Elizabeth Woods | CPTSDfoundation.org

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For more about me: https://www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Elizabeth Woods grew up in a world of brutal sex offenders, murderers, and inconceivably neglectful adults. Elizabeth is passionate about spreading awareness of what it is like to survive after trauma. She is the author of several books and has written her memoir, telling her childhood story: The Sex-Offender’s Daughter: A True Story of Survival Against All Odds, available on Amazon Kindle and paperback.

Elizabeth is also the author of “Living with Complex PTSD” and the Cedar’s Port Fiction series: “Saving Joshua”, “Protecting Sarah”, “Guarding Noah” and “Bringing Back Faith,” and “Restoring Hope,” available here: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0BCBZQN7L/allbooks?ingress=0&visitId=7e223b5b-1a29-45f0-ad9d-e9c8fdb59e9c&ref_=ap_rdr&ccs_id=931f96e2-c220-4765-acc8-cc99bb95e8bd

Self-Worth Vs Self-Esteem: Does it really matter how we view ourselves?

Elizabeth Woods — Mon, 04 May 2026 10:00:00 +0000

We don’t often think about ourselves. Most of the time, we don’t take regular breaks at work.

Who cares what you think about yourself?

Well, you do–yes, really. The reason is that you matter, and your presence in this world matters.

Think about the last meaningful conversation that you had with someone. What happened, and how did you leave it? Did you feel happy about it, or not?

Why did you feel that way?

Everything you do in life matters, and believe it or not, people do pay attention.

Think about the last time you made a stupid mistake. How quickly did people notice and comment? Did someone make a joke at your expense?

How about the last time you did something amazing–like getting your first year sober, or passing an exam? People notice these things and want to celebrate your successes.

I used to think no one noticed me, but when I looked for evidence, I found clear examples of people hearing, seeing, and noticing me.

My point is, we don’t often pause and think about ourselves because we are too busy. But by ignoring our feelings, we miss more than we can ever consider.

Think about someone who makes you happy. It could be a family member or a good friend.

What’s special about them? What do you value in them?

Do they have a great sense of humor? Maybe they’re a good listener, or someone with positive energy? Perhaps you value their kindness the most? Maybe they have some other qualities that sets them apart from others.

Someone told me recently that they like being with me because “I made them feel seen,” because I listen.

Now turn those same questions to yourself.

What’s special about you? What qualities do people value in you? What type of friend and colleague are you? What sets you apart from others?

What comments do you get from people?

How do you feel about yourself? Is your answer positive, balanced, or negative?

How do you think your perceptions affect your life?

Self-worth vs. self-esteem

These two words sound similar, but they do have different meanings.

Self-worth is the way you value yourself. It is the way you believe in yourself–that you are good enough to receive love, respect, and kindness from other people.

People with low self-esteem generally have a negative view of themselves. They are usually quick to judge or evaluate themselves by criticizing their own actions, brushing off compliments, and focusing on mistakes.

Living without self-worth makes is very difficult to put yourself first. For example, you may not go for that opportunity because you feel other people are better than you. You might stay in an abusive relationship because you don’t feel that you deserve better from life.

You are the one who initiates what happens in your life. It all starts with you. Your overall health is important because it affects the ways in which you feel, think, and behave.

Having low self-worth puts you at risk for many health conditions, like anxiety and depression. Over time, these can lead to problems such as phobias and substance abuse.

Self-esteem relies on external factors like successes and achievements. It can change how you value yourself with life’s ups and downs.

A breakup can make you feel low for weeks–even months afterward. A failed college exam can have a similar effect on your mood and how you see yourself.

An abusive relationship can put a major dent in your self-esteem and make you feel bad about yourself.

Don’t let life bring you down.

It’s time you look up and put yourself first. Who else is going to look out for you?

People who are happy generally have high self-esteem and self-worth. They take greater care of themselves by making better life choices and live fuller lives. They know their own strengths and limitations, and face life’s challenges with resilience.

It’s not selfish to take care of yourself.

Many people struggle with self-worth and self-esteem. The great thing is that you can learn to see yourself in a more positive light with some practice.

Turning it around

Self-compassion is great way to start feeling better about yourself. Start each day by being kind to yourself. Instead of seeing mistakes and flaws, think about yourself the same way as you see your loved ones, and those you value most.

Treat yourself with respect instead of criticizing everything you say and do. Remind yourself every now and again that it’s okay to make mistakes. You’ll soon notice the difference in your attitude.

Take notice of how you are feeling, and own those feelings. You’ll start to feel much more in tune with yourself–and with those around you.

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

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For more about me: https://www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

How To Spot Sexual Abuse in Children

Elizabeth Woods — Mon, 27 Apr 2026 10:00:00 +0000

As a survivor of sexual abuse and horrific trauma, I can attest that it is the worst pain a human being can endure. It feels like being tortured, and in simple terms, it is.

