Why the edge can feel unsafe

Humans did not evolve on memory foam in locked bedrooms. For most of our history, we slept on the ground, in caves, in huts with thin doors. Exposed limbs meant exposed entry points. Predators target extremities and the neck because access is easier. The nervous system solved that problem by favoring positions that protect the core: curl, cover, and tuck. That is not fear. It is pattern recognition preserved across generations. The amygdala still scans in the background during sleep, and it does not retire just because you purchased a better mattress.

Evolutionary memory that is still on duty

Even today, the brain runs a quiet night watch. On the first night in an unfamiliar place, sleep becomes asymmetric; one hemisphere remains more alert while the other rests. Laboratory work has demonstrated this first-night effect with imaging that shows a built-in vigilance system holding partial guard. That is biology, not superstition, and it helps explain why the edge of a bed in a new setting can feel like a cliff rather than a cushion.

Trauma history changes the map

Trauma shifts sleep from rest to strategy. People with childhood abuse, severe neglect, or control-based punishment often adopt positions that prioritize mobility, concealment, or both. Some sleep near the edge with one leg ready to move because escape has been coded as necessary. Others cannot tolerate uncovered limbs at all and cocoon under blankets even in warm rooms, not for comfort but for defense of the areas perpetrators once accessed. These choices are rarely conscious. They are solutions installed by experience and maintained by a threat-biased nervous system.

Posture, perception, and what the research suggests

Sleep posture correlates with emotional states in population studies and clinical reviews. Fetal-style sleepers more often report higher stress and adverse life events. Supine sleepers show a higher association with sleep paralysis in several samples. Side and edge positions vary; for some, the choice is airflow and spinal ease, for others, it is a safety cue learned a long time ago. None of this proves a single rule. It does support what clinicians observe: position is not random for many survivors.

Temperature, physiology, and learned associations

Feet are fast radiators. Specialized vessels in the hands and feet move heat quickly, so a foot outside the covers can lower body temperature and help with sleep onset. Biology does not operate in a vacuum, though. If cold feet were paired with fear, isolation, or punishment, the same sensation can function as a warning rather than a comfort. The body votes based on memory more than on textbook physiology.

Practical steps that respect biology

Start with observation rather than force. Notice how your body positions itself in the first moments of waking and the last moments before sleep. Those are honest windows. Make small experiments without pressure. If you want to test more exposure, begin with a toe or ankle rather than a full limb and see what the body permits. Do not copy someone else’s version of calm. One person sprawls because their system is quiet; another curls because their system is careful. Adjust the room before you try to adjust your biology. Lower the bed, soften the lighting, and set a temperature that signals safety. Some people settle with breathable sheets and a light-weight throw; others require no weight at all. There is no universal fix. The point is to give the nervous system current evidence that the environment is safe in the present day.

Final thoughts

Edge anxiety is not drama, and it is not immaturity. It is a living record of what kept people safe. If your legs lock tight or you pull the blanket over your head every night, that is not a flaw. It is survival programming that has not yet been given a stable reason to retire. Whether you sleep centered like a sandbag or hold the perimeter like a lookout, the pattern makes sense once the history is named. Your brain did not forget what life taught it, especially at night.

References

Tamaki M, Bang JW, Watanabe T, Sasaki Y. Night watch in one brain hemisphere during sleep associated with the first-night effect in humans. Current Biology. 2016;26(9):1190-1194.
Jalal B, Romanelli A, Hinton DE. Sleep paralysis in Italy: frequency, symptoms, and the role of cultural interpretation. Consciousness and Cognition. 2017;51:298-305.
Suni E, Chen W, Jungquist C, et al. Sleep position and mental health: a scoping review. Sleep Health. 2017;3(6):460-467.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

Dr. Mozelle Martin

Dr. Mozelle Martin is a retired trauma therapist and former Clinical Director of a trauma center, with extensive experience in forensic psychology, criminology, and applied ethics. A survivor of childhood and young adulthood trauma, Dr. Martin has dedicated decades to understanding the psychological and ethical complexities of trauma, crime, and accountability. Her career began as a volunteer in a women’s domestic violence shelter, then as a SA hospital advocate, later becoming a Crisis Therapist working alongside law enforcement on the streets of Phoenix. She went on to earn an AS in Psychology, a BS in Forensic Psychology, an MA in Criminology, and a PhD in Applied Ethics, ultimately working extensively in forensic mental health—providing psychological assessments, intervention, and rehabilitative support with inmates and in the community. A published author and lifelong student of life, she continues to explore the relationship and crossovers of forensic science, mental health, and ethical accountability in both historical and modern contexts.

