Building Resilience in Healing | CPTSDfoundation.org

Moments in Time……. If You Blink, You Miss Them

Elizabeth Woods — Mon, 12 Oct 2026 10:00:00 +0000

Our world is beautiful, but most people dismiss their surroundings because they see them every day. Sometimes, it takes a stranger to give you a different perspective.

The lens shifts, and then you see it.

The statue you’ve been driving past every day becomes a monument. You suddenly see the craftsmanship the sculptor put into his creation. The smooth curves and perfect angles. A museum becomes a landmark people travel to visit. The queues are a testament to the attraction inside.

Your surroundings aren’t boring any longer because they hold value for people. Maybe you should value them too?

Look around you on your next commute to work. What do you see?

Familiarity doesn’t have to mean boring.

Now that many families are on vacation, I see the world with a different lens. I see the tourists flock to the beaches and flood the landmarks in cities. I see them pull up in droves to enter state parks. The campsites are teeming with brightly colored tents and RV’s. Their faces bring an energetic vibe of awe and wonder to the places.

Try to see your city/town/area with a different lens. Now what do you see?

I like to pretend with my kids that we have different roles; like we are detectives, zookeepers, or tourists for a day. It’s become a fun game to help my kids see the world through a different lens, and we have a lot of fun doing it.

I love the outdoors and explore it with my kids now that summer is here. Just because there’s no school doesn’t mean that learning grinds to a halt. There’s so much to learn and appreciate in the natural world.

I teach my kids to always be inquisitive and ask questions. If you don’t ask, then you won’t know, right?

My kids have learned to value moments. The small, often tiny details in nature that get missed but are beautiful to watch.

Have you ever seen the moment a dragonfly catches its first flight? The way it unravels its exquisite wings and holds them up to the sun’s rays to dry before flying off. I captured it with my camera, and when I zoom in, the silky, delicate segments show up.

My kids and I were lucky to explore nature when we spotted that dragonfly. It was years ago, but my kids still remember the moment and ask to see the photo.

Have you ever sat and watched the turtles hatch on the beach and made their way to the ocean for the first time?

Have you seen the sun rise and set over the ocean? The way the light catches on the edge of the water is stunning. Listen to the sound of the waves washing onto the shore.

When you’re next on the trails, stop talking for a moment and listen to the quiet. After a few moments, your head will be full of gentle sounds from the forest as your senses take over.

Close your eyes and let nature draw you in — just for a moment. Can you hear the birds sing to each other as gentle branches sway above your head?

Have you ever seen a deer in a meadow just outside the protection of the trees?

These are moments that are truly incredible, but you must be open enough to see them. If you blink, you might miss that dragonfly, bird, or creature.

What will you see next time you’re outdoors? Take the time this summer to see something new.

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Support your fellow writer:

https://ko-fi.com/elizabe69245484

The Restoring Ability of Nature

The 1% Ripple Effect

Photo Credit: Unsplash

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Love is all Around You. Can You Feel it?

Elizabeth Woods — Mon, 05 Oct 2026 10:00:00 +0000

Our world is fractured and suffering. The environment is crumbling as global warming does its best to destroy the planet. There is trauma and fear everywhere.

Fear breathes unrest and chaos into our world.

The news channels are bursting with horrific events of death and misery from all corners of the world. Some days I find it impossible to avoid all the horrors of our reality.

When I find myself overwhelmed, I turn to the things I love.

I’m a survivor of trauma and child abuse. I’ve already lived with fear and control from violence from the adults around me. The feeling of living under threat isn’t a life I want for myself, or anyone around me.

I left everyone I knew as a teen.

I turned away from the chaos and chose the simpler things in life to find healing. I found my own peace.

Love is all around us, but you have to open your heart to embrace it.

Where do you turn when your life feels overwhelming? Or do you choose a person or an activity when life gets too much?

I turn to nature because it grounds me and nurtures me in a way no other place can. Nature regulates my circadian rhythm. It makes me centered and calm.

I can sit on the beach, dig my feet into the sand, and listen to the gentle waves lapping the beach for hours.

I turn to the hiking trails nearby and immerse myself in natural sounds.

Once I’m away from the traffic jams, the noise of the city, and people arguing, I find my peace.

Where do you go for your peace?

