P.S. If you’re ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.

Photo Credit: Unsplash

Rachel Grant is the owner and founder of Rachel Grant Coaching and is a Sexual Abuse Recovery Coach. She is also the author of Beyond Surviving: The Final Stage in Recovery from Sexual Abuse. She is a trusted colleague and friend of CPTSD Foundation.

Guest Post Disclaimer: This guest post is for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing shared here, across CPTSDfoundation.org, any CPTSD Foundation website, our associated communities, or our Social Media accounts, is intended to substitute for or supersede the professional advice and direction of your medical or mental health providers. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the guest author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CPTSD Foundation. For further details, please review the following: Terms of Service, Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer

Rachel Grant

Rachel Grant is the owner and founder of Rachel Grant Coaching and is a Sexual Abuse Recovery Coach and M.A. in Counseling Psychology. She is also the author of Beyond Surviving: The Final Stage in Recovery from Sexual Abuse.  Based on her educational training, study of neuroscience, and lessons learned from her own journey, she has successfully used the Beyond Surviving Program since 2007 to help survivors of childhood sexual abuse who are beyond sick and tired of feeling broken and unfixable break free from the pain of abuse and finally move on with their lives.

www.rachelgrantcoaching.com

What she wrote is honest and deeply resonant. I’m so grateful she was willing to share it here:

When I started my journey into healing my digestive issues in my early twenties, I was eager to learn everything I could about health, well-being, and personal development. What began as a personal search for answers slowly turned into something else: I started taking certification courses, not just to understand myself better, but to help others, as well. After completing my Ayurveda certification almost two decades later, I stepped into the role of health counsellor, ready and excited to work with clients.

Looking back now, years later, I can see much more clearly what happened.

What I truly wanted was simple: to help people. I wanted to understand them, support them, guide them in breaking patterns, and help them heal–just as I had done. But very quickly, my days filled up with other things. Creating programs. Building websites. Writing yet another landing page. Designing freebies. Posting on social media. Learning marketing strategies. Trying to “grow my audience.”

This was all well-meant advice from the various business coaches I worked with–and it wasn’t necessarily wrong. But it slowly drained the life out of me.

It was stressful and time-consuming, and the painful irony was that I was hardly coaching anyone. I spent more time thinking about clever Instagram captions than sitting with real people, listening deeply, and doing the work I was actually trained for and loved.

Without really choosing it, I had become a creator-based entrepreneur–something I never aspired to be. At the same time, I was struggling financially, while being promised six-figure outcomes if I just tried harder, created more, and optimized better.

Over those six years, I created program after program. I hired more business coaches. I followed strategies that didn’t fit me, and watched them fail. The process depleted me, chipped away at my confidence, and eventually left me questioning whether I wanted to keep coaching at all.

But I am not quitting coaching.

What I am quitting are fancy program names, endless landing pages, constant posting on Instagram, and the pressure to produce more content, more materials, and more “proof.” I’m quitting doing things just for the gram. I’m quitting the all-consuming stress. I never wanted that life.

This pivot I’m making now–moving away from being a creator-based entrepreneur and back to simply being a coach–isn’t a step backwards. It’s a return–a remembering. This is a choice to honor how I actually work best, not how the industry says I should.

And maybe this journey was never really about building something external at all. Maybe it was my own healing path: a slow return home to myself. Moving through trauma, hardship, and old patterns of pushing, I was finally ready to listen, trust, and honor my own rhythm.

As we move into a new year, I’m not setting intentions around bigger goals or more output. I’m choosing a different orientation, even though I don’t yet know exactly how it will unfold.

Less pressing.
Less forcing.
Less building from depletion.

More listening.
More honesty.
More choosing ease. 

I don’t have this all figured out. I’m not claiming that choosing peace automatically makes things easy or clear. What I am doing is experimenting–noticing what feels aligned and what doesn’t, and allowing myself to respond, instead of overriding.

This pivot isn’t a final destination. It’s a practice–one I’m committed to trying and trusting.

Christa is a non-diet Ayurveda health counsellor, intuitive eating coach, and body image coach. With her approach, she helps women release stress, guilt, and anxiety around food and helps them to trust their body’s cues again with compassion and confidence. Originally from the Netherlands, she resides in Vancouver with her wife and two cats and is a graduate of “Beyond Surviving.” 

