Elizabeth Woods | CPTSDfoundation.org

Are You a Highly Sensitive Person? Here’s How You Survive When the World Overwhelms You

Elizabeth Woods — Fri, 04 Sep 2026 10:00:00 +0000

Have you ever been told that you’re too sensitive?

Have you heard comments like:

“You need a thicker skin?”

“You take everything to heart”

This article is for you.

As a trauma survivor, I see the world differently from others. I see the pain that people carry long before they start to speak. It’s in the nuances of how they move and hold themselves. Their body language. It’s in the interactions and words they choose over others. It’s in the tone of voice and ways people communicate.

I’m a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) because I’ve lived through trauma and survived. There are many people like me who have also lived through abuse and trauma. There are people who live with HSP who haven’t survived trauma, but are still sensitive.

What does it mean to be a Highly Sensitive Person?

Being sensitive in this world doesn’t mean something is wrong. It is not a disability or a mental disorder. Being an HSP means that you have a sensitive nervous system.

Are you easily overwhelmed by loud noises, bright lights, strong smells, or rough materials?

Do you get stressed when you have a lot to do in a short amount of time?

Are you a deep thinker and reflect on conversations after they’ve happened?

Do people tell you that you are good at understanding what they are feeling or thinking?

Do you avoid violent movies and content?

Do you shy away from conflict?

If you answered yes to these questions, you’re likely a highly sensitive person.

In everyday life, this boils down to an HSP being aware of tiny, nuanced details in surroundings that others may miss. An HSP is sensitive to other people’s moods and deeply feels pressure and overstimulation.

Unfortunately, this also means that an HSP can easily become overwhelmed in certain situations, like those with strong sensory inputs.

If this sounds like you, read on for advice on how to manage these.

Where did the term HSP come from?

Research Psychologist, Dr. Elaine Aron, came up with the term HSP and wrote a book about it in the mid-nineties. Dr. of Psychology, Ted Zeff, published a book on HSP in 2004, and psychotherapist Mel Collins wrote her book about HSP in 2019.

I think that the world needs to be educated about HSP because we now (more than ever), live with suffering and pain due to traumatic events. It’s literally everywhere we turn, whether it’s in the real world or on social media.

How to Manage HSP in daily life

Cut down on your sensory input

External inputs affect our mental health every day. Most of the time we can shrug it off, but some days feel heavier than others. If you find crowds overwhelming, choose a different time to shop. If you can’t avoid loud, busy places, noise-canceling headphones are a good investment.

Trust your own intuition

“If it doesn’t feel right, then it probably isn’t.” This is a saying that I heard years ago, and I live by it. Trust in your own instincts.

Sleep

This is such a simple and basic need that it tends to be forgotten. If you sleep less than seven hours every night, then you aren’t going to be at your best the following day. Make sure you get plenty of sleep to recharge those batteries.

Rest and relax and reinvigorate yourself

This is another need that most of us forget. We are busy people living in a world that is “on” 24/7. If you have a stressful job, regular breaks are essential to keep you working at your best. Make sure you take breaks. Go somewhere quiet where you won’t be disturbed and do something that nurtures you. Switch off for a while.

Get back to nature

Research has proven that we need nature in our lives. Being outdoors centers us in a profound way. The sounds of bird song, the breeze in the trees, undulating waves crashing onto a beach.

Find a quiet place where you can relax and listen to the sounds around you without any interruptions.

Most of all, believe in yourself and follow your heart. There is nobody else like you in this world and your ideas and thoughts matter.

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Support your fellow writer:

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Here are the three books mentioned in my article:

The Highly Sensitive Person by Dr. Elaine N. Aron
This is the quintessential “bible” for HSPs. Written by the research psychologist who coined the term, it explains the science behind the trait and provides essential tools for thriving in an overstimulating world.

The Highly Sensitive Person’s Survival Guide by Ted Zeff
A practical, hands-on book loaded with specific skills — such as grounding techniques and lifestyle adjustments — to help you navigate daily stress and find peace.

The Handbook for Highly Sensitive People by Mel Collins
Written from a fellow HSP’s perspective, this approachable guide offers actionable strategies for managing overarousal and shifting towards greater self-love and acceptance.

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The Sex-Offender is Dead: The News of His Death Triggered more than Grief

Elizabeth Woods — Tue, 25 Aug 2026 10:00:00 +0000

How can you feel prepared for something that you’ve never experienced?

Trigger Warning: This is a darker post than I normally would write, but hey, I think this will resonate for many of you. Take care of yourself as you are reading.

Death is final.

It happens to all of us eventually, but when someone close to you dies, it hits just a little more than other deaths.

Have you experienced death of a close relative or a loved one?

We all grieve in different ways, especially if the person who died was a part of your everyday life. There is a five-stage grief cycle by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. Her research is often mentioned when we talk about grief.

Kubler-Ross’ five stage Grief cycle

Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

Source: https://www.healthcentral.com/condition/depression/stages-of-grief

These stages of the grief cycle happen to all of us when we encounter death, but the experience of each stage is personal and can take time. You might be stuck in the denial stage for a long time and go through the anger stage in the afternoon.

The experience of grief is personal, but I think it’s far healthier to talk about how you feel than keep it all inside.

Keeping quiet and holding everything inside almost killed me. I needed someone, anyone to hear me and what I had to say. I wrote The Sex-Offender’s Daughter, https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Offenders-Daughter-Story-Survival-Against-ebook/dp/B0BBSV97VF so that my story of abuse and trauma was out there. No one believed me until this book.

Death

Death is a huge topic, but not something I’ve encountered much until now. My experience with death has been through estranged relatives who have dealt with funeral arrangements and everything else.

This time, I’m next of kin, and the person who needs to decide everything about my father’s remains and his estate. Not only that, but I’m also the only one who must do it because no one else cares.

Do I want a funeral? (Hell no! Nobody would come anyway)

Where should he be buried? (As far as I’m concerned, in a hole of undetermined origin).

Do I want a gravestone? (Nope, why would I want one?)

There’s a whole fat can of worms of legal mumbo jumbo when it comes to the death of a person — Sex-Offender or otherwise.

This time, I’m talking about the death of my abuser. My so-called father. The man who was the source of my pain and that of other kids and women. There were so many of them who were affected by his fear and abuse, but here I am dealing with his death on my own.

The Sex-Offender is dead.

He died alone.

He had nobody coming to see him for years as he lay debilitated after a stroke.