As adults in this day and age, we have the power to stop children from being abused, but many still choose to ignore the obvious. Our children are still suffering at the hands of abusers — even now. It can happen anywhere in the world. It can happen next door in your neighborhood.

We have to be open enough to see what’s going on. Our future generation is at stake here, but we can stop it if we act now.

Child abuse or any type of abuse of another human being should be stopped. The fact that it’s still happening is breaking my heart. I wish I had the power to stop every single one, but I can’t. I need your help.

This article is about spotting those little tell-tale signals that immediately scream that something is not right. I can see abuse from just one look.

A child who is subjected to sexual abuse or any kind of abuse will act differently from their peers.

I know, because I was that child.

It doesn’t matter how frequently abuse happens. A developing brain that has been exposed to trauma will have changed. That child will start to act differently.

The child will use coping mechanisms to survive the trauma any way they can. These coping mechanisms might be the body’s response to what is happening or even a direct threat to carry out a certain behavior by an abuser.

The Frozen child

A deeply traumatized child might suddenly become frozen and withdrawn. or become mute and stare into space (catatonic). They may be sitting with their legs drawn up to their chests and rocking back and forth.

This child is in deep despair and feeling helpless. When a child is in this state, it is unable to communicate because the brain is protecting itself by doing a complete psychological shutdown.

I have been in this state many times, and it is terrifying.

Any child suffering from abuse will build up a strong shell around him / her to survive. They may seem disinterested and rude on the outside, but instead they are deeply hurting inside.

The Control child

A child may display behaviors, such as an innate need to control a situation. They will not trust anyone and be suspicious of new situations. They may seem particularly hypervigilant and may come across as not in control of their bodies; for example, they might display changing emotions in quick succession like anger followed by sadness followed by running away, almost like a traffic light changing colors. The same child may react very oddly to certain situations, like laughing if someone is hurt or starting to cry profusely at a bumblebee that is lying dead in the grass. These are all coping mechanisms from trauma.

The Sudden Change in a Child

A professional looking after children will know them and know if a child suddenly changes behavior, which is a red flag that something is not right. If you suspect something, observe that child at play.

Watch how the child holds itself, how it walks and how it behaves around other children. Watch their language. What does it sound like? Would a normal 6-year-old use “those words” or can you hear something odd?

Notice how the child behaves at pick up and drop off times. What is it like with their caregivers? How does it behave after a long weekend or a vacation?

If anything appears “wrong” you must report it. Start a “behavior journal”. This will build up a true picture of the child. Chances are nothing is going on, but would you be willing to take that risk if something happens?

Avoiding Physical Contact

A child might suddenly hate physical contact or being touched at all. They might even recoil if anyone touches them. A young child might feel so scared and threatened that it hides itself away for long periods.

The child could be sitting under a blanket, hide under a bed, table or behind a sofa or roll up into a ball in a corner sucking a thumb, regressing into baby behavior.

A young child might be overly attached to things like a blanket, pillow or a teddy. Having something soft and tactile could be a small relief for a traumatized child.

An older traumatized child may suddenly seek solitude from everyone and play in an odd way. An older child might want to be left alone, shutting everyone out — alone in their bedroom or in the playground.

The Sudden Artist / Creative child

A child might start creating stories and drawings of the abuse or making up characters who act like abusers. The child might use language that they have been exposed to that contains words a child should not know.

A child who is displaying this type of behavior does not have the language to explain what they are experiencing and will use a medium that they know to make sense of it.

The Child Pushing Physical Limits

A child might suddenly start to push itself excessively hard to the point of collapse, and not realize its body limitations. This is called desensitization.

A child might stay out in the cold and rain too long, not realizing frostbite is forming. In summer weather, that same child might get extremely dirty and not care how they look because no one cares for them.

An older child may be starting to break the limits. What happens if?… Climbing really high trees, racing friends on their bikes, hitting things, and hurting others.

Seeking Roughness in People

An older child may start hanging out with friends who are not appropriate and experiment with drugs and alcohol. They might start spending time with other families and staying out as long as possible. Avoiding going home to their abusers at any cost.

The Self-harming Child

A child is seen torturing themselves (self-harming) with sticks or tools (like knives), making their hands bleed, and developing blisters and bruises on purpose.

This is a big, desperate cry for help. This means the child is on the verge of giving up in a downward spiral of hate and shame for itself and not just the abuser.

The Child Actor

A child acting out the abuse itself anywhere is obviously a massive red flag for anyone, but sometimes this could be more subtle and disguised in their normal play. Like abusing dolls, teddies, or pets, even insects or anything that could be restrained and hurt.

Overall Body Indicators

An abused child may seem strangely jittery, tense and may even use rigid robotic movements and hyper alert of their surroundings. This would be particularly apparent during a change in routine.

Head Constant Aches and Stomach Pains

A child suddenly developing chronic headaches or feeling sick is another sign that all is not well. A child might feel threatened and become paranoid by keeping their eyes on a swivel. These children feel desperately unsafe in their normal environment.