If you are interested in learning more about her work, reach out to her at christa@sageandsaintsayurveda.com. 

I hope her words invite you to pause and gently ask: what would it look like to honor yourself more this year? 

To flow instead of force!
Rachel


P.S. If you’re ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.

Photo by Peter Trones on Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

Rachel Grant

Rachel Grant is the owner and founder of Rachel Grant Coaching and is a Sexual Abuse Recovery Coach and M.A. in Counseling Psychology. She is also the author of Beyond Surviving: The Final Stage in Recovery from Sexual Abuse.  Based on her educational training, study of neuroscience, and lessons learned from her own journey, she has successfully used the Beyond Surviving Program since 2007 to help survivors of childhood sexual abuse who are beyond sick and tired of feeling broken and unfixable break free from the pain of abuse and finally move on with their lives.

www.rachelgrantcoaching.com

Give yourself the pleasure of a functional life filled with people who believe you, who trust you, love you, and who accept the beauty and the wonder that is your strength.

I recently connected with Alle C. Hall, a sought-after author, speaker, writing instructor, and incest survivor known for her profound and compassionate insights into the joy, challenges, and successes that come from harnessing the creativity that heals trauma.

She and I had a great conversation about the power of stories to heal and reclaim joy, and I’m so glad to introduce you to this powerhouse woman!
—
RACHEL: What inspired you to start writing about/exploring this topic?

ALLE: I began writing professionally only a few months prior to uncovering a true willingness to accept the trauma that defined my childhood. Prior to that, I didn’t think about being abused; it was as complex and as simple as that. I survived well enough, given that I did not know how to love or be loved. Although I didn’t understand so at the time, it was as if having my work published gave my inner child that last little boost she needed to come forth and say, “Heal me. Now.”

In my healing process, I spent seven, maybe eight years in recovery from an eating disorder, alcoholism, and PTSD related to surviving childhood trauma before it occurred to me that my story could be altered in this fun (for me) way–and become a good book. Until the idea dawned, I found being a journalist completely satisfying.

I often wrote about women’s issues: topics such as female genital mutilation and sexism in the workplace. S*xual assault. My favorite piece to date was supposed to be a review of the musical Miss Saigon, but the day the copy was due, news broke that an Asian woman had been murdered by her husband. This white guy had (as I refer to in the article) “purchased” her through the magazine Cherry Blossoms. Claiming he was physically abusive, she was filing for divorce. She was in the actual courthouse when he walked up to her and shot her dead. She was pregnant.

I couldn’t help but see the overlap between magazines that marketed young, beautiful Asian women to white men in the States and the issues presented in Miss Saigon: denying female autonomy, the objectification of young Asian women, the insistence that they be beautiful, and the imperialistic dynamic often present in relationships between white men and Asian women. Suffice it to say, the show did not come across well in my review.

These such stories of women and girls have been critical to me. I remember when I first realized that the way girls were shaped by society was inequitable, unbearable, and just plain nonsensical. As soon as I started dedicating myself to writing about these things, I experienced a great sense of freedom from seeing sexism and misogyny right there in print. It gave me great purpose to be able to use my creativity to nail patriarchy and its toxic offshoots.

One afternoon at work, I had the entire outline for a book pop into my head: a girl is being abused, steals money to run away, comes into contact with a Lonely Planet guidebook, and decides to go to Asia. She gets to Asia and fucks up entirely due to the fact that she’s brought her own history in her backpack with her. I come across Tai chi and many generous and caring people who practice Tai chi.

There was never a question that the main character would find Tai chi. It wasn’t an element of the novel I weighed or debated. This detail existed from the moment the story popped into my head. My own practice led to choices about life that wouldn’t have happened had I not pursued the light and the positive circles that Tai chi offers.

It felt as though the story had been inside of me already for years: Asia, incest, pain, Tai chi, freedom, and learning to thrive. As I came to writing, it was only a matter of time until a novel based loosely on my childhood was going to come out.

Why write a novel? I published a number of first-person essays describing elements of my childhood and how I got through them. For some reason, the story in As Far as You Can Go Before You Have to Come Back just had to come out as a novel.

Why?

When I figure that out, I will be accepting my Nobel for Science.

RACHEL: What key insights or lessons have you learned through your experiences with this subject?

