Life doesn’t need to crash completely for you to feel “down on your luck.” A failed promotion, a work project that didn’t go as planned, or a missed opportunity can set you back months.

Maybe the boss is riding you each day for quicker results? Sometimes you just feel undervalued, and you want to throw in the towel.

When things at work feel tense, it’s hard to keep going, and you feel stuck. Sometimes your personal life blows up at the same time. Your husband might have a fall at work and earn himself an expensive trip to the ER.

Your kid breaks an arm at the wrong time of the month, and the insurance deductibles ramp up your spending. Anything can happen to turn a rainy day into a tropical storm.

The saying, “When life gives you lemons — make lemonade,” can leave a nasty aftertaste in your mouth. It’s easier said than done.

Many people live paycheck to paycheck, and it’s not easy to change jobs or routines when money is the driver behind our actions. There is no financial flexibility.

If something doesn’t feel right–then it probably isn’t. That nagging feeling inside tells us we need a change.

Are you paying attention to what your mind is telling you?

Think about your life, and what’s going on.

Are you happy at work? If the answer is no, consider your skills.

What are your strengths? Are you good with numbers, computers, people, or animals? Where do you see yourself in five years?

Think about your ideal job.

What would you like to do for a living?

If your mind is telling you something different from where you work, then maybe you need to start looking for new opportunities.

Pause–Take a mental health day and relax. Where does your mind go when you allow yourself to daydream?

Breathe — deep breathing and yoga are fantastic for regulating your nervous system and unwinding.

Ponder–Think about what you want from your career. Where is your mind taking you?

Choose–Look for job openings and new opportunities. Research a business loan if you are considering starting up your own company.

Do–If you believe it, then you will achieve it. Go for it.

I’m an MFA student, and I will graduate this spring. I should have graduated last summer, but I was forced to delay due to life/work commitments. It turns out that I’m not superwoman, and working full-time while supporting my family is not conducive to studying as much as I want. There simply aren’t enough hours in the day if I want to sleep at some point. Other people in my MFA program can devote more time to their thesis research because they don’t work as much as I do. Some weeks, I’ve struggled to read everything on the reading lists and turn in weekly assignments. I’ve gotten good grades, but I wanted to do more.

Do you ever feel like you want more?

The turning point for me came a few months ago when someone on the program realized that I was under pressure, and asked me the questions that I posed at the beginning of this article.

How are you doing? How is life treating you at the moment? Where do you see yourself in five years?

Imagining yourself in your dream job can do miracles for your mental health. If you can believe that you can achieve your dreams, then you are halfway there. The first step is to believe that you can.

Just one small step.

Once you see a clear step towards your goal, the day-to-day doesn’t seem as demanding.

You can handle everything better because you know that “right now” is not forever.

Your mind is your greatest friend when you think positively about your life. If you start thinking negatively, your mind turns against you, and everything starts to feel very hard and challenging.

Keep your chin up. and think of your goals and dreams.

Where do you want to be in five years? What’s holding you back?

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Support your fellow writer:

https://ko-fi.com/elizabe69245484

Here are a few links to my articles:

Looking for a Change?

https://medium.com/activated-thinker/looking-for-a-change-f391e85abbd7

A Search for Identity

https://medium.com/beyond-lines/a-search-for-identity-893df7c970c2

Are You Searching for Peace?

https://medium.com/illumination/are-you-searching-for-peace-cd54d76231c8

Are You Dealing With Burnout?

https://medium.com/illumination/are-you-dealing-with-burnout-374f774141b4

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

Elizabeth Woods

For more about me: https://www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Elizabeth Woods grew up in a world of brutal sex offenders, murderers, and inconceivably neglectful adults. Elizabeth is passionate about spreading awareness of what it is like to survive after trauma. She is the author of several books and has written her memoir, telling her childhood story: The Sex-Offender’s Daughter: A True Story of Survival Against All Odds, available on Amazon Kindle and paperback.

Elizabeth is also the author of “Living with Complex PTSD” and the Cedar’s Port Fiction series: “Saving Joshua”, “Protecting Sarah”, “Guarding Noah” and “Bringing Back Faith,” and “Restoring Hope,” available here: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0BCBZQN7L/allbooks?ingress=0&visitId=7e223b5b-1a29-45f0-ad9d-e9c8fdb59e9c&ref_=ap_rdr&ccs_id=931f96e2-c220-4765-acc8-cc99bb95e8bd

www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com/

In trauma psychology, this mindset rarely stems from hopelessness. It comes from self-protection. Those who have lived or worked in prolonged contact with harm—survivors, investigators, clinicians, first responders—carry nervous systems engineered for surveillance. The brain starts to equate control with safety. When it cannot stop cruelty, it tries to stop proximity to it. The belief that no one should have to be born into this becomes a boundary, not a breakdown.

From a philosophical standpoint, antinatalism questions whether existence is a gift or a burden. From a forensic-behavioral one, it signals moral exhaustion—the collapse of conscience under sustained exposure to suffering. Individuals embedded in trauma-dense fields such as criminal justice, environmental protection, animal welfare, and emergency medicine encounter daily proof that harm often outpaces help. Over the years, empathy mutates into vigilance. Love of life becomes defensive instead of creative.

Neuroscience describes this shift as threat generalization. After repeated exposure to distress, the brain’s filtering system broadens its definition of danger until nearly everything feels risky. Under that bias, birth can register not as renewal but as the start of another preventable tragedy. Abstention then appears logical—an act of cognition shielding the heart.