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Support your fellow writer:

https://ko-fi.com/elizabe69245484

The Restoring Ability of Nature

https://medium.com/illumination/the-restoring-ability-of-nature-aaafc469f13f

Smiling is Fantastic…

https://medium.com/illumination/smiling-is-fantastic-you-catch-it-like-the-flu-1c7b1f9ee1a9

Self-worth Vs Self-esteem

https://medium.com/illumination/self-worth-vs-self-esteem-bc10a6b66a8d

Photo Credit: Unsplash

What Do Your Nerves Say About You? Steadiness, Presence and Calm are Always Within Reach

Elizabeth Woods — Mon, 05 Oct 2026 10:00:00 +0000

When your world turns upside down

When you feel like you want to die

When there’s nobody around

When all you can do is cry

Living with trauma is not easy and most people have no idea what survivors go through every single day. I write for those who have no voice due to trauma, in the hope that I can make their day a little less heavy.

I write to spread awareness of trauma behavior so that family members can recognize the signs, and help take care of loved ones when they are struggling.

I write because I’ve been living with trauma memories all my life. I know how to heal, and get through even the worst memories. If I can do it, so can any survivor.

There is life after trauma, and it can be great.

In this article, I’m talking about your healing journey. The one path to happiness that I’ve traveled on for many years. I know it’s not easy to heal, but I also know that it can be done.

Let’s take a look at your healing journey and delve deeper into your nervous system.

The nervous system is your body’s command center. It functions from your brain, spinal cord, and nerves by using electrical and chemical signals to transmit information through the body.

Your Peripheral Nervous System (PNS) is made up of all the nerves which branch out of the brain and spinal cord, connecting to every area of the body.

PNS is made up of two areas: the Somatic and the Autonomic nervous system.

The Somatic nervous system controls voluntary movements, whereas the Autonomic nervous system takes care of our bodily functions. (breathing, digestion, temperature etc.).

Here, I’m going to explore the Somatic system and what happens while we are healing from trauma.

Many trauma responses don’t look like trauma. You might be feeling great, and yet your body is telling you that maybe you’re not.

Trauma responses can look like these:
Constant apologizing
Feeling guilty for resting
Overthinking conversations
Always expecting the worst.

Struggling to trust people
Needing more time to process emotions and situations
Jumping at loud noises
Feeling responsible for everyone
Finding it hard to say “no”
Feeling emotionally numb or disconnected

These aren’t personality flaws. They are often protective survival responses your nervous system developed after experiencing trauma, chronic stress, emotional neglect, or abusive relationships.

The good news is that your nervous system can learn safety again.

Healing doesn’t mean forgetting what happened to you. It means helping your body understand that the danger has passed, and building a life where you can finally feel safe.

There is support to help with your healing journey out there.

Here are a few techniques that I can recommend for those days that you’re not feeling your best self.

Try them out and let me know what works for you.

Nervous system regulation

A cool shower that washes away the hot day. Feel the water sluice the stressors off your body.

Listen to your favorite music. Notice how your body begins to appreciate the tunes by singing or humming along. You may even tap your feet.

Wear your favorite clothes and notice how you feel. That cosy warm feeling is nice after an emotional trigger.

Retreat into a space that blocks out all the noise, or wear noise-canceling headphones. Relish in the quiet for a while and get yourself into a better head space.

Treat yourself to your favorite takeout food after a hard day. The taste of something nice can help you feel better.

Notice your shoulders and neck. If you are carrying trauma, that stress often sits in these areas. Tense and release your shoulders a few times and notice the difference.

Grounding exercises

Feel your feet sink into sand on the beach. Notice the change in temperature in the layers.

Dip your feet into a lake or the ocean. Notice the change in temperature and how it feels on your skin.

Lay down in your favorite place where you won’t be disturbed. Close your eyes for a moment or two. Then open them. Notice five things in your surroundings, think about four things you can hear, three things you can touch, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste.

Once you’re done with the final exercise, your body should be nice a calm.

Breathing techniques

Take a deep breath and feel it expands in your chest. Then release it and let everything go. Repeat until you feel calm.

If you want to try more breathing techniques, I’ve authored a whole article about the “Power of Breathing.” Access it here:

https://medium.com/illumination/the-power-of-the-breath-3e7dd21d1f4e

Trauma-informed Education

There are many books out there claiming to know what it feels like to heal from trauma. As a survivor, I know that not every book does what it says or describes living with trauma accurately.

In my opinion, it takes years to understand what it feels to live with trauma if you haven’t experienced it yourself.

Check out the credentials of the authors before you buy these type of books. Do they know what they’re talking about? What’s their background and experience?

Take a look at the CPTSD Foundation website. There are daily help and advice for trauma survivors.

