Do you feel valued right now?

In a world where everything is falling apart around us, it’s hard to feel valued. There are too many layoffs and new staff being hired that need training.

You might have those dark thoughts that creep into your head on your commute to work when you are alone in the car. You might be queuing in the grocery store after work one day, and it’s taking longer than it should when those thoughts meander back into your consciousness.

Are you happy right now?

Are you good enough?

Are you wondering if you will be furloughed or laid off next?

When we face uncertainty in life, we naturally turn inwards. We turn to our friends and loved ones to regain our balance. It’s during these conversations and reflections that we start to see things in a different way.

We know there is no point in worrying about things that are out of our control, but if our jobs are on the line, we can’t help it. There’s too much at stake if we are in a position to lose a steady paycheck. It’s hard to see beyond that, and those self-defeating thoughts can worm into our lives. They usually eat away at our self-esteem and confidence.

There are many things you can do to feel better when faced with uncertainty. I’ve faced uncertainty and challenges many times as a trauma survivor and beyond. What I’ve learned is that no matter what, you must keep on living. You’ve come so far to get to this point, and no matter what happens in life ,  you are in charge of it.

I believe my experience can help you, my readers, to find solace and feel better even if you are having a tough time. I’ve compiled a list of things that I do to feel better.

Here are 15 things to do when you face uncertainty:

1. Acceptance. Be honest with yourself: say what you are feeling and why. Acknowledging how you feel can help you tackle those emotions. Accept that you cannot please everyone, no matter how hard you try. We all have our imperfections and quirky behaviors. It’s what makes us human beings.
2. Take care of you first. If you have had a difficult day when the boss has been riding you every moment, recognize that stress. Practice self-care and use grounding techniques and mindfulness. Notice your breath as you breathe out the anger and stress.
3. Exercise is a great de-stressor. I love going for a swim or a run when I’m stressed. Maybe exercising can benefit you too.
4. Think of short-term goals that you can achieve when you are feeling overwhelmed. These are things you can control, like your daily routines and home life. Focus on short tasks that you can do straight away to feel a sense of achievement.
5. Reach out to friends and family. Talk about how you are feeling and voice those emotions out loud.
6. Stop comparing yourself to others. Everyone has their own path to lead, and yours is unique to you.
7. Think about your language. How are you expressing the way you are feeling? Can you say what you are feeling in a better, more positive way?

You tell yourself: “I suck at giving work presentations. My colleagues are way better than me.”

Instead, say: “I’m not that great at giving presentations yet because I haven’t had enough practice. My friends are better than me because they have had more time.”

8. Reduce your stress. If something is making you feel anxious like watching the news or sitting in a traffic jam for hours to and from work — avoid them. Turn off the news and go a different route.

9. Think about your happy place. When you are feeling overwhelmed, it can really help to do something that makes you happy. You might have a letter or a positive message that can give you a boost. Notice that feeling? Now harness that and fill up on the joy for a while.

10. Challenge your reality. Let’s face it, life can be unpredictable and uncertain. Think about why you feel this way? What caused it? Is it your interpretation or factual? What would someone else say / do if they were in the same situation?

11. Put your situation into perspective. When we face uncertainty, emotions get in the way. When we are emotional, we can’t think clearly.

My nan gave me the advice “to never go to bed angry.” I didn’t understand her as a child, but I do now. A fresh perspective without emotion does help.

Ask yourself: What’s the worst that can happen? How likely is this to happen? 

What are the repercussions? Will it matter in a year / two years / ten years from now?

12. Reframe your thoughts. Think of how you can turn your uncertain situation into something positive. Could there be an opportunity for growth?

13. Past successes to pave the way for your future. Think about what you have achieved so far in life. How far you have come to get to this point.

14. Gratitude and reflection. Think about all the things that you already have. Your qualities and talents. Your family and friends. Maybe a new change would be good for you?

15. Believe in yourself. If you can believe it — you will achieve it. A positive mental attitude can make a big difference to your outlook in life.

I’ve been through many challenges in my life and I’m still here. Sometimes it’s not about the situation itself but how you move on from it.

How will you handle your uncertainty right now?

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Support your fellow writer:

https://ko-fi.com/elizabe69245484

Photo Credit: Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: This guest post is for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing shared here, across CPTSDfoundation.org, any CPTSD Foundation website, our associated communities, or our Social Media accounts, is intended to substitute for or supersede the professional advice and direction of your medical or mental health providers. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the guest author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CPTSD Foundation. For further details, please review the following: Terms of Service, Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer

Elizabeth Woods

For more about me: https://www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Elizabeth Woods grew up in a world of brutal sex offenders, murderers, and inconceivably neglectful adults. Elizabeth is passionate about spreading awareness of what it is like to survive after trauma. She is the author of several books and has written her memoir, telling her childhood story: The Sex-Offender’s Daughter: A True Story of Survival Against All Odds, available on Amazon Kindle and paperback.

Elizabeth is also the author of “Living with Complex PTSD” and the Cedar’s Port Fiction series: “Saving Joshua”, “Protecting Sarah”, “Guarding Noah” and “Bringing Back Faith,” and “Restoring Hope,” available here: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0BCBZQN7L/allbooks?ingress=0&visitId=7e223b5b-1a29-45f0-ad9d-e9c8fdb59e9c&ref_=ap_rdr&ccs_id=931f96e2-c220-4765-acc8-cc99bb95e8bd

www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com/

At Brickel & Associates, LLC, we take a trauma-informed, inclusive, and nonjudgmental approach to these challenges. We affirm your full humanity—and that includes your emotional responses, your lived experiences, and even your uncertainty. You don’t have to minimize your beliefs to keep the peace, and you don’t have to cut relationships that feel complicated. Therapy can help you make sense of the conflict and chart your own compassionate, values-aligned path forward.

1. Honor Your Feelings—They’re Valid

When someone you care about holds views that feel harmful or dismissive, the emotional response can be intense. It may bring up grief, anger, anxiety, or past trauma. These reactions aren’t “overreactions”—they’re rooted in real-life experience, and they’re deeply human.

If you’re someone who has experienced marginalization or trauma, those political disagreements can feel like emotional re-wounding. If you’re not sure what you believe or feel caught in the middle of polarized views, that uncertainty deserves just as much care and compassion.

It’s okay to feel angry, hurt, disappointed, or even betrayed. When political differences touch on fundamental parts of your identity or safety, it’s not “just a difference of opinion”—it can feel personal, because it is.