From there, another thought often follows: that there are simply too many people in the world already. For those in the antinatalist mindset, overpopulation isn’t about statistics or environmental math—it’s about psychological crowding. When empathy is hyperactive, every human becomes another potential vector of suffering. Too many people mean too many needs, too many failures, too many witnesses to harm.

The perception isn’t rooted in misanthropy; it’s a defensive reading of reality. The mind sees the global population not as life thriving, but as pain multiplying faster than it can be managed. Each birth feels like another weight added to a scale that has already tipped. From a behavioral standpoint, this isn’t judgment—it’s triage. The nervous system concludes that the planet’s emotional ecosystem is over capacity, and that moral restraint is the only remaining form of stewardship.

To outsiders, the reasoning looks bleak. Inside the trauma-conditioned mind, it sounds merciful: I can’t stop the world’s pain, but I can stop adding to it. For some, this belief settles into permanence; for others, it functions as a warning light that empathy has reached its physiological limit and requires recalibration before it can serve again.

For those who have spent decades absorbing pain that can’t be undone, the question isn’t “Why live?” It’s “Why replicate exposure?” In forensic terms, this isn’t nihilism. It’s moral exhaustion wearing an intellectual disguise. The belief that no one should have to be born into this isn’t despair—it’s the psyche’s last act of ethical control.

What looks like cynicism from the outside often feels like mercy from within. It’s empathy trying to protect itself from another century of heartbreak. When compassion finally reaches its limit, philosophy steps in to guard it.

Forensic psychology sometimes calls this preventive morality—the instinct to halt potential harm before it begins, even if that means halting creation itself. It appears frequently among professionals whose compassion training has taught them to anticipate catastrophe rather than possibility.

Viewed through that lens, antinatalism is not cynicism. It is conscience under pressure. It is empathy wearing armor. When compassion becomes unsustainable, the psyche constructs philosophy to contain it. Recognizing this pattern matters because it reframes exhaustion as a signal, not a defect. The worldview isn’t broken—it’s tired. And tired can heal.

Every crisis-driven profession collects quiet philosophers: the paramedic who stops believing in rescue, the advocate who doubts reform, the therapist who questions whether the world wants to heal. Their logic may sound grim, yet beneath it lies integrity struggling to survive itself.

Antinatalism, understood through trauma science, is not an argument against life. It is an argument for rest. It is the nervous system declaring, Enough harm has been witnessed for now. When that message is acknowledged rather than pathologized, empathy restores itself. And when empathy returns, morality follows.

Sources:

David Benatar — Better Never to Have Been (Oxford University Press, 2006)
American Psychological Association — Moral Injury and Trauma Exposure (2023)
National Center for PTSD — Threat Generalization in Chronic Stress
Journal of Moral Psychology — Preventive Morality in Trauma-Exposed Professionals
Oxford Handbook of Forensic Psychology — Cognitive Containment and Empathy Regulation

Photo by Ephraim Mayrena on Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

Dr. Mozelle Martin

Dr. Mozelle Martin is a retired trauma therapist and former Clinical Director of a trauma center, with extensive experience in forensic psychology, criminology, and applied ethics. A survivor of childhood and young adulthood trauma, Dr. Martin has dedicated decades to understanding the psychological and ethical complexities of trauma, crime, and accountability. Her career began as a volunteer in a women’s domestic violence shelter, then as a SA hospital advocate, later becoming a Crisis Therapist working alongside law enforcement on the streets of Phoenix. She went on to earn an AS in Psychology, a BS in Forensic Psychology, an MA in Criminology, and a PhD in Applied Ethics, ultimately working extensively in forensic mental health—providing psychological assessments, intervention, and rehabilitative support with inmates and in the community. A published author and lifelong student of life, she continues to explore the relationship and crossovers of forensic science, mental health, and ethical accountability in both historical and modern contexts.

www.InkProfiler.com

From a trauma-science standpoint, this phenomenon is neither mystery, nor magic. It’s anticipatory threat detection, a skill the nervous system builds through thousands of exposures to inconsistent environments. When you grow up having to track danger without being told it’s coming, the brain reorganizes itself around micro-cues. This is not a figure of speech. Research on sensory gating in trauma survivors shows that their brains absorb environmental data that most people filter out.

Looking again at our reactions in traffic: hyper-vigilance to micro-movements, speed hesitations, small weight shifts inside another vehicle, changes in spacing between cars, and the early correction of a steering wheel register faster than conscious reasoning can keep up with. The amygdala and basal ganglia are doing the heavy lifting long before the cortex even forms a thought. The result is a split-second detection system that feels immediate, before one can even rationally recognize any change. It is very difficult to explain or describe, because it comes as a kind of hard-earned sixth sense.

Survivors often describe a physical sensation rather than a thought. It comes as a pushback feeling–pressure forward in the torso. He or she might recognize a boundary forming in the space between vehicles. These are people who have learned to perceive beyond what is rational and tidy. Trauma survivors learned through necessity that the body sees what the eyes haven’t labeled yet. Survival depended on catching the tone shift before the argument, the footstep before the outburst, and the breath pattern that meant the mood had changed. These micro-detections become automatic and deeply somatic. Traffic simply activates the same circuitry.

