Half of U.S. adults will experience at least one traumatic event in their lifetimes. For some, this trauma will fade over time, while for others it will develop into a more serious condition known as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). 

As Giles Fourie, Director and Co-owner at White River Manor, explains, “Some people can continue life without any major disruption, whereas others will be significantly affected – emotionally, mentally, and physically – and may engage in unhealthy behaviors, such as substance abuse, often resulting in co-occurring disorders.”

When trauma experiences are prolonged, such as in situations of domestic abuse, trauma bonds can form, making it incredibly difficult for the sufferer to leave. In this article, we will be discussing trauma, why trauma bonds form, and how to break them. We hope the information we share is helpful to you, whatever situation you find yourself in.

What Causes Trauma?

Because trauma is the result of an emotional reaction to a situation, what is traumatic is personal to the individual. Just because you found an event traumatic that someone else didn’t, does not mean your feelings aren’t valid.

Some of the most well-known causes of trauma include:

• Harassment (physical and emotional)
• Bullying
• Racism and racist attacks
• Natural disasters
• War
• Kidnapping
• Physical, psychological, or sexual abuse
• Sexual assault
• Traffic accidents
• Acts of terrorism
• The unexpected and sudden loss of a loved one
• Attack
• Childbirth

It’s important to mention that a person can also experience trauma after witnessing a traumatic event that happened to someone else. You don’t have to be the recipient of the traumatic event to become traumatized.

The Three Types of Trauma

There are three main types of trauma that a person may experience. These are:

Acute Trauma 

This is trauma resulting from a single incident, such as a serious accident or a violent event. People suffering acute trauma may experience post-traumatic stress disorder; however, more often than not, this is only for the short term.

Chronic 

This is trauma caused by repeated exposure to a traumatic experience, such as abuse or combat situations. When trauma is prolonged, it can take years for the resulting symptoms to surface.

Complex 

This is trauma resulting from exposure to numerous traumatic events, usually within the context of interpersonal relationships. Complex trauma includes instances of childhood abuse, violence, sexual exploitation/trafficking, and neglect.

Unfortunately, trauma is not always easy to identify. In fact, many of us are living with unresolved trauma from our past without even realizing it. Understanding trauma and its symptoms can equip you with the knowledge you need to resolve your trauma and move forward with your life.

What are the Symptoms of Trauma?

Trauma symptoms can surface differently in different people. While most people find their symptoms of trauma (such as nightmares, flashbacks, and generalized anxiety) tend to fade over time. For others, symptoms can last a lot longer and may require professional support.

If you suspect you’re from trauma, here are the signs and symptoms you might be experiencing:

• Anger (traumatized individuals can feel angry at themselves, the person/people responsible for their traumatic event, or the world in general)
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Obsessive-compulsive behaviors 
• Self-medicating 
• Withdrawal and isolation from social situations
• Eating disorders
• Strong feelings of stress and overwhelm. Emotional detachment (numbness or dissociation is a survival response common in trauma sufferers.)
• Fatigue and exhaustion
• Flashbacks (replaying the traumatic event in your head and reliving the physical and emotional effects)
• Insomnia due to recurring nightmares

When a person experiences prolonged trauma, such as abuse over many years, they can be susceptible to developing trauma bonds. These can be incredibly difficult to break and can have a profoundly damaging effect on a person’s life.

Trauma Bonds Explained

Trauma bonds are the result of a powerful emotional attachment that can occur when there is a pattern of toxic or abusive behavior followed by positive reinforcement or intense affection. This can also be referred to as ‘intermittent reinforcement’.

There are many different types of trauma bonding in relationships, including those romantically, professionally, and within a person’s family. Trauma bonds can also form in hostage situations. This is very common.

Why are Trauma Bonds So Hard to Break?

According to Broxtowe Women’s Project, “Trauma bonding has similarities with Stockholm Syndrome where people held captive develop feelings of trust and affection towards their captors. Both Trauma-Bonding and Stockholm Syndrome are survival strategies that develop to help survive an emotionally or physically dangerous situation.” 

A common example of a trauma bonding cycle developing is in situations of domestic abuse, where a person may be repeatedly hit by their partner, only to receive an apology and special treatment afterward. 

For those who have not experienced trauma, it’s easy to assume this kind of unpredictable behavior would drive the sufferer to seek help. However, trauma bonds can cause a person to feel like if they only act in a certain way, they’ll receive the love they deserve. Trauma bonds cause a person to hope that one day the negative behaviors will change.

How to Break Trauma Bonds

“Trauma is incomprehensible and unbearable. It overwhelms the mind, body, and brain and shatters you to pieces. You cannot tell the trauma story – you live it out in your body.” – Dr. Bessell van der Kolk

Breaking a trauma bond is incredibly challenging, yet crucial if you want to reclaim your independence and mental health. Here are some of the ways you can break a trauma bond and move on with your life.

Understand Trauma

Many people with a trauma bond are often unaware of their trauma. They don’t always recognize the behavior as traumatic and have instead, subconsciously, developed survival tactics that help them through difficult times (such as, dissociation, numbness, and self-medicating). 

The first step in breaking a trauma bond is to understand what trauma is and the long-term effects it can have. When you educate yourself about trauma bonds and what they can look like in a relationship, you can recognize negative patterns in your own relationship and see reality more clearly.

Acknowledge the Situation

Once you understand what trauma bonds are and how they can form, it’s important to acknowledge your situation. This can be incredibly challenging as many people in trauma bonds feel a fierce sense of loyalty to their partner.