You’re allowed to grieve the gap between who you hoped someone was and who they reveal themselves to be. Therapy offers a safe, nonjudgmental space to process these emotions without being told to “just agree to disagree.”

In therapy, there’s no pressure to take sides or defend your position. There’s simply space to feel and process without judgment.

2. Clarify and Honor Your Boundaries

Boundaries are not about cutting people off or being “unforgiving”—they’re about staying safe, grounded, and emotionally intact. A trauma-informed lens helps you notice where your nervous system feels overwhelmed, where communication becomes unsafe, and what kind of interaction is tolerable for you.

Ask yourself:

• What conversations leave me feeling dysregulated or unsafe?
• When do I feel myself shutting down or dissociating?
• What kinds of limits help me stay present, connected, and regulated?

It’s okay to say, “I can’t talk about that with you right now.” It’s okay to take space. And it’s okay to change your mind about how you want to relate to someone.

Boundaries are a way of staying in integrity with yourself—even if others don’t understand.

Boundaries are an act of self-trust and nervous system care.

3. Reconnect with What Grounds You and Honor Your Values

Therapy can help you explore your values with curiosity, not judgment—so you can reconnect with your own truth, not someone else’s expectations.

When the people around you question or challenge your values—or when you’re unsure what your values even are—it can feel destabilizing. Grounding doesn’t mean being certain or rigid. It means reconnecting with what feels most true for you in this moment, even if that’s still evolving.

Consider asking yourself:

• What do I know what matters to me?
• What does justice, compassion, or equality mean to me?
• When have I felt most aligned with my values?
• How do my beliefs connect to my lived experience?
• Who helps me feel safe, curious, or supported when I explore difficult topics?

When others question or reject your values, it can shake your sense of stability. Grounding yourself in what you believe, and why, can be a powerful form of resilience.

You don’t need to convince everyone else to agree with you to feel valid or safe in your truth. Community, activism, art, and therapy can all be ways to reaffirm what matters most to you.

4. Decide What Kind of Connection Is Possible—For Now

Some relationships can survive political differences—especially when there’s a foundation of mutual respect, open-mindedness, and emotional safety. Others may need to shift, pause, or end. A trauma-informed approach understands that both can be acts of healing.

If connection still feels possible, it may help to:

• Focus on shared experiences, goals, or values
• Agree on respectful communication rules
• Prioritize curiosity, not conversion
• Practice empathy without abandoning your own truth

If connection feels harmful or retraumatizing, it’s okay to step back. Sometimes love and distance go hand in hand.

5. You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

Whether you’re grieving the loss of closeness with a loved one, uncertain about your beliefs, overwhelmed by political tension, or triggered by past experiences—you deserve support.

At Brickel & Associates, LLC, we walk with you—not to fix or persuade you, but to support your emotional well-being with care, compassion, and curiosity. We’re LGBTQ+ affirming, pro-choice, and committed to trauma-informed therapy for everyone—including those who feel unsure, conflicted, or caught in the middle.

You are welcome here.

Your feelings are real. Your healing matters. And your story deserves to be held with care.

Let us help you stay connected to yourself—even when the world feels divided.

Your values matter. Your identity matters. And your emotional well-being matters.

We’re here to support you—especially when the world feels divided.
You deserve a space where your truth is seen, respected, and held with care.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

Robyn Brickel

Robyn is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with 20+ years of experience providing psychotherapy, as well as the founder and clinical director of a private practice, Brickel and Associates, LLC in Old Town, Alexandria, Virginia. She and her team bring a strengths-based, trauma-informed, systems approach to the treatment of individuals (adolescents and adults), couples and families. She specializes in trauma (including attachment trauma) and the use of dissociative mechanisms; such as: self-harm, eating disorders and addictions. She also approaches treatment of perinatal mental health from a trauma-informed lens.

Robyn also guides clients and clinicians who wish to better understand the impact of trauma on mental health and relationships. She has a wide range of post graduate trauma and addictions education and is trained in numerous relational models of practice, including Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT), the Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT), and Imago therapy. She is a trained Sensorimotor Psychotherapist and is a Certified EMDRIA therapist and Approved Consultant. Utilizing all of these tools, along with mindfulness and ego state work to provide the best care to her clients. She prides herself in always learning and expanding her knowledge on a daily basis about the intricacies of treating complex trauma and trauma’s impact on perinatal distress.

She frequently shares insights, resources and links to mental health news on Facebook and Twitter as well as in her blog at BrickelandAssociates.com

To contact Robyn directly:

Robyn@RobynBrickel.com

www.BrickelandAssociates.com

brickelandassociates.com/

No matter what you think, believe, feel, say, or do, there will be a percentage of people out there who disapprove, possibly vehemently disagree with what you do, and/or who you are

This essay reflects my attempt to understand precisely how and why I fear disapproval from others. The question came to me when I heard the idea that no matter what, a percentage of people will never agree with you. For the moment, put aside the fact that the game of percentages is the reality from which our world among humans is made. I still fear rejection, and I know I am not alone. The journey of this essay is my attempt to understand why I have been so limited in my life. It has been fear. The fear of criticism and the basic experience of rejection that occurs when someone is upset with me. It is challenging to be present and express oneself fully in all respects if we are constantly controlled by the fear of conflict with others. This is not intended to be a lecture or an educational piece on the topic, but rather a platform to awaken myself and any readers. This is a brief essay filled with ideas that I hope will prompt the reader to ponder. It is intended to spark a moment of reflection, allowing you to consider the ideas presented here. Perhaps a moment that could change your life, as I am attempting to do with my own.

No matter what you think, believe, feel, say, or do, there will be a percentage of people out there who disapprove, possibly vehemently disagree with what you do, and/or who you are. Yes, even to the point of raging against you vocally and possibly doing worse. So, we sit silently and cringe, afraid to behave at all in some cases. Alternatively, we can take the opposite extreme and behave boisterously as if we are wholly committed to our group’s norms, attitudes, and beliefs. To the point of sometimes being a bit hysterical.

What is the percentage for you? The turning point where you might give in to the majority group and suddenly adopt their thinking to avoid disapproval? When you see or fear it is now at 50.01% disapproval, do you suddenly reshape your thoughts and behavior to the “ever-evolving” majority’s percentage of approving expectations? Have you ever thought about this, the fact that you cannot escape disapproval by a percentage of people, no matter what? Think about that. No matter what you do, say, or think! The percentage of people is not as much a consideration of numbers, but more importantly, a matter of who exactly those people are who are important to you. Alas, for some of us, it is not only the identity of those people. It has become almost all people. Wow, what an emotional burden!