My career in forensic and crisis environments has made this even clearer. Having spent enough time in the field, I understand how the nervous system becomes fluent in early intention. One stops waiting for the obvious. Survival training, law enforcement exposure, and trauma therapy all reinforce this same point: the body keeps track of patterns long after the mind stops wanting to think about them. When you’ve sat with volatile people, ridden in patrol cars, or worked in unpredictable public scenes, the skill sharpens. In those settings, a late reaction can be devastating. The brain learns to read the environment in fractions, not seconds.

It’s important to separate this from paranoia.

• Paranoia distorts reality.
• Trauma-conditioned micro-perception enhances it.

One creates a threat where none exists. The other detects threats in their earliest form. The distinction matters because survivors are often told they are imagining things when, in truth, their nervous systems are picking up information most people miss. Many survivors have witnesses who notice it. Someone in the passenger seat says, you reacted before they even moved. That is not a coincidence. That is implicit memory and somatic precision doing their job.

The challenge is that this skill can be both a safeguard and a drain. It protects, but it also exhausts. Hypervigilance uses enormous energy, and the body cannot stay in rapid-response mode forever without consequences. But the answer isn’t to dismiss the skill. Pushing it away feeds the same self-doubt trauma already creates. The work is to respect the accuracy while learning when it is needed and when it is not. Trauma survivors deserve to understand that the feeling of “I sensed that before it happened” is not a symptom of instability. It’s evidence of a nervous system that learned to survive conditions it never should have had to endure in the first place.

There will always be people who raise an eyebrow when they hear explanations like this. That’s fine. Their disbelief doesn’t make the phenomenon less real.

• They weren’t there for the years when the smallest signal mattered.
• They didn’t have to read danger in the absence of warnings.
• They don’t understand how a lifetime of threat trains the reflexes to operate faster than thought.

Trauma survivors do. Crisis responders do. Anyone who has lived inside volatility does.

The body doesn’t predict the future. It remembers the past with incredible accuracy, and it projects those stored patterns into the present in the name of survival. When someone senses a car drifting before it moves, he or she isn’t psychic. This is physiological. It’s earned. And in the context of complex trauma, it is one of the few adaptations that remains both functional and honest, long after the danger is gone.

Sources:
National Library of Medicine
American Psychological Association
McTeague Laboratory (threat reactivity research)
Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory papers
Cambridge University Press behavioral neuroscience resources
MIT perception and prediction research
Judith Herman trauma work
Sensorimotor psychotherapy literature
Forensic environmental observation training manuals

Photo by Agê Barros on Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

Dr. Mozelle Martin

Dr. Mozelle Martin is a retired trauma therapist and former Clinical Director of a trauma center, with extensive experience in forensic psychology, criminology, and applied ethics. A survivor of childhood and young adulthood trauma, Dr. Martin has dedicated decades to understanding the psychological and ethical complexities of trauma, crime, and accountability. Her career began as a volunteer in a women’s domestic violence shelter, then as a SA hospital advocate, later becoming a Crisis Therapist working alongside law enforcement on the streets of Phoenix. She went on to earn an AS in Psychology, a BS in Forensic Psychology, an MA in Criminology, and a PhD in Applied Ethics, ultimately working extensively in forensic mental health—providing psychological assessments, intervention, and rehabilitative support with inmates and in the community. A published author and lifelong student of life, she continues to explore the relationship and crossovers of forensic science, mental health, and ethical accountability in both historical and modern contexts.

www.InkProfiler.com

As we all know, navigating the professional world with trauma can be incredibly challenging. The constant struggle to maintain focus, manage overwhelming feelings, and remember self-care during the workday is all too real. But guess what? I’ve discovered this amazing method called the Pomodoro Technique, and let me tell you, it’s been a total game-changer in my trauma recovery journey, especially at work.

I’m so thrilled to share how we can adapt this simple yet powerful technique to support our unique needs and create a more balanced, productive work life. Trust me, this could be the breakthrough we’ve been looking for!

Understanding the Pomodoro Technique

The Pomodoro Technique, developed by Francesco Cirillo in the late 1980s, involves working in focused 25-minute intervals (called “Pomodoros”), followed by short 5-minute breaks. After completing four Pomodoros, you take a longer 15–30 minute break. This cycle repeats throughout your workday.

The name “Pomodoro” comes from the tomato-shaped kitchen timer Cirillo used when developing this method. While you don’t need a tomato timer to practice this technique, having a dedicated timer can be helpful.

Why It Works for Trauma Survivors

The Pomodoro Technique isn’t just a productivity hack; it’s a powerful tool for managing our mental health and supporting our recovery:

• Manageable Chunks: Breaking our work into 25-minute segments can make tasks feel less overwhelming, reducing anxiety and the likelihood of becoming triggered.
• Built-in Breaks: Regular breaks give us opportunities to check in with ourselves, practice grounding techniques, and reset if we’re feeling overwhelmed.
• Increased Focus: Knowing we have a break coming up can help us stay present and focused during work intervals, potentially reducing dissociation or racing thoughts.
• Sense of Accomplishment: Completing each Pomodoro can provide a sense of achievement, boosting our confidence and reinforcing our capability to handle work tasks.
• Improved Time Perception: Trauma can sometimes distort our sense of time. The structured intervals of the Pomodoro Technique can help us regain a more balanced perception of time passing.
• Boundary Setting: The technique encourages us to set clear boundaries between work and rest, which can be particularly challenging for trauma survivors.