I’m not sorry, nor am I sad that I was estranged from the man for decades. He hurt me in the most profound way, and he led others to do the same. He caused so much misery to so many kids and women, but most of all, he hurt me, his only daughter.

I was broken because of him.
I left everyone and everything because of him.
I started my life again because of him.
I’ve been living in fear all my life because of him.

The fear unlike no other fear

The day finally came that I’d been wishing for all my life. The death of my father. A man I have feared my entire life. I’m talking about the kind of fear that breaks through every thought and action. A fear so profound that it held me in a death grip all my life.

When I received the news of my father’s death, it hit me in the strangest way I’ve ever felt. No matter how much I’ve longed for the day, I was not prepared for the news.

I was about to settle in for the night after my kids had gone to bed. The news came via social media from an extended family member. I had severed all contact and yet this member of the family found me. Words that I had wanted to hear all my life were delivered as a matter of fact, and all I felt was:

Nothing.

I felt completely calm, and I remember saying to my husband “I don’t care,” and went back to my writing.

But my brain and body had other ideas.

In all that “fine-ness” that I was trying to convey to the world. I was definitely not fine.

The truth is, after a few days, that blissful numbness was no longer. I’m now going through a whole range of emotions. It’s a rollercoaster of deep trauma, moments of clarity, depression, sadness, exhaustion, anger, and a strange sense of inner peace.

All these emotions are rolled into an undulating energy soup that rises and falls like waves inside of my head and chest. It changes every second of every day like a kaleidoscope of light fluctuating in the wind.

So there, Kubler-Ross. I’m an anomaly. I don’t go through those five grief stages. They take over me all at once and more.

Maybe I should invent my own grief cycle that matches what I’m feeling?

Each day is different than the last, each hour, each minute. They all hold some new memories, recently revealed thoughts, or glimpses from my past. A new truth formulating from an adult viewpoint about what was going on. The sudden realization of what it meant.

It consumed me and crushed me. The weight of knowing what he did to me and so many others. I have no words to explain these feelings coursing through my blood.

Am I feeling “Denial?” No way. I know what happened loud and clear. I’ve lived with the horror all my life.
Am I feeling “Anger?” You bet, I’m a raging tornado of anger.
Am I “Bargaining?” Bargaining for what? That he be more dead?

Do I have “Depression?” Well I see the way I’m feeling as normal. Yes, I’m hurting but I’ve come a long way to live my own life free from trauma and abuse. Do the memories still follow me? Yes, but I don’t think traumatic events can go away.

Do I feel “Acceptance?” Yes, I have accepted my life and moved on.

The memories hurt with the same force as they did when they happened. Conversations played out in my head, words that cut me deeper than a knife. Followed by past actions that were terrifying and horrific.

At the same time as these emotions, I must deal with the people who were in my father’s life. The ones who have no clue who he was. There are many legal issues on my shoulders as next of kin to a man with no known will. A dangerous man society had forgotten.

But I haven’t forgotten. I know exactly who he was.

To make everything worse for my head, this is happening in a different time-zone that I don’t live in. I don’t know the estate laws, and don’t want to be spending any time in that place again.

I’m never going back to that place.

My father was a sex-offender and a murderer. He died alone without any friends or family, and I’m not feeling bad that I wasn’t there. I don’t owe the man anything because he stole everything from me.

He took my innocence, my childhood, my trust, and my identity, but even in death he comes back to haunt me.

I’ve lived in a different time zone for decades, to get away from my father and his evil ways. Death is final and doesn’t wait for anyone. It can’t be ignored, which is what my instinct wanted me to do. I wanted nothing to do with it.

He had been “dead to me,” for years.

So, there I was trying to deal with everything and get back in touch with relatives who I had not spoken to in decades. Hearing those voices again and speaking his name triggered something profound within me. Something I thought I had left firmly in my past.

My body started remembering again, after hearing his name. This time the flashbacks kept on coming relentlessly. Each memory fired a bullet of pain into my present life. I developed a tremor, and felt the pain hit me in parts of my body where invisible bruises came to life. They reminded me of a past I had wanted to forget. Each pain brought a vivid memory of horrifying evil.

Then the crying started. I felt out of control of my own body. Giant tears escaped from my tear ducts and rolled down my cheeks in quick succession. I had to stop what I was doing and try to get through whatever this was.

A panic attack?
An emotional shut down?
Some kind of break down?

The scary thing was that I had no control over my emotions. They took over as the memories hit me in waves after waves.

I didn’t grieve his death. This was something else. This was more than grief. But I have no words for it. My memories were focused on everything he did to me and others. A life of pain and abuse. The trauma of the deaths he had been involved in.

If this is what closure feels like, then I want no part of it. I tried reasoning myself out of it. That it was normal to feel sad and the memories would eventually go away. (I guess I tried the bargaining for a spell.)

It didn’t work.

I tried grounding techniques and drew on all the tools of coping with trauma triggers that I’ve mastered over the years.

It didn’t work.

I tried breathing techniques to calm my racing heartbeat from the intense fear from the memories.

It didn’t work.

If anything, the slower breathing made a giant weight bloom in my chest and I felt like I was about to explode.

I kept on crying and let a few deep sobs escape as the memories took over. The pain was way worse than anything I’d ever felt before. The only way I can describe the feeling is by having a lifetime of memories hijack my consciousness at the same time.

I cried so hard, my chest felt like it was going to burst from the pain, and yet the memories kept coming.

The Power of Abuse Lives On

The shadow of power my so-called father wielded over my life continued, whether I was in contact with him or not. I moved time-zones to put space between me and him. A chasm between the present and the past.

It didn’t work.

The truth was, he was alive in the world and carrying on with his evilness even after I left.

The constructed reality my father demanded of everyone around him. His dominating presence where no voice apart from his own was heard. The judgmental pronouncements of doom and gloom over the lives of others. The complete lack of understanding or empathy for anyone, or any life form around him.

I survived, and guess what?

My father was wrong.

I’m not stupid.

I can live without him.

Laughter does exist.

I could get away and make it on my own.

I did not get sick and die after breaking my silence when I published “The Sex-Offender’s Daughter.

It took everything I had to leave. I spent decades trying to understand what had happened to me and why I was feeling different from others. I spent years searching for the truth that seemed to dissipate into mist at the slightest negative. To quiet the dissonance in my mind, heart, and soul.

I used everything I knew and read every book I could get my hands on, but do you know what? I made it. I have started again, established new relationships, and I encompass integrity, honesty and truth in my everyday life.

The Bible says, “The truth will set you free.”