www.InkProfiler.com

Body-The Physical Part of Insomnia

“If I am going to deal with insomnia, I do not need to conquer my body. I need to befriend it. “

You cannot ignore the body if you want to cure insomnia, but as a trauma survivor, that is exactly what I have been trained to do by my abusers. When chronic childhood abuse enters the picture, it makes an enemy of our body. We had no control over what was done to it, so we separated from it and even turned against it. The body, with its needs, wants, and desires become part of the problem. We see it as an obstacle. How many times have I raged at myself for not being able to sleep? Too many to count. What is wrong with me? Is my brain broken? Why does my body refuse to cooperate? Why won’t it sleep if sleep is an inherent need? And then, I am reduced to self-hatred, bitterness, frustration, and anger. I’m raging at an enemy that doesn’t exist. If I am going to deal with insomnia, I do not need to conquer my body. I need to befriend it. 

I need to reframe the way I think about it. My body is sacred. It is what allows me to move around in the world. It is what houses my thoughts, hopes and dreams. It is part of who I am—and it is good. I need to care for my body, not hate it. In addition to utilizing relaxation exercises, I must learn how to set the stage for sleep using something called sleep structure. 

The goal is to make bed a cue for sleep. Insomnia makes the bed an enemy. Even if you’re exhausted, the moment you get into bed, you suddenly become awake. You’ve spent so many hours frustrated in bed that your sleep environment has become a stimulus associated with insomnia. Another phrase that describes this phenomenon is negative sleep behavior.

Common types of negative sleep behavior:

• -sleeping in
• -going to bed too early 
• -spending too much time in bed awake
• -sleeping pills
• -putting too much effort into sleep

So how do I get off the negative sleep track? There are four main areas sleep structure will address. Both take time and consistency. 

1. The time you go to bed
2. How long do you spend in bed
3. The time you wake up
4. What do you do when you can’t sleep

“One of the most important things to remember: Sleep is a passive process.”

Mind-The Thought Process of Insomnia

Auto-Pilot

In trying to cope with insomnia, my mind has unconsciously formed habits that make it worse. Auto-pilot (disassociation), or splitting, as some call it, is a way to go numb. I do it to get relief from spiraling thoughts. Late-night numbing might include things like watching videos or eating. While these activities help in the short run, in the long run, they make insomnia worse. Instead of learning to let my mind wind down, I use high-carb & sugary foods like a drug. Watching mind-numbing videos might anesthetize me until I’m exhausted, but it isn’t teaching my mind how to let go and sleep. 

Mind Sifting

I call this next bad sleep habit—mind sifting. The night is not the time to process the past or worry about a problem. Your defenses are down, and often, the body is in pain. The habit of sifting, whether you’re going through the past or worrying about the future causes trauma thoughts to grow louder. 

Negative Sleep Thoughts

Negative sleep thoughts create stress around sleep, which then causes negative sleep behaviors. I’m not talking about working harder at insomnia. I’m talking about creating a structure that leads to sleep and the first place to start is with your beliefs. 

Negative thoughts/beliefs about sleep:

• I’m overtired and can’t fall asleep
• I’ll never fall asleep again
• I will always struggle with insomnia

The frustrating part is that these are normal responses to insomnia, but if you let them take over, they will make insomnia worse. They lead to hyper-arousal and all the behavior and destructive thought processes associated with trauma. 

What to do

By shifting your beliefs, you recognize, then challenge, and then replace those negative sleep thoughts with positive ones. I’m not talking about affirmations. I’m talking about shifting your beliefs to thoughts that are 100% true.  

Positive facts about sleep: 

• My brain is not broken
• I do not need to try harder to sleep. I need to create the possibility for sleep.
• Sleep is a passive process.

“The more inner healing work a trauma survivor does, the better we get at managing insomnia.”