We are enculturated.

We are enculturated. Meaning we take on and become the norms and beliefs of our world around us, the environment in which we live, “our tribe.” It is as natural for humans as breathing air. We need to feel we are welcomed as part of a community. BELONGING, the need to be accepted by peers, is present in most of us, though it may not be a conscious process. It is a real, powerful, and invisible force.

What do I think? How do I behave? What do I feel? Why and how do I hide what I think, behave, and feel? I am an individual who fears anger, confrontation, and rejection from others. Too often in my life, I have found myself to be a chameleon, changing colors (fawning) in the face of differing opinions and attitudes of others. A people pleaser. A silent soul. I think I’m just one of the Silent Majority in life. What are the percentages? What percent of people feel like I do, fearful of being expressive for fear of doing or making a social gaffe? It is a deeply subconscious process that requires significant effort, thought, and attention to awaken to or change. That can be scary and potentially filled with anxiety.

Here is the bugaboo: something is seriously off. Something went haywire in my life. My reaction to another person’s disapproval and/or anger toward me is to think that something is simply wrong with me. As I look into the years of therapy and to the current moment of participation in therapy, there was trauma experienced in the moment of angry emotions confronting me from another. Trauma. Deep-seated, buried, unadulterated traumatic experience coming to life with every raised eyebrow, misperceived facial expression, or distinct angry behavior from another. Coming toward me, or at times just displayed by another in my presence. Either way, I experience an emotional event that borders on a severe trauma being relived, a trigger. Trauma in my past is something that is not clearly remembered. The recollections of some of my emotional and early physical abuse are vague. As I have discovered in individual therapy, the more diffuse and felt but unseen, the deeper and the more horrific the event that fills my nerve endings now, fifty-to-sixty-plus years later.

As with all my writings, and this one is no exception, the initial inspiration morphs beyond my original intent of the writing. I land where my inner guide directs me. I’ve come to realize that my understanding of percentages is a revelation about why I shouldn’t be concerned about disapproval from 49.9%. It turns out, as I have come to see, I was horribly traumatized in my childhood, at an early and vulnerable age.

It is not easy to come to terms with the subconscious processes that have terrorized and crippled one’s life, preventing it from flourishing. I’ve realized that trying to find an escape from inner torment by witnessing the percentages of a culture in conflicting duality does not work for me. I cannot think my way out of past learned emotional trauma. Believe me, my life has been a crystal-clear example of someone trying to heal emotional pain through magical thinking. Clarity of thought, in the form of a more accurate understanding of problems, is a step forward from a negative, unrealistic method of inner self-talk. Indeed, positive self-regard is a significant step forward, helping to mitigate and manage negative feelings. I am seeing that, more than positive self-talk, self-love is the avenue out of the internal mental illness I have lived with throughout my life.

One consequence of being traumatized by our core caregivers, usually mom and/or dad, is a deep-seated internalized mistrust. When in the presence of psychic and physical abuse, a child learns not to trust others, especially those in authority. The absence of unconditional love is the existential trauma in life, and you might say, of our time. All those tirades of screaming, hitting, and shaming terrorize children and could well leave a lasting mark that may forever change a person’s direction in life. It could leave them unable to trust anyone. If my primary source of affection (parent) abused me, knowingly or not, I may learn they cannot be trusted to love me, or worse yet, think love means being abused!

If my mother was unable to love me, to the extent that I did not ‘feel it’ as a child, that is certainly not my fault. Children do not misperceive the lack of love coming from a parent; instead, deep down, they feel unlovable. By intuitively knowing that love is absent, we blame ourselves. Mom would love me if I were not so… How do we, in the face of mistrust, with deep-seated subconscious fear of being rejected, find a healing love? When love from the outside is presented authentically or not, I have learned to think it is somehow not genuine. There is a con to it; it is fake, pretended, or acted. There is a “thought process” within them of “I should be loving towards this person,” that is going on, but it may or may not be ‘feelable’ to the person who has not experienced enough parental love. There is mistrust, and potentially, a numbness, which is unfortunate. But the world “is what it is,” as they say, and we must move on, facing reality as best we can.

How do I learn to love myself with the emotional lifelong dissociation and alienation from an abusive and narcissistic mother? Self-love. I can start by forgiving myself for the array of inappropriate behaviors that I have unwittingly shown to others. I can let myself off the hook for having an emotional engine that pushes me to eat more and more in an attempt to find comfort. I can try harder to accept myself as an overweight individual and attempt to be gentle with myself in losing weight. I can forgive myself for being emotionally shut down and come to understand what has happened to me to make me so stoic, emotionally frozen, and at times paralyzed from self-expression. It is OK to cry. Or in my case, it is OK to weep uncontrollably. Weeping is a part of reclaiming those feelings. I can understand now that my life has not been easy, and it was not by choice.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

Jesse Donahue

*Copyright notice. All writings copyrighted and registered with the Library of Congress.

Therapy has helped improve my self-understanding as well as writing skills through journaling and essays. Although this writing journey began in later years, it has led to 70+ essays oriented around issues with CPTSD – a trauma disorder.

My writings, which include therapy notes, poems, novels (unpublished), and essays, are all a part of my ongoing personal therapy. Initially, the essays, intended for my therapist’s eyes only, began with exposing my thoughts, fears, and feelings, or the lack of, onto paper, a journal of therapy notes. Then, with fear overcome and via a personal decision, I shared them with the readers. *My thanks to Paul Michael Marinello, the editor of the CPTSD Foundation. My intent is to encourage readers to recognize traits in themselves and find (if desired) a therapist when they are willing and ready for that step. For some of us, it can be a long and challenging process, over extensive periods, to awaken to the unconscious issues that cause us to act out in life. Our behavior may seem like dancing to a buried, invisible cause we cannot directly see or confront. It is my sincere hope that my insights will assist the reader in the process toward reaching a deeper self-understanding.

Bringing the unconscious out into the light of self-awareness, understanding, and acceptance fosters self-love and the process of change.

 Jesse B. Donahue

*Type a keyword into the foundations search engine. (Jesse, Heart, Personal, Twelve, Bugaboo, etc.) Or, Type Jesse Donahue at The CPTSD Foundation on a Google search.

