Building Resilience in Healing | CPTSDfoundation.org https://cptsdfoundation.org The Foundation for Post-Traumatic Healing and Complex Trauma Research Thu, 28 May 2026 11:42:30 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=7.0 https://cptsdfoundation.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/cropped-Daily-Recovery-Support-Globe-iPad-Fav-32x32.png Building Resilience in Healing | CPTSDfoundation.org https://cptsdfoundation.org 32 32 Freedom To Feel https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/05/28/freedom-to-feel/ https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/05/28/freedom-to-feel/#respond Thu, 28 May 2026 10:00:00 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=987503447 There is a quiet longing many recovering from CPTSD carry: the desire to feel free again. Not to be overwhelmed by emotion, not to shut it down, but to feel without fear of what might happen inside. And yet, for so many, this feels just out of reach.

It is not because you are incapable.
It is not because you are hypersensitive or hypo sensitive.

More often than not, the greatest obstacle to feeling freely is this: a nervous system that has been living in prolonged stress, and a brain that has adapted to conserve energy in response to that stress.

When the body perceives an ongoing threat—whether from life events, emotional pain, or chronic pressure—it shifts into survival mode. The nervous system prioritizes protection over connection, and the brain begins to operate from an energy-conservation model. This means it becomes less interested in exploration, openness, and emotional processing, and more focused on efficiency, prediction, and staying safe.

Brain scientist Delia McCabe speaks to this beautifully: when we understand how the brain functions, we can begin to create the internal conditions that allow us to feel safe enough to feel. Without that sense of safety, the brain will always default to protection.

And protection, while essential in moments of real danger, can become limiting when it turns into a long-term state.

In trauma-related stress, the body produces elevated levels of stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. These are powerful chemicals designed to help us respond quickly to a threat. But over time, they come at a cost. The production and recycling of these stress hormones require significant nutritional resources—vitamins, minerals, and amino acids that the body also needs for other essential functions.

One of those functions is the production of serotonin, a neurotransmitter deeply involved in mood regulation, emotional stability, and a general sense of well-being. Another is acetylcholine, which plays a key role in learning, memory, focus, and the processing and integration of new information.

When the body is under prolonged stress, resources are diverted toward survival. This can gradually lead to nutrient depletion, leaving fewer building blocks to support balanced mood, clear thinking, and emotional regulation. The result is not just psychological—it is physiological.

You may feel more reactive, more anxious, more depleted.
You may find it harder to focus, remember, and process.
You may feel emotionally flooded one moment and numb the next.

This is not a personal failure.
It is a system under strain.

At the center of this system is the limbic system—the emotional brain. This includes structures such as the amygdala, which scans for threats, and the hippocampus, which helps process memory and context. When stress is chronic, the amygdala becomes more sensitive, more reactive, more likely to interpret neutral situations as threatening. At the same time, the systems that help regulate and contextualize emotion can become less effective.

This is why emotions can feel so intense, so sudden, and sometimes so disorganizing.

They are not just emotions.
They are survival signals amplified by a system that has been on high alert for too long.

And yet, within this understanding lies something deeply hopeful.

Because when we begin to support the nervous system and the brain in the ways they actually need, the experience of emotion begins to change.

We can start by creating conditions of safety.

Not by forcing ourselves to feel everything at once, but by gently teaching the system that feeling does not equal danger.

This can be as simple—and as profound—as:

  • Slowing the breath to signal calm to the nervous system
  • Grounding through the body by feeling the feet or the support beneath you
  • Softening the muscles, especially around the face, jaw, and chest
  • Orienting to your environment to remind the brain you are here, now, and safe

These small acts, that can be so quickly overlooked, can and do begin to regulate the limbic system when practiced with nervous system awareness in mind. They reduce the body based intensity of the stress response and allow the brain to shift out of pure survival mode.

As this happens, something begins to open.

Emotions, which once felt overwhelming or fragmenting, start to feel more fluid.

There is a beautiful truth about emotions that many people never get to experience fully:

When emotions are felt fully, without judgment, the often-frozen, stored stress associated with them begins to mobilize. Knowing how to orient this release of energy is equally important.

With the practice of titration and pendulation, we learn to fear emotions less and less. They arrive, their expression is felt, and they pass—like birds free to fly and land again.

It is when they are resisted, suppressed, or feared that they tend to linger, intensify, or fragment our inner world, often times causing inflammation due to the stress of storing them.

Feeling safe enough to witness your own emotional landscape—without immediately trying to fix, judge, or escape it—is one of the most precious and empowering skills you can develop.

When we can create and share that space, something shifts. You are no longer at the mercy of your emotions.
You are in a relationship with them. And from that relationship, regulation, integration, and healing become possible.

Over time, as the nervous system learns that it can feel without being overwhelmed, and the brain receives signals of safety while it approaches what is stressful to feel, the entire system begins to reorganize and create new predictions.

Energy becomes more available.
Mood stabilizes.
Clarity returns.
The body feels less like a battleground and more like a place you can inhabit.

And perhaps most importantly, you begin to rediscover something that may have felt lost for a long time:

The freedom to feel.

Photo Credit: Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: This guest post is for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing shared here, across CPTSDfoundation.org, any CPTSD Foundation website, our associated communities, or our Social Media accounts, is intended to substitute for or supersede the professional advice and direction of your medical or mental health providers. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the guest author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CPTSD Foundation. For further details, please review the following: Terms of Service, Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer

]]> https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/05/28/freedom-to-feel/feed/ 0 Who Do You Look Up To? The Importance of Role Models for Survivors of Child Abuse https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/05/25/who-do-you-look-up-to-the-importance-of-role-models-for-survivors-of-child-abuse/ https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/05/25/who-do-you-look-up-to-the-importance-of-role-models-for-survivors-of-child-abuse/#respond Mon, 25 May 2026 10:00:00 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=987503124 My name is Elizabeth, and I am a survivor of sexual abuse and trauma. I endured things, terrible things when I was growing up. I was just a young sprout, but my lack of years and stature failed to tell everyone what I had already lived through and seen with my young eyes.

Who listens to children? Who hears them and acts on the truth in a helpful way? Who chooses to walk away?

The truth is, not many adults act when they should, and the cost to abused children is too much. They are ignored by those who have the power to help, and they carry on being abused.

I was the child who was ignored despite my pleas for help. I wasn’t just ignored by my bio-family, but teachers and doctors too.

All child abuse survivors have felt this betrayal by those who hurt them and failed to take care of their basic needs. They don’t need further betrayal from those who could help — yet, they are.

That deep betrayal lives in me and in all other child abuse survivors.

Survivors’ experiences are different, but there is one thing that we all feel, and that is loneliness.

Abuse and trauma within a family almost always comes with deep-seated betrayal of trust, neglect, abandonment, and lies.

Survivors feel alone in the world, and that burden is like a choking desolation.

Nobody wants us, and no one around us knows or wants to know what is happening, even if we tell or act it out. ( I tried) That truth is crushing for a young child.