Physical Changes

A child suffering sexual abuse may struggle to sit down if they are a girl. They may suffer from chronic vaginal pain when going to the bathroom. This child may avoid going to the bathroom and ignore their bodily signals, and have wet accidents.

Testing Behavior

An abused child may often copy friends’ rough behavior to see the reactions they get from adults. This child may never have been given boundaries and may have to learn what is good and bad behavior.

Another behavior is to become very angry and be rough with toys, animals, or even their peers. These are called temper tantrums.

Rejecting Common Food Types

A child might suddenly start rejecting certain foods that remind them of sexual abuse like cream, custard, mayonnaise and yogurts.

The People Pleaser

A child who is being abused gets very good at reading people around them and deflecting attention away from them. They may try to seek affirmation from adults that they are ok and “been good”. This child is seeking approval of adults.

Fear and Terror

A child might suddenly get terrified of something, which reminds them of their abuser/s. This might seem completely harmless to everyone else.

A child might start incessant crying or become hysterical over nothing or suddenly become upset at the sight of men with beards or someone with glasses.

All these coping mechanisms are called by the professionals as a “Fight / flight / freeze / Fawn” state of being.

It is a survival state.

This is what happens when the brain’s sympathetic nervous system becomes overactive, which makes the body go into a “fight / flight / fawn and freeze” state. The Amygdala part of the brain becomes hyperactive under the conditions of extreme stress like traumatic experiences. The memory gets “stuck in this part of the brain in vivid detail until it is triggered years later.

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

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For more about me: https://www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

How Meditation Can Help Your Busy Mind to Unwind

Elizabeth Woods — Mon, 20 Apr 2026 10:00:00 +0000

We’re all busy and juggle work with our personal lives. Some manage this better than others and float through the every day. Other people don’t have it all figured out 24/7.

Everyone has bad days.

When our lives get busy, we need a reboot.

“Well, I don’t have time for a reboot,” you say.

I say, “Everyone needs to take a time out for their own mental health. One of the ways is to incorporate meditation into your day/week.”

Hear me out.

Meditation is something I’ve tried to avoid for years. I simply didn’t believe in sitting with my legs crossed and chanting words I couldn’t pronounce. I thought it was a waste of time, and that I could devote my precious minutes doing something far more productive.

My therapist has mentioned meditation as a way of relaxing for years. I kept saying I’d do it, but I know I won’t.

Then something happened.

I had another “run in” with a colleague who got jealous of the way I helped a child at my school. She insulted me. It’s not the first time this colleague has given me her opinions, and if I’m honest, I’m getting tired of being spoken to like I’m a nobody.

I got angry and took myself away to have a cry in the restroom rather than say something to the colleague that I’ll regret later.

My friend found me crying, and we talked about how I can rise above it. She gave me a challenge to help me through my anger with the colleague who upset me.

My friend asked me to try a meditation challenge to help calm my brain and focus on what makes me happy.

My friend was right. Meditation does help to calm the mind and focus on what truly matters. YOU. YOU MATTER.

I’ve now tried meditation, and it can be whatever you want it to be.

You can meditate with a YouTube video talking you through relaxation techniques.

You can meditate with a Podcast in your earbuds on your commute to work.

Meditation doesn’t have to be a chore. It can be tailored to your needs, where you are.

Meditation simply means reflecting on and contemplating your reality. You don’t have to sit with your legs crossed and hum in a foreign language if you don’t want to. (You might want to try it) You can sit however you want to sit, as long as you’re comfortable.

When you focus on your breathing and clear your mind of anything else, you focus inwards.

Meditation often includes a deep-breathing exercise. This is what I struggled with because I didn’t know the power of “the breath” in the body.

Taking a time-out to do some deep breathing is beneficial when you are stressed. You cannot help but calm down when you become aware of your breath going in and out of your body, and feel your heart beating.

Deep breathing simply means becoming aware of your inner body. This awareness then focuses your mind on your thoughts.

When you meditate, you might focus your thoughts on a problem, or your own needs. It’s your chance to think about what truly matters to you in your life. To think deeply about something.

Here are some questions that you could think about when you meditate:

Who are you in this moment?

How do you feel?

What do you want from your life?

Imagine that you have everything you want. What does it look / feel like?

The Benefits of Meditation

It’s a simple but fast way to reduce stress in your body and instill calm. It has been proven that it reduces the stress hormone, cortisol in your body, and decreases your Amygdala’s activity in your brain. (The Amygdala’s main function is to process emotions and link emotional responses to memory).
It increases your self-awareness and your emotional regulation. You focus your thoughts and understand them better. This then gives you a better mental clarity before you react to a problem or situation.
Improves focus and memory. Thinking deeply about something leads to clarity and attention to what you feel.
Helps managing depression. By being more in tune with your body and your emotions.
Increases your empathy and relationships. Through deep thinking about situations, you become more empathetic with others. You will also feel a stronger connection with others.
Overall mental health. You will feel more at peace within yourself and your surroundings.
It can help manage long-term conditions, like PTSD and IBS. For more information, here is an article from the University of California:

I gave meditation a shot, and I’m reaping the rewards after doing it every day. Sure, I’m still busy with juggling my family/work and my last two months of my MFA degree. I still manage to carve out a few minutes each day to focus on me.