I can wonder at the joy in life, pursue dreams and goals I never thought reachable, and more than anything else, I can finish what I start and do well, leaving a legacy of peace, encouragement, and kindness to my own children.

I feel sorry for my mother and father. They never knew how wonderful life could be. It’s still hard sometimes.

I miss the role-models that a mom and dad bring. I’ve never known what that’s like, but I give it to my own children every single day because I love them.

Love has turned my life around.

I will always bear the scars from the trauma and abuse to a certain degree, but I made it. I made it out, and I am grateful for my own resilience.

I did not give up. I defied trauma and abuse and started again.

I embrace joy and the goodness in everyone I meet.

Life is worth it.

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Support your fellow writer:

https://ko-fi.com/elizabe69245484

How to Explain Complex PTSD to Loved Ones
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The Loneliness that Wraps Around Trauma

Elizabeth Woods — Mon, 17 Aug 2026 10:00:00 +0000

It’s in the Silence You Hear the Loudest Things

***Trigger Warning***

This article discusses specific, explicit, aspects of a personal trauma story. Please be kind to yourself as you read.

What do you carry with you every single day?

Many people quietly live in the world today with burdens from a life filled with trauma. It could be events that happened decades ago, but they feel like they permeate everything you say and do in your present life.

How do we help and support trauma survivors? Does anyone really care?

I believe that everyone’s life matters and nobody should suffer when there is help and support out there. I know, because I had to suffer alone for decades, until I discovered that there is help.

Many people tell me that the past is the past, and it’s best to leave it at that. I wish I could shake them at that moment and tell them:

“Don’t you get it at all….?”

Because trauma experiences follow survivors.

It’s in every breath we take, every emotion we feel and in every situation we encounter. It’s sitting there in the essence of our being and enhances everything tenfold.

Life unfolds in greater depth.

When bad situations happen, survivors feel them at quadruple intensity. Emotions such as sadness and anger can change the outlook of our day because we feel too much.

Don’t you think we would forget what happened to us if we could?

Trauma memories aren’t like normal memories.

They still live in the way you hold your body. They live in the tense shoulders, and inside that pain in your chest comes and goes when you hear a trigger.

A smell
A sound
A certain accent
Food
Emotions from strangers nearby
BAM!

The triggers take you back to a time you don’t want to revisit and keep you there in full 3D — like your very own movie. Your brain has hijacked your present and taken you back to the worst time of your life.

The memory movie doesn’t ask for an appointment in your calendar or knock on your door before wreaking havoc inside your nervous system.

Trauma hits you like a tornado and floods your head with images and feelings like a soup of pain. Nothing makes sense at that moment. Heck, you don’t even know where you are anymore and what year it is.

Everything stops as your brain hijacks your thoughts.

I was at a kid’s birthday party once, and something triggered me and I dropped a plate and froze. I scared all the kids from my robot-like state, and my own kids were crying when I couldn’t respond to them for a few moments. It was like having a seizure, except I don’t suffer from epilepsy. I’m a trauma survivor.

It’s embarrassing to have these traumatic flashbacks from triggers because most often, you cannot talk about what’s happening in your brain afterwards.

I mean who wants to share with their boss that you just had a vivid trauma memory about being gangraped? Or held at knife point? Or witnessed someone being strangled? It’s painful and far to private to be shared with anyone.

This is why trauma survivors suffer alone. But the pain is real. We are not mentally ill. We are traumatized and the pain can be healed by people showing kindness and compassion.

I’ve had all these memories in public situations. I know how it feels and embarrassment is top of my list.

It’s in the silent grief that never had a name because you were too young to understand what was happening to you. But your body remembers everything, including how you felt.

Fear
The pain
The shame
The guilt

Every emotion under the planet couldn’t explain what was going on in your head.

The symptoms that were never seen by a doctor and were dismissed untreated. You learned that you didn’t matter and it’s still a feeling you struggle with every day.

The silence that threatens to overcome every thought and action, which can suck out the air of the room in a nano second. (Yeah, you’re not sure about that one, but it’s there.)

The exhaustion that comes from trying to heal in a world where trauma has become the daily grind, but nobody does anything to acknowledge that it exists.

Why?

How do you function after reliving a memory like that?

I can tell you, it’s not easy because I’m living this life. As the years go by, the memories fade a little, and the worst of them don’t return in such horrific detail. Yet, they still return.

Does anyone care anymore about trauma survivors?

I do, and I see people’s pain. I don’t just see it; I feel it because I’ve lived with the same heaviness and grief for too long. I recognize it as a pair of comfortable sneakers that fit your body just right.

Except seeing people’s pain is nothing like those sneakers. It hurts to see someone in pain, and I want to help. Take away the pain so that nobody feels it the way I do.

When words aren’t enough to help my wounded soul, I turn to nature. I sit by the ocean and tune into the sea breeze. I listen to the sound of the waves and the sand as they meet. I hear the birds and creatures comforting screech.

Nature is where we come from.

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

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The Power of Your Breath

Elizabeth Woods — Tue, 21 Jul 2026 10:00:00 +0000

Did you know that your breath is the fastest way to calm down when you are feeling dysregulated?

Nobody is immune from stress, regardless of age and we all have one thing in common — we react. How we react to stress is different for everyone, but there is a simple way we can all calm:

Through breathing

I see the way stress affects those around me. In my colleagues, my students and my own family and friends. None of us are good at juggling too many things, but many of us do.

I know I do. I take on too much and then I wonder how I’m going to get through it all.

Most of us forget that one of the most powerful tools that you have available is your breath. Breathing happens whether you think about it or not. It’s automatic, like a car engine stuck in gear.

Your breath is vital to keep you alive. Everything in your body is dependent on it. Without breathing, we would die within minutes.

When you are stressed, your breath often gets faster and shallow while your body goes through physical changes to cope with stress. It releases hormones to prepare your body for fight or flight to combat the situation.

Slowing down your breathing is the quickest way to calm down and get your body to go back into “safe mode.”

There are many benefits of doing regular simple breathing exercises to relieve anxiety, emotional overwhelm, panic attacks and improve your sleep.

As a trauma survivor, I have used many types of breathing techniques when I’m feeling overwhelmed or triggered.

I want to share these with you.

Five Finger Breathing

This is something you can easily do anytime and anywhere. I use this all the time and I’ve taught it to my students. Even kindergartners can do it.

Spread out one of your hands so that you have room between your fingers. (A little like reaching the keys on a piano). I usually start from the bottom of my thumb but you can start from your little finger, if that feels more natural.

