screw ‘expectations’. To hell with employers who won’t value you, promote you, or protect your well-being. If your workplace, the culture, and the duties are not serving your mental or physical health, then it’s time for a change.

However many weeks into this life you are, they are what they are. The good, bad, and the ugly. Those weeks have made you who you are today, but that doesn’t mean they have to define you if you don’t want them to. Who you were yesterday, your behavioural patterns, the you that showed up to face the day yesterday, does not have to be who you are today. If you don’t want to be burnt out, running yourself ragged to meet deadlines, breaking yourself, and sacrificing your health for a job that doesn’t fill you full of joy and fulfillment … then show up tomorrow with a renewed sense of ‘this is what I want’ and if your employer doesn’t like it, then walk away. If you can’t do that, then take time out regularly until you can move on, and sure as shit do not feel guilty about putting in boundaries. If your workload cannot be done within your core hours then your workload is too high. People who get angry when you put in boundaries are always the people who benefit from violating your boundaries.

Don’t give anyone or anything that does not make you happy, bring you fulfillment, excite, or inspire you any of your precious time on this earth. You matter. Your wants matter. Your life, what you need, your happiness matters. Fight for all of them.

 

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

 

]]> https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/12/05/self-judgement-mental-health-2/feed/ 0 Self Judgement & Mental Health: Taking Time Off When You Need To Focus On You! https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/11/08/self-judgement-mental-health-taking-time-off-when-you-need-to-focus-on-you/ https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/11/08/self-judgement-mental-health-taking-time-off-when-you-need-to-focus-on-you/#respond Wed, 08 Nov 2023 11:19:32 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=250286

Burnout is at an all-time high. Employers continue to make cutbacks and what was once a workload shared among 4 or 5 people, is now the job of 1. Employees are expected to work early and are rewarded when they are the last to leave. It is now a norm to work through lunch breaks. Since we have work mobiles, we have access to our emails in the evenings and on weekends. Downtime is rare, if not completely non-existent, and the overscheduled younger generations are learning the expectations early on in their lives.

We live in constant fear that our jobs are not safe, and our Key Performance Indicators (KPIs) continue to rise to match the continuous rise in the cost of … well everything! Yet our pay stays the same. How many of you feel any of the below, honestly?

  • Sense of failure and self-doubt
  • Feeling helpless, trapped, and defeated
  • Detachment, feeling alone in the world
  • Loss of motivation
  • Increasingly cynical and negative outlook
  • Decreased satisfaction and sense of accomplishment
  • Headaches, migraines, skin problems or general lowered immune system
  • Lack of sleep, difficulty getting to sleep, insomnia
  • Irritability and mood swings
  • Difficulty concentrating and a reduction in efficiency
  • Running late when you never used to or being forgetful

Even just three of these mean you are potentially suffering from burnout. A certain amount of stress can be energising, an urgent deadline can sharpen your concentration and push you to keep on going. Too much stress, however, especially over long periods of time, has the opposite effect.

When we reach that burnt-out stage, usually with a tremendous amount of urging and validation from others, we might take some time off sick. Usually, it will come down to the GP signing you off sick for stress, depression, and/or anxiety. When we have been signed off, how many of us truly feel we have the right to be at home recouping? Personally, I know I don’t. Goodness, why do we feel the need to let it get to a diagnosis stage before we act?!

I have taken time out to recoup before, and I have felt so damn guilty about it that I have gone back to work when I was in a terrible headspace. Instead of using the time my GP had validated I needed, I sat there terrified my handover wasn’t good enough or whether my clients were being taken good care of. What if I had made a mistake and someone else has to pick it up and deal with it? Would I even have a job to go back to?

I was signed off because I was stressed, but not being at work was making me more stressed! So incredibly counter-intuitive is it not? I sat trying to unwind, but instead of actually succeeding at this, I was worrying incessantly about how my being off would affect my team, my clients, my students, and my standing with the boss. I’m a hard worker, known as a person who digs deep and shows real grit and resilience. Yet, instead of focusing on my health, I worried if this spin would undo the good reputation I had built for myself over the last several years. Would I go back to work and be seen as a flakey or an unreliable team member?

It’s bananas. We are raised, taught, and shown that self-care is selfish and boundaries are not fair to other people. We are worked into the ground and told to keep grinding no matter the cost to our health or relationships. Taking time off for ourselves makes us an unreliable colleague, unfit to carry out the thousand and one duties of our role, one of those colleagues.

To Hell With That

We have, on average, 4000 weeks on this planet as human beings. It’s time to look at utilising those 4000 weeks as best we can. We can’t do everything, nor should we waste time worrying about what may come around or what has already happened. Find your inner stillness and sit with it. Figure out what brings you joy, what empowers you, what fires you up with passion, and gets you excited. Who do you want to be? What inspires you? How do you want to give back? Then start practicing that.