After meditating, I’m calmer, and I feel happier in myself. I feel more assertive about what I want for myself, and I don’t let other people’s issues get me down. I let any insults wash over me like a pebble in a waterfall because I matter, and my life matters.

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

Photo Credit: Unsplash

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Support your fellow writer:

https://medium.com/activated-thinker/looking-for-a-change-f391e85abbd7

Here are a few links to my top articles:

Looking for a Change?

A Search for Identity

https://medium.com/beyond-lines/a-search-for-identity-893df7c970c2

Are You Searching for Peace?

https://medium.com/illumination/are-you-searching-for-peace-cd54d76231c8

For more about me: https://www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Are You a Positive Thinker? The Benefits of a Positive Mind

Elizabeth Woods — Tue, 14 Apr 2026 10:00:00 +0000

Hey, how are you doing today? Can you remember your first thoughts this morning? Was it a positive thought about your day ahead?

Our world is full of negativity right now. It can be hard to tune everything out that’s going on in the news and in our cities.

Did you know how you think can affect your health and outlook in life? It sounds weird, and I was skeptical too before I thought about my own life.

Positive thinking breeds a positive outlook on life. Many of us naturally default to negative thoughts. We can spend days feeling down and moody about things. It’s not good for our health to be negative all the time.

What if I told you that it doesn’t have to be that way? That if you changed the way you think by only a little bit, you can feel better.

Positive thinking is not magic, but it works — and I’m living proof.

I spent years feeling invisible and hurt after living through trauma. Nobody appeared to see the true me. I fought to rewire my brain and ignore comments from people that wanted to put me down. Even though life was not going my way at the time, I forced myself to think positively instead of focusing on the negative situation I was in.

Little by little, I started clawing back my own sanity and myself.

Here are my proven ways to tackle negativity through positive thinking

Positive glimmers. No matter how small they might be, look for them, even in negative situations. If a friend cancels on you, think about the time you gain to focus on other things. Your friend will still be there for another day.
Gratitude. Focus on the good things that are happening in your life and be grateful for them — no matter how small. At one point in my life, I was feeling thankful for dry clothes because I had spent many days being soaking wet in the rain.
Choose who you spend your time with. Surround yourself with people who are happy and energize you. There is nothing wrong with spending time with friends who are down on their luck, but if they are the only people you see, then you will also be zapped of energy and gloom. Seek out those friends who nurture you and give you something in return. That’s where you will find positivity.
Humor. Allow yourself to laugh every now and then.
Positive self-talk. Did you know that how you talk to yourself can have a big impact on how you feel and act? It’s true that if you keep telling yourself that you are “worthless” and “stupid,” then you will start to feel that way. How about changing the narrative to “I’m not good at this yet,” or “I think I need more practice.” I use this self-talk often with my own kids and those who I teach when they tell me “They can’t do it.” I always challenge this by “How about you say, you can’t do it yet, but you will.”
Identify where you tend to think negative thoughts. If you can’t think of one, ask a friend or your partner. I’m sure they can help you with this. Once you know where you are negative about yourself, you can tackle it. Challenge why you feel that way. What is the proof?
Journaling. Write your thoughts down, especially those negative thoughts. If you have the same negative thoughts, you will soon notice a pattern, and you can do something about it. Positive thoughts are nice to note down and if you are feeling down, a nice read to take that “frown upside down.” (Can you tell I teach first graders?)
Wake up each morning with a positive thought or act. I do this often, and it can be as simple as telling yourself that, “your day will be great.” I usually take this a step further, and I compliment those around me. “I like your shirt,” or “what a nice color.” Giving somebody a compliment doesn’t just make other people feel good, but I enjoy it too.

When you start focusing on a more positive outlook in your life, you will start to notice subtle changes.

You will feel better within yourself and in how you act around other people.

You will notice that your energy levels are higher than before and you can focus better on things.

Your mental and physical well-being improve, and you have less sick days and headaches.

You recover quicker from colds and injuries.

You cope better in stressful situations.

You notice quicker when your body is acting up and you fix it before it turns into something worse like depression.

You live longer.

Positive thinking isn’t a magic cure for everything, but what it will do is help you to navigate problems with better control.

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Support your fellow writer:

Photo Credit: Unsplash

Here are a few links to my top articles:

Looking for a Change?
How To Explain Complex PTSD To Loved Ones
A Search for Identity
Dealing With Flashbacks
The Knock on the Door that Changed My World
The Goodbye I Never Said Out Loud

For more about me: https://www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Complex PTSD - The Damage from Abuse and Trauma

Elizabeth Woods — Mon, 06 Apr 2026 10:00:00 +0000

The Damage of Abuse

Trigger Warning: This post contains personal accounts and detailed discussions of childhood abuse. If you are currently feeling vulnerable or find these topics distressing, please prioritize your well-being before reading.