Published with the CPTSD foundation. Top 10 essays in order of number of views:

1.  ** Personal Honor, Integrity, Dignity, Honesty
2.  ** The Heart of the Matter
3.  * The Smoldering Embers of C-PTSD
4.  * The Hidden Bugaboo (Parts 1-4 of 4)
5.  Twelve Days Without Coffee
6.  Learned Helplessness
7.  Cast Out of Eden by Toxic Shame
8.  *Codependency – Overriding the Monster of Self-Hate
9.  The Emptiness of Yesterday
10.  Surfing the Light Through the Darkness

It was easy to fall into a language of extremes to define the world around me

For most of my life, I’ve been an “all or nothing” kind of gal. Either all in or all out, I left no space for the forgiving landscape of a “middle ground.” This black-and-white kind of thinking left little room for color in my days. Even though, like many of you, I was wise beyond my years and recognized the complexity of the human spirit from an early age, it was easy to fall into a language of extremes to define the world around me. Things were either all “bad” or all “good.” Words like “always” and “never” wove into my expressions like a chorus line in a song. Sometimes they still do, though not quite as often as they once did. And not quite as loudly.

Heather Jurvelin

Finally feeling truly alive for the first time in my life, I am writing from a place of gradual healing with an eye to the future and a hope of connecting with others on similar paths. Forced to withhold a tsunami of emotions deemed irrelevant under the roof of my childhood “home,” the blank white pages of my notebooks invited my raw reflections without judgment. Writing allowed me to free the burdens of my soul, but at some point, I muzzled myself. My pen lay dormant for years until, at 41 years old, I experienced a traumatic flashback during an everyday activity that shook me to the core. Five days later, I started writing about the things I had long withheld. I couldn’t stop. Written words have once again become my refuge. I now recognize that these words, resurrected from the ashes of my pain, may have the power to help others. Above all, I want to magnify and share the messages that I have most treasured on my journey: we are not alone and we don’t ever have to go back. This is where we live now and the future is ours.

Music and the Arts are wonderful pastimes, and many of us enjoy relaxing to songs streaming in our ears. I don’t leave the house without my earbuds. My kids have fun choosing and playing music in the car on the school run.

I wear my earbuds everywhere, whether I’m exercising, doing chores around the house, or doing laundry.

Music plays a significant role in my life, but it can also be bittersweet. Some days, music is my worst enemy.

Sometimes, a song will play on the radio or TV, and I freeze. My body instantly stops, like a robot that’s run out of batteries. I feel a twitch somewhere in my body, and I know I’ve been triggered. Seconds later, my brain hits me with unbearable pain.

I’m back there, decades ago, in a moment I want to forget, and there is nothing I can do about it. My brain has hijacked my body and is playing a private 3D movie inside my head.

No, I’m not sick or stupid, nor am I mentally ill. I have something called Complex PTSD as a result of witnessing and experiencing horrific things as a child, while also being abused in the worst possible way.

Trauma triggers can happen without any warning. I can only liken it to a seizure, in which your brain takes you inside your body, but you are completely aware of your surroundings. Your brain makes you remember, even when you don’t want to.

So, how do you come out of a trigger?

I may not be able to draw, but I can play the guitar and flute. If I’m having a bad day, listening to music doesn’t cut it for me.

I need more.

I need to feel the music emanating from my fingertips. This is when I turn to playing my own music. I feel much better after playing for an hour and have driven my emotions out through the beats and harmonies of the music.

How do you handle your feelings after a trigger?

Maybe you are like me and turn to music, but there are many ways to deal with triggers. You must try to find out what works best for you.

My most important advice is that you must take care of yourself after a triggered memory. They are exhausting, and it feels like your body has been for a workout afterward.

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Support your fellow writer:

https://ko-fi.com/elizabe69245484

Photo by Marius Masalar on Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

Elizabeth Woods

For more about me: https://www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Elizabeth Woods grew up in a world of brutal sex offenders, murderers, and inconceivably neglectful adults. Elizabeth is passionate about spreading awareness of what it is like to survive after trauma. She is the author of several books and has written her memoir, telling her childhood story: The Sex-Offender’s Daughter: A True Story of Survival Against All Odds, available on Amazon Kindle and paperback.

Elizabeth is also the author of “Living with Complex PTSD” and the Cedar’s Port Fiction series: “Saving Joshua”, “Protecting Sarah”, “Guarding Noah” and “Bringing Back Faith,” and “Restoring Hope,” available here: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0BCBZQN7L/allbooks?ingress=0&visitId=7e223b5b-1a29-45f0-ad9d-e9c8fdb59e9c&ref_=ap_rdr&ccs_id=931f96e2-c220-4765-acc8-cc99bb95e8bd

www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com/

Consider the fireflies shining into the darkness in the picture above. Let their lights shine the way throughout this reading.

In today’s post, I’m going to tackle depression.

Yeah, it’s a heavy word, with not such great connotations… You sigh and attempt to click away. Your finger hovers over the button because you want to avoid this topic. No one likes this word.

Hang on a minute. Give me a moment to explain my take on this word.

Depression.

When depression rears its ugly head, it’s hard to see anything positive. When we are stuck in the middle of a bad day, we see everything negatively. It’s a downward spiral that pulls us down like a vacuum, sucking us into darkness.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

Let me explain…

My name is Lizzy, and I have been where you are. I have had many bad days, weeks, months, and even years. I’ve got the BAD T-shirt and I don’t ever want to go back there. My childhood was full of pain and suffering, but I left that world and started again.

In my new world, I have worked to build a life away from trauma and abuse. I’ve created a world of positive influences, and I am surrounded by people who share my vision.

Depression still grabs me from time to time, and triggers drag me back to my horrific childhood. Some of these experiences draw me into days of lasting depression, including foggy brain and sluggishness. Yeah, I’ve been there.

Therapy has helped me understand why I feel the way I do after a trigger. I was hurt, but that’s in the past. Things that are difficult today are nothing compared to where I have been.

In the great scheme of things, I recognize that life is not inherently bad. I see glimmers of hope everywhere I go.

Here is the kicker: we don’t have to stay in “bad day” mode. There are tools we can use to feel better.

This is what I do when I’m having a bad day:

• Breathe — A few deep breaths will help detox our system and replenish the air in our lungs.
• Mindfulness–Think about the moment you are in, the here and now. What do you need right now? Clarity helps when we are feeling down.
• Take a comfort break–If you cannot get away from your busy schedule, do something to calm yourself down. Splash some water on your face, or grab a coffee. The change of temperature will help you reset for a minute.
• Go for a walk–If it’s the end of the day, don’t go straight home. Go for a walk in the park and notice the leaves in the trees. Hear the birds exchanging avian gossip and notice the crickets playing their serenades. Feel your surroundings and let your heartbeat match. Nature does wonders to help us feel calm.