The Trauma Research Foundation is another website that houses a community of clinicians working with trauma survivors.

Big names such as Dr. Bessel van der Kolk and Dr. Gabor Mate have both published extensively on the topic. Their books are favorite reads of mine, especially Dr. Kolk’s “The Body Keeps the Score.”

Journaling

Journaling your feelings can help if you are struggling with trauma memories. Write it all down and then let it go if you can.

Here is an article I wrote about how journaling can help you heal from trauma:

https://medium.com/pen-with-paper/how-journaling-can-help-you-heal-c151be15be28

Somatic exercises

There are somatic exercises that can help to release trauma from the body. They focus on body sensations to signal safety to the brain to regulate and reconnect you back to “normal.”

Somatic healing involves:

Stretching and movement exercises.
Breathwork
Titration and pendulating
Tremoring and shaking.

This might sound strange to some readers, but I can tell you that if you are stuck in a trauma trigger, somatic healing exercises can help you out of that fight vs flight feeling.

Supportive community

Having people around you is vital for your mental health. We are social creatures and we thrive best when we are supported by others. Being supported doesn’t mean that you have to be with people all the time. There needs to be a balance of respect and boundaries.

For me, just knowing that I have friends who I can bounce things off to when I’m triggered means everything to me. I know my friends are there for me through anything.

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Support your fellow writer:

https://ko-fi.com/elizabe69245484

Photo Credit: Unsplash

How to get out of the Trauma Woods and into the Sunshine

Elizabeth Woods — Tue, 29 Sep 2026 10:00:00 +0000

Trauma — is an emotional or psychological response to very stressful, frightening, or distressing events.

Trauma comes in different forms. Physical trauma refers to a person suffering a sudden injury caused by an accident, such as a car crash. Physical trauma heals over time. Bones can be reset in the theatre and will heal again. Bruises and cuts can be nasty, but most heal in time with medical attention.

Psychological or emotional trauma is a different kind of trauma where a person has been in a highly stressful situation that causes a reaction. It can be from witnessing a horrific event or experience where the individual was subjected to harm in some way: for example, being frightened, under threat or abused, ridiculed, harassed, or even rejected without any power to stop it.

Trauma can be caused by witnessing someone being harmed and be powerless to stop it.

Trauma can be caused by living for a long time in a traumatic environment, such as being a prisoner of war or living in an abusive home.

There is also racial trauma where an individual is subjected to racism for whatever reason, which causes a person mental or physical harm.

Our world is troubled, and trauma is a word we hear all around us. It’s on the news every day in some form. Go online or turn on your TV, and there will be a distressing event reported almost immediately from somewhere in the world. Trauma is everywhere, and our world is hurting or in shock over events.

In all this negativity that surrounds us, we must focus on the good that is happening in our lives; otherwise, we will feel overwhelmed.

I’m a survivor of Child Sexual Abuse and witnessed horrific trauma from several sex-related murders. I suffered from most of the different types of traumas I describe in this post before I reached puberty.

My childhood was anything but a childhood, and yet somehow, I’m still alive. I survived where most people would not, and even though my childhood is still haunting me at times, I’m doing okay most of the time.

I’m not afraid to admit that I also have periods when I’m not okay. It’s completely okay to be hurt sometimes when you have suffered child abuse and trauma.

It’s important if you’re a survivor like me and hurting, that you try and seek professional help. A counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist can help and guide you through your trauma reactions.

A Word of Caution

A professional must be a good fit for you to be able to disclose very personal memories. Trauma from child abuse is something that is deeply distressing to talk about, and when you do, you need to feel that the person you choose to reveal your trauma to will comfort you. They need to have the professional ability to make you feel better or give you a way out of the proverbial “woods” and reach the sunshine.

I have a very skilled psychiatrist who specializes in trauma. I went through a lot of different mental health professionals before I found her. Once we met and discussed what I wanted from her, I knew from her responses that she was the right person for me to reveal my past.

It’s not rude to ask a professional to tell you, their credentials.

Those Pesky Feelings

There are times when I have been in the “not okay” phase due to being triggered by trauma memories from my childhood. My therapist collaborates with me through the triggers that caused the way I’m feeling.

One of the first things she says to me is that all feelings are okay. All survivors react differently to traumatic events but it’s vital that we feel them to get rid of them.

Sometimes we lose sight of who we are when we’re triggered, and we go to grounding techniques and breathing. Those work very well when traumatic events are something we have visited before. Our bodies can shrug those away within hours.