Imagine never having a loving parent tucking you in at night when you might be scared of the dark.

An abused child is deeply traumatized by the dark and agonizes about it every day because when that darkness arrives, so does the pain.

The Importance of Role-Models

Children growing up need role models to help them make sense of the world. Role models give children an idol, someone to count on and guide them through life’s ups and downs.

A child growing up in a loving family will learn to love and treat others.

If a child has never had a positive role model, they will grow up to be at a disadvantage in many developmental milestones, especially social skills.

If your parents never hugged you, how can you know what a hug feels like?

If your parents never talked to you, how can you develop speech patterns and convey meaning in language?

An abused child misses out on so much.

Teachers are great role models and open up a world of education and experiences that these children cannot get from home. School trips are fun, and classrooms come alive in color and models during those early Pre-K to elementary years.

Where else can you be better submerged in a community aside from an elementary school?

Kids are great role models and can show their peers what to do. We learn a lot from one another.

I realized that I could have more freedom when I disappeared.

The media and TV have an abundance of role models as well. We are immersed in the internet and social media culture, and everything trickles down to our kids.

Not all children are lucky to have access to the internet and media at home, but they will get exposure in school.

Music and videos are playing in malls, on billboards, and in advertisements all around us. We cannot help knowing what is happening because information is everywhere in the suburban world.

I realized that I could have more freedom when I disappeared from my bio-family.

As soon as I could get away, I would be out on the streets looking for role models who might want me. At that time, I was completely vulnerable. I met a lot of different people on the streets, but I was smart too and learned to watch my six and not trust adults.

I never found a magic family that wanted to adopt me. Instead, I got taken back to my house every single time I stayed out too long.

As an adolescent from an abusive home, I was the perfect target for drug dealers. I had already seen what drugs and alcohol did to people and wanted no part of that life.

Many adolescent abuse survivors turn to drugs and alcohol to fit in and get an escape from reality.

I preferred to stay hungry rather than break the law. I needed to get away permanently from my bio-family, not be thrown into jail.

Seeking comfort in strangers

I chose my role models based on the person I saw myself becoming one day.

I saw how the young lady always smiled at her customers at the food market, and how it affected her sales.

Grumpy Gus selling potatoes in monosyllabic grunts never attracted customers to linger and talk.

These people helped me decide who I wanted to be. I took notice of people and picked the attributes that I liked.

Those role models helped me put together my identity because I refused to be like the people who hurt me.

The need for role models doesn’t stop in childhood. It follows you throughout life.

You want to be around family during the holidays. I spent them alone.

You want your family at your wedding and college graduation. (I had none, and I felt it)

When you find out you are expecting a baby, it’s scary and brings up tons of stuff. You want to ask your parents about it. (I couldn’t)

There are many moments in life when you want your family to stand behind you. A survivor simply doesn’t have that bond with family, and it hurts. 

This article has given you an insight into what it is like to grow up as an abused child. The importance of role models follows survivors into adulthood and beyond.

Most of the time, survivors need hope and love. Hope that not everyone in this world is a monster, and that we are worthy of being loved.

This is the world we need to show kids. A world that is wonderful and exciting. A world where everyone matters because we do. We matter, and we all have a voice.

Nobody should be ignored and alone. 

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Support your fellow writer:

https://ko-fi.com/elizabe69245484

Photo Credit: Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: This guest post is for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing shared here, across CPTSDfoundation.org, any CPTSD Foundation website, our associated communities, or our Social Media accounts, is intended to substitute for or supersede the professional advice and direction of your medical or mental health providers. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the guest author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CPTSD Foundation. For further details, please review the following: Terms of Service, Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer

]]> https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/05/25/who-do-you-look-up-to-the-importance-of-role-models-for-survivors-of-child-abuse/feed/ 0 Who is Your “Person”? It takes a village to raise a child… But What About Adults? https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/05/18/who-is-your-person-it-takes-a-village-to-raise-a-child-but-what-about-adults/ https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/05/18/who-is-your-person-it-takes-a-village-to-raise-a-child-but-what-about-adults/#respond Mon, 18 May 2026 10:00:00 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=987503122 It’s important to recognize that you cannot go through life as easily on your own.

My name is Elizabeth, and I’m a survivor of child abuse and horrific trauma. Healing from trauma is not a quick fix, and recognizing that it will take time is part of the struggle.

“I want to feel better” We say to ourselves.

But some days just don’t go our way, and no matter what life throws at us, we hit the red lights at every intersection.

Other days, we flow through life like a river rushing towards a giant waterfall, as we plunge right to where we want to be. No matter what kind of day, week, or month you are having, it’s important to recognize that you cannot go through life as easily on your own.

Human beings are social creatures, and we often feel better when receiving support from a strong network around us. For most people, it’s our families that hold us together like “glue”.

How many times have you heard your friends talking about their families?

Every day, am I right?

I think it’s nice to hear people share their family stories, but it also makes me jealous.

I’ve got nothing to say when people ask me about my family. I tell them they’re all dead, but it’s not true.

I’ve never had a strong family behind me that I could turn to when I hit all the red lights. I’ve never had a strong role model in my life to help me when I needed it.

Life is harder when the going gets tough for survivors of child abuse and trauma.

I’ve heard the old saying that “It takes a village to raise a child” many times. I agree with that statement, but I think it doesn’t stop when you grow up.

An adult still needs a strong social network of support through all of life’s successes and downfalls.

Imagine if you have to go through a tricky surgery and you need to leave your young kids with someone you trust. Most people choose family.

I never could trust my own family with my own safety, so how could I trust them with my children?

When you get married, you want the world to come to the wedding. I walked down the aisle with “my half” of the room empty. Someone saw a lone tear escape down my cheek, and a big shuffle started with people moving across to my side. It was a nice gesture that made me feel welcomed into my husband’s family.

When you graduate from college, you want people to come and see you achieve a milestone in your life.

I’ve never had that support, and the loss feels like a vacuum in my life, leaving an empty void.

Sharing special moments must be incredible with family around you. I wish I knew how it felt.

It’s much harder to succeed in achieving your goals all alone, but if you get help and support along the way, it’s easier.

Part of healing from abuse is being willing to accept help from others.

This is something most trauma survivors struggle with because part of the damage is that we don’t “trust anyone to be there for us”, without it coming with a price tag, or a ramification of some sort.

It’s even more difficult to recognize that we need help and to ask for it.

I know I’m not good at asking for help, but I also know that I’m one of those people who will bend over backward for anyone who needs my help.

Isn’t that weird?

I’ve been told that accepting help and offering help to others are two different things. As a trauma survivor, I recognize hurt so much quicker than someone who has not lived through trauma. I see the pain from just a look, and I get “that feeling.” It can be overwhelming at times.

Reaching out

When life isn’t going so well, it is important to reach out to people you trust, like friends and, of course, family, if you have them.

