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Guest Post Disclaimer: This guest post is for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing shared here, across CPTSDfoundation.org, any CPTSD Foundation website, our associated communities, or our Social Media accounts, is intended to substitute for or supersede the professional advice and direction of your medical or mental health providers. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the guest author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CPTSD Foundation. For further details, please review the following: Terms of Service, Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer

The post 8 Things Survivors Need to Stop Apologizing For | Part 1 | Needing Rest (video) appeared first on CPTSDfoundation.org.

I recently had the great joy of connecting with Robyn Vogel. She is the author of the book Come Back to Love: A Path to Healing and host of the syndicated radio show of the same name! She has spent more than two decades helping individuals and couples heal emotional wounds, release shame, and experience deeper, safer, more fulfilling love–within themselves and in relationship.

You all are in for such a treat! Her work carries warmth, depth, and grounded wisdom, and I’m so glad to be sharing her here with you.

————-

RACHEL: What inspired you to start writing about and exploring this topic?

ROBYN: Healing from the death of my mom when I was 10 years old, and then losing my dad early and my partner at 40, led me to dive deeply into what it takes to HEAL and love again….to have the courage. How to keep opening my heart, even if I feel afraid.


RACHEL: What key insights or lessons have you learned through your experiences with this subject?

ROBYN: One of the most important lessons I’ve learned through Come Back to Love is that love doesn’t disappear because we’re broken or “too much;” it fades when our nervous system learns that closeness isn’t safe. Most people I work with are intelligent, self-aware, and deeply caring. They understand their patterns, have done years of personal growth, and yet still find themselves repeating the same dynamics in relationships. What I’ve learned is that insight alone isn’t enough. Real change happens when we work with the body, the heart, and the protective strategies that once kept us safe.

Come Back to Love taught me, and continues to teach me, that healing isn’t about forcing openness or trying harder. It means slowing down, building internal safety, and gently renegotiating our relationship with vulnerability.

When we do that, love doesn’t feel like a risk–it feels like home.

RACHEL:  What challenges do you think people face when dealing with this topic, and how can they overcome them?

ROBYN: One of the biggest challenges people face around love and intimacy is the gap between what they know and what they can actually live.

Many people understand their patterns intellectually. They can name their attachment style, see how their childhood or past relationships shaped them, and recognize what isn’t working. And yet, in real moments of closeness, conflict, or vulnerability, their system reacts before their insight can help.

Another challenge is that self-protection often masquerades as independence, strength, or emotional maturity. People may appear “together” on the outside while feeling guarded, lonely, or disconnected on the inside–and they don’t always realize how much armor they’re carrying until they try to let someone in.

There’s also deep shame around needing love at all. Many people believe they should be over it, healed by now, or able “to do it alone.” That shame can keep them stuck, cycling between longing and withdrawal.

People struggle because most approaches to healing focus on fixing rather than creating the safety required for real emotional change. Without that safety, the heart stays cautious–and love remains always just out of reach.


RACHEL: Are there any common myths or misunderstandings about this topic that you’d like to address?

ROBYN: One of the most common misconceptions about love and healing is that awareness alone should be enough to change our patterns. We often believe that once we “know better,” we should automatically “do better.”

When old reactions or attachments resurface, we judge themselves as failing. In truth, insight doesn’t regulate the nervous system–safety, attunement, and lived relational experiences do.

Another myth is that the right partner will make everything feel easy. Many people assume that healthy love won’t activate old wounds. Yet authentic intimacy often brings our unhealed parts to the surface–not because something is wrong, but because something is ready to be healed.

There’s also a widespread belief that needing support means you’re weak or not healed enough. This keeps people trying to fix relational wounds alone, even though most attachment injuries were created in a relationship, and are healed most effectively in a relationship.

Many people assume healing means eliminating fear, pain, or protective behaviors. In my work, healing isn’t about getting rid of parts of yourself. It’s about understanding them, softening toward them, and allowing your truest, most grounded self to lead–so love becomes a place of safety rather than survival.


RACHEL: What resources, tools, or next steps would you recommend for readers who want to dive deeper into this topic?

ROBYN: I recommend resources that support both insight and lived integration–tools that help people not only understand their patterns, but gently shift them in real time.