Stop resisting paying full attention to the way things are now because you wish they were going differently

Stop resisting paying full attention to the way things are now because you wish they were going differently. Sit with your core self in that stillness, look at what is happening for NOW, and figure out what you want to do with the rest of those 4,000 weeks.

Absolutely none of the answers are going to be checking your emails or working in the evenings. The answers aren’t going to be about meeting ridonkulous KPIs or missing your lunch break for the 3rd time that particular week. Screw so-called expectations. To hell with employers who won’t value you, promote you, or protect your well-being. If your workplace, the culture, and the duties are not serving your mental or physical health, then it’s time for a change.

However many weeks into this life you are, they are what they are. The good, bad, and the ugly. Those weeks have made you who are today, but that doesn’t mean they have to define you if you don’t want them to. Who you were yesterday, your behavioural patterns, the you that showed up to face the day yesterday, does not have to be who you are today. If you don’t want to be burnt out, running yourself ragged to meet deadlines, breaking yourself, and sacrificing your health for a job that doesn’t fill you full of joy and fulfillment … then show up tomorrow with a renewed sense of “this is what I want” and if your employer doesn’t like it, then walk away. If you can’t do that, then take time out regularly until you can move on, and sure as shit do not feel guilty about putting in boundaries. If your workload cannot be done within your core hours then your workload is too high. People who get angry when you put in boundaries are always the people who benefit from violating your boundaries.

Don’t give anyone or anything that does not make you happy, bring you fulfillment, excite, or inspire you any of your precious time on this earth.

You matter. Your wants matter. Your life, what you need, your happiness matter. Fight for it. 

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

]]> https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/11/08/self-judgement-mental-health-taking-time-off-when-you-need-to-focus-on-you/feed/ 0 Analysis Paralysis https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/10/03/analysis-paralysis/ https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/10/03/analysis-paralysis/#respond Tue, 03 Oct 2023 09:52:11 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=249786

Overthinking and getting stuck inside your own head.

Do you find yourself ruminating on ruminations? Reflecting on reflections until you are stood in a hall of mirrors unable to tell what your original thought was? Staring at the ceiling gone midnight, pondering everything you have said & done, and thinking about everything that you may say or do in the future?

A lot of people underestimate how much overthinking can cause serious stress and negative impacts on mental and physical health.

I was (frequently still am) an overachieving over-thinker, on overdrive doing overtime in overthinking. So far removed from my present surroundings that I couldn’t engage in simple conversation. I’m not exaggerating, my wife will attest to the fact that, very genuinely she will ask a question and I simply disappear into my own head, effectively not giving her an answer. I get so caught up in ‘what ifs’, evaluating each individual perspective I can think of, protecting people’s feelings, and figuring out how to word a response … I end up not answering at all and shutting down.

Now, I have done a lot of work in therapy as well as my own studies in psychology and Counselling with regard to this. I know where my own lack of self-confidence and sense of self comes from and it is true that as we go through life, traumas, abusive relationships, manipulation, and gaslighting can and will rock that self-confidence and set you back.

So what actually causes someone to be more prone to overthinking?

  • If parents are overprotective and mollycoddle their child, the child’s belief in their own original thoughts is undermined as is their confidence in trying new things. In essence, they do not learn to build resilience.
  • Ironically, if the parents go too far in the opposite direction and do not mirror their children; if the child is met with criticism and made to to feel inadequate, the child will also learn to mistrust themselves.
  • Taking that a step further, if a child has to second guess their parents not only will they have developed an anxious attachment style, they won’t have confidence in themselves and their opinions or thoughts. The feeling of walking on eggshells, trying to figure out what to say so as to keep the child out of trouble, avoid punishment, and prevent humiliation.

It’s not just due to childhood experiences that can cause ‘overthinking’ though. Trauma in adult life can also have similar effects.

  • Domestic Abuse
  • Narcissistic Abuse
  • Natural Disasters, combat, or any other PTSD-invoking event.
  • Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalised Anxiety Disorder, or similar Mental Health Disorders.
  • High-stress levels (this can be due to work, home life, family dynamics etc.)
  • Studies have shown that the higher IQ and EQ a person has, the higher the likelihood of ‘overthinking’ the person may suffer.

So how do we stop overthinking everything?

Well … it may sound obvious and silly, but getting out of our own heads and grounded firmly in reality. It sounds simple but so few of us are able to do it. Whether it is exercise, arts and crafts, music, or reading. Whatever your ‘spark’ is and wherever you find your inner rhythm, that is what you need to do to get yourself out of the depths of your thoughts.