ALLE: I’ll start with something many of your readers already know: most abuse is not snatch-her-off-the-street. Most abuse is perpetrated by family and/or other trusted adults. Every survivor I come in contact with struggles with wanting to have their family, particularly the perpetrator, admit to the abuse and apologize. There is, sometimes unspoken, often subconscious–an idea that getting them to apologize is the key to healing.

Don’t wait for anyone else’s acknowledgment before you let yourself heal. Believe in yourself and move into your recovery program. Give yourself the pleasure of a functional life filled with people who believe you, who trust you, love you, and who accept the beauty and the wonder that is your strength.

And be open to miracles. You never know who in your family or community is going to come out in support of you.

Secondly, I would stress that financial independence is really critical.

I’m not saying you need to be rich. I’m saying you need to know you can take care of yourself.

It is very hard to experience healing when those who caused the damage are partially or in full your source of income–even paying for your recovery processes.

For two years, I made between $6.50 and $8.50 an hour as a receptionist. It was the only job I could handle while in the initial stages of getting my head together. But I got by. I was really proud of supporting myself despite every person in my childhood who told me I couldn’t. I had always been dependent on my family. Slowly, step by reasonable step, I built a career writing and teaching about surviving trauma through harnessing creative expression.

Which brings me to my final point: unresolved trauma sits like a blanket, wet and heavy over the hippocampus, which is a part of the brain primary to holding the different facets of trauma: the physical, the spiritual, the emotional, the sexual, and the intellectual. The hippocampus can file images of the abuse separate from the memory of it, and separate from the emotions locked there: anger, shame, pain, guilt, and loneliness.

The hippocampus is also the seat of our creativity. Anyone can work to harness whatever form of creativity they enjoy to physically push the trauma out of their body. I know people who discover they are visual artists, chefs, potters, or great storytellers. Or maybe they make quilts, or parent in the most amazing way imaginable. It doesn’t matter what you do to express yourself. As long as it doesn’t involve damaging or illegal behavior, you can harness that creativity to flush the trauma and generate still more creative expression, flushing out still more trauma.


RACHEL:  What challenges or misconceptions do you think people face when dealing with this topic, and how can they overcome them?

ALLE:  I’ll start with that last part, because it’s the easiest to formulate sentences about–though perhaps the hardest to commit to: you just cannot give up.

No matter what life throws at you, no matter what kind of break you might take from your healing, and whatever trouble you might get into because of that break, you have to come back to pursuing personal joy and ultimate peace.

My experience is that overcoming trauma and abuse comes down to accepting that while it was bad and horrible and wrong, it did happen. I learned to accept that it happened without condoning it.

So, how does a person do that? I think that one’s addictions are the easiest place to begin because there’s a free, accessible process: 12-step programs. These days, many good books you’ll come in contact with while working the steps include addressing childhood trauma. The best one I’ve read is called Iron Legacy by Dr. Donna J. Bevan-Lee.

If you want to learn about recovery through written exercises and reading personal essays, get Iron Legacy. If you want to learn about it via a story, get mine.


RACHEL: Are there any common myths or misunderstandings about this topic that you’d like to address?

ALLE: What a timely question, given how we are focused on the women abused as girls (and older) by Jeffrey Epstein, Ghislaine Maxwell, and all those powerful, rich men. It wasn’t until a month or so ago that we started hearing the women referred to as survivors. They are generally called victims.

The public at large needs to be shown that while abuse survivors were victimized, we are no longer victims. We live with joy in conjunction with an awareness of–and despite–the world being what it is.

Another misconception is that the survivors are at fault. The truth is: we didn’t hurt anyone. We didn’t commit crimes. Child abuse is a crime.

In addition, there is the idea that we’re supposed to be weak–perhaps kept in bed, and fed soup.

Of course, people are shocked and horrified when they hear what I went through, and that is fair. But too many people lack the understanding of how strong someone has to be to survive childhood trauma, and sexual trauma. We are so strong.


RACHEL: What resources, tools, or next steps would you recommend for readers who want to dive deeper into this topic?

ALLE: It is of primary importance to accept that you need help getting through this. While you might have been alone when the abuse took place, you aren’t alone now. There are so many amazing people with wisdom to share about surviving, healing, and thriving, and they want to listen and help. There are great worlds of joy to experience, and they are waiting for you.