How it works:

Put your index finger at the base of your thumb then trace your index up the thumb as you breathe in. Hold your breath to the count of 1,2,3 then exhale as you trace your index down the other side of your thumb. Keep breathing in and out as you move your index from your fingers to your little finger.

Star Breathing

This one is similar to the five finger breathing, but instead of tracing your fingers, you trace the shape of a star in the air. You can even do it on a piece of paper if it works better for you.

How it works:

Inhale on each line of your star shape, tracing up with your index. Hold for 1,2,3. Then exhale going down. Repeat as many times as you need to.

Tracing shapes or familiar symbols is repetitive and will slow down your racing thoughts and giving you focus.

Box Breathing (4–4–4–4)

This technique is repetitive and steady, which should help calm those racing thoughts in no time. It’s a great one to try if you simply cannot calm down and your breathing is almost out of control. This works if you stick to the times four rule.

How it works:

Breathe in for four seconds. Hold for four seconds. Breathe out for four seconds. Hold for four seconds. Repeat.

Belly Breathing

This is a technique that requires you to sit down or stand. Choose a space where you feel comfortable and won’t be disturbed for a few minutes.

How it works:

Put one of your hands on your belly and breathe in slowly through your nose. Take notice of how your body feels as your lungs fill with air. Hold to the count of 1,2,3. Then exhale through the mouth.

The 4,7, 8 Breathing Technique

This technique is great for reducing anxiety and panic attacks quickly. It’s helped me several times when I’ve felt this way.

It’s simple and you can do it anywhere and at anytime. I’ve noticed that not many people are even aware when I’m doing it. I’ve done it in meetings, in elevators, the mall, and even in the food market.

How it works:

Inhale to the count of 1,2,3 and 4. Hold your breath for 7 seconds. Then exhale to the count of 8 seconds.

Rainbow Breathing

This technique works best when you either stand up with a straight back. I’ve done this while sitting cross-legged too, but it only works when your back is straight.

How it works:

Imagine that you are drawing an invisible rainbow above your head.

Inhale as you spread both arms out wide and lift them into an arc above your head. Hold to the count of three. Then exhale as you let your arms down slowly into their normal position by your sides.

The Shoulder Drop Technique

This technique is good if you are feeling tense or angry. You can do it anywhere but if you’re conscious of prying eyes, privacy is best.

How it works:

You simply inhale as you lift both shoulders. Hold for a few seconds. The relax your shoulders while you exhale. Repeat as many times as you need and focus on the out breath. With every breath, you will start feeling your body becomes less tense.

A final note:

Being stressed is not a nice feeling, and most of us feel that way every day. There’s just too much going on. By trying out these simple and quick techniques, you will start feeling much better.

I know they all worked for me.

I hope you will start to feel the difference in your body too, as your body regains its equilibrium.

Which one will you try first?

Let me know which one has helped you the most.

Take care

Remember, you matter.

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

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What Do Your Clothes Say About You?

Elizabeth Woods — Thu, 16 Jul 2026 10:00:00 +0000

I was helping one of my friends move house recently. We’ve been friends since college, and she asked me to help her box some of her old stuff for the movers.

Her teenage girls were packing up their clothes, and I couldn’t help hearing some of their conversation. They talked about how they looked in different outfits and what other kids wore at school.

What do your clothes say about you?

Do you wear smart suits to work, or can you turn up in more relaxed outfits?

What type of clothes do you feel most comfortable wearing?

I have boys, and I don’t have the same clothes conversations with my kids. They wear comfortable clothes that they can play sports in and get dirty. Maybe this is where boys and girls differ the most?

Helping my friend pack up her things made me think about what we value and what we choose to throw away.

The years go by as we change jobs, careers, and have kids. We go through phases of happiness and sadness, and our clothes change with us. I guess fashion has little to do with it as well when trends come and go.

Women change sizes during pregnancy because of the “baby weight.” After the baby is born, it can take months, even years to get back to the pre-kids’ figures, especially if you breastfeed.

I find it interesting to look at what people wear in public and how it differs for those who must wear smart clothes to work. I often wonder what goes through people’s minds when they choose some clothes over others.

You’ve seen the moms wearing athletic gear, pretending they still have the same bodies from years before. Teens wear pants that hang down to their ankles and show their underwear. Other teens walk around with miniskirts and so much make-up; you can’t tell what’s fake or real.

Do we really need to see that much cleavage, or that much skin?

It makes me wonder what goes through their minds. What makes people choose loafers over sneakers, tank tops over T-shirts, or pants over dresses?

Psychology Explains: Your clothing choices function as silent language

Did you know that your clothes really do reveal your personality, values, mood, and social identity to the world?

Yep, it’s true and here’s how it works.

Clothing as self-expression

Did you know that the colors you choose can elevate your mood and enhance your self-confidence?

It’s true that different color hues affect your emotions and feelings including your perception of the world. Bold colors, for example, can make you feel energetic and more assertive whereas softer and muted colors can create a calm and friendly vibe.

What color is your closet mostly made up of? Do you prefer black and grey over pastels, or do you mix it up? Do you wear florals, bold colors, and patterns, or are you more of a plain and simple clothing person? Do you accessorize with bold earrings and jewelry?

Clothes are more than just different materials that look good (or not) when you wear them. They express who you are to the world without words.

Every clothing choice that you make, from style and color to the way they fit your body sends subtle messages about your personality, confidence, and mood. Even the accessories you choose can give people a clue of what you are feeling that day.

I never thought that my clothes mattered that much until I became a mom. Until then I was sporty and wore clothes in which I could exercise. I noticed how new babies got people’s attention and opened conversations with big smiles. It made me want to look nice too.

I’m sure you’ve had many events and occasions where you wanted to make a good impression on the world. Wearing nice clothes can brighten up your day.

Style and Personality Types

There are many different types of dressers that say different things about your personality.

The classic Dresser

This is someone who wears tailored suits and neutral grounded colors. This style shows a practical and reliable person who has a structure and methodical life.

The Bold and Eclectic Dresser

This is the person who wears bright colors, big patterns, and unconventional combinations. This type of dresser reflects a creative individual who wants to stand out.

The Minimalist Dresser

This is the simple and functional dresser who prefers muted and grounded tones, with a focus on toned down elegance.

The Bohemian or Free-Spirited Dresser

This is a relaxed and open individual who chooses to dress in loose, flowing garments and eclectic accessories. They are often open and unique personality types.

Social Perception

Research has proven that people form impressions of people within seconds based on the clothes you wear. Clothes that fit your body shape well, can make you seem more confident, successful, and competent. Even if the person who notices you knows nothing about you, your clothes carry a vibe.