At the core of this work is my book, Come Back to Love: A Path to Healing, which offers a clear, compassionate framework for understanding why we repeat certain relationship patterns and how to change them. The book guides readers through my Four Gates Approach, blending Internal Family Systems (IFS), nervous system attunement, somatic awareness, and heart-centered reflection. Each chapter includes practical exercises and questions that invite readers into an experiential healing process, not just an intellectual one. 

I also have my program Ready for Love, which takes people on a journey from fear, anxiety, and a lack of confidence in love to knowing they are lovable and have the confidence to choose a healthy relationship going forward! You can learn more about that here: https://www.comebacktolove.com/heal-your-heart

Use the coupon code RACHEL500 at checkout to get a special discount!

Beyond the book, I often encourage practices that support nervous system regulation and self-connection–such as journaling, mindful embodiment, breath awareness, and relational reflection. I also recommend working with trauma-informed practitioners or communities where healing can happen safely in a relationship.

Ultimately, the most powerful “tool” is learning how to listen to your inner world with curiosity and compassion. When your system feels safe, love becomes something you can choose and sustain, rather than chase or endure.


—

What I really take from Robyn’s work is this reminder that love is not just something we learn to understand--it’s something we learn to feel safe enough to stay open to. There’s something so powerful in the way she brings it back to the nervous system and the body, not as a concept to master, but as an experience to slowly, gently rebuild.

So many people think they are “bad at relationships,” “too much,” or “not ready yet,” when what’s actually happening is their system is doing exactly what it learned to do to survive. Her work offers a compassionate reframe: nothing is broken, it’s all protective, and it can be met with care instead of shame.

I really appreciate how she brings people back to the idea that love is not something we force ourselves into. It’s something we return to when safety starts to grow again.

To love,

Rachel

P.S. If you’re ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.

Guest Post Disclaimer: This guest post is for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing shared here, across CPTSDfoundation.org, any CPTSD Foundation website, our associated communities, or our Social Media accounts, is intended to substitute for or supersede the professional advice and direction of your medical or mental health providers. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the guest author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CPTSD Foundation. For further details, please review the following: Terms of Service, Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer

The post How can love feel like home? appeared first on CPTSDfoundation.org.

I recently had the great joy of connecting with Stacey Fitzgerald. She is a Certified Nutritionist, Somatic Breathwork Practitioner, Trauma-Informed horse trainer, Singer/Songwriter, Wife, Mother, and Creator of Becoming Safe–an online course and community for healing through all forms of betrayal trauma. 

As soon as we started talking, I just knew I had to introduce you to her. I even had the chance to attend her amazing breathwork workshop, which was soothing, healing, and eye-opening!

RACHEL: What inspired you to start writing about/exploring this topic?

STACEY: In February 2021, I had what I call my Breakdown/Breakthrough, which was a resurfacing of unhealed and undiagnosed Complex PTSD. I was so rocked in my body, especially because I had done a lot of study and had a reasonably deep head knowledge of what I thought it was to “be well.”

I realized, through my own experience, even though I had processed it in my mind, was still stored in my body and had been coming out through my songwriting for decades!

And it was showing itself through severe panic attacks and debilitating physical symptoms.

I began a deeper study of all things nervous system and trauma, adding to my head knowledge, and then really finding and DOING the things for my body that helped to move the needle from knowing to being.

RACHEL: What key insights or lessons have you learned through your experiences with this subject?

STACEY: One of the questions I heard posed early on from an expert I was listening to was, “When in life have you FELT SAFE?” I found myself feeling stunned–I wasn’t really sure what was meant by “safe,” and I was quite certain that I had never really felt that way!

A key insight from that point was how we needed to REGULATE our nervous system before we process trauma. I realized I had been processing in my head, but not regulating my body. Regulation before processing is key!

The other key insight has been that our nervous system is not our enemy, even when it feels like it is! It is actually doing exactly what it was designed to do, which is keep us alive, and alert us that it needs our attention. We are not broken, rather, we are functioning exactly as intended.

The missing piece was understanding the language of the nervous system, and how to listen and respond to it.

Our body knows the way home, and when we learn to listen, and become friends with our nervous system, the way back to our true self becomes much clearer.

RACHEL:  What might you tell someone who is just beginning to work on healing trauma?

STACEY: It’s easy to say, but perhaps the hardest to commit to: you just cannot give up.

No matter what life throws at you, no matter what kind of break you might take from your healing, and whatever trouble you might get into because of that break, you have to come back to pursuing personal joy and ultimate peace.