When you get home, don’t focus your mind on what has happened; instead, look at the next moments with open eyes.

Look for the glimmers of hope. When we open our minds beyond the pain of the moment, we see that those glimmers exist and are within reach.

When I am having a rough day, a glimmer might appear as any of the following:

• The sun stretches its rays over our driveway. A bumblebee settles inside one of the pink flower buds of a bush.
• My youngest is coming to greet me at the door and show me his latest model made by Legos. His beaming face says it all.
• My oldest has tidied his bedroom and found his long-lost favorite toy. Excited, he wants to share with me his newfound treasure.
• My husband is in the kitchen stirring the cheese sauce for a mac & cheese dinner. He turns around to smile at me, and I see that he has flour smeared on his cheek.

Life is not perfect, nor is it easy. But when we stop to notice beauty and simplicity, we feel better.

Maybe you had a bad day today. Can you find some glimmers of hope that reassure you that life is actually pretty good?

In the dark of the night, we suddenly see glowing fireflies!

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you enjoyed reading this post, I invite you to follow me:

www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Support your fellow writer:

https://ko-fi.com/elizabe69245484

Photo by Renaud Confavreux on Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

Elizabeth Woods

For more about me: https://www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Elizabeth Woods grew up in a world of brutal sex offenders, murderers, and inconceivably neglectful adults. Elizabeth is passionate about spreading awareness of what it is like to survive after trauma. She is the author of several books and has written her memoir, telling her childhood story: The Sex-Offender’s Daughter: A True Story of Survival Against All Odds, available on Amazon Kindle and paperback.

Elizabeth is also the author of “Living with Complex PTSD” and the Cedar’s Port Fiction series: “Saving Joshua”, “Protecting Sarah”, “Guarding Noah” and “Bringing Back Faith,” and “Restoring Hope,” available here: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0BCBZQN7L/allbooks?ingress=0&visitId=7e223b5b-1a29-45f0-ad9d-e9c8fdb59e9c&ref_=ap_rdr&ccs_id=931f96e2-c220-4765-acc8-cc99bb95e8bd

www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com/

Do I tell my parents?
Do they deserve to know what happened to me?
Would they believe me?
Would they hold it with care, or would it break me all over again?

If you’re here, standing in that in-between place, you’re not alone. This is one of the hardest crossroads survivors face. For some, the decision feels clear. For others, like me, it’s layered and ongoing.

Sometimes the abuse happened under your parents’ roof.
Sometimes it was hidden in plain sight.
And sometimes, you don’t even know if they know.

You might find yourself circling questions like:

• Do I owe them this truth?
• Will it bring healing or harm?
• What if they can’t hold it? What if they say the wrong thing, or nothing at all?
• What if I speak it and everything changes—or worse, nothing does?

The truth is, sharing your story with a parent is not required for healing. It is a choice. And like all sacred choices, it deserves time, care, and safety.

Ask Yourself These Questions First

Before deciding to disclose, here are a few grounding questions to sit with:

1. Why do I want to share this?
Is it for connection? Clarity? Validation? To reclaim power? To draw a boundary?
There is no wrong reason, but knowing your why can anchor you.

2. What do I hope will happen? What do I fear might happen?
Give yourself permission to answer both. Hope and fear can live side by side.

3. Have I processed this enough to hold steady if their response is hurtful, shocked, or dismissive?
If not, that’s okay. It may not be time yet.

4. Do I have support ready, a friend, therapist, or coach to debrief with afterward?
You are not meant to carry this alone, no matter how strong you are.

If You Do Choose to Share, Prepare Yourself First

Here are a few things that can help:

• Write down what you want to say.
  It can be a letter, a few bullet points, or a full narrative. Organizing your thoughts helps you stay grounded.
• Practice.
  Talk it through with someone you trust. Let your nervous system rehearse what it feels like to be witnessed.
• Set boundaries before the conversation.
  Say things like, “I just need you to listen right now,” or “I’m not looking for advice or debate.”
• Prepare for all outcomes.
  They may meet you with compassion, or they may not. Your truth is still valid.
• Have a plan for how to step away if needed.
  If things get overwhelming, you get to pause, end, or redirect the conversation.

And If You Decide Not to Tell Them? That’s Valid Too.

You do not owe anyone your story. Not even your family.

You can be deeply healing and wildly brave without ever telling your parents what happened.

Not telling doesn’t mean you’re hiding. It means you are choosing what is safest, kindest, and most aligned for you right now.

And if your answer changes later? That’s okay. This journey is not linear.

Final Thoughts

This part of your story, the telling, the not telling, the wondering, still belongs to you.

You don’t have to rush. You don’t need anyone’s permission. You get to honor your truth in whatever way feels right. You are not broken. You are becoming. And that is powerful.

As for me, I still haven’t shared my story with my parents.
They can’t even hold my warm memories without minimizing them, so I’ve chosen not to interrupt my peace just to be met with silence or dismissal. I may never get the response I would hope for, and that’s a grief I’ve learned to hold gently. For now, protecting my healing matters more than being understood by people who never truly saw me.

And maybe that’s the bravest choice of all.

Photo by Ioann-Mark Kuznietsov on Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

Danica Alison

Danica Alison is an optimist, deep thinker, and out-of-the-box adventurer who finds meaning in life’s chaos. She’s a writer, a healing advocate, and someone who believes healing is a journey best traveled with curiosity, humor, and a little bit of rebellious joy.
A lifelong lover of stories, both lived and told. She is passionate about exploring the messy, beautiful process of being human. Whether she’s writing, learning, or connecting with others, she brings a mix of warmth, honesty, and a refusal to fit into neat little boxes.

www.DanicaAlison.com

Despite entering the mental health system over ten years ago, I didn’t learn about “complex trauma” or “Complex PTSD” until about three years ago. At 18, I received a PTSD diagnosis from a psychiatrist, five years after my prolonged trauma during high school had begun. This diagnosis came amid a confusing mix of various other diagnoses from different providers over the years, which further obscured an effective healing plan. Even when I worked with multiple providers who intended to collaborate, they often disagreed about my “mental illness” and the best approach to “fix” it. With all these conflicting and dehumanizing labels, I felt like a hopeless outcast in a society of “normal” people. Being burdened with nearly every possible diagnosis in the DSM resulted in a bewildering array of treatments for my “mental illness,” none of which actually addressed my root issue: trauma. There was never a need to complicate anything about it.