Utilise your senses to help you stay embodied. Truly see what’s infant of your eyes, the colours, how the light catches it, really look at the details of what is around you. Scented candles, incense burners, perfume, the smell of cooking or baking. Touch what is around you; pet your dog, feel the fluffy jumper, hold your loved one’s hand and feel the warmth of their skin, run yourself a hot bath. Cook (or buy – no judgment) your favourite foods or even make yourself a decent brew.

People bleed on and on about mindfulness (without really explaining what it is!). In essence, recognise that your thoughts are just that, thoughts. Your thoughts are not facts. Acknowledging this as your thoughts happen can very genuinely slow down your thinking machine and take some of the sting out of them. When thoughts are just that, abstract concepts and not framed as reality it is far easier to acknowledge them and then allow them to pass.

Obviously, I am always going to advocate for speaking to a humanistic counsellor to help unpick your thinking patterns, explore who you are, where you fit in your own world, etc.

Allow yourself ‘Allowed time’ for thinking, maybe an hour in the late afternoon. If thoughts come to you throughout the day that you know are going to cause the spiral of overthinking, jot them down somewhere for you to come back to during this allowed time dedicated to thinking. Even better, write them down in a journal, this can be a good form of ’emotional dumping’ i.e dumping everything down onto a page. You can keep or delete/bin this page if needed or you can keep it to help you identify patterns in behaviour.

The hardest one of all is to learn how to trust your gut. You’ll likely have drowned out your inner voice, you may not even remember what it sounds like or developed one at all. Practice intuition, there are a plethora of cards, exercises, and workbooks on it. It takes time to tune in to your body and your mind’s needs and trust your gut. But taking any step is better than the stasis that occurs when stuck inside your intertwining thoughts.

Hopefully, this might help you to stop overthinking and start acting with informed choices.

Keep on fighting the good fight and take care of yourselves.

 

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

]]> https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/10/03/analysis-paralysis/feed/ 0 Self-Judgement & Mental Health https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/09/27/self-judgement-mental-health/ https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/09/27/self-judgement-mental-health/#respond Wed, 27 Sep 2023 09:30:39 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=249792

Taking time off when you need to be focusing on yourself.

Burnout is at an all-time high. Employers continue to make cutbacks and what was once a workload shared among 4 or 5 people, is now the job of 1. Employees are expected to work early and rewarded when they are the last to leave. It is now a norm to work through lunch breaks; we have work mobiles so we have access to our emails in the evenings and at weekends. Downtime is rare, if not completely non-existent, and this is what we are teaching the younger generations. We are teaching them that their time is not their own, they are not free; their time and life are owned and duty bound to line the pockets of another.

We live in constant fear that our jobs are not safe, and our KPIs continue to rise to match the continuous rise in the cost of … well everything! Yet our pay stays the same. How many of you feel any of the below, honestly?

  • Sense of failure and self-doubt, lack of confidence
  • Feeling helpless, trapped, and defeated
  • Detachment, feeling alone in the world
  • Loss of motivation
  • Increasingly cynical and negative outlook
  • Decreased satisfaction and sense of accomplishment
  • Headaches, migraines, skin problems or general lowered immune system
  • Lack of sleep, difficulty getting to sleep, insomnia
  • Irritability and mood swings
  • Difficulty concentrating and being less efficient
  • Running late when you never used to be or being forgetful

Even three of these mean you are potentially suffering from burnout. A certain amount of stress can be energizing. For example, an urgent deadline can sharpen your concentration and push you to keep on going. Too much stress, however, especially over long periods of time, has the opposite effect.

When we reach that burnt-out stage, usually with a tremendous amount of urging and validation from others we might take some time off because we are sick. Usually, it will come down to the GP signing you off sick for stress, depression, and/or anxiety. When we have been signed off, how many of us truly feel we have the ‘right’ to be at home, recouping? Personally, I know I don’t. Goodness, why do we feel the need to let it get to a ‘diagnosis’ stage before we act?!

I have taken time off to recoup before and I have felt so damn guilty about it, that I have gone back to work when I was in a terrible headspace. Instead of using the time my GP had validated I needed, I sat there terrified my handover wasn’t good enough or whether my clients were being taken good care of. What if I had made a mistake and someone else has to pick it up and deal with it? Would I even have a job to go back to?

I was signed off because I was stressed, but not being at work, was making me more stressed! So incredibly counter-intuitive is it not? I sat trying to unwind, but instead of actually succeeding at this, I was worrying incessantly about how my being off would affect my team, my clients, my students, and my standing with the boss. I’m a hard worker, known as a person who digs deep and shows grit and resilience. Yet, instead of focusing on my health, I worried if this ‘spin’ would undo the good reputation I had built for myself over the last several years. Would I go back to work and be seen as a flakey or even an unreliable team member?