Reaching out to friends and family not only feels good, but it also helps you to regulate your feelings.

I don’t know how often I have crossed the street to my friend’s house and sat in her kitchen with a coffee, watching her do laundry while our kids run around our feet. I mean, who does that? Well, my friends and I do it all the time. Just being in someone else’s house can help if you are having a bad day.

Make sure to choose the people you turn to who’s got your back. You will find out very quickly if someone is not trustworthy, and it’s not a nice feeling to be betrayed by someone close. It can take a while to get back up on your feet again.

Sometimes you think you know the person, only to find out they never had your best interests at heart.

If it doesn’t feel right, then it probably isn’t. Listen to that inner voice of yours.

There are those times when you need more help than just sitting in someone’s kitchen or having a catch-up coffee with a friend.

Tell that person you need their undivided attention to listen to you vent or to understand that you have a problem and need their advice. For these conversations, only privacy can help.

Let someone else take care of the kids for an hour and go somewhere private. Sometimes, these conversations are so difficult that you might just need a shoulder to cry on. Boy, have I been there plenty of times.

Whatever you need at that moment is the right thing to do.

I have come a long way in my healing journey by opening up to trusting people about my past. I feel better after sharing my hurt and pain with people.

I wrote a memoir of my childhood Amazon.com: The Sex-Offender’s Daughter: A True Story of Survival Against All Odds eBook: Woods, Elizabeth: Kindle Store and published it for the world to see.

I wrote the book to help other survivors know that it is okay to be allowed to have a life after abuse, and to fully live it. I also wrote it for therapists and other professionals who work with trauma survivors, so that they can understand what survivors carry before they get help.

You are not alone in the world. Use the people around you who make you feel better and let them know what your struggles are. The people who love you will want to know, and help you thrive.

Trust your instincts about people. They are usually right.

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Support your fellow writer:

https://ko-fi.com/elizabe69245484

Photo Credit: Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: This guest post is for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing shared here, across CPTSDfoundation.org, any CPTSD Foundation website, our associated communities, or our Social Media accounts, is intended to substitute for or supersede the professional advice and direction of your medical or mental health providers. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the guest author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CPTSD Foundation. For further details, please review the following: Terms of Service, Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer

]]> https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/05/18/who-is-your-person-it-takes-a-village-to-raise-a-child-but-what-about-adults/feed/ 0 Trauma, Trauma, trauma… But does the world know what it truly means? https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/05/14/trauma-trauma-trauma-but-does-the-world-know-what-it-truly-means/ https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/05/14/trauma-trauma-trauma-but-does-the-world-know-what-it-truly-means/#respond Thu, 14 May 2026 10:00:00 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=987503003

Trigger Warning: This post discusses various types of traumatic events, how the body responds, and how, at times, society can misuse the word “trauma,” therefore potentially minimizing its effect on those who struggle in this area. Take care as you read.

Our world is in crisis, and trauma is a word we constantly hear around us. It’s on the news every day in some form. 

Go online or turn on your TV, and you’ll see a distressing event reported almost immediately from somewhere in the world.

Do we think about any of it? 

Probably not, because if we did, we would cry all the time and not be able to leave our homes.

The word Trauma is everywhere, and our world is hurting, but how many people know what trauma truly means?

I’ve heard people talk about trauma as if it’s a bruise or a cut that requires a band-aid. It makes me mad and, quite frankly , disappointed.

The word is being misused by the masses, and it’s lost its true meaning somewhere along the way. People have been desensitized by the word trauma because it has been overused for situations that shouldn’t be labeled by the word at all.

The word trauma is not good, and should not be belittled and overused for every situation. 

The word Trauma means  – Any disturbing experience that results in significant fear, helplessness, dissociation, confusion, or other disruptive feelings intense enough to have a long-lasting negative effect on a person’s attitudes, behavior, and other aspects of functioning.

Traumatic events include those caused by human behavior (e.g., rape, war, industrial accidents) as well as by nature (e.g., earthquakes) and often challenge an individual’s view of the world as a just, safe, and predictable place. any serious physical injury, such as a widespread burn or a blow to the head.

Adapted from the APA Dictionary of Psychology Source: https://www.apa.org/topics/trauma

Notice the difference? Trauma is the feeling after a traumatic event has happened to you. It’s your body’s response.

How many news anchors report that? I can tell you - NONE. How can they possibly know how someone feels after a horrific event?

Trauma comes in many different forms, and I think most people have been subjected to some kind of traumatic event during the course of their lives. 

There is obvious physical trauma that refers to a person suffering a sudden injury caused by an accident, like a car crash, or any other situation that causes a sudden physical reaction to the body.

Physical trauma heals quickly over time. Bones can be reset in the operating theater, and injuries heal. 

Psychological or emotional trauma is a different kind of trauma where a person has been in a highly stressful situation, which causes a reaction to them. 

Here, the trauma wounds are invisible, but many of us carry them, and they cause chaos in our lives.

Living with trauma is hard.

Trauma can come from witnessing a horrific event or experience where the individual was subjected to harm in some way: for example, being frightened, under threat, or abused, ridiculed, harassed, or even rejected without any power to stop it.

Have you ever been so frightened that you froze and became unable to speak? That reaction is a trauma response. 

Have you ever been in a situation where you were sure you would die? That reaction is a trauma response.

Trauma can be caused by witnessing someone being harmed and being powerless to stop it. 

It stays with you long after the event. Torturing you…. 

Could you have stopped it? That agonizing what if… can haunt you for decades, but the “what if” is not an exact science. The event has happened. It’s gone, and whatever you do, say, or think about it, will not change the outcome.

Have you ever witnessed a murder or someone being tortured and unable to stop it? Your reaction is a trauma response.

Trauma is not something to talk about lightly. Trauma hurts people, and I can guarantee it’s happening in your street and in your city. 

We don’t see trauma because these reactions are happening to people inside their bodies. Trauma is invisible.

Trauma can be caused by living for a long time in a traumatic environment, like being a prisoner of war, or living in an abusive home. Imagine how you feel after that? That reaction is trauma.

Do you know someone who has suffered from child abuse? Maybe you are a survivor yourself? Do you know how it feels when you lie in bed at night and hear those heavy foot steps come to your door? 

That tense feeling, the hyperventilating, the pain of being restrained, the stifled screams, the pain… The feeling of wanting to die - that is trauma. I know because I’ve felt it many times.

Have you ever been raped? Your reaction is trauma. It is not something a band-aid is going to heal in two days.

Have you ever been shot? Your reaction afterward is trauma. You remember where you were shot forever afterward because of the scar. 

There is also racial trauma where an individual is subjected to racism for whatever reason, which causes a person mental or physical harm.

In all this negativity that surrounds us, we must focus on the good that is happening in our lives, otherwise we will feel overwhelmed by trauma reactions to our minds, bodies, and hearts. 

I’m a survivor of child abuse and witnessing horrific trauma. I suffered from most of the different types of trauma I describe in this article before I reached puberty. 