As I’ve said, and will reiterate here: 12-Step programs.

Additionally, there is a wonderful national non-profit organization called She Recovers. They have local groups and online communities that meet regularly.

I have a small, private Facebook group called Reading and Writing Trauma. I’d love you to join us–especially if you like reading books about surviving trauma. Also, if you’re interested in writing and even publishing your stories, we’re a great place to get that information.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/587401290619506


—I wholeheartedly echo everything Alle has shared here. If you’re on a journey of healing or exploring how creativity can help you move forward, I encourage you to check out her work, her novel, and the wonderful resources she offers for insight, encouragement, and inspiration.

To Joy!

Rachel\
P.S. If you’re ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.

Photo by x ) on Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

Rachel Grant

Rachel Grant is the owner and founder of Rachel Grant Coaching and is a Sexual Abuse Recovery Coach and M.A. in Counseling Psychology. She is also the author of Beyond Surviving: The Final Stage in Recovery from Sexual Abuse.  Based on her educational training, study of neuroscience, and lessons learned from her own journey, she has successfully used the Beyond Surviving Program since 2007 to help survivors of childhood sexual abuse who are beyond sick and tired of feeling broken and unfixable break free from the pain of abuse and finally move on with their lives.

www.rachelgrantcoaching.com

This month, I want to share a wonderful resource that helps kids (and anyone young at heart) learn how to notice, name, and navigate their emotions in healthy ways.

“Sometime I Get Stuck“, by Bursey Twin Stories.

I have to admit – I really wish I’d had a book like this when I was a kid.

Growing up, I faced my own trauma and intense emotions without the words, guidance, or tools to understand or manage them. I didn’t know how to calm myself down when my feelings felt too big, or how to recognize when my thoughts were spiraling.

A story like this – playful, relatable, and full of humor – would have been such a gift.

It teaches that big feelings aren’t “bad,” and that learning ways to regulate emotions is not only possible, but also empowering.

Even as an adult, I see the value in stories like this – they normalize the experience of strong emotions and show that there are practical ways to manage them, without shame or judgment.

Sharing books like this encourages self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and resilience – lessons that are valuable at any age.

Whether you’re reading with a child or looking for a gentle reminder for yourself, it’s a simple, uplifting way to explore how we can handle our emotions instead of letting them handle us.

To healing, 

Rachel
P.S. If you’re ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

Rachel Grant

Rachel Grant is the owner and founder of Rachel Grant Coaching and is a Sexual Abuse Recovery Coach and M.A. in Counseling Psychology. She is also the author of Beyond Surviving: The Final Stage in Recovery from Sexual Abuse.  Based on her educational training, study of neuroscience, and lessons learned from her own journey, she has successfully used the Beyond Surviving Program since 2007 to help survivors of childhood sexual abuse who are beyond sick and tired of feeling broken and unfixable break free from the pain of abuse and finally move on with their lives.

www.rachelgrantcoaching.com

Life had taken an unexpected turn, and I was scared – terrified, really – that I wouldn’t be able to support myself. Living on my own again was harder than I imagined, and the future felt like a huge question mark.

Would I ever fall in love again? Would I be okay?

At times, I felt broken, unwanted, and deeply alone.

Daily life was a mix of small blessings and heavy anxiety. I was working as a nanny, and thank goodness for the kids’ naps, because that was often the only time I could let myself cry. The family I worked for was wonderfully supportive, and I was trying to build new friendships – but there was a lot of quiet loneliness in between.

Anxiety kept me stuck in subtle but powerful ways.

Some days it was hard to leave the house.

Dating felt terrifying – I carried big fears about being betrayed again.

My mind was in a constant loop of “No one will ever love me” and “I’m going to end up homeless.”

The turning point came in the most ordinary of places: a park, watching ducks. I remembered the old saying about how ducks look calm on the surface, but underneath their little legs are paddling like crazy.

That’s exactly what I felt – going, going, going, but not releasing the fear that had my chest so tight. In that moment, I realized enough was enough. I didn’t want to live life in panic any longer.

The process of reclaiming calm wasn’t instant – but it was doable.

I began focusing on the truth: I had faced challenges and losses before, and I could handle this too.

I started practicing positive anticipation – training myself to look for what could go right, not just what could go wrong. That little mindset shift became a lifeline.