It’s bananas. We are raised, taught, and shown that self-care is selfish and boundaries are not fair to other people. We are worked into the ground and told to keep grinding no matter the cost to our health or relationships. Taking time off for ourselves makes us an unreliable colleague, unfit to carry out the thousand and one duties of our role, one of those colleagues.

To hell with that!

It’s a lesson I learned the hard way. All of us are replaceable in a work setting; none of us are irreplaceable. Family, our own mental health and well-being, friends, our own life, these things are irreplaceable. If we let our mental health suffer too much and for too long, there’s a real possibility of doing ourselves some very deep harm psychologically.

We don’t need a piece of paper, signed by a GP that most people never get to actually see in person. We aren’t in school, college, or university; we don’t need a letter from parents to explain why we can’t take part in physical education or to excuse us for a dentist appointment. If we’re burning too bright and our stress levels are through the roof, take time off. I know it’s hard, but don’t judge yourself for all the things you “should” be doing. “To-do” lists are a self-fulfilling prophecy. The point of them is to write down action points to consider and take next – it’s never going to be blank for long (if ever!).

The Maori tribes in New Zealand have one of the highest rates of work-life balance and life satisfaction. They prioritise family, connectedness, culture, and health. The practice of the concept of Whanaungatanga within these tribes is exceptionally healing and certainly encourages positive, healthy attachments, alongside the promotion of self-empowerment. Yet on the other side of the globe, we have learned to internalise self-hate, guilt, anxiety, and a whole host of unhealthy concepts, and we suffer for it.

In the UK we are supposed to be better than in previous years at accepting “mental health.” Why then, do we still see it as a weakness to ask for help? Why is there still a stigma in attending therapy, depending on a network of good friends and family? Why do we isolate ourselves within our own family systems? Why is it “better” to hide our difficulties as opposed to sharing them?

Having a problem with your mental health is no different from having a problem with your physical health. Gallstones, heart attack, broken bone. They are no different from having a panic attack, a deepening depression, or a fugue state. Neither is more important than the other, all are deserving of time off work and all require assistance from more than one person. A GP, a nurse, a radiologist, a specialist; a counselor, a psychotherapist, your family, friends? None of these deserves a response of shame or guilt, not the physical and not the psychological. Time is required for both to heal. You wouldn’t keep walking on a broken leg, right?

So why keep working with a broken central-nervous-system?

 

 

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

]]> https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/09/27/self-judgement-mental-health/feed/ 0 CPTSD: A Day in the Life https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/09/08/cptsd-a-day-in-the-life/ https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/09/08/cptsd-a-day-in-the-life/#comments Fri, 08 Sep 2023 09:26:53 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=249767

Many people in the UK and other countries have little understanding of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) outside of veterans. Even more, people have absolutely no knowledge of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) A.K.A Complex Trauma. Those who have heard of it, cannot get their head around what it is like to suffer from it. It is a hidden disability, like so many other things. But it is also a super ‘specialist’ area if the sufferer hasn’t been to war – those who have heard of it are quick to dismiss it, forget about it, or not consider it. So I’d like to give you a day in the life of a C-PTSD Sufferer.

I wake up drenched in cold sweat, just like yesterday and likely tomorrow. Today I am in bed, the right way up and everything which, unfortunately is not always the case. Sometimes I remember the bad dreams and they play inside my head like a bad movie on repeat. Other times I don’t remember the dreams at all and am instead, engulfed head to toe in a paralysed state of fear. There’s a chance my bladder will give way and I’ll wet the bed before I can convince myself to move. It’s happened many times over the years and it brings so much shame. Rationally I am aware that my body has entered ‘Freeze’ mode following a night terror and my central nervous system cannot tell the difference between back then, where the trauma happened, or the here and now.

It’s loud. Too loud. I can hear people downstairs sorting breakfast as if they were right next to me, each noise makes me jump and I’m surprised I can hear anything at all over my own racing heartbeat. I shut myself in the bathroom and breathe a little slower, the door shutting out some of the noise. I step into the shower, the water scolding hot, and wash myself over and over again. If I lose concentration for even a second, I can hear the abuser; “you’ll never be clean”, “you’re a filthy whore”, “You’re unlovable, who would want to touch you.”

Who is this woman looking back at me?

I climb out, towel wrapped around myself, and stare into the mirror as I brush my teeth hard. Who is this woman looking back at me? What am I doing here? I don’t even recognise myself and the cloak of shame that settles around my shoulders makes me turn away, unable to meet my own reflection anymore.