Grounding helps to take the immediate sting out of an emotionally charged trauma memory. Sometimes, a reaction is not as simple as that, and we stay traumatized for days and weeks after. The hurt is just too deep to simply go away by itself.

This is when you need professional help to work through that pain and find a way to move back to your equilibrium.

The problem with being in “survival mode” becomes even more pronounced with everything happening around us as we go about our daily lives. Once triggered and feeling traumatized, a second and third trigger will make it so much more difficult to get back on your feet again.

Sometimes, a survivor needs to accept that the pain must come out. So, let it do just that. Let those tears come out and release the floodgates.

I know what I’m asking and yes, it’s gonna hurt A LOT. That big “stone” called grief you keep trying to swallow in your throat will not go away without those complex emotions being released.

Trust me, I know it because I spent years trying not to feel anything.

If those tears won’t come easily as is often the case, then do something real physical like boxing, running or circuits — something that will get that heart pumping until you can do no more! That is sure to get those tears flowing as the adrenaline stops flowing with your body relaxing. It works for me every time. No matter how I feel, I manage to sob my heart out once I’ve exercised until I can do no more.

There is a song by the band: R.E.M, called “Everybody Hurts.” Music is very personal and can bring lots of mixed feelings. For me, this song is an extremely sad song, but it’s full of hope too. It tells the listener to “hold on” and that is a message I want to say to all survivors.

No matter how much you are hurting right now, there is hope and you are not alone. Just like the song dictates “you are not alone.” The song repeats this line.

When I’m triggered and feeling emotionally weak, my brain keeps telling me that I’m alone. That is far from the truth, and I’m sure if you are reading this, that is the case for you as well.

I chose to cut my bio- family out of my life but since I left, I have made so many friends on the way. I have met people that have shaped me into the person that I am today. I have good memories and happiness to draw on when I’m triggered. I’m sure you have too.

Use these happy memories.

My advice is this: No matter how much you are hurting right now, life will get better. Like the song by R.E.M, I want you to hold on because you are not alone. You are in fact incredibly strong to have come as far as you have. You are so much stronger than most people.

You are a survivor.

So, hang in there, hold on and find someone to whom you can talk. Life is for living and being happy.

My revenge on the people that abused me is that I’m still alive in this world. I’m no longer a sex toy to be used and ridiculed. I’m someone who matters to a lot of people.

I’ve always lived by the motto: “Follow your heart and be happy” and “a simple smile can make a huge difference to someone’s life.”

As survivors, we need to hold our heads up high and recognize that we’re good enough just the way we are. We’re strong enough to carry on, and life does get better as we heal.

There’s a new sunrise every day, and with that morning glow comes endless possibilities for a happy day. That starts with you thinking and focusing on what to make of it. Grab that opportunity with both hands and go out there, happy!

You have come a long way. Hold on and remember that you are not alone.

You’ve got this.

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

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Photo Credit: Unsplash

Honesty is not Cruelty: Rejecting the Damaged Goods Label

Wendy Hoke — Tue, 22 Sep 2026 10:00:00 +0000

My 16 year old son went no-contact with his father, my ex, about 18 months ago. Since that time, he occasionally asks me a loaded question, such as “do you think I’m being cruel?” Knowing what his father did and is capable of doing, I have supported his decision.

Recently, he asked me what principle I live by. He gave his own principle as an example:

“If you are behind me, I will protect you.

If you are beside me, I will respect you.

If you are in front of me, no mercy.”

Then as teenagers sometimes do, he quickly launched a ballistic missile at me: “but you’re Christian, so you will just say let God handle everything.”

We had a brief, productive conversation that included my experience that Christianity doesn’t expect us to ignore evil but to use wisdom and discernment. We acknowledge its existence. It teaches us to forgive, but it doesn’t require us to forget. And forgiveness means not pursuing vengeance on your own and allowing it to consume you. We have the justice system for that.

It was a nice mother/son moment, which has left me pondering the issue of evil, or if you are not religiously minded, criminality, abuse, harm to others, disregard for others, whatever you want to call it.

I could take this discussion towards theology, philosophy, or other disciplines.

But, I want to keep this practical.

My son is asking many questions, and some of those questions have been asked for millennia without satisfying answers.

One thing he is wrestling with it whether he is “different” because of his father’s actions.