Today, anxiety shows up differently. It’s an alarm, not a jailer, reminding me, “Hey, you’re focusing only on the future and expecting the worst. Challenge that.”

I’m no longer stuck. I have freedom. I can look ahead and feel inspired, rather than paralyzed. If you’re feeling trapped by anxiety right now, know this: you’ve got this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

You can start small – just noticing the fear, acknowledging it, and then taking one brave step. Over time, you’ll find the space to create the life you truly want.

Take a deep breath today and remember: even small steps count. You’re capable of more than your anxiety tells you – and I’m here to help you burst that fear and step into the life you’re meant to live.

With you in it,

Rachel

P.S. If you’re ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.

Photo by Lawrence Krowdeed on Unsplash

Rachel Grant

Rachel Grant is the owner and founder of Rachel Grant Coaching and is a Sexual Abuse Recovery Coach and M.A. in Counseling Psychology. She is also the author of Beyond Surviving: The Final Stage in Recovery from Sexual Abuse.  Based on her educational training, study of neuroscience, and lessons learned from her own journey, she has successfully used the Beyond Surviving Program since 2007 to help survivors of childhood sexual abuse who are beyond sick and tired of feeling broken and unfixable break free from the pain of abuse and finally move on with their lives.

www.rachelgrantcoaching.com

“I saw your email and meant to open it… But I couldn’t.”
“I’ve had this saved for weeks—I just haven’t felt ready.”
“I knew it was going to bring stuff up… so I avoided it.”

And guess what? That hesitation makes sense. Because when you’re living with the effects of trauma—especially complex trauma—everything that hints at healing can also stir up fear. Even something as simple as an email can feel like a trigger.

Why?

Because healing asks something of us, it asks us to feel, to remember, to face, to be present—and for many trauma survivors, those things haven’t always felt safe. That email might contain truths you’re not sure you can face yet.
It might suggest changes you’re scared to make. It might be a reminder of something you’ve been trying not to think about.

So your brain does what it learned to do to protect you: It says, “Let’s not go there today.”

And that’s okay.

Fear is not a sign that you’re failing. It’s a sign that your system is trying to stay safe. The key is learning how to listen to that fear without letting it decide your future.

Because behind that fear might also be a part of you that wants more. More freedom. More peace. More connection.
A life that’s about thriving—not just surviving.

But here’s the thing: healing doesn’t have to happen all at once. You don’t have to be “ready” for everything right now.
You just have to be willing to take one small step at a time. Sometimes, that step might look like opening a hard email.
Other times, it might be pausing to take a breath, texting a trusted friend, or just choosing to be kind to yourself today.

Whatever your pace—whatever your process—please know this:

You are not broken.
You are not behind.
You are not alone.

There’s no perfect timeline. No one “right” way to heal. But there is a path forward—and you get to walk it at your own speed.

So if you’ve ever flinched at a subject line, closed a tab halfway through reading, or scrolled past something that felt too real—know that that’s not weakness. It’s wisdom, protection, survival. And it can shift with time.

When you’re ready, the next step will be there.
And so will I.

With you in it,
Rachel

P.S. If you’re ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.

Photo by Mariia Shalabaieva on Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

Rachel Grant

Rachel Grant is the owner and founder of Rachel Grant Coaching and is a Sexual Abuse Recovery Coach and M.A. in Counseling Psychology. She is also the author of Beyond Surviving: The Final Stage in Recovery from Sexual Abuse.  Based on her educational training, study of neuroscience, and lessons learned from her own journey, she has successfully used the Beyond Surviving Program since 2007 to help survivors of childhood sexual abuse who are beyond sick and tired of feeling broken and unfixable break free from the pain of abuse and finally move on with their lives.

www.rachelgrantcoaching.com

• Access to emotions that may feel too overwhelming or confusing to talk about

• A sense of control – you decide what to create, how, and when

• Permission to play – something trauma often robs us of

• An outlet for release, without needing to explain or justify

Even if you don’t consider yourself “creative,” this is not about masterpieces. It’s about process over product. Scribbles. Messes. Half-finished things. It all counts.


🎒 Ways to Try This Out

Here are a few low-pressure ways to bring creative healing into your week:

🎨 Intuitive painting or drawing – Set a timer for 10 minutes. Use whatever colors or shapes call to you. No plan. Just let your hands move.