I sit on the bed and start to panic. I feel nauseous, my heart is racing, and my tongue has cemented itself to the roof of my mouth. A small part of my consciousness reminds me to count my breathing, ball up my left hand, and lower my tongue. No one is going to hurt me here. No one is going to see me this way. I just need to get dressed and I’ll feel better. Mantras relay themselves in my head as I move on autopilot to put on the most baggy, unflattering clothes I can find. I don’t want to draw attention to myself, I don’t want to appear pretty or alluring or in any way that might elicit comments or simple acknowledgment. I want to be invisible.

Downstairs it so loud. People talking, the TV on way too loud, plates and cutlery, pots and pans in the kitchen. The dog is winding herself around my legs demanding attention, someone somewhere is asking what I have planned for the day. Another person is clearly in a bad mood, tired, ratty, and short-fused. I clock that energy almost immediately and instantly I am awash with desperation. I dare not open my mouth in case I say the wrong thing and cause a full-scale argument. The news is on, fuelling everyone’s unhappiness and angst. Inside I want to cry, want to run as fast and as far as I can. I want to disappear into thin air. The longer I stay in this negative tidal wave of energy and emotions, the more triggered I become. I can’t concentrate, can’t think through the overwhelming emotions threatening to suffocate me.

I grab my lunch from the fridge, kiss my wife goodbye, and tell her I love her, mustering up the little strength I have left to offer her a smile and then bolt through the door. Shutting my car door again, I can breathe. I can release all of the tension I have absorbed that morning throughout my drive into work, soft music playing, and giving 100% of my attention to being ‘in the moment’ as opposed to where my mind takes me back to. I feel a bit better, some relief, I am in control of the car, I am in control of my space and I feel little threat. It’s just me, the M27, and my lovely little car.

I get to work and am instantly transported back to my own childhood. Angry mothers who shout and are frustrated at the justice system or their abusers. I’m triggered over and again, by visual flashbacks, emotional flashbacks, and auditory flashbacks. I relive my own abuse, neglect, fear, harm, and pain on repeat. I nip to the toilet and submerge my face in cold water several times a day in an attempt to circumvent a full-blown flashback. I nip out to have a vape when my abusers are the loudest voice in my head, try to shut them up, argue with them, and tell them I am not disgusting. I try and tell those voices I am worthy of love. I am strong. I am better than them. The abuse does not define me. I am not useless. Sometimes they quieten, other times they grow stronger and my attempts simply cannot match their hatred of me. I return back inside, unable to speak or meet my colleague’s eyes.

I can feel hands on my skin, invisible hands, repeating what happened to me all those years ago. I flinch and I itch, I want to scream for them to get off me but I know it’s just my mind playing tricks. I don’t want to look like a crazy person hallucinating. I get no real work done, I can’t concentrate on anything. Every noise startles me and causes me to hit the ceiling, a certain smell can send me into a spiral, and people touching me – even by mistake, make me tense up and stand rooted to the spot. I have completely sober blackouts and don’t remember seeing people, having conversations with people, or performing certain tasks. It’s such a pain to try and manage my own workload let alone a social life; if I wasn’t so hot on Gantt charts and logging things into the system, I would be lost on a daily basis. As it is, if my manager wants to speak with me I panic as though I am going to lose my job at any moment and no longer be able to support my wife and our little family.

I sometimes eat, but generally not. Feeling full is a trigger and I usually end up losing it to the downstairs staff toilet anyway. Eating reminds me of too many torturous memories and too much trauma.

It feels as though I have physically run a marathon and emotionally

When finally the day is over, I get back in my car exhausted. It feels as though I have physically run a marathon and emotionally I have been under extreme duress for 9 hours straight. Effectively since the moment I woke up, my mind has been held captive by terrorists invading and torturing my mind and my body. I am not being hyperbolic here. In somatic flashbacks or full flashbacks, sufferers relive the memory completely, and all of their senses are engaged. These types of flashbacks are horrendous because I am genuinely reliving traumatic experiences, it hurts at that moment, as much as it did when it originally happened, I am as terrified, I can see the abuser, hear them, smell them, and feel them. The rest of the world melts away and I am back to being a young person as if no time has passed at all.

I drive home and each mile closer to the house I get, the more tension coils in my stomach. I know that when I get home, I am going to have to interact with people that know me behind the facade, to varying degrees. I know I am going to be pressured, shamed, or guilted to eat dinner because they care for me and want to ensure I stay fed. By the time I have actually pulled up outside the house, I am a ball of shaking, panicking stress.