Spirit

Managing Everyday Stress

The spirit. That deep, inner place where our thoughts, desires, hopes, and dreams reside. The place most hurt by childhood trauma. Managing everyday stress has everything to do with managing insomnia. If I consistently go through my day aroused by every frustration and difficulty, it is a sure bet I am going to struggle with insomnia that night. My spirit will be upset. I will not be able to live in peace or hope to relax. All that stress correlates to insomnia. The more inner healing work a trauma survivor does, the better we get at managing insomnia. 

While overcoming insomnia is a complicated process, when you look at it as a whole, it is manageable. Although there is no quick fix, there is a path, and that’s what matters. Slow and steady wins the race. 

“Sleep is an unconscious process.”

Make A Plan

Screens -As nighttime approaches, begin to shut down your screens. Give yourself time to unwind from the stress of the day. 

Notebook – Keep a blank notebook handy. Write down any anxious thoughts that come to mind. You might have separate lists such as Worries, To-Do List, and Trauma Thoughts. Don’t invite the thought to stay. Write it down and tell yourself you will deal with it first thing in the morning. 

Meditation-Keeping your mind blank is impossible. Replace negative thoughts with restful, positive ones. I use scripture to help me do this. Prayer is another way. Perhaps a restful poem. Anything that feeds your mind and spirit while helping you to relax. Whatever causes your mind to race and become aroused is something to save for the next day.

Mind/Body Relaxation Exercises – These are included with my ebook and are available for free download on my website. Relaxation exercises can help make a positive mind/body connection and prepare you for sleep. 

When You Can’t Sleep -choose an activity like a craft or book that is pleasurable but not stimulating. Listen to a sleepy story. Don’t do things like clean out the refrigerator or plan a new painting. That may be fun, but it will keep you up even longer.  

Shifts

Shift 1– Understand the real cause for insomnia. Don’t concentrate on triggers ie: depression, stress. Triggers lead to the cycle of poor sleep. Example: negative sleep thoughts=negative sleep behaviors= more poor sleep etc. The problem isn’t the trigger. It is our behavior in response to that trigger.

Shift 2– External sleeping pills do not treat insomnia. They only treat the symptoms and interfere with the normal sleep cycle and REM sleep. They are also addictive and come with side effects. Using external things to manage insomnia undermines self-management.

Shift 3- Make your bed a cue for sleep. The bed has become an enemy for sleep instead of an ally. Our sleep environment has become a cue for arousal because of the hours we’ve spent tossing and turning.

Shift 4-Remove effort from trying to sleep. The conscious mind gets in the way of sleep. Sleep is an unconscious process. Trying leads to bad sleep behaviors. Effort causes hyperarousal. The key is to create conditions that make effortless sleep possible. 

Two ingredients are needed for effortless sleep: 

1)Enough sleep pressure 

Whether this means naps or sleeping in, sleeping too much during the day will destroy your body’s natural need for sleep (sleep pressure). As long as you are taking away from sleep pressure during the day, the automatic need for sleep will not take over at night. 

2)Relaxed enough for sleep.

Working at making yourself sleep will only do one thing; keep you awake. Sleep is unconscious. If you approach the negative thoughts and behaviors around sleep instead of sleep itself, you will see an improvement. 

Conquering insomnia will occur in stages. Don’t beat yourself up when the progress is slow. Example: I found I could fall asleep on the couch but not in the bed. This common occurrence happens because I associate the bed with insomnia. Even though I hated sleeping on the couch, I let myself do that for a long time. I stopped getting angry at myself about it and worked on other areas of insomnia. Without even trying, I eventually and consistently began to fall asleep in bed. Trauma had taken so much from us. Try to be patient and kind to yourself as you heal insomnia.

To receive a list of ways to turn hyper-arousal off, download my free ebook “Conquer Insomnia” on my website: defytraumaembracejoy.com or email a request to hello@defytraumaembracejoy.com  And sign up for my free newsletter while you’re there.

Some concepts in this article are taken from the following sources:

 Dr. Steve Orma’s “Put Insomnia to Sleep” program.  

Beth Kendall

Rebekah Brown

Rebekah Brown, a native of the south, now resides in the Great American West. Surviving a complicated and abusive family system makes her unique writing style insightful as well as uplifting. Rebekah is the proud mother of two and grandmother of four.