This has me thinking about the phrase “damaged goods,” which many victims of abuse grapple with, and I think it is partly because society overall has difficulty pointing fingers at multiple perpetrators. If a father sexually abuses his child, and the mother doesn’t take action to protect her child, she becomes an enabler, an accomplice. Who points the finger at her? Dysfunctional family systems ignore this. Society as a whole ignores this.

Why does society call the victim damaged goods? And it does happen. It has happened to me.

Calling the victim damaged goods is in many ways blaming the victim. Society prefers the narrative of the ‘flawed victim’ because it lets us keep believing that most families are safe and most parents are inherently protective. Naming the perpetrator and the enabler shatters that comforting illusion. It accepts appearances rather than substance.

Look at the linguistics surrounding these topics.

A victim of child sexual abuse is called mentally ill, defective, damaged, broken, scarred, delusional, liar.

A perpetrator of child sexual abuse is called troubled, sick, complicated, misunderstood, or worst of all…the victim of lies.

The language to describe a perpetrator almost begs you to be sympathetic towards the perp.

It took me many years to ask these questions. Just because my grandfather was a child molester and I his victim, why does that make me the damaged one?

Isn’t he the damaged human being, the one committing crimes, the one inflicting harm? If he has the capability to be cruel, why isn’t he defective? If my mother failed to protect me, why isn’t she “different” from animal mothers who have robust maternal instincts to protect against a direct attack by a predator.

Frequently, I run across an anecdote on social media that goes like this:

“My therapist said, people who need therapy don’t come to us, their victims do.”

I understand the point it’s trying to make: many perpetrators have little to no insight into the harm they inflict and rarely seek help to change. Survivors, on the other hand, are often the ones doing the hard work of facing what happened. Therapy, support groups, faith practices, or other healing paths can all be valuable tools in that process.

We need to reject the idea that we are damaged goods. We aren’t on the clearance rack because of some defect. As victims, we need to assertively embrace this concept, internalize it, and speak out about it.

Back to my son:

His dad has not been physically abusive. He developed a rare form of dementia when our son was young, and this dementia caused psychosis. We separated when our son was 6 years old. His dad disappeared for years. Then suddenly, he reappeared a couple of years ago. He still had parental rights and wanted to visit with our son. At first, things went well. They had fun. Then little by little, I could tell the relationship was turning south.

One day, my son came home from a visit and announced he never wants to see his dad again. He didn’t want to tell his dad directly, thus putting me in the middle. Dad filed a motion in court for custody. Our son is old enough to have his voice heard in court, so he told the family court mediator, then he spoke directly to the judge. My son got what he wanted, and dad lost all of his rights.

Trying to deal with a person literally out of touch with reality can be extremely disorienting. And it can be extremely emotionally abusive. It doesn’t matter if his dad can’t control it or isn’t responsible for his illness. The effect is the same on our son.

When my son asked me if he is being cruel to his dad by going no contact, my response was, “I think you are being honest with your feelings.”

My son isn’t responsible for his father’s illness. He isn’t responsible for his father’s choices. He isn’t responsible for fixing a relationship that has become unsafe for him.

He is responsible only for being honest about what he experiences.

That may be one of the hardest lessons for victims of abuse to learn.

We are not broken; we are witnesses. We are not defective; we are people who learned survival strategies that once kept us alive and now can be updated.

Honesty is not cruelty.

Setting boundaries is not cruelty.

Speaking truth is not cruelty.

Being harmed does not make you damaged goods.

It means someone else caused harm.

Photo Credit: Unsplash

The Dysphoric Nature of Redefining Yourself

Adan Rhoades — Mon, 14 Sep 2026 10:00:00 +0000

Half a century is a long time to live in a state of perpetual survival. When a child’s world is confined to a short list of places filled with memories of, and anticipation of, savagery, the paradigm of a safe place is unrecognizable. In my case, I normalized the impacts until, at age ten, my psyche snapped into self-guardianship. CPTSD built the walls, and a guardian within me stood upon them, ever watchful for the slightest hint of an occasion to retreat or stand tall against the intolerable. Decades later, the question became, “Will the internalized guardian allow me to redefine myself and heal?”

When lifelong soul-crushing challenges can no longer be ignored, the past must be reconciled.

I can think of no better analogy for my endeavor than peeling an onion. With my limited insights, the dried, crusty outer skin gave the false impression that the challenge was only old wounds to be removed and “let go”. Yet each peeled layer exposed a more sensitive, raw layer beneath. Each insight gained from blogs, others’ personal accounts, and clinical studies of how the body keeps the score revealed that what I thought were unique personality traits were actually symptoms and characteristics of those like me. The hypervigilance that exhausted me, the strain on my relationships, and the expectation that anything good that happened to me was a setup by the universe to punish me were only a few of the characteristics I thought were uniquely mine. Often, I didn’t even recognize what was happening because these and other CPTSD traits were me—they had always been me—and I was only beginning to see them clearly.