Childhood abuse is one of the worst forms of torture that a person can endure. It feels like being in a war zone, imprisoned by cruel dictators and forced to live under their every will and command until the law “says” you are old enough to have your own life. I know this because I have lived in this particular “war zone” called child abuse.

I was stuck and I had no one to lean on for help who had my corner. No adult saw my pain and need to feel safe and no matter how much I cried for help, I was ignored.

My own mother had to be “bullied” by my teachers to take me to the doctor when I had an STD. She insisted I was “fine,” and everything was fine. Well, within all that “fine-ness,” I was left to suffer in the hands of cruel sexual predators and neglectful adults. It was only when those STDs turned nasty with infection, and I couldn’t go to the bathroom that adults took notice and told my mother. If they had not, I would be dead.

The same thing happened years later when I suffered several miscarriages from abuse. I had never been told by mother that girls of a certain age would start their periods. I didn’t know what they were, and I was convinced that I was dying. The truth that I was pregnant at age 13–15 was laughed at. I had no boyfriend, and I was a loner at school, so how could I possibly be pregnant?

No one saw the obvious truth. I had “unusually heavy bleeding,” and my mother was angry when I went through packet after packet of sanitary towels. I was sick with cramping and infection that I was in a haze like a zombie and yet mother made me go to school. I got no medical treatment, nor was I taken to the ER. I was left to suffer through them all with the shame and stigma that comes with being a menstruating young girl.

For some of them, I managed to hide by locking myself in the bathroom and just letting the blood gush out of me in painful spasms. It was terrifying! I often bled through my clothes because I couldn’t stem the bleeding.

My final miscarriage was very public in a packed church full of most of my school friends and their families. I started having painful spasms in church, and I couldn’t leave since I was doing a reading. Blood was pouring for everyone to see, as well as a giant red stain on my glowing white dress.

It was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. Instead of being taken care of, I was laughed at and people whispered and pointed fingers at me. The shame and guilt of being “dirty and un-hygienic” were on most people’s lips.

Taking Stock of the Damage

A childhood full of abuse and neglect will often lead to Complex PTSD. It is one of the worst forms of Post-Traumatic Stress because you feel as if you are still living in the past. The memories keep getting triggered years after the abuse ended.

Complex PTSD causes the body to act and feel like it is constantly under attack, stuck in the “war zone” of hurt.

A person will continue to feel this way years after the abuse happened into adulthood and beyond. It can take a lifetime to feel safe and trust people again. I know because I’ve lived with Complex PTSD my whole life. Everything feels like living through a magnifying glass. I feel different from others, and no matter how much therapy I have gone through, I still cannot change that mindset. I still feel different because I see life in so much more detail. I notice everything around me, even when I pretend I don’t.

Hyper-Vigilance & Alertness

After suffering from years of abuse, the body goes into survival mode long after the trauma has ended. The body still believes it is under attack even though the brain has long made you forget anything that ever happened.

The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk is an excellent book that describes how a survivor feels long after trauma, and how it affects a person in every aspect of life.

Trauma survivors feel jittery, on edge, restless, jumpy, hyperactive, and excitable all rolled into one big mix of emotions.

It’s weird to feel hyper about everyone and everything around you without understanding why. Your body is on autopilot like a robot.

Years ago, I believed that I was different from other people. I didn’t seem to react in the same way people did to noise and emotions. It’s tiring to live like this because you react to every little stimulus that hits you during the day.

You see everyone and everything through a magnifying glass.

A misfiring exhaust on a car can trigger a survivor to instinctively curl into a ball and shy away from the noise. The smell of perspiration in a gym can trigger a survivor right back to the abuse. A crying child can break you out in hives and make you want to ball with pain from sympathy. Heading downtown to shop or even going to your local food market can be exhausting.

Any perceived threats along the way are neutralized by taking a different route or avoiding certain people. This is called dissociation because you disconnect from all stimuli, become numb, and switch off. Life becomes too much. Without addressing the reason why life becomes exhausting, we suffer all over again.

Hyper-arousal

I can only speak about my own experiences as a sexual abuse and trauma survivor when talking about hyper-arousal. It is not something many people admit or talk about because it’s embarrassing and private.

My body was constantly “turned on.” There was no off switch after years of having been “a sex toy.” My body just couldn’t turn itself off. The damage was done.

Living without an off switch brings many problems in later life. As a child, I always struggled to go to the bathroom. I had so many “wet accidents” and smelly discharge. In later life, I’ve always struggled with stress incontinence, like a woman gets after childbirth for a while, or I imagine a symptom of old age. My “little problem” has always been there.