Adapting the Pomodoro Technique for Trauma Recovery

While the standard Pomodoro Technique is effective, we can tailor it to better support our unique needs as trauma survivors:

• Adjust the Timing: If 25 minutes feels too long, start with shorter intervals. Even 10-minute focused sessions can be beneficial. Gradually increase the duration as you feel comfortable.
• Mindful Breaks: Use break times for grounding exercises, deep breathing, or brief meditations. This can help prevent work stress from accumulating throughout the day.
• Body Scans: During breaks, do a quick body scan to check for tension or stress responses. This practice increases body awareness and can help you address physical manifestations of stress before they escalate.
• Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge the completion of each Pomodoro as a victory in your recovery journey. This positive reinforcement can help rebuild self-esteem and confidence.
• Be Flexible: On harder days, it’s okay to take longer or more frequent breaks. Listen to your body and mind. The goal is progress, not perfection.
• Use Technology: Try Pomodoro apps that include calming sounds or visual cues to signal transitions. Some apps even incorporate mindfulness prompts or gentle reminders to check in with yourself.
• Combine with Grounding Techniques: Use specific grounding objects or practices during your work intervals to stay present. This could be a textured stress ball, a grounding stone, or even a specific scent that helps you feel calm and focused.
• Incorporate Movement: Use some of your short breaks for gentle stretching or movement. This can help release tension and prevent the physical discomfort that can sometimes trigger emotional distress.

Implementing the Technique

Starting a new routine can be challenging, especially when dealing with trauma. Here’s a gentle approach to implementing the Pomodoro Technique:

1. Start Small: Begin with just one or two Pomodoros a day and gradually increase. There’s no need to restructure your entire workday at once.
2. Communicate: If possible, let colleagues know you’re trying this technique to minimize interruptions. You don’t need to disclose your trauma, but you can explain that you’re working on improving your focus and productivity.
3. Prepare Your Space: Set up your workspace to support this method, with grounding objects easily accessible. Consider using visual cues like a small plant or a calming image to signal “work time” and “break time.”
4. Track Your Progress: Keep a simple log of completed Pomodoros to visualize your accomplishments. This can be incredibly motivating and provide concrete evidence of your resilience and growth.
5. Reflect and Adjust: Regularly review how the technique is working for you and make adjustments as needed. What works this week might need tweaking next month, and that’s okay.
6. Be Compassionate: On days when following the technique feels impossible, be kind to yourself. No matter how small, every effort is a step forward in your healing journey.
7. Combine with Other Strategies: Consider how the Pomodoro Technique can complement other coping strategies or therapeutic techniques you’re using. For example, you might use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques during your breaks to challenge negative thoughts that arise during work.

The Bigger Picture: Pomodoro as Part of Your Healing Journey

The goal isn’t perfect adherence to the technique but finding a rhythm supporting our well-being and productivity. Some days, we might complete several Pomodoros; other days, even one is a triumph.

By implementing the Pomodoro Technique, we’re not just improving our work performance — we’re actively engaging in our recovery process. Each Pomodoro becomes an opportunity to practice presence, self-care, and resilience.

As we continue to use this technique, we may find that it helps us:

• Rebuild our confidence in our professional abilities
• Manage our energy levels more effectively
• Create a sense of safety and control in our work environment
• Improve our ability to focus and complete tasks
• Develop a more balanced relationship with work

These skills can extend beyond our professional lives, supporting our healing journey. The Pomodoro Technique becomes a work strategy and a tool for reclaiming our sense of agency and building a life that honors our needs and boundaries.

Conclusion

Integrating the Pomodoro Technique into our work lives as trauma survivors is more than a productivity hack — it’s an act of self-care and an investment in our ongoing recovery. By breaking our day into manageable chunks, honoring our need for regular breaks, and celebrating our progress, we create a work environment that supports rather than hinders our healing.

Remember, healing isn’t linear, and neither is our productivity. Some days will be easier than others, and that’s perfectly okay. What matters is that we’re taking proactive steps to support ourselves in the workplace and beyond.

I encourage you to give the adapted Pomodoro Technique a try. Start small, be patient with yourself, and see how this method might support your unique journey of healing and professional growth. You’ve already shown incredible strength by surviving; now it’s time to thrive, one Pomodoro at a time.

Questions for Self-Reflection and Journaling:

1. Reflect on a time when you successfully completed a task in manageable chunks. How did this approach make you feel, and what strengths did you draw upon?
2. Consider how regular, mindful breaks have positively impacted your well-being in the past. How could you incorporate more of these moments into your workday?
3. Imagine a workweek where you’ve successfully implemented the Pomodoro Technique in a way that supports your recovery. What does this look like, and what small step could you take tomorrow to move towards this vision?

An Invitation

If you’d like to join an online community of other resilient overcomers focusing on their careers, I invite you to join The Resilient Career Academy™ Community. (RCA Community)

The RCA Community is a group dedicated to helping/supporting those working to overcome adversity and achieve their full potential in their careers.

The benefits to you are:

• Community. The community provides support, encouragement, the ability to share frustrations and get feedback from people who understand the struggle.
• Workplace/Career Resources. The group provides tools, resources, and templates to help you with your career journey.
• Available Coaching Support. The community is supported by trained and certified coaches who are available for individual sessions.
• Learning. You will have access to various trauma/workplace-related online courses developed by our coaches to help you in your journey.
• Workshops/Webinars . You will have access to practical workshops/webinars targeted to help you in the workplace grow your career.

If you are interested in joining us, click here: https://resilientcareeracademy.myflodesk.com/community

As always, you do not have to walk this journey alone. Contact me to schedule your free discovery call.