Like a hermit crab discarding its old protective shell for a new one, vulnerabilities are exposed.

As I sought to uncover traits as symptoms to be expunged, I wondered how different I might have been had I not been forced into a tormented life. Such an exercise is exhausting, and I fought depression as a result. Having peeled away so many layers of myself, I sat in my living room and felt dissociation after concluding that I had lost all sense of myself. I held back tears as I shared with a trusted friend at a social event that I no longer knew who I was. It was terrifying. I spent my whole life being as independent as possible, ever distrustful of anyone else but myself. And now I, too, was a stranger. There is a cold emptiness that accompanies being so lost.

Then came the epiphany.

I was wrong to so flippantly wish to discard anything tied to a traumatic past. Many of those traits have served me well in my chosen career. I struggled to accept certain change. I don’t want to lose the ability to recognize risk and danger in an instant. I don’t want to lose the ability to have a sixth sense of people. I don’t want to lose my hard-won intuition or my desire to stand up for those who are being harmed. I just don’t want to be ruled by them. I don’t want to be harmed by the very traits that rose from the ashes of a child consumed by firestorms of abuse—traits that gave me resiliency against future firestorms and strength against injustice. Albeit traits which came with a very high price.

Before me stands the opportunity to rebuild myself in the image of what I’ve always wanted for myself and my world.

Fortunately for me, building from imagery is one of my strengths. I love to design. I love to build. I find extraordinary fulfillment in home remodeling—tearing out old features of a room, redesigning it, and then rebuilding it on whatever foundation I leave in place. Similarly, I thought, why not draw on these strengths as the approach to healing? The guardian within provides strength and a sense of protection. The architect within drafts the blueprint of the vision of the before and after. I would challenge anyone who has embarked on the journey to healing to use their strengths. As for me, for the first time, I had a positive outlook and a belief that success was achievable because I knew I could count on the strength of the structure worth keeping in place.

The time came to tear down the wall.

Rather than tossing all of the stones that made up the wall, I’m keeping a select few and using them to build a new structure. I had asked others to describe me in the hopes of self-discovery toward redefinition. That was the wrong question. Yes, I was told I’m a loving father, but that is familial. I have a title and a career, but that is a job as a provider.

What can be taken from me is not what defines me. What defines me is the center-most place of my being: a heart with the capacity for love and compassion in-depth, when distrust does not push them to the shallows; real kindness and gentleness that mask the strength of an intently determined protector; intellect that is free to express itself without fear of ridicule; and being a person worthy of joyful blessings without fear of being punished for receiving them.

These are the traits of a person I’d be proud to embrace and share with others.

These are the traits of this man as he aspirationally settles into a newly remodeled structure—the structure of peace.

Photo Credit: Unsplash

Time to Turn the Tide: Helping Children of Complex Trauma Survivors

Denise Marie Ryan — Tue, 08 Sep 2026 10:00:00 +0000

I’m a domestic violence victim and I’ve been healing from symptoms of C-PTSD since September 2024 and for the first time ever, I saw what C-PTSD looks like in someone else.

Just the other night, I arrived at the edge of the driveway to pick up my 16-year-old son from his dad’s house. Now mind you, I say “dad’s house,” but we are not yet divorced so it’s technically the marital home because I’m on the deed and mortgage. It was exactly 7pm because that’s what the court order defined as my pickup time and I’m a girl who knows how to follow the rules.

I waited. No sign of my son.

I adjusted my weathered grey bucket hat and smoothed out my custom designed t-shirt that my daughter created for me several years back when we were all still pretending to be a happy family: navy blue with a light blue heart over my chest and a Leigh Hunt quote on the back saying “The groundwork for all happiness is good health.”

After the longest five minutes of my life, my son marched down the front walk of the house I can’t get into followed by my daughter who is in college now. As the parent who left, they’ve come to perceive me as the bad parent even though I’ve been operating in the shadows to protect them: most recently, I prevented an unnecessary knee surgery that my ex was pushing on my son.

Yet, all I saw were deadened faces. Solemn shuffles. The essence of their personalities absent. As they approached, my daughter had her phone up videoing the whole event.