✍️ Stream-of-consciousness writing – Set a timer and write without stopping. Let it all spill out. Burn it afterward if that feels freeing.

🖼️ Collage – Cut up magazines or print images and create a visual representation of what safety, power, or freedom look like to you.

🎶 Music and movement – Make a playlist that speaks to your current season. Let your body move gently to the rhythm.

🍃 Nature-based art – Use leaves, rocks, or sticks to build something outside. No pressure, just presence.


🌻 One More Thing…

Creative expression isn’t a replacement for trauma work, but it’s a beautiful support and companion.
Think of it like building a language with your soul – one where your wounds can be witnessed, honored, and gently reshaped into something new.

And yes, laughter counts as art. Dance counts as art. Journaling counts as art.

You, just as you are, count as an artist.

So this July, whether it’s doodling in the margins, scribbling in a journal, or dancing in your kitchen, let creativity be part of your healing toolkit.

🧠 Your body will thank you.
💛 Your heart will exhale.
🌅 And somewhere, without needing to try, you’ll remember – there’s life beyond surviving.


🎯 Try This Week

Set aside just 10 minutes and try one of these:

🖌️ Draw your current emotional state using only shapes and colors – no words.
📝 Write a letter you’ll never send to someone or something that hurt you.
🧩 Make a mini collage that reflects how you want to feel by the end of the year.
💃 Put on a song that moves you and let your body respond – no choreography, no rules.

👉 Then pause. What came up? How do you feel now?

You don’t have to be “good at art” to heal.
You just have to show up and create something true.


With you in it,

P.S. If you’re ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.

P.P.S. Find other inspiration and resources here: 
https://www.rachelgrantcoaching.com/resources/creative/

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

Rachel Grant

Rachel Grant is the owner and founder of Rachel Grant Coaching and is a Sexual Abuse Recovery Coach and M.A. in Counseling Psychology. She is also the author of Beyond Surviving: The Final Stage in Recovery from Sexual Abuse.  Based on her educational training, study of neuroscience, and lessons learned from her own journey, she has successfully used the Beyond Surviving Program since 2007 to help survivors of childhood sexual abuse who are beyond sick and tired of feeling broken and unfixable break free from the pain of abuse and finally move on with their lives.

www.rachelgrantcoaching.com

👉 Permission to soothe. Permission to slow. Permission to let your nervous system have its own little vacation.

Why Your Nervous System Deserves a Break (Yes, Even Yours)

When you’ve lived through trauma, your nervous system doesn’t always get the memo that it’s safe now. Even during “fun” moments – cookouts, crowds, Pride events, or even just sitting still – your body might be like,

“This is fine. Everything’s fine. Except it’s NOT. We’re all gonna die.”

Cue the tension, racing thoughts, irritability, and a strange urge to flee the farmer’s market because someone in the kale aisle smelled like your ex.

This isn’t because something’s wrong with you. It’s because your body got really, really good at protecting you. And now we’re helping it learn a new rhythm – one that doesn’t require constant emergency mode.

And lucky for us, summer is full of regulation-friendly options. Let’s take advantage.

Here are some gentle, body-loving ways to bring a little ease into your system this season!

5 Summertime Nervous System Boosters

🌿 Touch the Earth (Literally)
Put your bare feet in the grass, sand, or dirt. Hug a tree (no shame). Nature has this sneaky way of reminding your body that you’re here, now, and safe. Plus, it’s free therapy.

🍓 Savor Something Juicy
Pick a summer fruit – watermelon, berries, a popsicle that turns your tongue blue – and actually let yourself taste it. Sensory engagement is an amazing way to bring your body into the present.

🏳️‍🌈 Honor Pride in Your Own Way
There’s no “right” way to be queer or to celebrate Pride. If you want to be loud and fabulous – go for it! If you’d rather binge heartwarming queer rom-coms with your cat and a bowl of popcorn, that’s sacred too. Visibility is beautiful. So is rest.

❄️ Cool It Down
Use a cold cloth on the back of your neck. Keep peppermint oil nearby. Or try this: inhale through your nose, then exhale through pursed lips like you’re blowing out a birthday candle. Instant chill (literally and metaphorically).