Trigger Tracker Template — This is a FREE resource to help you become aware of your triggers in the workplace and plan the coping strategies you will use to get through the experience.

If you want to stay informed on the programs, tools, and training I offer, sign up for my mailing list.

You can also visit my website for more information on courses and other freebies I offer at: https://www.cyndibennettconsulting.com.

Photo by Tristan Gassert on Unsplash

Cyndi Bennett

Believer. Leader. Learner. Advocate. Writer. Speaker. Coach. Mentor. Triathlete. Encourager. Survivor.
 
Most of all, I am a fellow traveler on the rocky road called, Trauma Recovery. My mission is to minimize the effects of trauma for survivors in the workplace.

Why the edge can feel unsafe

Humans did not evolve on memory foam in locked bedrooms. For most of our history, we slept on the ground, in caves, in huts with thin doors. Exposed limbs meant exposed entry points. Predators target extremities and the neck because access is easier. The nervous system solved that problem by favoring positions that protect the core: curl, cover, and tuck. That is not fear. It is pattern recognition preserved across generations. The amygdala still scans in the background during sleep, and it does not retire just because you purchased a better mattress.

Evolutionary memory that is still on duty

Even today, the brain runs a quiet night watch. On the first night in an unfamiliar place, sleep becomes asymmetric; one hemisphere remains more alert while the other rests. Laboratory work has demonstrated this first-night effect with imaging that shows a built-in vigilance system holding partial guard. That is biology, not superstition, and it helps explain why the edge of a bed in a new setting can feel like a cliff rather than a cushion.

Trauma history changes the map

Trauma shifts sleep from rest to strategy. People with childhood abuse, severe neglect, or control-based punishment often adopt positions that prioritize mobility, concealment, or both. Some sleep near the edge with one leg ready to move because escape has been coded as necessary. Others cannot tolerate uncovered limbs at all and cocoon under blankets even in warm rooms, not for comfort but for defense of the areas perpetrators once accessed. These choices are rarely conscious. They are solutions installed by experience and maintained by a threat-biased nervous system.

Posture, perception, and what the research suggests

Sleep posture correlates with emotional states in population studies and clinical reviews. Fetal-style sleepers more often report higher stress and adverse life events. Supine sleepers show a higher association with sleep paralysis in several samples. Side and edge positions vary; for some, the choice is airflow and spinal ease, for others, it is a safety cue learned a long time ago. None of this proves a single rule. It does support what clinicians observe: position is not random for many survivors.

Temperature, physiology, and learned associations

Feet are fast radiators. Specialized vessels in the hands and feet move heat quickly, so a foot outside the covers can lower body temperature and help with sleep onset. Biology does not operate in a vacuum, though. If cold feet were paired with fear, isolation, or punishment, the same sensation can function as a warning rather than a comfort. The body votes based on memory more than on textbook physiology.

Practical steps that respect biology

Start with observation rather than force. Notice how your body positions itself in the first moments of waking and the last moments before sleep. Those are honest windows. Make small experiments without pressure. If you want to test more exposure, begin with a toe or ankle rather than a full limb and see what the body permits. Do not copy someone else’s version of calm. One person sprawls because their system is quiet; another curls because their system is careful. Adjust the room before you try to adjust your biology. Lower the bed, soften the lighting, and set a temperature that signals safety. Some people settle with breathable sheets and a light-weight throw; others require no weight at all. There is no universal fix. The point is to give the nervous system current evidence that the environment is safe in the present day.

Final thoughts

Edge anxiety is not drama, and it is not immaturity. It is a living record of what kept people safe. If your legs lock tight or you pull the blanket over your head every night, that is not a flaw. It is survival programming that has not yet been given a stable reason to retire. Whether you sleep centered like a sandbag or hold the perimeter like a lookout, the pattern makes sense once the history is named. Your brain did not forget what life taught it, especially at night.

References

Tamaki M, Bang JW, Watanabe T, Sasaki Y. Night watch in one brain hemisphere during sleep associated with the first-night effect in humans. Current Biology. 2016;26(9):1190-1194.
Jalal B, Romanelli A, Hinton DE. Sleep paralysis in Italy: frequency, symptoms, and the role of cultural interpretation. Consciousness and Cognition. 2017;51:298-305.
Suni E, Chen W, Jungquist C, et al. Sleep position and mental health: a scoping review. Sleep Health. 2017;3(6):460-467.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

Dr. Mozelle Martin

Dr. Mozelle Martin is a retired trauma therapist and former Clinical Director of a trauma center, with extensive experience in forensic psychology, criminology, and applied ethics. A survivor of childhood and young adulthood trauma, Dr. Martin has dedicated decades to understanding the psychological and ethical complexities of trauma, crime, and accountability. Her career began as a volunteer in a women’s domestic violence shelter, then as a SA hospital advocate, later becoming a Crisis Therapist working alongside law enforcement on the streets of Phoenix. She went on to earn an AS in Psychology, a BS in Forensic Psychology, an MA in Criminology, and a PhD in Applied Ethics, ultimately working extensively in forensic mental health—providing psychological assessments, intervention, and rehabilitative support with inmates and in the community. A published author and lifelong student of life, she continues to explore the relationship and crossovers of forensic science, mental health, and ethical accountability in both historical and modern contexts.

www.InkProfiler.com

We live in a fast-paced world, where results appear more important than the people working on achieving them. The internet is online 24/7, and some people struggle to get enough sleep in between their meetings across the globe.