The way you dress can also influence how other people become aware of your social status, attention to detail, and personality. This makes clothing a powerful tool for non-verbal communication.

Imagine if you are giving a speech at a conference about a topic that you know well but you’ve never spoken to a room of hundreds of people before. The way you dress can help you with your confidence and get people to listen.

Mood and Psychological Impact

Your closet can affect your own emotions and behavior too. Wearing comfortable clothes is great to give you a sense of security, while dressing smartly can boost confidence and influence how you socialize with others.

The way you dress reflects subconscious desires, mood, or the image you want to give those around you.

If you have a big presentation at work, think about what you’re wearing and what message it conveys to your audience. You don’t want your boss to ogle your cleavage for the entire meeting!

Takeaway

When you understand what your clothes communicate to others, you can make intentional choices that work with your personality and goals. Whether you want to express creativity, professionalism, or comfort, your closet can serve as a visual narrative of your identity, which shapes your self-image and how others perceive you.

I looked at my own closet when I got home, and my clothes said a lot about the person that I am. Like my positive and happy personality, I wear colors, floral, dresses, and pants. I don’t worry about what I wear because I buy my clothes for comfort and to make me feel good about myself. I wear smart clothes at work and more comfortable clothes when I get home.

I wasn’t always this person. When I was younger, my clothes hung on me like a burlap sack. I dressed that way so that people couldn’t see my female shape so they would leave me alone. I also wore mostly dark colors that didn’t stand out.

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

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Mental Health Matters
What Do You Overcome Every Day?
What is Your Inspiration?
How Do You Manage Your Stress Levels?

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Behaviors Caused By Trauma

Elizabeth Woods — Mon, 06 Jul 2026 10:00:00 +0000

You Can’t Run Away From Your Own Head

Human beings are like an iceberg. We go through life sharing only the pieces of ourselves that we want people to see. But there’s so much more going on inside.

Isaac Newton’s third law states that: “for every action (force) in nature there is an equal and opposite reaction.” I think that this “law of motion” can be applied to human beings too.

Think about it.

For everything we say, think, or do, there is a corresponding reaction. In terms of Stress on the body, this is true. When something traumatic happens to us or to someone near us, we react to defend ourselves.

It’s a defense mechanism to protect us from harm.

In victims of traumatic stress, there is a physiological change that happens inside our bodies.

I described the five F’s of behavior in response to traumatic events in my last two articles. Today, I want to explain what those behaviors are like in real life.

There’s always going to be a difference between academic study of trauma and for those who live with PTSD or Complex-PTSD every single day.

I fall under the second category, and I can help other survivors because I have lived with Complex PTSD for most of my life.

It’s far from easy, but as time goes by, things have gotten easier.

I often feel like I have an anchor holding me back on a bad day or night. I want to keep going, ignore whatever’s eating me, but I can’t.

Sometimes, you have to face what’s eating you, and it usually means to stop whatever it is you’re doing and listen to your body.

The world keeps spinning whether you want it to or not when you’re struggling. It’s worth having a few coping techniques stowed away for a trigger day.

I have these triggers all the time, but even my closest colleagues have no idea that I’m falling apart some days.

I’ve gotten very good at hiding how I really feel.

Living with Traumatic Stress

Traumatic events change the way you look at yourself and the world. Your brain can go into overdrive, and it can make you hyper-aware of everything around you.

This can cause some big changes in your behavior.

Living with trauma can feel like your world has been ripped away from under your feet. Nothing feels the same anymore, and you are plunged into a world of constant fear, anxiety, and overwhelming situations.

Living with trauma can feel like a constant battle to function. Some days, it’s hard to get out of bed. Taking a shower and eating can become a huge battle because self-care is the last thing on your mind.

It’s hard to face your friends and go out when the stress from trauma is clouding your thoughts and motivation.

Holding down a job can become impossible when constant nightmares and trauma memories happen, destroying your focus and memory.

Imagine if you had an epic nightmare of being murdered or tortured. Your brain is reliving parts of your past, which is showing a 4D movie without a pause button.

How could you function at work the next day?

Imagine a friend is waving a knife around while talking animatedly over a kid’s birthday cake. It’s an exciting event with kids running around the room and adults having fun talking to each other, but you’re frozen staring at that knife as the room dulls. The voices disappear, and you’re pulled back in time to a trauma memory, hijacked by your own brain.

As you come out of the flashback, it’s hard not to react without causing a scene.

You can suffer from brain fog, mood swings, and find change difficult.

Some days, you want to conquer everything all at once, and you feel fantastic, like the bad days never existed.

It’s confusing, right? It’s no wonder people call trauma survivors mentally ill, but it’s far from the truth. Trauma survivors have been hurt in the most profound way, and that hurt has to come out eventually.

Some survivors can flip between hyper-vigilance and dissociation in a few minutes. Imagine living like that every single day?

Everyone reacts differently to traumatic events because of life experience, resilience, and if you have a support system or not.

It’s important to understand that everyone’s healing journey is different. Some survivors heal quickly, but others can struggle all their lives.

Behaviors Caused by Traumatic Stress

Feeling on edge and scanning your surroundings for threats and danger.

Irritability, anger and withdrawing from people.

Avoiding situations that are too painful because they trigger memories.

Feeling worthless, ashamed and distorting our opinions of ourselves and others.

Social situations and cues can feel fragmented and cause problems in forming and keeping friendships.

Anxiety and vulnerability

Depression

Mixed emotions that lead to confusion in situations.

Trust issues because of the fear of being exposed to more pain.

What Help is Available for Trauma survivors?

Therapy — Seeing a therapist can help you find the tools to handle triggers and take control back through coping mechanisms.

Support network — Having a strong network of friends around you.

Self-care – is important to live a healthy life. Things like exercising, mindfulness, relaxation and yoga, and doing a hobby can do wonders to reduce your stress levels.

Medication — Can be helpful for people who are struggling to sleep and those who suffer from anxiety.

Education — Learning about Trauma and how it can affect you enables you to take charge of your healing journey.

Change — Be willing to heal the root cause of your trauma to move forward in your life.

Living with trauma affects every aspect of your life. You’re hurting in the most profound way, and you can’t ignore it forever. It’s time you put yourself first.

I did.

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

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Continued: Trauma and its Effect on the Brain: Beyond Fight, Flight and Freeze States…

Elizabeth Woods — Mon, 29 Jun 2026 10:00:00 +0000

My name’s Lizzy, and I’m a trauma survivor. I write to spread awareness of what it feels like to live after traumatic events and abuse.