My experience is that overcoming trauma and abuse comes down to accepting that while it was bad and horrible and wrong,it did happen. I learned to accept that it happened withoutcondoning that it happened.

So, how does a person do that? I think that one’s addictions are the easiest place to begin because there’s a free, accessible process: 12-step programs. These days, many good books you’ll come in contact with while working the steps include addressing childhood trauma. The best one I’ve reads is called Iron Legacy by Dr. Donna J. Bevan-Lee.

If you want to learn about recovery through written exercises and reading personal essays, get Iron Legacy. If you want to learn about it via story, get my book!

RACHEL: What challenges or misconceptions do you think people face when dealing with this topic, and how can they overcome them?

STACEY: I think many people feel like something is “wrong” with them–that they are alone, crazy, and broken. This misconception can lead to utter hopelessness, depression, or anxiety, and can cause serious health issues among many other uncomfortable and debilitating effects.

Knowing that the answer is closer than they realize brings hope and a sense of security to someone who may have been feeling really lost for a long time.

Another challenge is that others in their life may not understand what they are going through, so their efforts to “help” can often be more harmful than supportive, and lead to further disconnect, loneliness, and confusion.

Connecting with a program, a person, or a community that gets them (someone who understands what they’re going through, and how to take steps back to feeling safe) can be a lifeline in a sea of chaos!

RACHEL: Are there any common myths or misunderstandings about this topic that you’d like to address?

STACEY: The word itself–SAFE–can have multiple meanings and implications. For instance, “playing it safe” can infer that someone is hiding or holding back. And feeling “unsafe” can mistakenly be attributed only to physically dangerous situations, circumstances, and people.

When I refer to BEING SAFE, I’m talking about a felt sense of being at home in your own body, able to be calm and alert at the same time, and having a nervous system that can handle the stresses of life and then return to a restful state when needed. It’s about having CHOICE and not being STUCK in patterns of disfunction.

When I say that you can BE SAFE, I use the letters as an acronym to describe how it feels: Secure & Stabile, Awake/Aware/Alive, Free from…and Free to… (fill in the blanks), and Expansive–able to grow, learn, explore, and step into the fullness of what it means to be YOU!

Now who doesn’t want to be SAFE when viewed in that light!?

RACHEL: What resources, tools, or next steps would you recommend for readers who want to dive deeper into this topic?

STACEY: I highly recommend learning about how your nervous system functions and what it’s doing for you. This means developing a regular practice of working with your body (physiology & nervous system), soul (mind/thought, emotions/feelings, will/choices), and spirit (your breath and connection to Breath/Spirit).

I offer an online course and community that contains all of that called Becoming Safe, as well as a rich resource section with connections to other people and sources like the work Rachel does.

I also offer a 90 Day daily somatic practice journey called “The Doing,” which is a great way to gently work with your nervous system and learn it’s language, developing a trusting friendship that serves you daily, as well as Somatic Breathwork Sessions designed to do the “deep” cleaning of clearing out what no longer serves us, and re-wiring into how we want to feel and show up.

Both of those offerings, as well as links to my Facebook pages and YouTube channels can be found on my website: onpurposeinternational.org

—

To your healing,

Rachel

P.S. If you’re ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.

Guest Post Disclaimer: This guest post is for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing shared here, across CPTSDfoundation.org, any CPTSD Foundation website, our associated communities, or our Social Media accounts, is intended to substitute for or supersede the professional advice and direction of your medical or mental health providers. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the guest author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CPTSD Foundation. For further details, please review the following: Terms of Service, Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer

The post What does it actually mean to be safe? appeared first on CPTSDfoundation.org.

P.S. If you’re ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.

Photo Credit: Unsplash

Rachel Grant is the owner and founder of Rachel Grant Coaching and is a Sexual Abuse Recovery Coach. She is also the author of Beyond Surviving: The Final Stage in Recovery from Sexual Abuse. She is a trusted colleague and friend of CPTSD Foundation.

Guest Post Disclaimer: This guest post is for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing shared here, across CPTSDfoundation.org, any CPTSD Foundation website, our associated communities, or our Social Media accounts, is intended to substitute for or supersede the professional advice and direction of your medical or mental health providers. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the guest author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CPTSD Foundation. For further details, please review the following: Terms of Service, Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer

The post Finding Beauty in the Pieces: A Journey Through Healing appeared first on CPTSDfoundation.org.