A year ago, I hired a bankruptcy lawyer. Five months ago, the court ordered appropriate support payments and confirmed our 50-50 parenting plan. Then, the dam broke: It felt as though my estranged spouse claimed my son didn’t want to see me and stopped allowing pickups. More court battles began. That night, I sat at the driveway’s edge with another order defining pickup times, drop-off times, and my extra weeknight dinner on off weeks.

Those ghost-like versions of my children curdled my stomach.

I rolled down the window to greet them. The cool breeze reminded me to take a deep breath.

You’re okay. You got this.

Ever since I filed a police report against my spouse and left the marital home, I struggled with picking up my son. The bodily sensations that arose when I was anywhere near that home were almost too much. I’d been through numerous EMDR sessions and desensitization trainings with my therapist to execute what I politely called the “extraction.”

Now, not only did I have to deal with my potential dysregulation, but the forms approaching my car were not the children I’d raised to be loving and warm, compassionate and caring, absolutely extraordinary human beings.

My handsome, athletic, strong of heart and strong of mind son stood back from my window, crossed his arms, and stated for the camera that I was “manipulative” and he was “scared.”

After I left my marriage, and started healing from my symptoms of C-PTSD, my dad said to me, “I didn’t know where you went, but I’m glad to have you back.” At the time, that sentence struck me: I hadn’t gone anywhere. What did he mean?

Over the past few years, I’ve realized that when you are undergoing subtle emotional abuse, you don’t know it’s happening. You are ever so slowly changing to the outside world, but only the people closest to you who have known you your whole life can perceive the change.

I can tell you now that I felt my true self drifting away throughout my marriage and some other self replacing it. There was a darkness taking over my thoughts that I didn’t understand. I couldn’t share that darkness with the world, so my whole life became an act.

I understand now that emotional manipulation rewires the brain. For me, it felt like white turned into black. Happy into sad. Good into bad. It even turned a happy, optimistic person determined to do good work in the world into someone suicidal. But that wasn’t the real me. That was an irrational thought. That was my rewired brain talking and I had to undo the rewiring.

C-PTSD deeply impacts your ability to interact with people since it often results from an extremely close relationship, someone you trusted. As you heal, your behavior is strange and you’re processing a lot of anger. You need people in your life who will still love you, even when they don’t understand why this happy-go-lucky person is now so embittered.

Luckily …

I had a few close childhood friends ready to help me heal. I needed to reboot my real self, and they had the original source code.
My parents came to my aid as well in the greatest display of unconditional love I’ve ever known.
And my therapist, the woman who put the right label on my mental malaise, we’ve done critical work together to bring my psyche from a place of believing I was bad, broken, and unlovable, all the way back to better.

My healing journey also included trauma-focused yoga, hyperbaric oxygen therapy, and a lot of natural supplements, journaling, reading and reflecting. My brain doctor was thrilled with my last set of SPECT scans. She’d seen thousands and she described the healing I’d achieved in only one year, “incredible.”

Now, I know I’ve rewired my brain back.

A loving marriage would never cause C-PTSD.

I’ve made peace with that. I am also proud of the work I’ve done to bring myself back. If you can believe it, I am grateful for what I have been through. The sun shines brighter. The air smells sweeter. Every moment is more precious than ever.

I have a dedicated therapist who promised me we’d discover the root cause of my mental health mess, and we did. I have the best relationship I’ve ever had with my parents: a deeper, more meaningful connection than ever before. And, I know who my real friends are because they did not judge the person I appeared to be on the outside when I was suffering the most, they remembered who I was on the inside, and they helped me find her again.

Now it’s my turn to help.

Seeing my kids that way the other night meant that I am now healed enough to see C-PTSD in other people, but it also means that my children need to heal now too. I’m ready to be a therapist, a parent, and a good friend all wrapped into one.

I am the only one who has loved them unconditionally through spilled milk, temper tantrums, car accidents, and more. I am the only one who has observed them closely—with empathy and curiosity—and quietly questioned and actively listened to understand how they think, who they are, and where they want to go in life.

I am the only hope my children have of reclaiming their real selves and it’s time to turn the tide.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Are You a Highly Sensitive Person? Here’s How You Survive When the World Overwhelms You

Elizabeth Woods — Fri, 04 Sep 2026 10:00:00 +0000

Have you ever been told that you’re too sensitive?

Have you heard comments like:

“You need a thicker skin?”

“You take everything to heart”

This article is for you.