People are tired after work. They are done with the day, frustrated at colleagues, had a generally bad or stressful day, and, like most healthy humans they diffuse their stress in their safe place, home. However, those of us with Complex Trauma, soak up all of that stress, anger, and frustration and internalise it. Empathetic to a detriment, it is unbearable being in the same room as more than one person (and the dog) for longer than about 5 minutes. There are too many emotions, undercurrents, passive-aggressive behaviours, and completely normal behaviours, that all trigger extreme reactions within me that are hard to compress. It’s both a sensory and an emotional overload. I concentrate as hard as I can to shut it all out but if I go too far, I’ll shut down and dissociate for an unknown amount of time. That balance is like finding a needle in a haystack. A haystack made of other needles.

By the time I eventually fall into bed and into the arms of my loving, compassionate wife I am beyond exhausted. I want to cry, have her hold me, and tell me that none of it was my fault. I want her to love me into a normal existence where I can believe her words. I toss and turn, gaining an average of 5 hours of broken sleep. With too many bad dreams, and occasional sleepwalking, it’s certainly not a restful night. And then the alarm goes off at 6 am and we rinse and repeat.

***

It’s important to remember that everyone who has CPTSD will have different traumas, different triggers, coping mechanisms, and burn out levels.

What is true for me, may not be the experience of someone else with the same disorder. The best thing to do … is ask. Ask and then actively listen. Listen with the intention to really hear them and learn don’t listen with the need to respond.

Namaste Friends ???? ☮️

 

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

]]> https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/09/08/cptsd-a-day-in-the-life/feed/ 1 Therapists: Downplaying Trauma Perception Can Be Harmful https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/08/11/therapists-downplaying-trauma-perception-can-be-harmful/ https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/08/11/therapists-downplaying-trauma-perception-can-be-harmful/#respond Fri, 11 Aug 2023 09:43:23 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=249412

***TRIGGER WARNING: The following post discusses sensitive topics, including sexual trauma.***

 

Downplaying CPTSD

It’s not a comfortable feeling knowing that as clinicians we get things wrong. It is inevitable that we do – to err is human. We learn to try to forgive ourselves and encourage our clients to talk the mistake through with us. The successful practitioners amongst us will use the situation, if the client is willing and in the correct mindset, to further understand our client and deepen the therapeutic alliance.

When it comes to clients that have Complex Trauma, CPTSD, or PTSD as a result of suffering horrific abuse, domestic violence, gun crime, rape, war, or sex trafficking, we often make one continuous, ultimately damaging error. I know I have made the error, and I also know I have been on the receiving end of that error. Honestly, I don’t know which is worse.

Judith Herman puts it so succinctly in her book Trauma and Recovery. Essentially, she says that — as therapists, counselors, shrinks, whatever — we have the urge to downplay the power of the perpetrator, to make it less. We try to guide our clients to feel that they can gain control of their life, their recovery, and their pain. We try to guide them to feeling (hopefully) that their abuser no longer holds control or power. In the present, the client has control and power.

“I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.” — Poet William Ernest Henley, Inviticus (1875)

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is pexels-photo-12437150.jpeg

The truth of the matter is that there are dangerous, nasty, and incredibly evil people in this world. We know this to be true better than most. The depths and levels to which human beings are willing to betray, inflict pain upon, and terrorise other human beings often go so far as to include those that are deserving of unconditional love.

We want to challenge our client’s perception of the person who has caused great harm, the perpetrator. Usually because our clients

  • self-blame, they may even self-harm as a way of punishment.
  • have an overactive sense of responsibility.
  • self-criticise.
  • exhibit chronic shame and guilt.
  • try to protect their perpetrator.
  • feel some kind of empathy for their abusers.
  • intellectualise their abuser’s behaviour.
  • suffer severe survivor’s guilt.

The list goes on and on. Abuse damages children and their subsequent attachment style as well as their ability to navigate and form relationships as adults. We all know the amount of harm and ramifications these adult children can suffer.

The thing is that the overwhelming fear in your client is not always a childhood mindset and feelings they simply haven’t dealt with or gotten over.

The seemingly excessive fear is sometimes fully grounded in reality.

While working with abuse survivors whose family members are in organised crime, women who may have suffered trans-generational trauma, women in the sex trade, women in South Africa who are terrified of being held at gunpoint when at a stop sign, I can’t tell any of these survivors that they are safe now. Maybe they are. But … maybe they aren’t.

I spoke with a nurse in Nigeria, a kind, compassionate woman. I was desperate to relocate her and find her a job within the NHS before I left International Recruitment as a career. She had been held at gunpoint six times, four of which were in front of her teenage daughter, and three had progressed from robbery into sexual assault or rape. When she spoke to me about her fears — that she did not want to be held at gunpoint again, that she did not want herself or her daughter to be sexually assaulted or raped — I couldn’t tell her she’d be safe.