What she wrote is honest and deeply resonant. I’m so grateful she was willing to share it here:

When I started my journey into healing my digestive issues in my early twenties, I was eager to learn everything I could about health, well-being, and personal development. What began as a personal search for answers slowly turned into something else: I started taking certification courses, not just to understand myself better, but to help others, as well. After completing my Ayurveda certification almost two decades later, I stepped into the role of health counsellor, ready and excited to work with clients.

Looking back now, years later, I can see much more clearly what happened.

What I truly wanted was simple: to help people. I wanted to understand them, support them, guide them in breaking patterns, and help them heal–just as I had done. But very quickly, my days filled up with other things. Creating programs. Building websites. Writing yet another landing page. Designing freebies. Posting on social media. Learning marketing strategies. Trying to “grow my audience.”

This was all well-meant advice from the various business coaches I worked with–and it wasn’t necessarily wrong. But it slowly drained the life out of me.

It was stressful and time-consuming, and the painful irony was that I was hardly coaching anyone. I spent more time thinking about clever Instagram captions than sitting with real people, listening deeply, and doing the work I was actually trained for and loved.

Without really choosing it, I had become a creator-based entrepreneur–something I never aspired to be. At the same time, I was struggling financially, while being promised six-figure outcomes if I just tried harder, created more, and optimized better.

Over those six years, I created program after program. I hired more business coaches. I followed strategies that didn’t fit me, and watched them fail. The process depleted me, chipped away at my confidence, and eventually left me questioning whether I wanted to keep coaching at all.

But I am not quitting coaching.

What I am quitting are fancy program names, endless landing pages, constant posting on Instagram, and the pressure to produce more content, more materials, and more “proof.” I’m quitting doing things just for the gram. I’m quitting the all-consuming stress. I never wanted that life.

This pivot I’m making now–moving away from being a creator-based entrepreneur and back to simply being a coach–isn’t a step backwards. It’s a return–a remembering. This is a choice to honor how I actually work best, not how the industry says I should.

And maybe this journey was never really about building something external at all. Maybe it was my own healing path: a slow return home to myself. Moving through trauma, hardship, and old patterns of pushing, I was finally ready to listen, trust, and honor my own rhythm.

As we move into a new year, I’m not setting intentions around bigger goals or more output. I’m choosing a different orientation, even though I don’t yet know exactly how it will unfold.

Less pressing.
Less forcing.
Less building from depletion.

More listening.
More honesty.
More choosing ease. 

I don’t have this all figured out. I’m not claiming that choosing peace automatically makes things easy or clear. What I am doing is experimenting–noticing what feels aligned and what doesn’t, and allowing myself to respond, instead of overriding.

This pivot isn’t a final destination. It’s a practice–one I’m committed to trying and trusting.

Christa is a non-diet Ayurveda health counsellor, intuitive eating coach, and body image coach. With her approach, she helps women release stress, guilt, and anxiety around food and helps them to trust their body’s cues again with compassion and confidence. Originally from the Netherlands, she resides in Vancouver with her wife and two cats and is a graduate of “Beyond Surviving.” 

If you are interested in learning more about her work, reach out to her at christa@sageandsaintsayurveda.com. 

I hope her words invite you to pause and gently ask: what would it look like to honor yourself more this year? 

To flow instead of force!
Rachel


P.S. If you’re ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.

Photo by Peter Trones on Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

The post Not Another Year of Pushing appeared first on CPTSDfoundation.org.

Give yourself the pleasure of a functional life filled with people who believe you, who trust you, love you, and who accept the beauty and the wonder that is your strength.

I recently connected with Alle C. Hall, a sought-after author, speaker, writing instructor, and incest survivor known for her profound and compassionate insights into the joy, challenges, and successes that come from harnessing the creativity that heals trauma.

She and I had a great conversation about the power of stories to heal and reclaim joy, and I’m so glad to introduce you to this powerhouse woman!
—
RACHEL: What inspired you to start writing about/exploring this topic?

ALLE: I began writing professionally only a few months prior to uncovering a true willingness to accept the trauma that defined my childhood. Prior to that, I didn’t think about being abused; it was as complex and as simple as that. I survived well enough, given that I did not know how to love or be loved. Although I didn’t understand so at the time, it was as if having my work published gave my inner child that last little boost she needed to come forth and say, “Heal me. Now.”