I’m sure we have all heard somewhere that “we are replaceable.” If we don’t achieve, someone else can fill the job.

So we carry on.

We survive by shutting down; we go on autopilot to work, and slowly forget who we are.

We work long hours from home or at the office. We become drones, like worker bees who are only put on this earth to complete tasks.

It’s very easy to be swept away by the flow of work, with the goal of achieving big results from projects that take us away from ourselves, little by little.

Have you ever thought about the true consequences of ignoring the work / life balance?

I do. And those consequences are overwhelming.

I have seen colleagues work themselves into a state of illness. I am familiar with the way stress can erode both the body and the mind. Bad things happen to good-meaning people all the time, and it’s heartbreaking. For those of us who are working through any kind of trauma, it can be very hard to set and respect boundaries. We often leave self-care at the office door and repeat behaviors that do not serve us. And since we want to be industrious and helpful, we can easily get lost.

As much as I love my work, it doesn’t define me. I am so much more than my job title.

Here are five proven ways that I have used to break away from the worker bee mindset. They have helped me “return to myself.”

1. Have a comfort break. Go get a cup of coffee, and take an extra minute to gather your thoughts. This gives us a pause to check in with ourselves and find clarity.
2.  Block out short breaks in your calendar and mark them as Do Not Disturb. This will ensure that you can de-stress in between phone calls and client meetings.
3. Organize tasks and meetings in blocks, if you can, to manage your work day. This can also help prioritize.
4. Try get some fresh air during your work day. Go grab your lunch from a deli that is located a little further away from the office. That extra five-minute walk will invigorate you, and sometimes it is important to get some space from whatever you are working on.
5. Spend some quality time with your family (or close friends, supportive contacts) at the end of each day. They are your center, where you can be yourself and relax. If you can’t be in the same room, pick up the phone and connect.

Life is busy, and we get bombarded by stressors all around us. It’s easy to lose track of who we are when work heats up with project deadlines and results demands. If your job is eating up more of your life than you are willing to give, then take a look in the mirror.

Do you want to spend the rest of your life in the fast lane, pushing to always achieve, while your personal life is non-existent? What goals are you seeking, and who set them? Is all of your productivity actually pulling you backwards?

Only you can answer those questions.

As a trauma survivor, I believe that life is a gift to be lived fully–not just exist to work at someone else’s drum beat. Money is not everything. Life can be beautiful when we stop long enough to see it.

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Support your fellow writer:

https://ko-fi.com/elizabe69245484

Photo by Andrés Dallimonti on Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

Elizabeth Woods

For more about me: https://www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Elizabeth Woods grew up in a world of brutal sex offenders, murderers, and inconceivably neglectful adults. Elizabeth is passionate about spreading awareness of what it is like to survive after trauma. She is the author of several books and has written her memoir, telling her childhood story: The Sex-Offender’s Daughter: A True Story of Survival Against All Odds, available on Amazon Kindle and paperback.

Elizabeth is also the author of “Living with Complex PTSD” and the Cedar’s Port Fiction series: “Saving Joshua”, “Protecting Sarah”, “Guarding Noah” and “Bringing Back Faith,” and “Restoring Hope,” available here: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0BCBZQN7L/allbooks?ingress=0&visitId=7e223b5b-1a29-45f0-ad9d-e9c8fdb59e9c&ref_=ap_rdr&ccs_id=931f96e2-c220-4765-acc8-cc99bb95e8bd

www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com/

The Weight of Tension: bare with, this is quiet an extensive blog written to answer a couple of questions by some of my readers I have also added a video link to help you get a feel for this Nervous System Informed Approach to healing.

Roseanne Reilly

Roseanne Reilly DipNUR, APCST, ERYT500hr CEP specializing in Restoring Safety to the Nervous System

Roseanne comes from a Background of Nursing, She is an Advanced CranioSacral Therapist, Experienced Yoga Teacher and Health Educator and contributor to the Nervous System Economy

Roseanne provides research based tools and resources for nervous systems restoration following chronic and trauma stress

She provides insights from her own healing journey towards recovery, through blogs, weekly resources, work shops, courses, 1 to 1 mentoring and small group sessions

Linkedin:https://www.linkedin.com/in/roseanne-reilly-3014a0200/

website address: https://handsoftimehealing.com/

www.handsoftimehealing.com

The awakened possibility of feeding this long-denied hunger is both overwhelming and intensely satisfying.

I am writing this a few weeks after learning I randomly lost ten pounds in a month…without diet, exercise, or effort. I don’t own a scale because I don’t want to be ruled by one. The only time I see a scale is when I visit the doctor, because I don’t care what number it generates. I haven’t always been so cavalier about my weight. Like so many others, I long struggled with insecurities about my body. Ironically, as I’ve aged and my body has taken on a mind of its own, I’ve finally found self-acceptance. 

These days, I don’t get worked up about the number on the scale…until recently. Last month, I had two doctor appointments, scheduled just over a month apart, including the typical pre-appointment weigh-in. I was alarmed by a sudden dive in my weight. Although I’m still 20 pounds north of having a body mass index (BMI) that is considered “normal,” I feel healthy, and that’s good enough for me. So what if I’m “overweight.” Not particularly attached to labels or popular culture definitions of beauty at this stage in my life, I had no strong feelings around that transition other than concern. As I’m creeping into the early days of middle age, I am becoming more concerned about my health. I derailed the scheduled appointment to review my health history with my doctor. I wanted to identify the “culprit” behind my random, unplanned weight loss. Six blood tests and a CT scan later, I learned that I was mostly healthy. With a loaded Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) score, I’m not particularly surprised that my blood pressure and cholesterol are a bit high in my early 40s. A sudden drop in weight, however, generated genuine surprise. That said, as of right now, there is no medically “provable” explanation for randomly accomplishing what I never could with diets and exercise regimens.