However, it is essential to realize that the relationship is unhealthy and that it is, in fact, causing you trauma. This involves recognizing unhealthy patterns of behavior and acknowledging the pain and suffering these cause you. 

Some people find journaling to be helpful for documenting incidents and the feelings associated with them. The act of writing things out can help make it easier to accept the reality of the situation.

Build a Support System

Having a strong support system is essential throughout your life, but especially when you are working to break a trauma bond. Reaching out to trusted friends, family members, and/or support groups who can offer emotional support and guidance is incredibly important.

Many people find that joining a support group for abuse survivors is extremely comforting. It connects you with people in a similar situation and provides a safe space where you can talk freely and be understood. We understand that the journey to healing is long, but with the right support system, you don’t have to walk it alone.

Seek Professional Help

It can be incredibly difficult to break a trauma bond on your own (not impossible, but certainly challenging). That’s why we strongly recommend you seek professional support along the way.

A therapist who specializes in trauma will help you understand the patterns of abuse that have strengthened the trauma bond, and they will support you in breaking that bond and moving on with your life.

Final Words

We hope this article has given you insight into why trauma bonds form and how to break them. 

If you have experienced a traumatic event or prolonged trauma, you aren’t alone. We hope this article encourages you to take proactive steps towards building a support system and seeking the professional help you need to move forward into freedom.

Photo by Lucas van Oort on Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

Sophie Bishop

Research has shown that excessive exposure to social media can contribute to mental health issues and dissatisfaction with body image, which each fuel one another. 

With billions of social media users worldwide, the effects of these platforms and technology on our mental health can be felt on a global scale. 

The positives we can take from social media

First, the positives—social media can positively impact our body image, with millions of fitness, food, and wellness accounts providing inspiration and aspirational content. Through these lenses, users can maintain their healthy lifestyles and take a positive view of their bodies. 

With an increasing number of body-positive accounts to follow who will advocate for a healthier perspective on how we look, social media users can benefit from a different perspective on their body image. 

Platforms such as Instagram and TikTok have the potential to empower people to stay healthy. Since most platforms have made eating-disorder-specific keywords such as “anorexia”, “bulimia”, and “thinspiration” unsearchable, helping to provide a healthier representation. 

By their very design, social channels are online communities where people can engage with other like-minded people and share ideas or opinions, fostering a diverse conversation on topics such as mental health and body image. 

How social media can influence poor mental health

Unfortunately, excessive consumption of seemingly perfect bodies and unfaltering diets can take its toll on our mental health and even lead to disordered eating. 

Social media can impact our emotions in various ways, making us feel anxious or depressed, angry or frustrated at the lives of people we see on social media channels. 

Over time, this can lead to unrealistic expectations of how our bodies should look and this can cause unhealthy eating habits. “You might have obsessive thoughts about food or reach for a certain type of meal when you’re feeling sad or unsure of something. For some, unhealthy eating behaviors are focused more on weight and body image than the feelings associated with eating”, says Olivia Marcellino, VP of Research at Recovery.com. 

It’s important to remember that social media is filled with people presenting a highlight reel of their lives, and this includes the way they present images of themselves. 

Photoshop, filters, and editing tools make it possible to completely reinvent ourselves into perfect images, which can make for impossible standards to reach and feel as though we’re in a constant state of comparison. 

Social media can make us feel as though we have a personal connection to the people we follow, and it can make it much easier to be influenced by the content we view every day.

This continual state of dissatisfaction can impact our mental health in other ways, too, lowering our self-esteem and increasing the likelihood of depression. 

Studies have even shown that increased use of social media can influence poor sleep quality and higher levels of anxiety and depression in young adults, as well as feelings of loneliness and isolation. The price paid for access to social media, in many cases, is our mental health and an unhealthy view of our own body image. 

Combatting the effects of social media on mental health

By taking a proactive approach to how we use social media, it is possible to counteract the negative effects it can have on our body image and mental health. As with anything in life, balance is key. 

Take a break from social media for a while so you can refocus and rid your mind of the negative feelings scrolling through accounts can have. This might be for a few hours when you notice your emotions are dipping, or it might be stepping back for a few weeks to gain perspective and regroup. 

It’s also important to regularly assess who you’re following and why. Do you notice that after viewing content from a certain account, you feel angry, upset, or envious? It could be that these types of accounts aren’t having a positive effect, and it’s time to unfollow them. 

Social media should be fun and uplifting, so make a habit of going through your accounts every so often to ensure that the people you’re following are producing content that’s inspiring you and putting you in a better mood, not bringing you down. 

We’re social beings and we want to forge connections with others, so use social media for the purpose it was intended and find a community that supports you. 

Follow body-positive accounts, get involved with conversations online that promote positive mental health and join groups that support one another and lift people up. It can help to shift your mindset of what an ‘ideal’ body type can look like and do wonders for making you feel good about yourself and those around you.

Sometimes, it’s not possible to alleviate the impact social media can have without professional help, particularly if the outcome of negative social media usage has resulted in disordered eating. When our mental health has been poor for some time, getting out of that mindset can be tough. But there are options, from counselling and therapy sessions to prescription medication and more, which can help us get back to a healthier perspective. 

Final thoughts

Social media certainly has its plus points – it can help us foster connections with people from all over the world and view issues and topics from different perspectives. But it has a dark side, and we need to be cautious of how we use social media channels and how often in order to protect our mental health and stave off issues. 

Whether it’s being careful who we follow, paying attention to how long we’re scrolling every day, or seeking help and support when we can feel our mental health slipping, there are ways to combat the negative impact that social media can have and focus on the positives instead.

Photo via Unsplash: Becca Tapert

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

Sophie Bishop