While it is true that these crimes are statistically less likely in the UK than in other countries around the world, we can’t be fooled into thinking that such terrible occurrences do not occur in the UK. Incestuous family dynamics, toxic cults, and systematic abuse do appear on repeat here. In fact, they happen…every day.

We need to listen more effectively. As clinicians, we need to learn to sit with the fact that our client’s extreme fear could be wholly warranted. We need to understand that the instability could very well be a truthful representation of reality, not an overreaction in the client.

Our clients may not be able to challenge or change their perspective because their vision is 20:20, clear and true. Ours is the perception that requires readjusting, and we can’t shy away from making this change.

 

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

]]> https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/08/11/therapists-downplaying-trauma-perception-can-be-harmful/feed/ 0 Anxiety – The Other Side https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/08/01/anxiety-the-other-side/ https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/08/01/anxiety-the-other-side/#respond Tue, 01 Aug 2023 09:50:54 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=249254

High-functioning Anxiety and Why It Gets Missed So Often, Especially in the Workplace.

High-functioning anxiety can be a royal pain in the posterior. You experience the usual symptoms:

  • Excessive worrying
  • Sense of impending doom
  • Exhaustion
  • Insomnia
  • Social withdrawal
  • Loss of appetite
  • Impatience, irritability, and angry outbursts
  • A horrendous fear of failure, which leads to …
  • Procrastination and,
  • Perfectionism.

Amongst other symptoms that are more physiological, such as headaches, increased heart rate, panic attacks, and abdominal pains

The Anxiety Beast and Survival, the Disguised Beast

What so many professionals forget to draw attention to is the other side of the anxiety beast. Those of us who do suffer from anxiety — 9 out of 10 of us, according to my research — will not allow ourselves to show the above symptoms. We suffer from a completely different side of anxiety, which makes the condition almost undetectable.

  • Appearing calm
  • Organised
  • Hard-working
  • Meeting all deadlines
  • Proactive
  • High-achieving
  • Sociable

Get ready for work in an exhausted and sleep-deprived state.

Many people might ask, “Well, how can you suffer and be calm at the same time?” And here’s where we get to dig a little deeper psychologically. You can spend all night wide awake, worrying about everything from health concerns to the meaningfulness of your existence, and get ready for work in an exhausted and sleep-deprived state. You’ll procrastinate too, leaving at the very last possible second and then pump yourself full of caffeine, nicotine, whatever your poison, before you eventually do get to work.

The worrying about work, leaving the house, the knowledge you will have to be around other people, and your sense of impending doom is overridden by your fear of failure. That fear makes you show up to work.

The fear of failure will also make you work ten times the amount your colleagues do. You will push yourself to be the best, have the best KPIs, meet all of your deadlines, and produce exceptional quality work. It can push you to socialise even, having a quick chat with the boss or other members of the team.

This phenomenon is a survival tactic. Much like a bird of prey who will not willingly allow another bird to see the back of its neck, you see your anxiety as your vulnerability. For those who suffer in silence in this way, our survival mode leads us to hide our anxiety. We work doubly hard to ensure nobody else, sometimes not even ourselves, recognise the signs. We view it as a weakness, and so we reshape some of that nervous energy and channel it into covering up that weakness by being as high functioning as possible.

It’s hard having a mental illness when you’re high
functioning. It’s hard having a mental illness anyway,
but when you’re high functioning it’s like people believe
you even less. Just because you work, leave the house,
and make money doesn’t mean you aren’t suffering.

— Hattie Gladwell

 

 

So, remember that what you see on the outside is not always what is true for an individual on the inside. Be mindful and try to recognise BOTH sides of anxiety.

 

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

]]> https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/08/01/anxiety-the-other-side/feed/ 0 High-functioning Anxiety and Why it’s Missed So Often https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/05/24/high-functioning-anxiety-and-why-its-missed-so-often/ https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/05/24/high-functioning-anxiety-and-why-its-missed-so-often/#respond Wed, 24 May 2023 10:10:42 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=248259 High-functioning anxiety can be a royal pain in the posterior. You experience the usual symptoms:

  • Excessive worrying
  • Sense of impending doom
  • Exhaustion
  • Insomnia
  • Social withdrawal
  • Loss of appetite
  • Impatience, irritability, and angry outbursts
  • A horrendous fear of failure, which leads to …
  • Procrastination and,
  • Perfectionism.

Amongst other symptoms that are more physiological i.e. Headaches, increased heart rate, panic attacks, and abdominal pains.