In my healing process, I spent seven, maybe eight years in recovery from an eating disorder, alcoholism, and PTSD related to surviving childhood trauma before it occurred to me that my story could be altered in this fun (for me) way–and become a good book. Until the idea dawned, I found being a journalist completely satisfying.

I often wrote about women’s issues: topics such as female genital mutilation and sexism in the workplace. S*xual assault. My favorite piece to date was supposed to be a review of the musical Miss Saigon, but the day the copy was due, news broke that an Asian woman had been murdered by her husband. This white guy had (as I refer to in the article) “purchased” her through the magazine Cherry Blossoms. Claiming he was physically abusive, she was filing for divorce. She was in the actual courthouse when he walked up to her and shot her dead. She was pregnant.

I couldn’t help but see the overlap between magazines that marketed young, beautiful Asian women to white men in the States and the issues presented in Miss Saigon: denying female autonomy, the objectification of young Asian women, the insistence that they be beautiful, and the imperialistic dynamic often present in relationships between white men and Asian women. Suffice it to say, the show did not come across well in my review.

These such stories of women and girls have been critical to me. I remember when I first realized that the way girls were shaped by society was inequitable, unbearable, and just plain nonsensical. As soon as I started dedicating myself to writing about these things, I experienced a great sense of freedom from seeing sexism and misogyny right there in print. It gave me great purpose to be able to use my creativity to nail patriarchy and its toxic offshoots.

One afternoon at work, I had the entire outline for a book pop into my head: a girl is being abused, steals money to run away, comes into contact with a Lonely Planet guidebook, and decides to go to Asia. She gets to Asia and fucks up entirely due to the fact that she’s brought her own history in her backpack with her. I come across Tai chi and many generous and caring people who practice Tai chi.

There was never a question that the main character would find Tai chi. It wasn’t an element of the novel I weighed or debated. This detail existed from the moment the story popped into my head. My own practice led to choices about life that wouldn’t have happened had I not pursued the light and the positive circles that Tai chi offers.

It felt as though the story had been inside of me already for years: Asia, incest, pain, Tai chi, freedom, and learning to thrive. As I came to writing, it was only a matter of time until a novel based loosely on my childhood was going to come out.

Why write a novel? I published a number of first-person essays describing elements of my childhood and how I got through them. For some reason, the story in As Far as You Can Go Before You Have to Come Back just had to come out as a novel.

Why?

When I figure that out, I will be accepting my Nobel for Science.

RACHEL: What key insights or lessons have you learned through your experiences with this subject?

ALLE: I’ll start with something many of your readers already know: most abuse is not snatch-her-off-the-street. Most abuse is perpetrated by family and/or other trusted adults. Every survivor I come in contact with struggles with wanting to have their family, particularly the perpetrator, admit to the abuse and apologize. There is, sometimes unspoken, often subconscious–an idea that getting them to apologize is the key to healing.

Don’t wait for anyone else’s acknowledgment before you let yourself heal. Believe in yourself and move into your recovery program. Give yourself the pleasure of a functional life filled with people who believe you, who trust you, love you, and who accept the beauty and the wonder that is your strength.

And be open to miracles. You never know who in your family or community is going to come out in support of you.

Secondly, I would stress that financial independence is really critical.

I’m not saying you need to be rich. I’m saying you need to know you can take care of yourself.

It is very hard to experience healing when those who caused the damage are partially or in full your source of income–even paying for your recovery processes.

For two years, I made between $6.50 and $8.50 an hour as a receptionist. It was the only job I could handle while in the initial stages of getting my head together. But I got by. I was really proud of supporting myself despite every person in my childhood who told me I couldn’t. I had always been dependent on my family. Slowly, step by reasonable step, I built a career writing and teaching about surviving trauma through harnessing creative expression.

Which brings me to my final point: unresolved trauma sits like a blanket, wet and heavy over the hippocampus, which is a part of the brain primary to holding the different facets of trauma: the physical, the spiritual, the emotional, the sexual, and the intellectual. The hippocampus can file images of the abuse separate from the memory of it, and separate from the emotions locked there: anger, shame, pain, guilt, and loneliness.