Hyper-sensitivity

A survivor of trauma is always going to be a sensitive and emotional human being, no matter how much you try to hide it through dissociation. It’s always there. I am more attuned to my surroundings and people than others appear to be. People in general have this seemingly “I don’t care” attitude, going through life with a neutral face. We often read on the subway or switch off listening to music or podcasts. We do anything not to be in the moment.

I care about the people around me, and I bend over backward at the cost of my own health to help a wronged human being. I know I do it, but I feel I must help someone in need, whether it is an old lady needing help to cross the street, or a child falling over.

Boundaries are difficult to understand, especially boundaries towards yourself.

I am lucky to collaborate with people who look out for me, and don’t let me work too much. I have always been taken advantage of in the past, but now I am finally learning the importance of having a break.

Relaxation

Relaxation is probably one of the most difficult things to do as a survivor. The body is consistently hyper all over. To relax or even think about relaxing means allowing yourself to feel. That is dangerous because that is when you remember. Your memories come flooding back, and your body reminds you of all the past hurts.

Being on the move and letting your body remain in hyperdrive throughout life is much easier than relaxing. Most people relish the thought of relaxing, but survivors tend to do anything to avoid it. Even if they appear to be relaxed. I can guarantee that they are anything but relaxed.

How to begin to learn to relax

I have always loved water, even though it’s also a source of great pain for me. It was one of the places where I was first sexually abused as a child. I also witnessed a woman being raped and killed in a river. Since then, I’ve worked hard to try to overcome my fear of water. It was, after all, not the water that caused my fear, but the activities in it.

Eventually, I managed to conquer my fear and reset my thinking. I taught myself to have fun and relax in water instead of feeling terrified. Swimming is a great way of relaxing without being still. When I’m in water, I am alone with my thoughts, and no one can talk to me and disrupt me. I can focus on my body and my breathing while my brain can switch off or mull over a problem. Whatever is on my mind, I usually surface feeling better.

If you are a survivor like me, try to see if being in water can help you too.

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

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15 Things To Do When Facing Uncertainty

Elizabeth Woods — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 10:00:00 +0000

Hey, how are you doing today? Are you having a good day or a “not so great day?”

Do you feel valued right now?

In a world where everything is falling apart around us, it’s hard to feel valued. There are too many layoffs and new staff being hired that need training.

You might have those dark thoughts that creep into your head on your commute to work when you are alone in the car. You might be queuing in the grocery store after work one day, and it’s taking longer than it should when those thoughts meander back into your consciousness.

Are you happy right now?

Are you good enough?

Are you wondering if you will be furloughed or laid off next?

When we face uncertainty in life, we naturally turn inwards. We turn to our friends and loved ones to regain our balance. It’s during these conversations and reflections that we start to see things in a different way.

We know there is no point in worrying about things that are out of our control, but if our jobs are on the line, we can’t help it. There’s too much at stake if we are in a position to lose a steady paycheck. It’s hard to see beyond that, and those self-defeating thoughts can worm into our lives. They usually eat away at our self-esteem and confidence.

There are many things you can do to feel better when faced with uncertainty. I’ve faced uncertainty and challenges many times as a trauma survivor and beyond. What I’ve learned is that no matter what, you must keep on living. You’ve come so far to get to this point, and no matter what happens in life , you are in charge of it.

I believe my experience can help you, my readers, to find solace and feel better even if you are having a tough time. I’ve compiled a list of things that I do to feel better.

Here are 15 things to do when you face uncertainty:

Acceptance. Be honest with yourself: say what you are feeling and why. Acknowledging how you feel can help you tackle those emotions. Accept that you cannot please everyone, no matter how hard you try. We all have our imperfections and quirky behaviors. It’s what makes us human beings.
Take care of you first. If you have had a difficult day when the boss has been riding you every moment, recognize that stress. Practice self-care and use grounding techniques and mindfulness. Notice your breath as you breathe out the anger and stress.
Exercise is a great de-stressor. I love going for a swim or a run when I’m stressed. Maybe exercising can benefit you too.
Think of short-term goals that you can achieve when you are feeling overwhelmed. These are things you can control, like your daily routines and home life. Focus on short tasks that you can do straight away to feel a sense of achievement.
Reach out to friends and family. Talk about how you are feeling and voice those emotions out loud.
Stop comparing yourself to others. Everyone has their own path to lead, and yours is unique to you.
Think about your language. How are you expressing the way you are feeling? Can you say what you are feeling in a better, more positive way?

You tell yourself: “I suck at giving work presentations. My colleagues are way better than me.”

Instead, say: “I’m not that great at giving presentations yet because I haven’t had enough practice. My friends are better than me because they have had more time.”

8. Reduce your stress. If something is making you feel anxious like watching the news or sitting in a traffic jam for hours to and from work — avoid them. Turn off the news and go a different route.