I wrote my experiences in my childhood memoir: The Sex-Offender’s Daughter, and in a follow-up book called “Living with Complex PTSD.”

My childhood was anything but a childhood, and yet somehow, I am still alive. I survived where most people would not, and even though my childhood is still haunting me at times, I’m doing okay now. 

It is completely okay to be hurting sometimes, when you have suffered child abuse or a prolonged, horrific event like being in a war zone or any of the events I discussed above. It’s okay to feel trauma from anything that has happened to you.

There are billions of survivors out there living with trauma every single day. People who are in pain. People who are suffering from horrific traumatic flashbacks caused by triggers. 

Trauma is not fun. It hurts people - every single day.

I was triggered today by a passing comment by someone whom I trusted and considered to be a friend. How mistaken I was. 

I’m hurting, and this person has no idea that the words that were said could have that strong triggering effect on me. I felt like she had slashed me open with a deep wound across my heart. Her words cut me deep.

Self-care and Professional help

It’s important if you are a survivor like me, and hurting, that you try and take care of yourself and also seek professional help. 

A counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist can help and guide you through your trauma reactions. 

One note of caution…. Before you decide on a therapist, make sure they are the right fit for you and your situation. Test them first and make sure you check them out. 

Are they solid? Can you talk to them? Are they qualified to help you? What’s their experience with similar situations?

Don’t be afraid to ask these questions.

Trauma from child abuse or horrific situations is deeply distressing to talk about. When you do, you need to feel that the person you choose to reveal your trauma to will comfort you and make you feel better.

There are times when I have been in the “not okay” phase due to being triggered by trauma memories. My therapist works with me through the triggers that cause the way I am feeling.

One of the first things she says to me is that all feelings are okay. All survivors react differently to traumatic events.

You can help yourself feel better on a bad day by listening to your body. Self-care is important and often the first thing you forget during a trigger.

Have you drunk water today? When was the last time you ate?

Have you taken a painkiller for that headache? Did you sleep last night?

When was the last time you listened to your body?

Sometimes, the reaction to a traumatic memory is long-lasting, and survivors stay traumatized for days and weeks after. 

The hurt is just too deep to go away on its own. 

This is when you need professional help to work through that pain and find a way to move back to your equilibrium.

The problem with being in survival mode due to trauma becomes more so with everything that is happening around us. Avoid listening to the news and stay away from people who will make you feel worse.

Once triggered and feeling traumatized, a second and third trigger will make it so much more difficult to recover. I can only describe this pain as being decked, and you try to get up, but halfway there, you’re decked again - and again…. 

Trauma survivors can live like this every day. 

I used to be one of them, but I got help. 

Trauma hurts. 

It hurts really badly, and the pain follows you. 

Imagine that. A pain that follows you everywhere you go, and you cannot shake it off. That is trauma.

That pain eventually causes the tears to come. It happens to all of us. Some more than others. 

That pain from trauma has to come out. 

So let it do just that. Let those tears flow and open the floodgates. That big “stone” called grief, you keep trying to swallow in your throat, will not go away without those complex emotions being released. 

If those tears won’t come easily, as is often the case, then go do something real physical like boxing, running, or circuits - something that will get that heart pumping until you can do no more.

That is sure to get those tears going as the adrenaline stops flowing with your body relaxing after you stop. It works for me every time. 

There is a song by the band: R.E.M, called “Everybody Hurts”. Music is very personal and can evoke a range of emotions. For me, this particular song is an extremely sad song, but I also think it is full of hope. 

It tells the listener to “hold on” and that is a message I want to say to all trauma survivors. 

No matter how much you are hurting right now, there is hope, and you are not alone. Just like the song dictates, “you are not alone”. The song repeats this line over and over. 

When I am triggered and feeling weak, my brain keeps telling me that I am alone. That is far from the truth, and I am sure if you are reading this, that is the case for you as well. 

I have good memories and happiness to draw on when I am triggered. I am sure you have too.

My advice is this: No matter how much you are hurting right now, life will get better. Like the song by R.E.M, I want you to hold on because you are not alone. 

You are strong to have come as far as you have. You are a survivor. Hang in there, hold on and find someone who you can talk to. Life is for living and being happy. 

As survivors, we need to hold our heads up high and recognize that we are good enough just the way we are. We are strong enough to carry on and life does get better as we heal. 

There is a new sunrise every day, and with that morning glow comes endless possibilities for a happy day. 

It starts with you thinking and focusing on what to make of your life. Grab that opportunity with both hands and go out there.

You’ve got this.

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Support your fellow writer:

https://ko-fi.com/elizabe69245484

Photo Credit: Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: This guest post is for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing shared here, across CPTSDfoundation.org, any CPTSD Foundation website, our associated communities, or our Social Media accounts, is intended to substitute for or supersede the professional advice and direction of your medical or mental health providers. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the guest author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CPTSD Foundation. For further details, please review the following: Terms of Service, Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer

]]> https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/05/14/trauma-trauma-trauma-but-does-the-world-know-what-it-truly-means/feed/ 0 When “Calm Down” is Contempt https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/04/15/when-calm-down-is-contempt/ https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/04/15/when-calm-down-is-contempt/#respond Wed, 15 Apr 2026 10:00:00 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=987502158 In my first mental health job in the early 1990s, I learned a rule that still holds under pressure. Never tell an upset client to “calm down.” It backfires. The person does not feel heard, seen, or validated. They feel managed. The phrase sounds helpful to the one saying it, but lands like a warning to the upset individual. In trauma-affected bodies, a nervous system already scanning for control reads the words as a status move rather than care, so arousal rises and thinking narrows. You may get short-term quiet. You also buy long-term fallout. People comply in the moment, then avoid, shut down, or explode later.

De-escalation respects physiology before it attempts logic. Stress moves through a brief sequence: something triggers, the mind assigns meaning, the autonomic system shifts, and behavior follows. That appraisal window is the only real chance to change course.

  • If you offer a concrete option the person can use, arousal softens.
  • If you judge the emotion and demand composure, arousal climbs.

Kitchens, clinics, classrooms, and squad rooms follow the same pattern because biology does not bend to titles.

Tone policing is often sold as coaching. In practice, it rewards packaging over truth and asks the person with less power to present pain in a way that comforts the person with more power. That may calm a meeting for ten minutes and poison the relationship for ten months. Survivors learn to edit for safety. They stop reporting until the situation reaches a clinic, a courtroom, or a crisis team.

There is a clean difference between soothing and silencing. Soothing reduces demand on the nervous system by changing something real in the environment. Silencing insists on compliance while everything else stays the same.

  • Children feel the difference before they can explain it.
  • Adults who have lived through coercion feel it at the first word.
  • Employees hear it when performance talks are about tone more than work.

Language that works is short, specific, and time-bound. It pairs a behavior with an escape from the moment.

In homes where trauma sits in the air, “calm down” usually appears when fear spikes.