I know because I’m living this life. A life after enduring more than a human being should be able to survive.

The five F’s of Trauma Reactions

(No, I’m not writing about the swear word here.)

When a person is exposed to trauma through either threats or dangerous situations, the body releases stress hormones that make physiological changes to protect us.

These changes keep us alert so that we can react to a traumatic situation.

Yesterday, I wrote about the fight/flight and freeze states because those are the three most common ways of responding to traumatic events. I touched on emotional shutdown, too, but I didn’t label it.

We’ve all seen the anger, the inconsolable sadness, and the shutdown in people. These behaviors are sadly part of our everyday lives. I see it in the food market, the mall, the park, and in school.

Trauma is part of our community, our towns and cities, and our world, whether we like it or not. Many of us are still suffering from events that happened years ago, like Hurricane Katrina, and more recently, Helene.

When you are in danger, your body chooses how you react in the moment to keep you alive. It’s instinctive like a survival mechanism.

Do you choose fight, flight, freeze, fawn or flop when you face danger?

A quick recap on the three F’s from yesterday’s article:

Fight State is when you choose to confront whatever is happening to you or around you.

Flight State — Is when you choose to escape to run away from the threat or situation.

Freeze State — Is when you feel paralyzed / frozen and unable to respond in any way.

The Fawn and Flop Reactions to Traumatic Events

There are two more ways that a person can react in response to traumatic events. They are Fawn and Flop states.

The Fawn State is when a person submits to the danger. They become people-pleasing and appeasing their abusers to the detriment of their own needs.

Some traits of fawning include:

Neglecting your personal needs and boundaries
Complimenting excessively, even if it is not authentic
Can’t say “no” and grants every wish and demand of others.
Being a people pleaser
Having no sense of personal identity
Hypervigilance and awareness of others moods and emotions
Neglecting or not knowing your own emotions and feelings
Turns to others to know how the feel or “should” feel
Makes themselves a servant to others like being as helpful and useful as possible
Feeling guilty when not being helpful

The Flop State — This is the state that not many professionals have heard of. I know it well because I used this response when I was very young and I still remember it decades later because of how I felt.

The flop state is the most extreme reaction to traumatic events. It can happen because you are being violently attacked like a child being physically or sexually abused. It can also happen to torture victims when the pain is so severe that you “tune out.”

The Flop state is an involuntary, instinctual reaction to overwhelming terror where the body shuts down, causing physical collapse, fainting, or total mental unresponsiveness.

Some traits of the Flop state include:

Total body collapse

Playing Dead

Mental and physical unawareness — when the traumatized person dissociates and becomes disengaged, disoriented, and emotionally turned off.

Loss of body control — You’re intensely scared and lose control of your bodily functions.

So, what happens inside the brain to cause these physiological reactions to a person?

The role of Cortisol

There’s so much more that happens inside a trauma brain to cause the Fight / Flight/ Freeze / Fawn and Flop states.

When an individual is traumatized, and I mean scared to death, we produce a stress hormone called, Cortisol.

Cortisol is a steroid hormone(nicknamed the stress hormone) that is produced in the adrenal glands just above the kidneys. The function of Cortisol is to regulate stress in our bodies, but it has other jobs too.

Cortisol regulates how your body uses Glucose (sugar) for energy. It regulates your blood pressure and reduces inflammation in the body. Cortisol also helps control your sleep and wake rhythm.

The human body needs Cortisol to regulate and keep us going.

Increased Cortisol Levels wreak havoc in the brain and body

When our Cortisol levels are either too high or too low, we start to feel unwell.

High levels of Cortisol can develop into high blood pressure, high blood sugar, and make us gain weight around the stomach and face. We can also notice muscle weakness in our arms and legs.

Low levels of Cortisol can cause extreme fatigue, weight loss and no appetite as well as low blood pressure.

Increased levels of Cortisol is fine for short periods to get our bodies ready for action, but in a trauma brain, Cortisol levels stay high. This is because your body releases more Cortisol as a response to stress in harmful situations:

Acute Stress — Short-term stress, like an accident.

Chronic Stress — Long-term stress from a demanding job, dysfunctional family life, living in poverty, and having a chronic illness.

Traumatic Stress — Situations that are exceptionally threatening, dangerous and sometimes catastrophic.

Delving Deeper into Traumatic Stress

Traumatic stress is what causes high levels of Cortisol in the body, and because this type of stress doesn’t go away, the body keeps producing the hormone.

Traumatic Stress comes from:

Direct exposure to a horrific situation or event like abuse or torture.

Witnessing people or someone being abused or tortured.

Indirect exposure — Learning of a loved one being abused or tortured.

Occupation — Professions like serving in the Navy / Army / Coast Guard, Police and fire fighters seeing or being assaulted in war and conflicts. Doctors and body guards handling crisis situations.

Seeing a traumatic event on social media like YouTube doesn’t cause the type of stress I’m describing, unless a person works in these situations.

Living with Chronic stress can have a big impact on your life through your overall health, your sleep patterns and your mood.

What can you do to reduce your Cortisol levels if you have been exposed to traumatic stress?

The first and best way to reduce Cortisol is to get good sleep. I mean quality sleep without nightmares and waking up every five minutes. That’s not easy for someone who is affected by traumatic stress.

Exercising and moving your body is another way to remove Cortisol or any excess hormones from the body.

Breath work through deep breathing and yoga can greatly help someone who is feeling stressed.

Socialize with friends and family who make you feel good. Go out and enjoy yourself and laugh deep belly laughs.

Distance yourself from those who don’t make you happy.

I’ve lived through trauma and come out the other side. This is what it feels like to live with trauma for years and sometimes decades after the events. Now, you will recognize these traits and behaviors in your world.

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

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Looking Back: Mother’s Day Hurts

Elizabeth Woods — Fri, 26 Jun 2026 17:00:00 +0000

This post looks back at the recent US Holiday, “Mothers Day”, and the challenges it creates for survivors of trauma with a mother wound.

How are you feeling today?

Do you have a complex relationship with today being Mother’s Day?

I know I do, and I thought I’d write this piece for those of you who feel the same. Those of you who didn’t have loving mothers.

Not all mother’s deserve to be celebrated on this day.

I wish I could say that I had a good mother, but the truth is I didn’t.

My mother told me repeatedly that I was unwanted and she wished I had died when I was born.

There was a mother in the hospital bed next to hers, who gave birth to twins too early. Both boys didn’t make it. My mother wished I had died with them since I was born early too.