9. Think about your happy place. When you are feeling overwhelmed, it can really help to do something that makes you happy. You might have a letter or a positive message that can give you a boost. Notice that feeling? Now harness that and fill up on the joy for a while.

10. Challenge your reality. Let’s face it, life can be unpredictable and uncertain. Think about why you feel this way? What caused it? Is it your interpretation or factual? What would someone else say / do if they were in the same situation?

11. Put your situation into perspective. When we face uncertainty, emotions get in the way. When we are emotional, we can’t think clearly.

My nan gave me the advice “to never go to bed angry.” I didn’t understand her as a child, but I do now. A fresh perspective without emotion does help.

Ask yourself: What’s the worst that can happen? How likely is this to happen?

What are the repercussions? Will it matter in a year / two years / ten years from now?

12. Reframe your thoughts. Think of how you can turn your uncertain situation into something positive. Could there be an opportunity for growth?

13. Past successes to pave the way for your future. Think about what you have achieved so far in life. How far you have come to get to this point.

14. Gratitude and reflection. Think about all the things that you already have. Your qualities and talents. Your family and friends. Maybe a new change would be good for you?

15. Believe in yourself. If you can believe it — you will achieve it. A positive mental attitude can make a big difference to your outlook in life.

I’ve been through many challenges in my life and I’m still here. Sometimes it’s not about the situation itself but how you move on from it.

How will you handle your uncertainty right now?

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

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I Do… A Wedding Story: How I started my wedding day alone - and gained a new family.

Elizabeth Woods — Mon, 23 Mar 2026 10:00:00 +0000

Say “I do…”

Three little letters, two little words.

It’s the simplest part of the day.

But there’s nothing simple about the things that will remain unsaid.

I do means I do know I could be hurt. But I’m ready to be healed with you.

It means I do want to try.

Even when the fear of failure holds me back.

And I do not know the future, but I’m ready to be surprised along the way.

And I do means I do want your love and I do give you mine.

And nothing we do will ever be the same.

Because you and I will be doing it all together.

Poem written by Dean Batali. Writer of the Final Episode in TV Series Good Witch, Season 3, 2017.

When I think of weddings, I think back to this poem written by Dean Batali for the final episode of Good Witch. These words have since gone viral online, but there isn’t much credit to Dean Batali for his beautiful words.

A wedding day is a day of joy and happiness for most families. It’s the day of the union of two families. A day to celebrate the love between two human beings.

I was once a bride, but my wedding was a mixed bag of emotions. I’m a trauma survivor, and therefore, no family was sitting in half of the room — the bride’s half.

My husband’s side was packed full to the point of bursting, and our friends didn’t know which side to pick. You can imagine how I felt about that. I experienced a pain so great my heart could almost not take it as I looked back into that room. My side was empty. I was alone. Nobody was there to have my back.

Did I want to go through with this day alone? This wasn’t how I had envisioned my happiest day, celebrating with the love of my life next to me.

After a few awkward minutes, a brave older couple decided to stand in as “my parents,” for the ceremony. Within a minute, people shuffled across to even out the seats between the sides. With a lone tear streaking down my face and blurring my vision, I saw them. One by one, moving across to my side, until the room was evenly filled.

It was a gesture of compassion, for me and for my husband. It was them saying that they accept me for who I am. They showed me they understood my decision to live my life alone, without my family. Until that moment in the ceremony, when they claimed me as one of them. When I was officially married.

Marriage is not something to go into lightly. It takes a lot of patience and learning to work together. To give and take, while being prepared to compromise sometimes.

True love doesn’t turn away when you’re angry. Love is patient, and waiting to heal and comfort when you are in pain.

As a trauma survivor, I had never experienced true love. I had no idea what love meant, and I didn’t know what it was like to live in a normal family. My husband showed me the way when I was lost. He guided me back on the right path when I had nightmares. He has been my rock throughout the years, where we have flourished together. That is love.

I started my wedding day alone, and I gained a new family. From that moment, I have not been alone.

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

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Speak Up or Be Misunderstood: How Communication Can Break Down Trauma Barriers

Elizabeth Woods — Mon, 16 Mar 2026 10:00:00 +0000

When was the last time you had a conversation with a real person, other than at work?

Social skills help us to connect, communicate, and build stronger relationships with people.

Face-to-face communication without smartphones happens less often than it should, as technology slowly takes over our social lives.

People rely on screens for daily life.

How many ways can you think of where you use your phone instead of having a real conversation?

I think you’d be surprised at how much you use a screen–but hey, it’s 2026, and everyone is using technology these days.

You check the weather and the news first thing in the morning. Fifty years ago, people relied on the local newspaper when it eventually came to the door.

Life was much simpler (but slower) back then. People communicated to get their needs met.

Nowadays, we can order anything and have it delivered to our front door.

Want a new kitchen? Sure, you can buy everything online, provided you have all the measurements.

Fancy a takeout for dinner? No problem. Go online, pick your favorite food, and it will be delivered to your door.