  • A parent wants quiet.
  • A partner wants the argument to end before someone leaves.

Softer words are not enough. Clean asks, are.

If you need quiet, say, “I need quiet for fifteen minutes.” If you need space, say, “I am stepping out and will return at 7:30.” If you need a boundary, state it once, repeat it once, then hold it. Direct requests reduce humiliation and stop the chain of second fights that ride behind the first.

Care practices should target the body as much as the story. A survivor will not settle because someone says “relax.” They settle when doors stay unlocked, plans are kept, and consequences match behavior. That rhythm lowers limbic alarm and shortens recovery time. Pair that with simple regulation skills: slow nasal breathing, brief movement, water, light, and a shift to a quieter space. Skills beat speeches.

Clinicians and peer supporters can improve outcomes with three habits.

  1. Speak to function more than labels. “When meetings go past six, your body moves into defense, and you stop hearing offers.”
  2. Give one action at a time and wait. Brains under stress need more time to process than any of us want to admit.
  3. Protect dignity while you set limits. People can accept boundaries when they do not feel shamed in front of others.

For survivors, here is a field kit you can use without permission from anyone.

  • Decide on two sentences you will say when your own arousal spikes.
  • Write them down and practice them cold.
  • Schedule your hardest conversations earlier in the day, not after your energy drops.
  • Anchor every argument to one decision and one time box.
  • If you are facing someone who uses tone as a weapon, switch to written communication, where you can slow the cadence and keep a record.
  • Protect your body with routine sleep, food, movement, and light. Restoration is not a reward for good behavior. It is fuel for better judgment.

The line between safety and control runs through language and follow-through. “Calm down” tries to take control without adding safety. Replace it with behavior that actually lowers load and words that do not humiliate. Rooms get safer when people feel steady enough to think, and lives get more livable when promises are realistic enough to be kept.

References:
Barrett, L. F. (2017). How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
Edmondson, A. C. (2019). The fearless organization: Creating psychological safety in the workplace for learning, innovation, and growth. John Wiley & Sons.
Gottman, J. M. (1994). What predicts divorce? The relationship between marital processes and marital outcomes. Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
Herman, J. L. (2015). Trauma and recovery: The aftermath of violence—from domestic abuse to political terror (Rev. ed.). Basic Books.
Linehan, M. M. (2014). DBT skills training manual (2nd ed.). The Guilford Press.
National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health. (2002). The changing organization of work and the safety and health of working people (DHHS [NIOSH] Publication No. 2002-116). U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.
van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.

Photo Credit: Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: This guest post is for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing shared here, across CPTSDfoundation.org, any CPTSD Foundation website, our associated communities, or our Social Media accounts, is intended to substitute for or supersede the professional advice and direction of your medical or mental health providers. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the guest author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CPTSD Foundation. For further details, please review the following: Terms of Service, Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer

]]> https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/04/15/when-calm-down-is-contempt/feed/ 0 Are You a Positive Thinker? The Benefits of a Positive Mind https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/04/14/are-you-a-positive-thinker-the-benefits-of-a-positive-mind/ https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/04/14/are-you-a-positive-thinker-the-benefits-of-a-positive-mind/#respond Tue, 14 Apr 2026 10:00:00 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=987501837 Hey, how are you doing today? Can you remember your first thoughts this morning? Was it a positive thought about your day ahead?

Our world is full of negativity right now. It can be hard to tune everything out that’s going on in the news and in our cities.

Did you know how you think can affect your health and outlook in life? It sounds weird, and I was skeptical too before I thought about my own life.

Positive thinking breeds a positive outlook on life. Many of us naturally default to negative thoughts. We can spend days feeling down and moody about things. It’s not good for our health to be negative all the time.

What if I told you that it doesn’t have to be that way? That if you changed the way you think by only a little bit, you can feel better.

Positive thinking is not magic, but it works — and I’m living proof.

I spent years feeling invisible and hurt after living through trauma. Nobody appeared to see the true me. I fought to rewire my brain and ignore comments from people that wanted to put me down. Even though life was not going my way at the time, I forced myself to think positively instead of focusing on the negative situation I was in.

Little by little, I started clawing back my own sanity and myself.

Here are my proven ways to tackle negativity through positive thinking

  1. Positive glimmers. No matter how small they might be, look for them, even in negative situations. If a friend cancels on you, think about the time you gain to focus on other things. Your friend will still be there for another day.
  2. Gratitude. Focus on the good things that are happening in your life and be grateful for them — no matter how small. At one point in my life, I was feeling thankful for dry clothes because I had spent many days being soaking wet in the rain.
  3. Choose who you spend your time with. Surround yourself with people who are happy and energize you. There is nothing wrong with spending time with friends who are down on their luck, but if they are the only people you see, then you will also be zapped of energy and gloom. Seek out those friends who nurture you and give you something in return. That’s where you will find positivity.
  4. Humor. Allow yourself to laugh every now and then.
  5. Positive self-talk. Did you know that how you talk to yourself can have a big impact on how you feel and act? It’s true that if you keep telling yourself that you are “worthless” and “stupid,” then you will start to feel that way. How about changing the narrative to “I’m not good at this yet,” or “I think I need more practice.” I use this self-talk often with my own kids and those who I teach when they tell me “They can’t do it.” I always challenge this by “How about you say, you can’t do it yet, but you will.”
  6. Identify where you tend to think negative thoughts. If you can’t think of one, ask a friend or your partner. I’m sure they can help you with this. Once you know where you are negative about yourself, you can tackle it. Challenge why you feel that way. What is the proof?
  7. Journaling. Write your thoughts down, especially those negative thoughts. If you have the same negative thoughts, you will soon notice a pattern, and you can do something about it. Positive thoughts are nice to note down and if you are feeling down, a nice read to take that “frown upside down.” (Can you tell I teach first graders?)
  8. Wake up each morning with a positive thought or act. I do this often, and it can be as simple as telling yourself that, “your day will be great.” I usually take this a step further, and I compliment those around me. “I like your shirt,” or “what a nice color.” Giving somebody a compliment doesn’t just make other people feel good, but I enjoy it too.

When you start focusing on a more positive outlook in your life, you will start to notice subtle changes.

You will feel better within yourself and in how you act around other people.

You will notice that your energy levels are higher than before and you can focus better on things.

Your mental and physical well-being improve, and you have less sick days and headaches.

You recover quicker from colds and injuries.

You cope better in stressful situations.

You notice quicker when your body is acting up and you fix it before it turns into something worse like depression.

You live longer.

Positive thinking isn’t a magic cure for everything, but what it will do is help you to navigate problems with better control.