But I survived.

She offered to take me to their gravestone several times. To show me what should have happened to me too.

To be profoundly unwanted leaves a mark like no other. It’s imprinted in my soul.

I cannot celebrate a mother who wished me dead.

I’ve spent all my life getting away from my parents because they both hurt me in the most profound way through physical and emotional abuse and neglect.

Not only did my mother not want me, but she openly encouraged my so-called father to do the things he did to me. My mother knew, and yet she handed me to him. Gave her permission for him to hurt me.

A mother who hands her only daughter to a sex-offender doesn’t deserve to be celebrated.

When I told her what my so-called father did to me with his pedophile friends — she laughed in my face. She called me a liar with a vivid imagination. That it was my fault.

That is unforgivable.

I cannot celebrate a mother like that today.

My so-called father and his pedophile friends raped and killed a ten-year old girl next to me. I was only eight when it happened.

A week later, I witnessed a twenty-seven year old woman be raped and drowned.

I told my mother, but she wouldn’t listen.

I cannot celebrate a mother who covers up murderers.

I cannot celebrate a mother like that today.

I was bullied throughout school because we moved away from the south but my accent wouldn’t change. I didn’t belong, and the kids showed me how much they hated me every day.

I was punched, kicked and my clothes were scorched while I was still wearing them. My burns got infected, but mother would not take me to the doctor. We had no insurance, so I was left to suffer.

A mother who allows her daughter to be bullied and physically hurt doesn’t deserve to be called a mother.

I cannot celebrate a mother like that today.

When I miscarried my father’s secrets, my mother refused to get me help. I’m lucky to be alive today, after suffering the pain of three miscarriages without medical help.

My mother let me suffer the pain and the shame without any help. She turned away when I needed her the most.

I cannot celebrate a mother like that today.

She wanted me gone from her house, to have her new husband and baby son to herself. I was too young to work and I had no other choice but to stay.

A mother who rejects her child is not a mother.

I cannot celebrate a mother like that today.

When I was eighteen the law stated that I was no longer a minor. My childhood prison was lifted and I left them and everything I’d ever known.

I’ve never looked back.

I started my life again in a new place.

A new home.

I went to the cops and told my story. The sex-factories. The pedophile ring — everything I saw and suffered. The cops listened. They made lengthy records and tapes. They got my hospital records. My childhood years pried wide open. In the end it’s my word against them.

The police advised against going to court. Who will believe my voice?

I told my mother what I had done. She refused to believe me despite everything.

I cannot celebrate a mother who doesn’t believe the truth.

I cannot celebrate a mother like that today.

I studied at college and became a teacher. My writing was still something I kept to myself. I met somebody special.

I married him and we had children.

I never thought my body could produce one child, let alone two healthy babies. I see them as the most precious gift that I was given.

I am a mother who give my children everything I can.

I love them both deeply and I remind them of that every single day.

I talk to them about their lives, about school and their struggles. I help them with homework and problems. We figure it out together as a family.

Today is mother’s day.

I can celebrate myself as a mother with my family.

I can celebrate me.

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

Photo by Dmitry Shulga on Unsplash

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Trauma and Its Effect on the Brain

Elizabeth Woods — Mon, 22 Jun 2026 10:00:00 +0000

Have you ever been curious about why, and how trauma survivors react to events, and other situations differently from others?

As a trauma survivor, I started questioning why I am the way I am in certain situations. I have noticed all my life that most people around me do not react as vividly to situations as I do. I often wondered why I was so sensitive to situations.

Have you ever felt the same? Do you feel that you notice stressful things quicker than others?

I decided to act on my curiosity and started reading about trauma and the brain. I came across several books, expert scientists, and psychiatrists in the field who talked about trauma, and the effect stress has on the brain.

The more I found out, the more I wanted to read, and I thought I would share some of what I discovered. As a trauma survivor, my brain is different from a person who has not suffered trauma. Reading about how my brain is different has helped me understand myself on a deeper level.

Maybe my research can help you too?

So, what is Trauma?

Trauma is when a person experiences a distressing event or series of events, such as abuse, a bad accident, rape or other sexual violence, army combat or even a natural disaster.

Trauma can be either physical, emotional, or both. Trauma causes dysregulation within the autonomic nervous system in the brain. It makes the sympathetic nervous system in the brain over-activated, causing the traumatized person to go into what is called a “fight/flight” response.

This response of fight/flight means that your body tenses up, and gets ready to react in times of stress.

Trauma also causes the parasympathetic part of our brains, the part that is responsible for our ability to rest and relax after a traumatic event, to become underactive. Our bodies go into a hypervigilance state and the inability to feel comfortable and relaxed.

This in turn leads to PTSD or CPTSD.

For people who develop CPTSD, trauma can most often be both physical and emotional because of the nature of how abuse happens. Often a survivor has been experiencing trauma for a prolonged time, even years.

A CPTSD brain

A survivor of child sexual abuse has unprocessed memories that are highly emotionally charged and easily triggered.

A survivor often thinks about and tries to interpret and make sense of their traumatic memories.

A survivor has different cognitive and behavioral responses to normal life events and these include avoidance of certain situations and strategies to keep safe in any eventuality.

A survivor suffers from flashbacks rather than “memories”.

A flashback is an intense, vivid, and often disturbing recollection of the abuse. A person relives the abuse as if the memory is happening right here and now.

Flashbacks are often fragmentary, sensory, and unchanging in vivid detail. I know this because I developed CPTSD after my traumatic childhood, and I have lived with flashbacks all my adult life.

It is stressful to live with constant flashbacks because not only does it feel like it is happening now, but a flash happens involuntarily. It suddenly hits you like a bucket of ice water, and you might be in a board meeting with your boss!

It is never a pleasant experience no matter where you are, or who you are with. It is even worse when you are alone.

Memories vs Trauma Memories

A normal memory in a normal brain is time-stamped in a part of our brain called the Hippocampus. This is where all of our long-term memories are stored. They are accessible to our conscious recall, and they can be reconstructed.

We know this memory is from the past, and we can summon it and talk about it with anyone. For example: “Remember when we had ice cream on the beach, and then it started to rain hailstones as big as golf balls?” We instantly return to that memory and can share it openly with others.

A trauma memory is caused by extreme stress. This is also stored in the Hippocampus like a normal memory, but the difference is that the Hippocampus cannot properly process the traumatic memory and store it away.

This memory is not date-stamped, and a different part of our sensory brain, called the amygdala, takes over the function of processing these traumatic memories.