So what else could it be? A few things, I think. For one, I am finally living more fully in the present. I don’t feel locked in a constant state of flight or freeze, which are my go-to fear responses, though I’ve also been known to fight and fawn. Waves of the stress hormone, cortisol, less often flood me. I have long heard that elevated levels of cortisol can contribute to increased abdominal fat and impact the body’s ability to use insulin effectively, but I never really believed it. Not so long ago, I didn’t realize I could turn down the stress valve in my life, so I can understand why I would not have wanted to see the connection between a constant flood of cortisol and retention of fat. I can’t really prove a connection between spending less time locked in fear responses and my weight loss, but I have to imagine that not being inundated with a stress hormone around the clock has to be a good thing, right?

Although I’m not counting calories or hitting the gym, I am taking care of myself in other small ways. I’ve slowed down and I am committed to spending more time engaged in activities that support my mental health. As I examine the traumas I’ve experienced head-on, I am less prone to relying on some of the coping mechanisms I long used to submerge them. Ironically, a year ago, when I was still locked in my longtime favorite defense mechanism (workaholism), it was common to physically exert myself for 12 hours at a time on laborious weekend yard projects. Although considerably more physically active, I was emotionally drained. All. The. Time. I’ve actually cut back on physical exertion while increasing time spent relaxing, and it seems to be paying off.

Additionally, although I didn’t recognize it without the guesswork of my always astute therapist, I may have inadvertently cut back on emotional eating over the last couple of months. I had never really had a conversation about my stress eating with my therapist, but she’s a great listener. She probably recalled the multiple times I talked about the joys of all-you-can-eat sushi; in fairness, I didn’t discover I liked sushi until two years ago, so I’m catching up on lost time. (The only thing that stops me from eating it daily is the price tag.) My therapist probably also mentally noted my casual mention of stocking up on chocolate chips, chocolate syrup, and cocoa powder in fear of increased prices. I never told her about my “stress stash,” but my thinly veiled obsession with food probably gave me away. She was right, though. I have long fluctuated between mindless eating and conscious “stress eating” to try to lift myself out of the fog or pain. If you’ve ever found yourself hiding in the pantry, rabidly devouring a hidden candy bar like a raccoon raiding a dumpster because you’ve “had enough,” you know what I mean. In the past few months, though I continue to be a “foodie” (that’s never changing), I haven’t felt compelled to keep my “stress stash” stocked to the hilt. I call on food less often to “save me” the way I once did…not that long ago. Similar to the way my approach to life in general is changing, I have taken a more “moderate” approach to eating than my previous all-or-nothing ways. I’m finding balance.

The pain doesn’t have to devour us, and it’s OK to sink our teeth into the sweet flesh of life. Healing is the ultimate act of nourishment. Bon appétit!

I suppose that collectively, all of these things add up to weight reduction. These things also all circle back to healing. Healing is hard work, but I’m coming to believe that living in survival mode around the clock is actually much more taxing on our bodies and minds. Because I’m not a natural optimist and because I don’t really care what I weigh as long as I don’t have to buy new clothes, I’ll probably regain the ten pounds I so mindlessly shed. In this experience, however, I think I also gained insight into the things I really need to nourish my soul. I’m not going to lie; sometimes I do need to gorge myself on all-you-can-eat sushi and dip into my chocolate stash. But, I also need rest, self-compassion, and connection. We all do. It’s okay to savor the ordinary and to live in the moment. The pain doesn’t have to devour us, and it’s OK to sink our teeth into the sweet flesh of life. Healing is the ultimate act of nourishment. Bon appétit!

Photo by Mick Haupt on Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

Heather Jurvelin

Finally feeling truly alive for the first time in my life, I am writing from a place of gradual healing with an eye to the future and a hope of connecting with others on similar paths. Forced to withhold a tsunami of emotions deemed irrelevant under the roof of my childhood “home,” the blank white pages of my notebooks invited my raw reflections without judgment. Writing allowed me to free the burdens of my soul, but at some point, I muzzled myself. My pen lay dormant for years until, at 41 years old, I experienced a traumatic flashback during an everyday activity that shook me to the core. Five days later, I started writing about the things I had long withheld. I couldn’t stop. Written words have once again become my refuge. I now recognize that these words, resurrected from the ashes of my pain, may have the power to help others. Above all, I want to magnify and share the messages that I have most treasured on my journey: we are not alone and we don’t ever have to go back. This is where we live now and the future is ours.

I am perpetually vulnerable to a debilitating state of mind that has eluded my understanding, perplexed me, and tortured me for most of my life

Putting the descriptive metaphor aside, I am perpetually vulnerable to a debilitating state of mind that has eluded my understanding, perplexed me, and tortured me for most of my life. Along with it, for me, comes severe depression, free-floating anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive efforts to find ways of calming the anxiety that threatens to devour me. Panic attacks, phobias, deluded-magical thinking, and addictive indulgences in sedating ingestions, including “obsessive” activities, are distracting, and/or dissociative experiences. Distraction is found in overeating, smoking, reckless over-indulgence of alcohol and drugs, and seeking the titillating pinnacle experiences of orgasm. Behavioral “rituals” can serve the purpose of distracting one’s focus from the pain caused by burning embers. The flames of pain are ever present, just waiting to burst into a secret fire. The “Secret” is our inner pain, which we attempt to hide from the outside world.