My family often told me as a child that I was “too sensitive.” I never understood why. All I wanted to do was to talk about my feelings. My kindergarten teacher told my parents that I was “extremely shy.” I was probably around ten or eleven when my siblings began teasing me about being oversensitive. What started when I was young continued into my teen years and then into adulthood.

What I didn’t know at the time was that I’d eventually come to lose the ability to feel anything. Because my feelings became squashed repeatedly, my body learned to shut down completely. As I entered my twenties, I was afraid to show any emotions. I blocked out my pain, happiness, and true joy. It was better that way because I felt like no one understood me.

That all changed when I read the book, The Highly Sensitive Person by psychologist Elaine Aron. The first publication of her book came out in 1996 when I was in my thirties. It felt like I was reading about myself, and it changed my way of thinking. I no longer felt flawed.

According to the groundbreaking documentary titled SENSITIVE —The Untold Story

Between 15-20 percent of the population are considered highly sensitive.

What is the definition of a Highly Sensitive Person?

Dr. Elaine Aron coined the term —Highly Sensitive Person, which defines a distinct personality trait that affects as many as one out of every five people. According to Dr. Aron’s definition, the highly sensitive person (HSP) has a sensitive nervous system, is aware of subtleties in their surroundings, and is more easily overwhelmed when in a highly stimulating environment.

Being a highly sensitive person is much more than just being hurt by what someone says about you. Because our emotions are more profound, our feelings can get damaged easily.

Dr. Aron created an ACRONYM as a way of describing the Highly Sensitive Person

DOES

D: Is for Depth of Processing

HSPs are highly intuitive. We process everything more, relating and comparing what we notice to our past experiences with other similar things. We do it whether we are aware of it or not. We decide things without knowing why or how we came to that decision. It’s what we call it is our intuition.

O: Overstimulation

While others can occasionally manage overstimulation, it’s a fact of life for those who fall into that 15-20 percent of the population considered highly sensitive. Sometimes, the world is distressing, too loud, and too much.

E: Emotional Reactivity

We have a strong sense of empathy, awareness, and self-other processing. We react more to both positive and negative experiences.

HSPs are more in tune with others. We can take on the feelings and emotions of others and put ourselves in their shoes (which can be a strength and a challenge).

S: Sensing the Subtle

We are aware of the subtle things in our environment that others would most likely not notice, like sights, sounds, and smells.

Nature and the arts move us.

We can sense hostility or tension in social situations where others may not notice it.

Five Ways to Survive and Thrive as a Highly Sensitive Person

1. Honor Your Intuition

Because HSPs are more in tune with the environment and what is happening, they tend to think, feel, and process things intensely. Sometimes we “just know” something without realizing how. Since we are aware of the subtle things, some have called it the “sixth sense.”

Psychologist Elaine Aron says highly sensitive people (HSPs) “are all creative by definition because we process things thoroughly and notice so many subtleties and emotional meanings that we can easily put two unusual things together.” Trust your intuition!

2. Limit Sensory Overload

Certain external stimuli, like loud noises, bright lite places, and highly crowded areas, bother us. The sounds of many people talking and noisy traffic may be heavier for highly sensitive people. Try to limit your time with these. If you can’t, noise-canceling headphones are fabulous.

3. The Need for DownTime

The world is overwhelming sometimes because we feel so much more. Taking in and processing too much information from the inner and outer worlds can be “too much.” Reduce the chance of burnout by focusing on early signs like anxiousness and feeling overwhelmed.

We can quickly become worn out after a busy day, so make sure you have a quiet place to retreat. Try to cut down on multitasking. Time to relax is essential. I curl up in a comfy blanket and listen to music or read a book.

4. Get Plenty of Sleep

How much sleep you get can make or break your day.

For most people, lack of sleep (less than 7 hours a night) makes the average person irritable and less productive. But lack of rest for the sensitive person will make life almost unbearable.

5. Enjoy Nature

Avoid violent movies or television shows. Instead, get out in Nature. Being outside in Nature is calming to highly sensitive people. It is a natural healing place, we love the quiet, and it centers us. We are deeply affected by the beauty of Nature and feel alive there.

Most of all—Believe in yourself. Instead of becoming angry at people who offend or don’t understand you, focus on your journey. What others think or say about you does not matter when you believe in yourself. There is no need to apologize for feeling too deeply or caring about the world around you and the people you love- the world needs more people who love and care genuinely.