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

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Guest Post Disclaimer: This guest post is for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing shared here, across CPTSDfoundation.org, any CPTSD Foundation website, our associated communities, or our Social Media accounts, is intended to substitute for or supersede the professional advice and direction of your medical or mental health providers. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the guest author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CPTSD Foundation. For further details, please review the following: Terms of Service, Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer

Here are a few links to my top articles:

 

]]> https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/04/14/are-you-a-positive-thinker-the-benefits-of-a-positive-mind/feed/ 0 How Trauma Turns Us Into Controllers—and How We Finally Learn to Let Go https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/04/07/how-trauma-turns-us-into-controllers-and-how-we-finally-learn-to-let-go/ https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/04/07/how-trauma-turns-us-into-controllers-and-how-we-finally-learn-to-let-go/#comments Tue, 07 Apr 2026 10:00:00 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=987501930 People don’t become controlling because they enjoy it. They become controlling because trauma taught them that unpredictability is dangerous. When life blindsides you enough times, your nervous system starts operating like a private security detail—monitoring, predicting, assessing, and bracing for impact long before anything actually happens.

From the outside, it looks obsessive.
From the inside, it feels like the only way to survive.

Trauma-conditioned control isn’t about power–it’s about protection. It’s the instinct to hold everything in place so nothing can collapse again. And for a long time, that was my reflex, too. I micromanaged everything. I monitored every detail. I tried to outthink disaster. I believed if I could just control enough variables, nothing could hurt me.

I kept that mindset into my forties. Not because I was stubborn, but because I didn’t have any other operating system. The turning point wasn’t peaceful or pretty: it arrived as exhaustion. There eventually arrives a moment where we realize that trying to prevent every possible crisis is more draining than the crisis itself.

Letting go didn’t happen overnight. It wasn’t a spiritual revelation. It was work—slow, uneven, gritty work. Today, twenty years later, I’m not “perfect.” I’m maybe ninety-five percent there, as far as not needing to control so fiercely. But the remaining five percent doesn’t frighten me. It reminds me that healing doesn’t require perfection; it requires awareness, consistency, and self-responsibility.

This is the first truth many trauma survivors never hear:
You do not have to be a flawless human being to reclaim your peace.
You only have to stop letting your reflexes run your life.

Long-term trauma alters the brain.

It wires it toward pessimism—quiet, habitual pessimism—not because we want drama, but because our bodies learned to prepare for the worst. So a late payment feels like financial collapse. A delayed text feels like rejection. A shift in plans feels like abandonment.

It isn’t truth.
It’s trauma.

The brain catastrophizes before it thinks.
It predicts disaster before it considers fact.
Left unchallenged, that pattern blinds us to anything steady, healthy, or good.

And the cost doesn’t stop with the individual. When every conversation becomes a breakdown, a spiral, or another “my life is falling apart” report, even the most loyal people eventually step back. Not out of irritation—but out of emotional fatigue. A support system can hold you, but it cannot carry the entire weight of your unregulated nervous system.

Here is the boundary trauma survivors must learn:
Support helps.
But support cannot do the work for you.

Your mindset is your responsibility. Your regulation is your responsibility. Your reframing is your responsibility.

Reframing gets a bad reputation because people mistake it for “positive thinking.” It’s not. Reframing is trauma rehabilitation. It’s the daily practice of teaching your body that not everything is danger. It’s reminding your brain that a setback is not a collapse. It’s choosing interruptive truth over catastrophic assumption.

When the “my day is ruined” script starts rolling, the goal isn’t to suppress it. The goal is to interrupt it long enough to stop the spiral.

One of the most powerful interrupters I ever used was a simple phrase:
“Well, isn’t this interesting.”


It shifts catastrophe into observation. It pulls the mind out of victimhood and moves it into curiosity. Sometimes this phrase gives me clarity to handle the next step. Sometimes it opens the door for tears because the emotion needed to move. Either way, it breaks the spell. And that second of interruption changes everything.

There are other ways to interrupt the trauma reflex.

  • Ask a neutral question:
    What else might be true here?
    Not what else is positive—what else is true.
  • Name one fact:
    My body is reacting to a prediction, not a reality.
  • Call out the distortion:
    This feels catastrophic, but it’s actually inconvenience.
  • Or simplify the moment into the most manageable task:
    What is the next right step?
    Just one step–not twenty.

These small shifts are the only size a traumatized nervous system can swallow.

Big strategies overwhelm. Small strategies interrupt.

And interruption is the beginning of regulation. That’s where peace begins—not when life becomes predictable, but when we stop gripping things we were never meant to control.

Control was a survival tool we developed when the world was unsafe. But peace is a skill we develop when the world is no longer dictates our internal state. We learn to respond without bracing, to adjust without spiraling, to shift without collapsing.

Healing isn’t the absence of difficulty.
Healing is knowing you can handle difficulty without losing yourself.

And the moment we stop gripping what was never ours to hold, something remarkable happens:
Our peace finally comes back.

Sources

The Body Keeps the Score — Bessel van der Kolk, MD (Viking Press)
Trauma and Recovery — Judith Herman, MD (Basic Books)
Principles of Trauma Therapy — John Briere & Catherine Scott (SAGE Publications)
The Polyvagal Theory — Stephen W. Porges (Norton)
Emotional Intelligence and the Brain — Daniel Goleman & Richard Davidson (Bloomsbury)
Cognitive Therapy of Anxiety Disorders — David A. Clark & Aaron T. Beck (Guilford Press)
In An Unspoken Voice — Peter A. Levine, PhD (North Atlantic Books)
The Upward Spiral — Alex Korb, PhD (New Harbinger Publications)
The Neuroscience of Emotion Regulation — James J. Gross (Cambridge University Press)
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving — Pete Walker, M.A. (Azure Coyote Books)
The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook — McKay, Wood, & Brantley (New Harbinger Publications)
The Science of Positivity — Loretta Graziano Breuning, PhD (Adams Media)
Cognitive Behavior Therapy: Basics and Beyond — Judith S. Beck, PhD (Guilford Press)
Managing Traumatic Stress — Edna Foa, Terence Keane, & Matthew Friedman (Guilford Press)
The Feeling Brain: The Biology and Psychology of Emotions — Elizabeth Johnston & Leah Olson (Norton)

 

Photo Credit: Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: This guest post is for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing shared here, across CPTSDfoundation.org, any CPTSD Foundation website, our associated communities, or our Social Media accounts, is intended to substitute for or supersede the professional advice and direction of your medical or mental health providers. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the guest author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CPTSD Foundation. For further details, please review the following: Terms of Service, Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer

]]> https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/04/07/how-trauma-turns-us-into-controllers-and-how-we-finally-learn-to-let-go/feed/ 2 15 Things To Do When Facing Uncertainty https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/03/31/15-things-to-do-when-facing-uncertainty/ https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/03/31/15-things-to-do-when-facing-uncertainty/#comments Tue, 31 Mar 2026 10:00:00 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=987501666 Hey, how are you doing today? Are you having a good day or a “not so great day?”

Do you feel valued right now?

In a world where everything is falling apart around us, it’s hard to feel valued. There are too many layoffs and new staff being hired that need training.