For years, I underwent tests, treatments, and psych meds in an attempt to alleviate my symptoms. Many times, the side effects from these treatments – especially the psych meds – were worse than the “condition” these providers were trying to cure. Unfortunately, it took me years to realize that psych medications were never the solution for my trauma-related struggles.

During most of my time in the mental health system, my mind felt very foggy. I was a disoriented, dissociated, and overmedicated young girl trying to navigate the challenges of my teenage years and young adulthood, which already come with their own drama. My experiences with misdiagnosis and overmedication will be the subject of extensive writing in the future, but for now, I’m providing context regarding the journey I’ve embarked to find answers. I have been subjected to nearly every possible treatment, all promising me peace and all ultimately failing me.

Putting the world on pause

Something had to change, and I realized that I had to spearhead that change. I embarked on a quest to understand the complexities of CPTSD. Inspired by Thoreau’s Walden, I put everything in my life on pause, moved to the countryside, and spent time in solitude. With this refreshed mindset, I immersed myself in the research and data surrounding CPTSD.

Moving to the countryside and eliminating stress naturally alleviated many of my symptoms. I had more time on my hands than I had ever had before. I focused on simple approaches to caring for my health, such as improving my nutrition, making lifestyle adjustments, exercising, and practicing breathwork and meditation. With this solid foundation in place, I felt ready to fully dedicate myself to unraveling the mystery of CPTSD while keeping my self-care as my top priority.

Stepping out into the world again

I bravely stepped out to do things I never thought I would do. Things that terrified me. I wanted to do these things, though, believing that they might bring me closer to understanding CPTSD, both for myself and for other survivors. Stepping out of my comfort zone greatly boosted my confidence. I became a guest contributor for the Complex PTSD Foundation, which gave me a voice after years of feeling unheard.

Being vulnerable in writing about my experiences has been incredibly liberating. While my pen flies, the rest of the world fades away. I allow myself to feel my emotions and let the seeds in my mind blossom into a beautiful garden on paper. I don’t have any professional writing experience beyond my school education, and I had never considered myself a “writer” before. When I write about my experiences, my thoughts can extend to about 8,000 words on just one topic – far beyond the suggested word count! This is all part of the healing process for me. I enjoy revisiting my writing, making it concise, and preparing it to present publicly. I don’t worry too much about achieving perfection; I believe that other survivors just want to hear a voice that is relatable and authentic. By the feedback I receive on my writings, I’ve come to realize that many CPTSD survivors are suffering in silence. I see that my words have offered them comfort and encouragement, letting them know that healing is possible.

Both online and in person, I’ve connected with survivor communities and engaged in one-on-one conversations with some truly extraordinary people. I have also started volunteering with local PTSD-related organizations to broaden my understanding of trauma and empathize with others whose experiences differ from mine, yet who have shared similar feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, and despair.

Through this journey, I’ve learned so much about my fellow survivors and continue to discover more daily. 

What I’ve learned about complex trauma survivors

What I’ve learned about us is that we never give up. Despite the limited and often misleading information available, we go to great lengths to find answers that help us understand why our minds, bodies, and psyches endure so much pain and how we can find relief. Unfortunately, we often find no real guidance, leaving us feeling like outsiders in this world, as if we are the only ones carrying this level of suffering.

What I’ve learned about us is that our pain can be so excruciating that we sometimes feel the only way to escape it is to end our lives. Yet somehow, we continue to hold on by a thin thread, refusing to give up hope in our search for answers.

What I’ve learned about us is that even a brief 10-second break from our suffering – just one moment of peace – can feel like a taste of heaven. However, these moments are so unfamiliar to us that when we experience them, we often feel uncomfortable, overwhelmed, and terrified. As a result, we quickly revert back to our comfort zone of constant anguish. This isn’t our fault; it is simply what we have known for far too long. 

What I’ve learned about us is that many of us entered the mental health system with good intentions and a desperate need for help, only to encounter further trauma from the very professionals who promised to protect us.

What I’ve learned about us is that many people around us – both within the medical system and outside of the system – often misunderstand our experiences due to ignorance and lack of awareness about trauma. As a result, they tend to label us as troubled, crazy, mentally ill, or disturbed, without taking the time to listen to our struggles beyond their preconceived judgments. This lack of understanding often leads us to isolate ourselves even further.

What I’ve learned about us is that many of us have always felt like we never belonged in society. We see ourselves as black sheep, lost in the crowd, never truly fitting in. This feeling stems from our uniqueness; we were never meant to conform to the masses.

What I’ve learned about us is that we look beyond the superficial aspects of life. We prioritize self-actualization and care deeply about the experiences and suffering of those around us. This profound introspection often overshadows our interest in the trivialities that others get caught up in, which is another reason we struggle to fit in. 

What I’ve learned about us is that we are detail-oriented. We notice the small things in life – the beauty of a rainbow after a storm, a lone dandelion in a vast field, or a gentle breeze brushing against our cheeks, reminding us of the freedom we once had before encountering the harsh realities of the world. 

What I’ve learned about us is that we often carry a deep sense of self-guilt, viewing ourselves as some of the most despicable people on the planet. In truth, we possess some of the purest hearts, and there was never a reason to feel guilty in the first place; we were always doing our best with the knowledge we had at the time. 

What I’ve learned about us is that we believe we’re “not normal,” but it is actually those who have harmed us who are abnormal.

What I’ve learned about us is that, regardless of how we were treated, we choose not to repeat that cycle of abuse. We don’t seek revenge for what has been done to us. Instead, we heal our pain privately and face our experiences with love and kindness when interacting with the world.

What I’ve learned about us is that we go about our daily lives – working, raising children, and managing the stressors of everyday life – while masking intense pain and pretending that nothing is wrong. We care more about the people around us than we do about ourselves. Out of this deep compassion, we neglect self-care in order to take care of others.

What I’ve learned about us is that we’re incredibly strong. In fact, the word “strong” doesn’t even begin to capture our resilience. We are impenetrable fortresses built from the mightiest oak.

As of today, I am nearing the end of my quest to understand my own suffering after more than a decade of seeking external solutions. I now live a peaceful and content life in my happy place. I have resolved most of what my body held onto for so long and am focused on rebuilding my confidence and creating the life I’ve always dreamed of.

Over the past year, I have dedicated myself entirely to healing – an endeavor that, unfortunately, has not resulted in financial compensation, but whose results are worth more than any amount of money in the entire world. I am excited to continue writing about my experiences, hoping that sharing them will help other survivors. 

If my words resonate with you, keep on fighting. I see you. I hear you. I believe you, and I believe you will conquer. If you keep working to rediscover who you are at your core and reject the lies from your past, you will achieve your beautiful dream of freedom and a peaceful life.