🛑 Power Down to Power Up
Step away from your phone – yes, even TikTok – for just ten minutes. Lie down, breathe, stare at the ceiling fan like it’s giving a TED Talk. Give your nervous system a moment to do nothing, and it will thank you.

In Case You Needed This Reminder…

You don’t have to earn rest.
You don’t have to be happy all summer.
You don’t have to do Pride “right.”
You’re allowed to cry, to laugh, to dance, to nap – sometimes all in the same hour.

So this June, I hope you let your nervous system stretch out on a metaphorical beach chair with a good book and a cold drink. I hope you celebrate what you can, grieve what you need to, and find moments of unexpected joy.

Your healing is happening. Even now. Especially now.

And if no one’s told you yet today – I’m proud of you. 🌈

To healing!

P.S. If you’re ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.

Photo by Nattu Adnan on Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

Rachel Grant

Rachel Grant is the owner and founder of Rachel Grant Coaching and is a Sexual Abuse Recovery Coach and M.A. in Counseling Psychology. She is also the author of Beyond Surviving: The Final Stage in Recovery from Sexual Abuse.  Based on her educational training, study of neuroscience, and lessons learned from her own journey, she has successfully used the Beyond Surviving Program since 2007 to help survivors of childhood sexual abuse who are beyond sick and tired of feeling broken and unfixable break free from the pain of abuse and finally move on with their lives.

www.rachelgrantcoaching.com

P.S. If you’re ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.

Photo by Gregoire Jeanneau on Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

Rachel Grant

Rachel Grant is the owner and founder of Rachel Grant Coaching and is a Sexual Abuse Recovery Coach and M.A. in Counseling Psychology. She is also the author of Beyond Surviving: The Final Stage in Recovery from Sexual Abuse.  Based on her educational training, study of neuroscience, and lessons learned from her own journey, she has successfully used the Beyond Surviving Program since 2007 to help survivors of childhood sexual abuse who are beyond sick and tired of feeling broken and unfixable break free from the pain of abuse and finally move on with their lives.

www.rachelgrantcoaching.com

Eight years ago, I had the joy of connecting with Rebecca O’Donnell, author of Freak: The True Story of an Insecurity Addict. I immediately adored her fierceness, authenticity, and willingness to take on the tough corners of healing, bringing it all into the light!

We recently reconnected, and and I learned that she’s just published a new book for kids (or adults who need to re-parent their inner children!). Hurt Magic is a beautifully illustrated and powerful story of facing down both internal and external bullies – check it out!

I’m so excited that Rebecca was up for sharing a bit more about herself, her journey, and her healing!

Without further ado:

RACHEL: Can you tell us a little bit about you!?

REBECCA: I’m an Artist/Writer in New York. I used to teach Art Therapy at an abused children’s home. I was good at it because I was one of them. Physical, sexual, mental, and emotional abuse. I told the kids, “You have a manure pile of memories. Nothing you can do about that. Now, you can drown in the stink or turn it into compost and grow a garden. I wouldn’t be nearly as good a teacher for you if I didn’t have an idea of what you’ve been through.” It’s tough battling the self-hatred and insecurity which comes with surviving these horrors, but man, is it worth it. You’re worth the fight.


RACHEL: What inspired you to start writing about/exploring this topic?

REBECCA: I was seeing a therapist to help me with my traumatic amnesia, and she suggested I start writing a journal. I hated it. So one day, I just started rambling into the computer. Before I knew it, I had 150 pages. Took a while for my therapist to talk me into letting her see it, haha! But then she told me I should expand it into a memoir. One of my readers asked me to combine both my art and writing into a children’s book for abused and/or bullied kids. An abuse survivor herself, she hadn’t found any children’s books that inspired her. So I did. Helping others is a multi-faceted blessing. You help others who need it, and that sharing of your own kindness heals you as well. The way I see it, if you want to feel worthy, do something worthwhile. Even holding the door for someone or complimenting somebody is something worthwhile. Baby steps are still steps. 


RACHEL: What key insights or lessons have you learned through your experiences with this subject?

REBECCA: That there are far, far more of us than even I imagined. I don’t think there are more predators and abusers than ever; I think people are speaking out more, so their filth is getting dragged into the light. And that is a magnificent, hope-filled miracle. Courage is contagious, and we’re nobody’s dirty little secret.


RACHEL: What challenges or misconceptions do you think people face when dealing with this topic, and how can they overcome them?