You might have those dark thoughts that creep into your head on your commute to work when you are alone in the car. You might be queuing in the grocery store after work one day, and it’s taking longer than it should when those thoughts meander back into your consciousness.

Are you happy right now?

Are you good enough?

Are you wondering if you will be furloughed or laid off next?

When we face uncertainty in life, we naturally turn inwards. We turn to our friends and loved ones to regain our balance. It’s during these conversations and reflections that we start to see things in a different way.

We know there is no point in worrying about things that are out of our control, but if our jobs are on the line, we can’t help it. There’s too much at stake if we are in a position to lose a steady paycheck. It’s hard to see beyond that, and those self-defeating thoughts can worm into our lives. They usually eat away at our self-esteem and confidence.

There are many things you can do to feel better when faced with uncertainty. I’ve faced uncertainty and challenges many times as a trauma survivor and beyond. What I’ve learned is that no matter what, you must keep on living. You’ve come so far to get to this point, and no matter what happens in life ,  you are in charge of it.

I believe my experience can help you, my readers, to find solace and feel better even if you are having a tough time. I’ve compiled a list of things that I do to feel better.

Here are 15 things to do when you face uncertainty:

  1. Acceptance. Be honest with yourself: say what you are feeling and why. Acknowledging how you feel can help you tackle those emotions. Accept that you cannot please everyone, no matter how hard you try. We all have our imperfections and quirky behaviors. It’s what makes us human beings.
  2. Take care of you first. If you have had a difficult day when the boss has been riding you every moment, recognize that stress. Practice self-care and use grounding techniques and mindfulness. Notice your breath as you breathe out the anger and stress.
  3. Exercise is a great de-stressor. I love going for a swim or a run when I’m stressed. Maybe exercising can benefit you too.
  4. Think of short-term goals that you can achieve when you are feeling overwhelmed. These are things you can control, like your daily routines and home life. Focus on short tasks that you can do straight away to feel a sense of achievement.
  5. Reach out to friends and family. Talk about how you are feeling and voice those emotions out loud.
  6. Stop comparing yourself to others. Everyone has their own path to lead, and yours is unique to you.
  7. Think about your language. How are you expressing the way you are feeling? Can you say what you are feeling in a better, more positive way?

You tell yourself: “I suck at giving work presentations. My colleagues are way better than me.”

Instead, say: “I’m not that great at giving presentations yet because I haven’t had enough practice. My friends are better than me because they have had more time.”

8. Reduce your stress. If something is making you feel anxious like watching the news or sitting in a traffic jam for hours to and from work — avoid them. Turn off the news and go a different route.

9. Think about your happy place. When you are feeling overwhelmed, it can really help to do something that makes you happy. You might have a letter or a positive message that can give you a boost. Notice that feeling? Now harness that and fill up on the joy for a while.

10. Challenge your reality. Let’s face it, life can be unpredictable and uncertain. Think about why you feel this way? What caused it? Is it your interpretation or factual? What would someone else say / do if they were in the same situation?

11. Put your situation into perspective. When we face uncertainty, emotions get in the way. When we are emotional, we can’t think clearly.

My nan gave me the advice “to never go to bed angry.” I didn’t understand her as a child, but I do now. A fresh perspective without emotion does help.

Ask yourself: What’s the worst that can happen? How likely is this to happen? 

What are the repercussions? Will it matter in a year / two years / ten years from now?

12. Reframe your thoughts. Think of how you can turn your uncertain situation into something positive. Could there be an opportunity for growth?

13. Past successes to pave the way for your future. Think about what you have achieved so far in life. How far you have come to get to this point.

14. Gratitude and reflection. Think about all the things that you already have. Your qualities and talents. Your family and friends. Maybe a new change would be good for you?

15. Believe in yourself. If you can believe it — you will achieve it. A positive mental attitude can make a big difference to your outlook in life.

I’ve been through many challenges in my life and I’m still here. Sometimes it’s not about the situation itself but how you move on from it.

How will you handle your uncertainty right now?

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Support your fellow writer:

https://ko-fi.com/elizabe69245484

Photo Credit: Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: This guest post is for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing shared here, across CPTSDfoundation.org, any CPTSD Foundation website, our associated communities, or our Social Media accounts, is intended to substitute for or supersede the professional advice and direction of your medical or mental health providers. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the guest author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CPTSD Foundation. For further details, please review the following: Terms of Service, Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer

]]> https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/03/31/15-things-to-do-when-facing-uncertainty/feed/ 2 Tips for Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA) Survivors on Social Media  https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/03/30/tips-for-childhood-sexual-abuse-csa-survivors-on-social-media/ https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/03/30/tips-for-childhood-sexual-abuse-csa-survivors-on-social-media/#respond Mon, 30 Mar 2026 10:00:00 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=987502906 It’s not a great habit. Every morning, I grab my phone and do a quick scan of social media. One of the first images I saw yesterday shook me to the core.

A small girl, face redacted, is being exploited. She was about the same age as I was when things started happening to me. While I couldn’t see her face, I saw enough to recognize that she looked somewhat like me at that age. I hadn’t slept well the night before, and my pain levels were already bad. I felt sick, hollowed out, and numb. I didn’t really make it out of bed. I cried off and on all day, barely eating, not wanting to talk. 

These are trying times for survivors of childhood sexual abuse (CSA). As troves of files from one of the world’s most notorious modern sexual abuse scandals are released in waves, survivors are confronted with unwelcome images and details that can be deeply triggering. 

The names of victims were among the unredacted information—a reminder of how painful this can be for those who have continued to suffer in the public eye. Not only are we seeing the photos and emails, we’re also subjected to endless jokes, memes, speculation, sensationalized clickbait, doubt and accusations of evidence of being falsified, dismissals from people saying that this not a big deal and it’s all in the past and we should move on, as well as cries to our fellow citizens to take off the blinders and finally see what’s being presented to the world.  

It’s a lot.  

More than some of our nervous systems can handle.  

As people around the world reckon with terrors beyond their imaginations, those of us who had such things be our unfortunate reality are left to witness their disbelief and horror. As a survivor, I get a unique view into how our voices have been silenced. I remind myself that my reaction can be jaded because these experiences are so deeply embedded in my body that I lived in a state of chronic dissociation for years.   

I had the good fortune to be part of an amazing program for survivors of childhood sexual abuse last year. Rachel Grant’s Beyond Surviving was one of the best programs I’ve encountered on my healing journey. It was also one of the most difficult: I spoke about things that I’d never said out loud before. The trauma release sessions left me so exhausted that my whole body ached for days. With every release of evidence from the files these days, it tests my ability to cope and to maintain resilience.  

I work in digital strategy, and spending time on social media is a core part of my job. I’ve gathered some tips to help practice self-care and wanted to share them here. While no one solution will take care of the problems 100%, a mixture can at least greatly reduce exposure to content you’d rather not see.  