To my readers who have been following my journey: I am excited to share that I have created a personal blog called “Little Cabin Life.” This blog chronicles my healing journey, where I share my experiences and the things I am doing to support my recovery. You’ll also find tips that have been helpful to me along the way. If you’re interested in following my story, please feel free to visit www.littlecabinlife.com.

Photo by Marina Leonova: https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-woman-s-hand-over-a-map-7634232/

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

Natalie Rose

My name is Natalie, and I am a survivor of about 13 years of absolute psychological torture from Complex PTSD symptoms. For the longest time, I thought I was inherently sick and broken beyond repair. I spent over a decade running around in circles in the medical system trying to figure out what was “wrong” with me and how to “fix” it.

♡ What is Complex PTSD? ♡

Complex PTSD symptoms come from severe, prolonged, and numerous incidents of trauma, typically of a relational nature. Symptoms can come from any type of trauma, though, and the trauma doesn’t necessarily have to stem from childhood — adults can develop CPTSD as well. Trauma can damage the brain and shrink the hippocampus, causing many of the symptoms of CPTSD. I decided to go public with my story to be a voice for the voiceless. There are too many survivors being told CPTSD is a lifelong sentence, and they are not being given the tools they need to overcome their symptoms.

♡ My Story ♡

I endured multiple types of traumas starting at around age thirteen, including numerous situations of both individual and large-group interpersonal cruelty. Some of these situations forced me to switch environments. My body couldn’t fathom what was happening, and my nervous system shut down. I saw danger everywhere, operated in a panicked survival mode, and lived in fear, anxiety, and isolation. I did my best to appear “normal” on the outside, keep a smile on my face, and control what was happening on the inside, distracting myself with extreme workaholism and doing nice things for others. I took active steps to keep branching out in confidence again, but these traumas kept piling onto each other and overlapping. I wasn’t ready to give up yet, though, because I knew my family and friends would be distraught if I did. The most difficult and heartbreaking part of my story is that the two communities I set out to seek healing in—religion and the medical system itself—caused further trauma when some religious leaders, congregation members, and medical professionals chose to take advantage of my vulnerability for their own motives. In most of these situations, I didn’t even realize I was a victim until outsiders pointed it out for me and that my vulnerability made me a target of malicious people. Each future situation of being targeted was just salt on the wound of the original incident.

♡ My Struggles to Find Answers ♡

What I went through all those years was so severe, and my symptoms and physical body reactions as a result were so excruciating that I went as far as to see a neurologist, concerned that my symptoms were the result of some sort of nervous system disorder. However, he returned with no paperwork in his hands to inform me that there was nothing wrong with me but that I was simply completely traumatized, and my body reacted accordingly. I finally realized that my symptoms were not the result of an inherent mental or physical illness and began to take a trauma-based approach to my healing after many years of believing that I was “sick” for the rest of my life. My true progress began when I finally rejected the lies that were told to me that I would have to manage my symptoms for the rest of my life and made the decision to believe that I was fully capable of healing from my excruciating pain.

♡ Finding My Own Healing ♡

I am excited to share tips for natural, somatic, and holistic healing that have helped me overcome things like dissociation, flashbacks, sleep challenges, anxiety, hypervigilance, and more. I began to pursue unique methods of healing after many years of not seeing much progress through westernized care, and this was the catalyst for fast-tracking my healing. I aim to help survivors overcome their feelings of self-guilt, blame, and humiliation and help them realize that their bodies had normal reactions to abnormal situations.

I’m so glad I didn’t give up when my pain felt unbearable. I know what I’ve survived. I know the work I’ve put in to overcome it. I am finally living a life of consistent peace and contentment, and I am sharing my story from the other side. I hope to encourage other survivors that there was never anything wrong with them to begin with and that they are capable of living healthy, happy, and fulfilled lives. I aim to live my life in love of both others and myself, understanding that everyone has a story of their own. I am grateful to the CPTSD Foundation for giving me an opportunity to share my story.

♡ Personal Blog ♡

To learn more about my healing journey, please visit my personal blog, “Little Cabin Life,” at:
littlecabinlife.com

What’s the tightrope I walk of being a woman in the society I live in? 

When a woman knows her worth, some men feel threatened by her.

When a woman knows her worth, some women feel threatened by her. 

If a woman is confident, knows what she wants, is assertive, and keeps her head held high, she’s arrogant, she’s a braggart, she’s another word that also starts with the letter “B,” and she needs to shut up.

If a woman is soft-spoken in her mannerisms and voice, she’s weak, she’s a pushover, and she’s not a team player.

If she falls in the middle, she’s lost in the background and has nothing to offer.

If her dresses are too short, she’s promiscuous and was asking for it.

If her dresses are long, she’s a prude and has no sex appeal.

If her dresses fall somewhere in the middle, she’ll get catcalled regardless, and it’s still her fault for being a temptress.

If a woman gets married and has children in her early 20s, she’s “rushing her life,” and she’ll be divorced in 10 years anyway.

If a woman doesn’t get married until her late 30s, she’s “an old maid,” and it’s such a shame that no one wanted her while she was in her prime.

If a woman never marries or has children, she’s not carrying out what she’s “supposed” to according to societal expectations. 

As a woman, I’ve gotten criticism from every angle throughout my life.

I began my undergraduate studies in computer science and learned on the first day of class that wearing a bright yellow sundress to class probably wasn’t the best idea; the stares that the guys in the class gave me showed what they were really thinking: “She’s lost.”

I would stand in line at the career fair for internships at technology companies and get comments from my male peers in the line like, “This booth is for Software Engineering roles only” and “Well… you don’t look like a computer scientist.” I thought to myself: Then, what’s a computer scientist supposed to look like? 

Even churches weren’t immune. Although I had just turned twenty, I was always asked, “Where’s your husband?” When they found out I was still single, they’d say with great fervor, “Well, don’t you worry, we’ll find you your knight in shining armor!” Am I really some sort of damsel in distress who needs a knight in shining armor to come to save me? 

In high school, I was the only female on the robotics team with about 25 other boys, and many of them were so uncomfortable with my presence that they couldn’t even look me in the eyes or call me by name. I never felt uncomfortable around them, but the fact that they felt uncomfortable around me made me feel uncomfortable.

I tinkered with robots and Arduinos at school; then after school, I threw on my leotard and tights to go practice my pirouettes at the dance studio. This was my norm. I was never ashamed of embracing my femininity and holding my own while pursuing what I was genuinely passionate about, no matter what kind of environment I was in.