The hippocampus is also the seat of our creativity. Anyone can work to harness whatever form of creativity they enjoy to physically push the trauma out of their body. I know people who discover they are visual artists, chefs, potters, or great storytellers. Or maybe they make quilts, or parent in the most amazing way imaginable. It doesn’t matter what you do to express yourself. As long as it doesn’t involve damaging or illegal behavior, you can harness that creativity to flush the trauma and generate still more creative expression, flushing out still more trauma.


RACHEL:  What challenges or misconceptions do you think people face when dealing with this topic, and how can they overcome them?

ALLE:  I’ll start with that last part, because it’s the easiest to formulate sentences about–though perhaps the hardest to commit to: you just cannot give up.

No matter what life throws at you, no matter what kind of break you might take from your healing, and whatever trouble you might get into because of that break, you have to come back to pursuing personal joy and ultimate peace.

My experience is that overcoming trauma and abuse comes down to accepting that while it was bad and horrible and wrong, it did happen. I learned to accept that it happened without condoning it.

So, how does a person do that? I think that one’s addictions are the easiest place to begin because there’s a free, accessible process: 12-step programs. These days, many good books you’ll come in contact with while working the steps include addressing childhood trauma. The best one I’ve read is called Iron Legacy by Dr. Donna J. Bevan-Lee.

If you want to learn about recovery through written exercises and reading personal essays, get Iron Legacy. If you want to learn about it via a story, get mine.


RACHEL: Are there any common myths or misunderstandings about this topic that you’d like to address?

ALLE: What a timely question, given how we are focused on the women abused as girls (and older) by Jeffrey Epstein, Ghislaine Maxwell, and all those powerful, rich men. It wasn’t until a month or so ago that we started hearing the women referred to as survivors. They are generally called victims.

The public at large needs to be shown that while abuse survivors were victimized, we are no longer victims. We live with joy in conjunction with an awareness of–and despite–the world being what it is.

Another misconception is that the survivors are at fault. The truth is: we didn’t hurt anyone. We didn’t commit crimes. Child abuse is a crime.

In addition, there is the idea that we’re supposed to be weak–perhaps kept in bed, and fed soup.

Of course, people are shocked and horrified when they hear what I went through, and that is fair. But too many people lack the understanding of how strong someone has to be to survive childhood trauma, and sexual trauma. We are so strong.


RACHEL: What resources, tools, or next steps would you recommend for readers who want to dive deeper into this topic?

ALLE: It is of primary importance to accept that you need help getting through this. While you might have been alone when the abuse took place, you aren’t alone now. There are so many amazing people with wisdom to share about surviving, healing, and thriving, and they want to listen and help. There are great worlds of joy to experience, and they are waiting for you.

As I’ve said, and will reiterate here: 12-Step programs.

Additionally, there is a wonderful national non-profit organization called She Recovers. They have local groups and online communities that meet regularly.

I have a small, private Facebook group called Reading and Writing Trauma. I’d love you to join us–especially if you like reading books about surviving trauma. Also, if you’re interested in writing and even publishing your stories, we’re a great place to get that information.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/587401290619506


—I wholeheartedly echo everything Alle has shared here. If you’re on a journey of healing or exploring how creativity can help you move forward, I encourage you to check out her work, her novel, and the wonderful resources she offers for insight, encouragement, and inspiration.

To Joy!

Rachel\
P.S. If you’re ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.

Photo by x ) on Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

The post How Writing Helped a Survivor Heal – and Find Joy! appeared first on CPTSDfoundation.org.

This month, I want to share a wonderful resource that helps kids (and anyone young at heart) learn how to notice, name, and navigate their emotions in healthy ways.

“Sometime I Get Stuck“, by Bursey Twin Stories.

I have to admit – I really wish I’d had a book like this when I was a kid.

Growing up, I faced my own trauma and intense emotions without the words, guidance, or tools to understand or manage them. I didn’t know how to calm myself down when my feelings felt too big, or how to recognize when my thoughts were spiraling.

A story like this – playful, relatable, and full of humor – would have been such a gift.

It teaches that big feelings aren’t “bad,” and that learning ways to regulate emotions is not only possible, but also empowering.

Even as an adult, I see the value in stories like this – they normalize the experience of strong emotions and show that there are practical ways to manage them, without shame or judgment.

Sharing books like this encourages self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and resilience – lessons that are valuable at any age.

Whether you’re reading with a child or looking for a gentle reminder for yourself, it’s a simple, uplifting way to explore how we can handle our emotions instead of letting them handle us.