The Disguised Beast: Survival

What so many professionals forget to draw attention to, is the other side of the Anxiety Beast. Those of us who do suffer from Anxiety 9/10 will not allow ourselves to show the above symptoms. We suffer from a completely different side to Anxiety which makes the conditional almost undetectable.

  • Appearing calm
  • Organised
  • Hard-working
  • Meeting all deadlines
  • Proactive
  • High achieving
  • Sociable

Many people might this, well how can you suffer both? And here’s where we get to dig a little deeper psychologically. 100% You can Spend all night wide awake, worrying about everything from COVID to the meaningfulness of your existence, and get ready for work in an exhausted and sleep-deprived state. You’ll procrastinate leaving to the very last possible second and then pump yourself full of caffeine, nicotine, whatever your poison, when you eventually do get to work.

The worrying about work, leaving the house, the knowledge you will have to be around other people, and your sense of impending doom is overridden by your fear of failure. That fear, means you show up to work.

The fear of failure will also be the common driver in making you work 10x the amount your colleagues do. You will push yourself to be the best, have the best KPIs, meet all of your deadlines, and produce exceptional quality work. It can push you to socialise even, having a quick chat with the boss or other members of the team.

This phenomenon is a survival tactic. Much like a bird of Prey will not willingly allow you or another bird to see the back of their neck, our anxiety is our vulnerability. So our survival mode means we hide it, we work doubly hard to ensure nobody else, sometimes not even ourselves, recognise the signs. We view it as a weakness, and so we reshape some of that nervous energy and channel it into covering up that weakness by being as high functioning as we can.

It’s hard having a mental illness when you’re highfunctioning. It’s hard having a mental illness anyway,but when you’re high functioning it’s like people believeyou even less. Just because you work, leave the houseand make money doesn’t mean you aren’t suffering.
-Hattie Gladwell

Remember what you see is not always what is true for an individual on the inside. Be mindful and try to recognise BOTH sides of anxiety.

 

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

]]> https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/05/24/high-functioning-anxiety-and-why-its-missed-so-often/feed/ 0 What is Dissociative Fugue Disorder and How Does it Link to Complex PTSD? https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/04/03/what-is-dissociative-fugue-disorder-and-how-does-it-link-to-complex-ptsd/ https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/04/03/what-is-dissociative-fugue-disorder-and-how-does-it-link-to-complex-ptsd/#comments Mon, 03 Apr 2023 11:54:18 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=247027  

A fugue state is a temporary state where a person has memory loss (amnesia) and can end up in an unexpected place with no memory of how they got there. They may appear confused about who they are, and where they are going and in some cases may not remember anything from their life before this fugue state occurs. 

Dissociation is a ‘splitting of the self’, as though a part of a person gets cut off and pushed to the side. It is almost always a Trauma response and a ‘Protective Trauma response’ at that. The brain is exceptionally clever at protecting our sense of self and so, if a trauma occurs that would be too destabilizing for a person to remember, the brain dissociates. This is exceptionally common for sufferers of Complex PTSD, though there is a wide range of phenomena when it comes to dissociation.

Imagine dissociation is on a continuum, at one end you have the ‘auto-pilot’ drive to work, and way at the other end of the spectrum you have DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder AKA Multiple Personality Disorder). There are so many variations and levels of dissociation in between. Some people may experience the feeling of ‘looking at their life from the outside in’, others may feel as though they are moving in slow motion.

You have Depersonalisation and Derealisation on that scale. Derealisation is where you feel the world around is unreal, as though you are in the Matrix except, like the main character, you are the only one awake. Depersonalization is where you have the feeling of being outside yourself and observing your actions, feelings, or thoughts from a distance; it’s described as more of an ‘out of body experience’.

Dissociation is, in essence, a detachment from the self due to high stress and it is prevalent within CPTSD.

Dissociative amnesia is when a person simply cannot remember things. Whether that is certain parts of their life, their name, the trauma they have endured, or a specific day. It’s as though someone has hijacked their brain for a time, again it’s a protective inter-psychic coping mechanism. Again, unfortunately, this is also widespread among those who suffer from CPTSD.

According to professionals, Dissociative Fugue is not usually associated with a singular trauma (PTSD), it is almost universally synced with Complex Trauma and a reaction to a triggering event. It’s an extreme response and extraordinarily rare, so rare that most Mental Health professionals have never even consulted on a case.

If you are losing time, more so than you may normally with the ‘normative’ dissociation and you are finding yourself in random places it is worth discussing DFD with your General Practitioner, Psychiatrist, or a trusted person involved in your primary care.

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/dissociative-disorders/

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/dissociative-disorders/

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/22836-dissociative-fugue

 

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

]]> https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/04/03/what-is-dissociative-fugue-disorder-and-how-does-it-link-to-complex-ptsd/feed/ 2