For more information on Dr. Elaine Aron or if you are a highly sensitive person, visit: The sensitivity Test.Visit https://sensitivityresearch.com for additional research on sensitivity

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

Susan Morris

Susan Frances Morris is the author of The Sensitive One, a memoir dealing with childhood trauma, abuse, health, and healing. She holds a bachelor’s degree in nursing and was a practicing nurse from 1989 to 2011, primarily in Women’s Health. She was raised in Springfield, Massachusetts, the second oldest of seven siblings with two sets of twins.  http://susanfrancesmorris.com

susanfrancesmorris.com

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a psychiatric disorder triggered by experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event. Among the symptoms associated with PTSD are sleep problems, which BMC Psychiatry points out occur in as much as 70 to 92% of those with PTSD. These commonly cause shorter sleep duration and poorer sleep quality. However, PTSD and sleep are more interconnected than you may think — the previous night’s sleep can affect the next day’s PTSS (post-traumatic stress symptoms). So to help improve PTSD, good sleep is necessary. And to improve your sleep, you’ll need to identify what problem/s you have and what you can do to alleviate them.

Common Sleep Issues for People with PTSD

• Insomnia: Insomnia refers to the difficulty of falling and/or staying asleep despite being tired and is the most common sleep disorder among those with PTSD. Sarah Covert shares how insomnia is the body’s response to trauma by keeping you alert in case of danger. It’s a lingering effect of having been in a situation that required constant vigilance. Insomnia can be accompanied by the anxiety of having to go to bed due to the possibility of experiencing intrusive thoughts or flashbacks while trying to sleep.
•  Hyperarousal: Hyperarousal is a severe PTSD symptom that’s characterized by extensive jittery feelings, inability to concentrate, and paranoia. SymptomFind, a health and wellness site that catalogs common and uncommon ailments, discusses the problem of waking up in the middle of the night. They cite psychological causes as the main reason for hyperarousal, in which a person can wake up sweating excessively, with a rapid heartbeat and shortness of breath. This is also associated with nightmares, sleep apnea, and insomnia, which PTSD sufferers commonly experience. A person can be more sensitive to their environment even while sleeping as the brain may register stimuli as a possible danger
• Nightmares: Dreams help experiences become integrated into long-term memory. These can also simulate events and let us try different responses, and this can help a person cope. The same is true for nightmares, which are an intense expression of our body trying to work through trauma. Nightmares related to PTSD usually subside after a few months. But sometimes, the brain has difficulties in managing the fear response, which causes long-term repetitive nightmares.

How to Address PTSD-Related Sleep Issues

• Develop a good sleep environment: One main reason that people with PTSD have sleep problems is that we’re most vulnerable when we’re asleep — so by keeping awake, we’re sure that we can stay out of danger. Because of this, it’s important to create a sleeping environment where we feel safe. A quiet and dark bedroom works best, having as few stimuli as possible that might cause you to wake up. But you can tweak your environment depending on what calms you. For example, if your trauma is connected to the dark, you can use dim lights in the bedroom so you can still see your surroundings without affecting your circadian rhythm.
•  Improve lifestyle habits that affect sleep: Practicing good sleep hygiene can help reduce PTSD-related sleep problems. The Sleep Foundation suggests following a consistent nightly routine, such as unplugging from electronics and winding down 30 minutes before going to bed, to help put you at ease before sleeping. It’s also a good idea to have healthy daily habits, such as being physically active and getting some sunlight and fresh air. Having routines during the day helps support your circadian rhythm, which may limit sleep disruptions.
•  Seek professional intervention: If your sleep problems are getting better despite your best efforts, it’s best to consult a professional. For those with insomnia, you may undergo CBT-I (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia), which focuses on cognitive restructuring and stimulus control to help them associate the bed as a place for sleep and rest. Meanwhile, Frontiers in Psychology talks about how lucid dreaming may help those experiencing nightmares. By being aware that they’re having a nightmare, they may be able to actively influence the dream to make them less threatening.Sleep disorders in people with PTSD may be common, but they should not be left unaddressed. Explore our site here on CPTSD Foundation to see how you can get professional help.

Specially written for cptsdfoundation.org by Bette Jaeger

Bette Jaeger