When I reflect on the conflicting standards of womanhood our society holds, they don’t make sense to me. I’ve come to realize that I’ll never please everyone, nor should I have to. The closed-minded opinions people hold about a woman’s role only result in confusion and judgment when they encounter someone who breaks their static view of what is “normal” in our society. And I’m finally okay with that.

What’s my personal definition of womanhood?

I lose track of time for six hours designing a website, and then I’ll go dance my heart out at dance class so I can get a break from the laptop. The clothes in my closet range from bright, flowery, frilly dresses to sweatpants and ginormous T-shirts, as well as my Jiu-Jitsu training gear. (It’s great for self-defense!)

Although I’ve struggled with acne and rosacea for many years, I don’t wear any makeup like I did when I was a teenager. I embrace the imperfections on my skin and no longer feel the need to cover up those blemishes. I love my natural hair color, so I don’t get it colored at the salon. In the mornings, I don’t flat iron or curl my hair either; I just let it hang loose the way it is or throw it into a messy bun and get about my day. It’s a rarity that I get my nails done anymore—in the past, I only kept up with that expensive hobby to fit in with the other women in the environments I was in. Over time, I decided that money could be spent on more productive things such as online courses and other opportunities for personal growth.

Although it seems that many women my age are already married and on their first baby, I am confident in my singleness and the time I’ve had to embrace my journey of healing and self-discovery. Establishing fierce independence at this age has given me the confidence to know that if I ever do get married, I will know who I am at my core and will not need to depend on another person to take care of me.

I’ve regained the ambition and creativity I had during childhood, and I’m putting in the time and effort to decide how I want to live the rest of my life and achieve my personal goals. I forgive easily, am not afraid to listen to someone who has a different opinion than my own, and have a “live and let live” philosophy. I own my actions and don’t shy away from hard conversations.

Regardless of my ability to be social when needed, I’m not one to hang out in large crowds, go to concerts or sports games, or revel in gossip circles or petty drama. My idea of weekend fun is cozying up at home alone with my fuzzy socks and blanket, lighting my favorite cranberry apple-scented candle, and losing myself in a good book.

This is my personal definition of womanhood. 

I love embracing what makes me unique in my womanhood and not letting anyone define my femininity. Although I second-guessed myself in the past, I no longer feel guilty when I don’t submit to any standards of who a woman “should” be according to the world I live in. I choose my own path the way that I want to walk it, without fear of admonishment or punishment from others. In a society that profits off of women’s insecurities and fears, this can be a lonely path, but I no longer feel threatened by other people’s closed-minded opinions.

I am proud that I have finally gotten to the point on my journey where I no longer feel the need to change who I am to make anyone — whether a man or a woman — approve of me.

I am Natalie Rose, and I am proud to be me.

Photo by Brian Mann on Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

Natalie Rose

My name is Natalie, and I am a survivor of about 13 years of absolute psychological torture from Complex PTSD symptoms. For the longest time, I thought I was inherently sick and broken beyond repair. I spent over a decade running around in circles in the medical system trying to figure out what was “wrong” with me and how to “fix” it.

♡ What is Complex PTSD? ♡

Complex PTSD symptoms come from severe, prolonged, and numerous incidents of trauma, typically of a relational nature. Symptoms can come from any type of trauma, though, and the trauma doesn’t necessarily have to stem from childhood — adults can develop CPTSD as well. Trauma can damage the brain and shrink the hippocampus, causing many of the symptoms of CPTSD. I decided to go public with my story to be a voice for the voiceless. There are too many survivors being told CPTSD is a lifelong sentence, and they are not being given the tools they need to overcome their symptoms.

♡ My Story ♡

I endured multiple types of traumas starting at around age thirteen, including numerous situations of both individual and large-group interpersonal cruelty. Some of these situations forced me to switch environments. My body couldn’t fathom what was happening, and my nervous system shut down. I saw danger everywhere, operated in a panicked survival mode, and lived in fear, anxiety, and isolation. I did my best to appear “normal” on the outside, keep a smile on my face, and control what was happening on the inside, distracting myself with extreme workaholism and doing nice things for others. I took active steps to keep branching out in confidence again, but these traumas kept piling onto each other and overlapping. I wasn’t ready to give up yet, though, because I knew my family and friends would be distraught if I did. The most difficult and heartbreaking part of my story is that the two communities I set out to seek healing in—religion and the medical system itself—caused further trauma when some religious leaders, congregation members, and medical professionals chose to take advantage of my vulnerability for their own motives. In most of these situations, I didn’t even realize I was a victim until outsiders pointed it out for me and that my vulnerability made me a target of malicious people. Each future situation of being targeted was just salt on the wound of the original incident.

♡ My Struggles to Find Answers ♡

What I went through all those years was so severe, and my symptoms and physical body reactions as a result were so excruciating that I went as far as to see a neurologist, concerned that my symptoms were the result of some sort of nervous system disorder. However, he returned with no paperwork in his hands to inform me that there was nothing wrong with me but that I was simply completely traumatized, and my body reacted accordingly. I finally realized that my symptoms were not the result of an inherent mental or physical illness and began to take a trauma-based approach to my healing after many years of believing that I was “sick” for the rest of my life. My true progress began when I finally rejected the lies that were told to me that I would have to manage my symptoms for the rest of my life and made the decision to believe that I was fully capable of healing from my excruciating pain.

♡ Finding My Own Healing ♡

I am excited to share tips for natural, somatic, and holistic healing that have helped me overcome things like dissociation, flashbacks, sleep challenges, anxiety, hypervigilance, and more. I began to pursue unique methods of healing after many years of not seeing much progress through westernized care, and this was the catalyst for fast-tracking my healing. I aim to help survivors overcome their feelings of self-guilt, blame, and humiliation and help them realize that their bodies had normal reactions to abnormal situations.

I’m so glad I didn’t give up when my pain felt unbearable. I know what I’ve survived. I know the work I’ve put in to overcome it. I am finally living a life of consistent peace and contentment, and I am sharing my story from the other side. I hope to encourage other survivors that there was never anything wrong with them to begin with and that they are capable of living healthy, happy, and fulfilled lives. I aim to live my life in love of both others and myself, understanding that everyone has a story of their own. I am grateful to the CPTSD Foundation for giving me an opportunity to share my story.

♡ Personal Blog ♡

To learn more about my healing journey, please visit my personal blog, “Little Cabin Life,” at:
littlecabinlife.com