I love my cell phone and, yes, I carry one wherever I go — including to work. Teachers communicate both in and outside class to keep students safe. It’s a great tool to safeguard vulnerable students who have cut class.

I’m sure you use your cell at work, too.

Talking to each other in real conversations where we voice our feelings is a skill that many ignore. In a world where everything is available at the push of a few keys, people give up far too easily.

A trauma survivor can often get lost in the system between phones and people. Sometimes it’s impossible to communicate how we feel about something, and we push it away.

Some conversations are not fit for the cell phone. They need a human touch.

Trauma survivors don’t always know how to feel, but we sure as hell (pardon my language) feel it in our bodies because our bodies absorb everything (whether we like it or not).

These “non-feelings” manifest as headaches, stomach upsets, tension, etc. The problem is that those feelings that are pushed aside will never completely go away, and they have a way of showing up when we least expect them to.

I don’t know about you, but I want to be seen for who I am. The real me. I don’t want to pretend that I’m fine when I’m not. I’m sick of pretending and staying silent.

I’m a trauma survivor, and I’m not ashamed to say it out loud. My experiences with trauma can help so many who are struggling every single day.

Do you feel the same? Do you want to be seen and heard, as well?

If you want to be seen for who you are, you need to speak up. You need to tell people how you feel — every day.

If you ignore the need to communicate how you feel, those feelings can become cooped up inside your body just like a pressure cooker uses pressure from steam to cook food.

Eventually, you need to let that “pressure” out before you burst. Otherwise, you might experience an embarrassing “oil spill” of emotions wherever you happen to be. Trust me, it always happens in the worst possible place.

Sometimes, you just need to let the “pressure out.”

I’m a trauma survivor, and even after years of therapy, I still have days when I am triggered.

Trauma triggers are everywhere, and can pop up when we least expect. They can cause havoc in our lives.

When it happens, the last thing we want to do is to talk about it. I know, this is messed up, right?

Keeping complicated feelings inside is the worst thing we can do. As a trauma survivor, I learned to keep my business to myself because I believed that no one would listen.

That is the way I saw my world as a child, and I know many survivors feel the same. It is extremely hard to get out of that learned behavior.

Everything is almost certainly NOT FINE all the time, and people should hear it. Our voices do matter.

You matter.

But if you don’t speak about how you really feel, people will never know or understand you.

In general, we are desensitized by triggering events because they happen all the time. The news is riddled with bad events, people having arguments, and general conflict.

This has become normal.

It should not be normal that our wonderful world has so much conflict, causing billions of people to live in fear and anxiety.

Yet, here we are, and survivors often get lost in the maelstrom as we move through life.

You cannot change the whole world, but you can change your immediate world–and the people you see every day–by speaking up.

All of the “every day” stressors that cause us to be triggered are like little darts being shot from all directions.

One or two darts don’t hurt that much, but more than that, and we feel definite pain. Right?

How do we break the habit of a lifetime and tell people how we feel? Good question.

Well, it is not easy to do, and my advice is to practice. Use the bathroom mirror once you have calmed down from your trigger, and say to yourself:

“I matter, and my voice matters. This is how I feel…. ‘I’m not okay.’”

Practice what you are going to say to the person who triggered you. Share something small about yourself that you might not be certain that you want them to know. I think you will be surprised at the reaction you get. Most people are clueless about how trauma affects people.

I will give you an example of how I shared something about myself that I didn’t feel comfortable sharing. Because now I’m happy that I did.

A few years ago, I worked with two colleagues who were always bickering about stuff, and sometimes, they would use colorful language. The way they spoke to each other upset me, so I told them.

“I really don’t like the way you speak to XXXX; it makes me uncomfortable.”

Both had no idea how I felt, and they made peace (at least when I was around).

One weekend, I had to speak up and tell another mom that I did not like the words she used to speak to her son at football practice, because it was upsetting to my kids and me. It made that mom think about her words, and she is now much kinder (and calmer) with her son and my ears.

A third example is when I tell people that “I am allergic to cream.” This is not exactly true, but as close to the truth as I am comfortable sharing.

I cannot eat cream without feeling physically sick to my stomach because of what happened to me as a child. I do not share those details because they are too personal. By sharing that I’m allergic to cream, people will understand that I react to it in some way–which is true.

Speaking up and telling others how you feel about something can be a game-changer.

Communication is vital for our emotional well-being. It’s not just about talking but also listening–having empathy for someone. It also includes body language.

And while we should not remain silent, it’s also important not to overshare too soon. We want to build on our conversations and grow our rapport with others step by step. We test the waters so that we know that the person we trust with a trauma trigger is going to be supportive.

Of course, how we share is as important as actually sharing. We want to stay calm during problems, whenever we encounter them. It’s much easier to solve conflicts when we are relaxed and clear-headed.

If you need a moment before you speak, then take it.

You can learn to communicate your feelings. Start small, practice and build trust.

I believe in you.

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

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For more about me: https://www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com