  1. Every major social platform has features to block content by keywords. While this doesn’t block everything, it can take care of a lot.  
  1. Report and block accounts that are sharing child sexual abuse materials (CSAM), or really, anything you could do without. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re living in a bubble. As humans, we’re not meant to be drowning in a tsunami of content. While some major platforms aren’t great about removing content, blocking, or muting can do a lot to help your mental health!
  1. Use a paid social media blocking app if you’re struggling with the temptation to stay informed. As survivors, we may have an urge to support and bear witness to our fellow survivors. It’s up to you to decide what your limit is.  
  1. If a particular channel is overloaded with CSAM or rage bait designed to get people arguing, maybe it’s time to stop visiting. Give it a break, or just uninstall the app. Uninstall all of them if you have to, and take an extended break for as long as you need to.  
  1. Contact your local representatives and senators and ask them to support sensible measures to prohibit AI-generated CSAM, which has been a growing problem making headlines.  
  1. And while this seems like common sense, take it from someone who’s been known to get enmeshed from time to time: don’t jump into the fray. There are literally millions of bots and paid trolls who are seeking to get people upset with rage bait. They may have normal profile pics and bios, and in the fleeting, heated moments of online debates, you may be tempted to argue. Don’t feed the trolls! See point 2—block or mute accounts freely. Don’t share triggering content in an effort to shock people into understanding the trauma of being a survivor. It may get you banned, and arguing online often results in the backfire effect, in which the person you’re arguing with doubles down and gets even more aggressive.  
  1. If you have a support system, ask for help! When I’m on my laptop or phone, my husband will sometimes pass by and check in: asking if I’m okay, am I doomscrolling? Do I need to take a break?  

Even though I’ve described myself as “chronically online” for years, events of the past couple of years have started to change me. I do my work on social media as needed, but my evenings are now reserved for non-digital activities. I crochet. I work on art. I read books or write in a journal. According to my symptom tracker, there’s a noticeable improvement in my mood and emotional health since I’ve started doing so. 

I was born long before social media existed, and I’m finding a lot of value in returning to an offline life as much as I feasibly can.  

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Guest Post Disclaimer: This guest post is for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing shared here, across CPTSDfoundation.org, any CPTSD Foundation website, our associated communities, or our Social Media accounts, is intended to substitute for or supersede the professional advice and direction of your medical or mental health providers. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the guest author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CPTSD Foundation. For further details, please review the following: Terms of Service, Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer

]]> https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/03/30/tips-for-childhood-sexual-abuse-csa-survivors-on-social-media/feed/ 0 The Journey of Recovery – Why Some Heal Faster: Uncovering the Factors Behind PTSD Recovery https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/03/19/the-journey-of-recovery-why-some-heal-faster-uncovering-the-factors-behind-ptsd-recovery/ https://cptsdfoundation.org/2026/03/19/the-journey-of-recovery-why-some-heal-faster-uncovering-the-factors-behind-ptsd-recovery/#comments Thu, 19 Mar 2026 10:00:00 +0000 https://cptsdfoundation.org/?p=987502896

Like many of you, dear readers, I have had certain experiences that led to CPTSD. At one point in my life, my CPTSD had become so overwhelming that I struggled to speak and eat normally, and there were times when I would stutter as a result. Before I got the right diagnosis and finally met a PTSD specialist, I was often misdiagnosed. I was told that I was too sensitive, too emotional, and overreacting.

All these judgments and criticisms made me feel worse about myself. Getting the right diagnosis was a big relief for me. And working with that doctor, a specialist in trauma recovery, helped. Because in all the years before, I was a real specialist in “running away” from situations.

But in this article here today, I want to focus on something much more uplifting: the journey of healing and recovery. I believe it’s important to talk about what helps, what heals, and what inspires us to keep moving forward. My hope is that by sharing these insights, people will find comfort and encouragement on their own path to healing.

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to recover more quickly from PTSD than others?

I certainly have. After being diagnosed with complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD) and desperate to make my panic attacks stop, I not only worked with a specialized trauma therapist but also read extensively on PTSD to gather as much information as possible.

Sometimes I even found myself arguing with my doctor, asking, “Why does recovery take so long?”

Here is what I learned:

Factor #1: Age at the Time of Trauma
One crucial factor in why some people recover faster than others is their age when the trauma occurred.
Children’s brains and nervous systems are still developing, so when trauma strikes early in life, the younger the child, the deeper and more lasting the impact can be. In contrast, a fully grown adult with a mature nervous system is affected differently by the same event. Therefore, an adult can recover more quickly.

Additionally, an adult has the knowledge and life experience to react and respond effectively in many situations, whereas a child naturally feels overwhelmed and scared because they cannot defend themselves physically and lack that experience. Consequently, the same event is far more traumatizing for a child than for an adult.

This is why trauma in early childhood leaves deeper scars on the nervous system, making recovery take longer and requiring deliberate work with a therapist. Early-life trauma embeds deeper neural and physiological changes because a child’s brain and stress-regulation systems are still developing. These “molecular scars” can be seen in altered gene-expression patterns and circuitry long after the event.

Factor #2: Physical vs. Psychological Wounds
The second factor behind differences in recovery is the nature of the trauma itself. Physical traumas, such as childhood abuse or serious accidents, involve direct bodily harm, embedding deep physiological and emotional wounds. Physical traumas create both somatic and emotional wounds, driving lasting dysregulation in stress-response pathways. Psychological traumas, on the other hand, do not cause a physical injury and are often easier to process and heal.

Factor #3: Cumulative Effects of Trauma
The third factor involves the frequency and accumulation of traumatic events. When situations are repeated or new traumas build on top of earlier ones, they often lead to CPTSD, whereas recovering from a single event is generally easier.

Factor #4: The Importance of Early Support
Another important factor influencing the recovery process is how quickly the person accessed help, emotional support, and a safe environment after the traumatic events. Many children receive no help and suffer in silence for years. Only later, as adults, can they seek support and find a qualified trauma therapist.

This is why, when people say they have PTSD, they may be referring to entirely different experiences. I always ask about their age at the time of the trauma, the nature and frequency of the events, and other pertinent details, since these factors reveal whether recovery will take more or less time.

One example: Relearning Safety and Presence – no longer running away. This was a big one for me to learn. Although most people find it simple, with CPTSD I had to relearn how to feel safe and stay fully present in the here and now – a “simple” skill that’s incredibly hard to master for those of us with CPTSD.

🌿These are just some basic insights to get started. I’ll write more about this in the future.


As always, as with all my articles, my hope is that what I share may encourage others on their path of life.
Feel free to reach out if you have any questions – I’m always happy to share what I’ve learned on my journey.

💗 With love, Jeanne

Photo Credit: Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: This guest post is for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing shared here, across CPTSDfoundation.org, any CPTSD Foundation website, our associated communities, or our Social Media accounts, is intended to substitute for or supersede the professional advice and direction of your medical or mental health providers. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the guest author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CPTSD Foundation. For further details, please review the following: Terms of Service, Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer

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