To healing, 

Rachel
P.S. If you’re ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

The post Big Feelings? How Kids (and Adults) Can Learn to Handle Them appeared first on CPTSDfoundation.org.

Life had taken an unexpected turn, and I was scared – terrified, really – that I wouldn’t be able to support myself. Living on my own again was harder than I imagined, and the future felt like a huge question mark.

Would I ever fall in love again? Would I be okay?

At times, I felt broken, unwanted, and deeply alone.

Daily life was a mix of small blessings and heavy anxiety. I was working as a nanny, and thank goodness for the kids’ naps, because that was often the only time I could let myself cry. The family I worked for was wonderfully supportive, and I was trying to build new friendships – but there was a lot of quiet loneliness in between.

Anxiety kept me stuck in subtle but powerful ways.

Some days it was hard to leave the house.

Dating felt terrifying – I carried big fears about being betrayed again.

My mind was in a constant loop of “No one will ever love me” and “I’m going to end up homeless.”

The turning point came in the most ordinary of places: a park, watching ducks. I remembered the old saying about how ducks look calm on the surface, but underneath their little legs are paddling like crazy.

That’s exactly what I felt – going, going, going, but not releasing the fear that had my chest so tight. In that moment, I realized enough was enough. I didn’t want to live life in panic any longer.

The process of reclaiming calm wasn’t instant – but it was doable.

I began focusing on the truth: I had faced challenges and losses before, and I could handle this too.

I started practicing positive anticipation – training myself to look for what could go right, not just what could go wrong. That little mindset shift became a lifeline.

Today, anxiety shows up differently. It’s an alarm, not a jailer, reminding me, “Hey, you’re focusing only on the future and expecting the worst. Challenge that.”

I’m no longer stuck. I have freedom. I can look ahead and feel inspired, rather than paralyzed. If you’re feeling trapped by anxiety right now, know this: you’ve got this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

You can start small – just noticing the fear, acknowledging it, and then taking one brave step. Over time, you’ll find the space to create the life you truly want.

Take a deep breath today and remember: even small steps count. You’re capable of more than your anxiety tells you – and I’m here to help you burst that fear and step into the life you’re meant to live.

With you in it,

Rachel

P.S. If you’re ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.

Photo by Lawrence Krowdeed on Unsplash

The post When Anxiety Ran My Life… Here’s How I Reclaimed Control appeared first on CPTSDfoundation.org.

“I saw your email and meant to open it… But I couldn’t.”
“I’ve had this saved for weeks—I just haven’t felt ready.”
“I knew it was going to bring stuff up… so I avoided it.”

And guess what? That hesitation makes sense. Because when you’re living with the effects of trauma—especially complex trauma—everything that hints at healing can also stir up fear. Even something as simple as an email can feel like a trigger.

Why?

Because healing asks something of us, it asks us to feel, to remember, to face, to be present—and for many trauma survivors, those things haven’t always felt safe. That email might contain truths you’re not sure you can face yet.
It might suggest changes you’re scared to make. It might be a reminder of something you’ve been trying not to think about.

So your brain does what it learned to do to protect you: It says, “Let’s not go there today.”

And that’s okay.

Fear is not a sign that you’re failing. It’s a sign that your system is trying to stay safe. The key is learning how to listen to that fear without letting it decide your future.

Because behind that fear might also be a part of you that wants more. More freedom. More peace. More connection.
A life that’s about thriving—not just surviving.

But here’s the thing: healing doesn’t have to happen all at once. You don’t have to be “ready” for everything right now.
You just have to be willing to take one small step at a time. Sometimes, that step might look like opening a hard email.
Other times, it might be pausing to take a breath, texting a trusted friend, or just choosing to be kind to yourself today.

Whatever your pace—whatever your process—please know this:

You are not broken.
You are not behind.
You are not alone.

There’s no perfect timeline. No one “right” way to heal. But there is a path forward—and you get to walk it at your own speed.

So if you’ve ever flinched at a subject line, closed a tab halfway through reading, or scrolled past something that felt too real—know that that’s not weakness. It’s wisdom, protection, survival. And it can shift with time.

When you’re ready, the next step will be there.
And so will I.

With you in it,
Rachel

P.S. If you’re ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.

Photo by Mariia Shalabaieva on Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

The post Why Even Opening an Email Can Feel Scary When You’re Healing from Trauma appeared first on CPTSDfoundation.org.