As a trauma survivor, I see the world differently from others. I see the pain that people carry long before they start to speak. It’s in the nuances of how they move and hold themselves. Their body language. It’s in the interactions and words they choose over others. It’s in the tone of voice and ways people communicate.

I’m a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) because I’ve lived through trauma and survived. There are many people like me who have also lived through abuse and trauma. There are people who live with HSP who haven’t survived trauma, but are still sensitive.

What does it mean to be a Highly Sensitive Person?

Being sensitive in this world doesn’t mean something is wrong. It is not a disability or a mental disorder. Being an HSP means that you have a sensitive nervous system.

Are you easily overwhelmed by loud noises, bright lights, strong smells, or rough materials?

Do you get stressed when you have a lot to do in a short amount of time?

Are you a deep thinker and reflect on conversations after they’ve happened?

Do people tell you that you are good at understanding what they are feeling or thinking?

Do you avoid violent movies and content?

Do you shy away from conflict?

If you answered yes to these questions, you’re likely a highly sensitive person.

In everyday life, this boils down to an HSP being aware of tiny, nuanced details in surroundings that others may miss. An HSP is sensitive to other people’s moods and deeply feels pressure and overstimulation.

Unfortunately, this also means that an HSP can easily become overwhelmed in certain situations, like those with strong sensory inputs.

If this sounds like you, read on for advice on how to manage these.

Where did the term HSP come from?

Research Psychologist, Dr. Elaine Aron, came up with the term HSP and wrote a book about it in the mid-nineties. Dr. of Psychology, Ted Zeff, published a book on HSP in 2004, and psychotherapist Mel Collins wrote her book about HSP in 2019.

I think that the world needs to be educated about HSP because we now (more than ever), live with suffering and pain due to traumatic events. It’s literally everywhere we turn, whether it’s in the real world or on social media.

How to Manage HSP in daily life

Cut down on your sensory input

External inputs affect our mental health every day. Most of the time we can shrug it off, but some days feel heavier than others. If you find crowds overwhelming, choose a different time to shop. If you can’t avoid loud, busy places, noise-canceling headphones are a good investment.

Trust your own intuition

“If it doesn’t feel right, then it probably isn’t.” This is a saying that I heard years ago, and I live by it. Trust in your own instincts.

Sleep

This is such a simple and basic need that it tends to be forgotten. If you sleep less than seven hours every night, then you aren’t going to be at your best the following day. Make sure you get plenty of sleep to recharge those batteries.

Rest and relax and reinvigorate yourself

This is another need that most of us forget. We are busy people living in a world that is “on” 24/7. If you have a stressful job, regular breaks are essential to keep you working at your best. Make sure you take breaks. Go somewhere quiet where you won’t be disturbed and do something that nurtures you. Switch off for a while.

Get back to nature

Research has proven that we need nature in our lives. Being outdoors centers us in a profound way. The sounds of bird song, the breeze in the trees, undulating waves crashing onto a beach.

Find a quiet place where you can relax and listen to the sounds around you without any interruptions.

Most of all, believe in yourself and follow your heart. There is nobody else like you in this world and your ideas and thoughts matter.

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Support your fellow writer:

https://ko-fi.com/elizabe69245484

Here are the three books mentioned in my article:

The Highly Sensitive Person by Dr. Elaine N. Aron
This is the quintessential “bible” for HSPs. Written by the research psychologist who coined the term, it explains the science behind the trait and provides essential tools for thriving in an overstimulating world.

The Highly Sensitive Person’s Survival Guide by Ted Zeff
A practical, hands-on book loaded with specific skills — such as grounding techniques and lifestyle adjustments — to help you navigate daily stress and find peace.

The Handbook for Highly Sensitive People by Mel Collins
Written from a fellow HSP’s perspective, this approachable guide offers actionable strategies for managing overarousal and shifting towards greater self-love and acceptance.

Photo Credit: Unsplash

8 Things Survivors Need to Stop Apologizing For | Part 7 | Prioritizing Your Peace

Rachel Grant — Mon, 31 Aug 2026 10:00:00 +0000

Protecting your peace is not selfish. It’s wisdom your nervous system earned the hard way.

What helps you protect your peace?

Photo Credit: Unsplash

8 Things Survivors Need to Stop Apologizing For | Part 6 | Taking Up Space

Rachel Grant — Thu, 27 Aug 2026 10:00:00 +0000

So many survivors learned how to become small. Healing often includes returning to visibility.

Where are you practicing taking up more space?

Click Here to watch video (opens in new tab)

Photo Credit: Unsplash