I carry a personal demon. This Demon leaves me feeling lonely, alienated, jealous, and distortedly different from all others. There is a constant subconscious threat of annihilation anxiety internally present – a state of impending doom. Extreme hypervigilance and arousal are the ongoing experiences of life. My emotions are dysregulated. What are others really thinking about me? Do they see how unlovable I am because of my being so different (toxic shame), as I feel?

What is the problem with allowing one more diagnosis to give clarity to a clinician’s diagnostic endeavors?

The American Psychological Association (APA) decided not to acknowledge C-PTSD in the current DSM manual (DSM-5) of recognized psychological disorders. That means the myriad of recognizable diagnoses satisfactorily covers the experiences of one who suffers from C-PTSD. Most modern theoreticians also recognize C-PTSD as (Developmental Trauma Disorder), yet it is not an official “diagnosis” either. (I think I prefer Developmental Trauma Disorder better than C-PTSD). As a student of psychology, it strikes me that my symptoms fit within the diagnosable categories of so many known disorders. Having a multitude of symptoms is typical of C-PTSD. For the sake of argument, I pick C-PTSD as a diagnosis. This diagnosis houses virtually all the symptoms with which I must contend. As we are all unique, there are some comorbid diagnoses I have as well. What is the problem with allowing one more diagnosis to give clarity to a clinician’s diagnostic endeavors? As a layperson, I don’t understand, and perhaps many therapists would agree with me. Is there a political consideration lurking somewhere in the denial of C-PTSD as an approved diagnosis? After all, the World Health Organization (WHO) recognizes C-PTSD as a diagnosable condition.

When I write, my thoughts take on the direction of my subconscious. It is also clear to me that writing is a distraction. I can focus my attention, similar to a ritual, on my inner thoughts, lay them out on the written page, and at the same time use them as a distraction from the threatening fire. If I am wholly engulfed in the distraction of the working ritual, the beast is often held at bay. The corollary is that when flames have begun to take over my moment, the interest and inspiration to sit down and write is blocked by the overwhelming inner trauma dramatically consuming me. I cannot focus or find my reasoning. My inspiration is crushed. When the psychic trauma is reexperienced in a C-PTSD flashback episode, I lose who I am and become a person psycho-emotionally enflamed in the moment, desperately trying to find escape.

C-PTSD is not listed as a diagnosis in the DSM-5, as I mentioned. If it is going to be accepted as an official diagnosis, it will have to wait for the DSM-6. I have read that it cannot be included in an update of the DSM-5. Therefore, those of us with the condition of C-PTSD can only wait with hope. It would be nice to be officially listed, thus legitimizing our experiences. C-PTSD is an interpersonal Trauma disorder that is created and established by long-term exposure to traumatic experiences, both physical and emotional. Its range of possible symptoms is considerable. There is a significant number of diagnoses that research psychologists think may have their basis in trauma. Perhaps this developing understanding of trauma may be one of the reasons for the delay in the authoring of the DSM-6. I envision the possibility of “Trauma” as a basis of psychological disorders in general. New understanding with “Trauma” as a diagnostic basis, incorporating specific features associated with structuring a more definitive diagnosis. Time will tell.

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

Jesse Donahue

*Copyright notice. All writings copyrighted and registered with the Library of Congress.

Therapy has helped improve my self-understanding as well as writing skills through journaling and essays. Although this writing journey began in later years, it has led to 70+ essays oriented around issues with CPTSD – a trauma disorder.

My writings, which include therapy notes, poems, novels (unpublished), and essays, are all a part of my ongoing personal therapy. Initially, the essays, intended for my therapist’s eyes only, began with exposing my thoughts, fears, and feelings, or the lack of, onto paper, a journal of therapy notes. Then, with fear overcome and via a personal decision, I shared them with the readers. *My thanks to Paul Michael Marinello, the editor of the CPTSD Foundation. My intent is to encourage readers to recognize traits in themselves and find (if desired) a therapist when they are willing and ready for that step. For some of us, it can be a long and challenging process, over extensive periods, to awaken to the unconscious issues that cause us to act out in life. Our behavior may seem like dancing to a buried, invisible cause we cannot directly see or confront. It is my sincere hope that my insights will assist the reader in the process toward reaching a deeper self-understanding.

Bringing the unconscious out into the light of self-awareness, understanding, and acceptance fosters self-love and the process of change.

 Jesse B. Donahue

*Type a keyword into the foundations search engine. (Jesse, Heart, Personal, Twelve, Bugaboo, etc.) Or, Type Jesse Donahue at The CPTSD Foundation on a Google search.

Published with the CPTSD foundation. Top 10 essays in order of number of views:

1.  ** Personal Honor, Integrity, Dignity, Honesty
2.  ** The Heart of the Matter
3.  * The Smoldering Embers of C-PTSD
4.  * The Hidden Bugaboo (Parts 1-4 of 4)
5.  Twelve Days Without Coffee
6.  Learned Helplessness
7.  Cast Out of Eden by Toxic Shame
8.  *Codependency – Overriding the Monster of Self-Hate
9.  The Emptiness of Yesterday
10.  Surfing the Light Through the Darkness