The amygdala, part of our brain, is only supposed to sort out our responses to senses like sound, sight, touch, taste, and smell. It is not able to deal with the full nature of the trauma memory. It becomes overactive under the conditions of extreme stress from our traumatic experiences.

The trauma memory becomes vividly detailed, and easily triggered. I often think of a trauma brain as a bookshelf. A bookshelf that has been stacked improperly is like a CPTSD brain. When someone brushes past the books sticking out, a memory gets triggered, and the books (memories) come tumbling out of the shelves.

Sometimes a person is flooded with senses without explanation, other times its just meaningless fragments, and sometimes the entire shelf falls, and we get soaked by the waterfall of vivid memories as the books tumble out noisily.

The next time a trigger happens the books (memories) fall more and more aggressively. The only way to stop the books (memories) from tumbling down is to have a good tidy. These traumatic memories need a gentle examination by the conscious brain, processing them in a safe environment and storing them back safely in the correct part of the brain.

The Survival mode brain — Fight / Flight

When your trauma memories have reached the Amygdala for processing rather than in the correct part of the brain, which is the Hippocampus, you start to live in survival mode.

It feels like living constantly in the “on” position of a switch ,and you just cannot turn “off”. You are feeling very reactive to the world. You are defensive about everything and sometimes even aggressive about the things you care about.

In this state, you avoid certain situations, and you often feel unable to trust the people around you. In this state, you are stuck, and you feel powerless to the extreme changes in how your body reacts to stress.

Some survivors switch from being hyper-aroused (jittery and switched on) to hypo-aroused (numb and withdrawn).

The Everyday CPTSD brain

Survivors of trauma, like me, often tend to over-focus on perceived threats, and this can make it hard to directly focus on everyday things. A sudden loud noise outside the office can make anyone feel annoyed, but to a trauma survivor, it can feel like a threat. That threat, no matter if it is real or not causes the CPTSD brain to react in a fight/flight way, tensing the body.

This problem is linked to reduced connectivity in the brain’s attention system, called the Ventral and Dorsal networks. How these are performed is linked to our trauma experiences in early life.

The Ventral system is responsible for our involuntary attention. The Dorsal system is our voluntary attention. Oxytocin is a hormone called a neurotransmitter,;produced in the hypothalamus part of the brain. This hormone helps to regulate and improve our ability to bond with other people.

When a survivor is stuck in a fight/flight state for a very long time, it makes the body have lots of energy from being hyper-alert. The body is in need of being downregulated, or calming down the nervous system.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, recognize how your heart is beating.

Is your pulse racing after that flashback?

Take a beat and give yourself time. You need to take it slow, and take care of yourself. Go grab that coffee you’ve been postponing for the last two hours. Hold that warm cup in your hand and let it ground you to the moment. You’ve got this!

The “Freeze state”

Sometimes the trauma causes so much pain and stress that you react by freezing. This is especially true after being sexually abused. Your body becomes immobile.

It feels like being in deep despair, and you feel totally helpless in that moment. You can’t move, or talk and your whole body freezes. Your brain may be physically and mentally unresponsive, and you might faint.

You suffer what is called a psychological shutdown. The body remembers the trauma, and it stores the stress in the muscles all-round the body, which becomes trapped and unable to dissipate. Years later when you flashback to a particularly traumatic event, especially sexual, you re-live this freeze state.

When you come out of this state and return to the present you will feel unwell. You may even be physically sick. I often remember being sick after being abused as a child, and falling asleep in my own vomit.

I can only compare this feeling to coming out of anesthesia after an operation. It needs to be done gradually.

Suffering any kind of shutdown is terrifying, and this is when you need to give yourself time. Time to be compassionate with yourself is important. Let someone take care of you if you have a friend nearby. If anything, they will probably be worried about you.

When this has happened to me, I first do an internal body check. Yes, I’m still me, my heart is beating, and I can see, hear, touch, and feel things. I like to have lots of air and quiet space, so I go outside and breathe. I like to ground myself to the now and let my body adjust back to the fact that I am safe in the present moment. I remind myself of my name, the year, and how old I am. I finish by thinking about where I am and what has happened in my day so far, and where to go next.

The ritual really works for me.

Why don’t you try it out and let me know if it works for you too?

Do you have a “safe place” where you can escape for a few minutes and take a beat? Somewhere you feel calm and happy? This is where you need to be after a tricky day. Take care of yourself because you matter.

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

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Understanding Trauma is not About the Past… It’s about YOU in the Present

Elizabeth Woods — Tue, 16 Jun 2026 10:00:00 +0000

“You cannot heal from trauma by understanding things intellectually.” Gabor Mate, Ennea Summit 2026.

I’ve been lucky to come across a free 90-minute Webinar with Dr. Gabor Mate, and have been consuming it for the past three days. Dr. Gabor Mate has launched a new program on how to heal from trauma through go.mentorshow.com. It’s a program for trauma survivors, and I recommend that you check it out if you are struggling with any trauma.

Dr. Gabor Mate asks: What do you feel?

Anger

Sad

Fear

Shame

Happy

Dr. Gabor Mate says that you can feel all kinds of emotions, but there could be trauma lurking behind them as well.

You will know if this is you because you feel it. Trauma is your response to what happened to you, whether from experiences such as child abuse, domestic violence, divorce, an accident, a war zone, or the loss of a loved one.

Trauma is everywhere in our society right now: we know this because we are living with it. You can’t help but encounter something distressing in the world or at home, because it is everywhere on social media and in the news. It is constantly reported, with photos and video coverage — happening in 3D whether you choose to ignore it or not.

The way you respond to traumatic events is your personal trauma. It’s what you feel inside your body, mind, and heart.

I agree with Dr. Gabor Mate. Many of us trauma survivors manage our daily lives by wearing masks to cover up our emotions. And the majority of us are awesome at doing it. In fact, we are so great at wearing our masks that we suppress what we really feel.

Think about it…

How often have you said yes to something that you don’t want to do?

How many times have you stuck your neck out for someone who went against your personal desires? Like giving them a ride in the opposite direction of where you needed to be, making yourself late in the process.

How often do you put others before yourself?

Do you ever put yourself first?

I’ve done it, and I’m still doing it after years of therapy. I know better, and yet I’m still doing it.

There comes a point when you’ve got to take charge of your own healing together with a therapist’s support. This is where I’m at now, and I’ve been doing so for some years.

You can heal from your trauma, too. Check out Dr. Gabor Mate’s latest program on go.mentorshow.com

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.