REBECCA: The biggest mindfrak our abusers do to us is to convince us that we’re ruined, dirty, rancid, etc, because of what they did to us. I told my mom about my dad attacking me immediately after that first time. Her response was, “If you didn’t flirt with him, he wouldn’t do it.” This is all too common. I was a child, her child, and she blamed me for somehow causing it.

People stare at me like a deer in headlights nowadays when I tell them I was sexually abused. Many get angry. “People don’t talk about that in public.” Why not? I was such a basket case for half my life because I believed that nonsense. I even tried to kill myself because the weight of feeling dirty, stupid, and weak was crushing me.

Insecurity is my addiction, and around 15 years ago, I started treating it like a substance addiction. I did self love exercises (which I violently opposed for months when I first began) every day, stopped my abusive inner voice from slamming into me 24/7, quit telling body shaming jokes about myself to others (I was hilarious and could always get a laugh, which outwardly fed me and inwardly crushed me because they were laughing that I was fat and ugly) and every night I’d say, “Good night beautiful mind, good night beautiful body, good night beautiful spirit.” Didn’t believe a word of it for six months. I was that deeply addicted to hating myself. But persistent repetition is key. That’s the only thing that’s worked for me.

Keep at it, even as your inner voice screams “LIAR!!” at you. I love myself now, no longer blinded by shi*-colored glasses or rosy denial ones. Clear lens now, and clear-eyed. But I’m an insecurity addict. If I stop doing my self love exercises, I can feel myself sliding back into the that self abusing cruelty I weirdly miss. That’s how I know it’s a behavioral addiction. Let me tell you, it’s a lot of work, but becoming your own soulmate is astonishing. So go for it.


RACHEL:  Are there any common myths or misunderstandings about this topic that you’d like to address?

REBECCA:

“What were you wearing that set him off?

“Why didn’t you just say no?”

“Why didn’t you tell somebody?”

“Why didn’t you fight?”

“You’re no good in bed because you’re so damaged.”

“You’re great in bed because you’re so damaged.”

“Why did you ever have kids? Statistically, you’re going to abuse them too.”

All these questions are abusive but usually stem from ignorance, not cruelty. Most of the world is blind. Recognize that truth. The way I see it, I wouldn’t get mad at a blind person because they can’t see me. So it’s okay to educate people. One time, I did a lecture on the subject of incest and the damage it causes, and a group of people came up to talk to me afterwards. A man, obviously trying to make a joke, laughed, “Incest is best, a game the whole family can play!” I asked, “Do you play it with your daughter?” He attacked me. People had to pull him off. I talked to him later, and it turned out he’d been abused as a kid, so he instantly saw red from my reply. If people have a complete freak-out like that, there’s usually a big hidden wound there. Don’t take it personally.


RACHEL: What resources, tools, or next steps would you recommend for readers who want to dive deeper into this topic?

REBECCA: When I was first writing my memoir, I had to put things into chronological order, then gauge my age at each time. I looked at photos of myself and was truly startled by how little I was. I found that putting stuff into chronological order, no matter how hard it was to write it down (I puked, had panic attacks, and sweated like a horse, woke up from nightmares), I had to do it for the book. I’d scrawl a couple of sentences or paragraphs, then shove it in a drawer until I could bear to look at it again. It was a revelation. When I first wrote the words, I was super emotional, devastated, and angry at myself for “letting it happen.” But when I pulled those pages out again, it was a completely different feeling. I felt compassion for her. She was just a kid. I was just a kid. And that helped me begin to see the truth. I’m not a piece of shi*. I never was. It was always a lie.

—
I hope you will take something for yourself today from Rebecca’s story and wisdom! I know I did! 🙂


To the magic of healing!

P.S. If you’re ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

Rachel Grant

Rachel Grant is the owner and founder of Rachel Grant Coaching and is a Sexual Abuse Recovery Coach and M.A. in Counseling Psychology. She is also the author of Beyond Surviving: The Final Stage in Recovery from Sexual Abuse.  Based on her educational training, study of neuroscience, and lessons learned from her own journey, she has successfully used the Beyond Surviving Program since 2007 to help survivors of childhood sexual abuse who are beyond sick and tired of feeling broken and unfixable break free from the pain of abuse and finally move on with their lives.

www.rachelgrantcoaching.com