Quiet Inscape

Of you and others of you… The persistence that runs deep within you is often not able to be seen by those who surround you, and by now there probably aren’t many who do surround you.

The quiet isolation of your life as time goes by and the days mesh and interweave to create your reality as best as you can see it, view it, and feel it.

They can keep underestimating your strength to surrender and the strength to fail over and over if it means staying around in whatever capacity that will be. It is easy to be alone; so many people can go it alone and have seemingly everything and even seemingly wonderful relationships of all various kinds. Is it authentic? Who really knows.

A willingness to accept people where they are is fundamental and necessary, and it’s missing from a great many people; that is why you hide, and that is why the few people around you are cautious too.

You are different, and you don’t need to justify that to anyone. As long as you are not intentionally going around hurting people, then you walk your path as you wish. People misunderstand you, and that’s OK. People are hard to understand, let alone put the right words to a situation where your body feels one thing and your mind is rationalizing their behaviors whilst probably questioning your own all at the same time.

I’d rather accept injustice than be unjust. I would rather accept pain and suffering than be arrogant and ignorant. To survive and to be alive are different, and maybe because you have never really been able to come out of survival, things are not what they seem; your body’s perspective is different from your mind’s. That’s OK too; it’s all proportional to your pain and suffering that no one ever saw, and well, if they did, you are here reading this; so, it’s unlikely it was acknowledged and worked through.

Establishing trust after betrayals is an arduous task and takes perseverance, something people in survival mode usually understand. However, different brain stems will take those survival instincts and use them differently in this world. If you do no harm, do not expect all others to view this world the same as you. For some, you are the perfect prey, the perfect light, the perfect societal scapegoat, or simply useful, yet made to feel a burden or a blessing, all time dependent on their needs and wants.

Does this mean that your life and your world is insignificant, no, for inner rivers run deep and the movement of your energy, soul will vibrate through this world in quite a different way. Call it what you will, but all we do here will have lasting ripple effects in the energetic fields of this planet and beyond. Just as water flows, freezes, cracks, rains, pours etc we are human and we are at the mercy of something much greater than us and what legacy can you leave, well does it matter really? Your life speaks for itself and will be written on the winds, in the ocean; your very bones will be of this earth.

Keep your inner light; keep the people you love dear, even if they don’t seem to hold you dear or show it; and radically accept the circumstances of your life. Some will try to tell you that it is completely your doing, the bad in your life, especially if it makes them feel uncomfortable. Some will want to take what is yours, some will steal from you, some will mar, and some will bless. It’s all part of the sum of human happiness, and all the bad in your life is simply not possible to be all your own fault. Nor can others’ reactions be your fault either. It’s an excuse for someone to blame you for their reaction, especially if you are to be held to account for your own consistently, if not constantly.

Let inner strength flow through, you cannot control how another treats you, speak of you, what you can do is be you.

You can own your own mistakes as best you can, and you can change all you like; that will be good enough for others to walk beside you. Yet if others point out all your wrongdoings whilst actively not following through on any promise to you or doing what they said they will do, that is not a reflection of you. That is a choice they are making. Actively making every day of their life, every breath that they take, every excuse they make, and every time they try to pass blame.

You are allowed to grieve the loss of a life you once had or never had. You are allowed to be sad and blue, in your own time for healing, but make sure it is transient by nature. Always stand back up and get out there and get what it is that you need to do done. No excuses; just do what you can each day. Love will be all-encompassing; anyone who professes to love you will stand by you. They will not keep you on the outside; if that is the case, then accept that and let them be. Any emotional reaction that occurs towards that person will be viewed differently by you, so watch and wait and breathe. You are worthy of respect, you are worthy of basic care, and you are worthy of affection, a cuddle, a hug, a goodnight, an I’m sorry and everything in between. Do not dismay if you are discarded, for all are discarded; you are no different. Their time will come.

Think of the beauty in the world, your favorite things; they may be animals, the beach, the wind on your skin, whatever it may be. Then sit with that; even if you don’t pursue it, just think of those things.

You have enough inner strength to sit in quiet reflection and simply observe for a little while rather than doing and trying to be.

The quiet beauty in the world is that many underestimate you, as do you yourself.

There is a quiet knowing underneath…….. so just breath for a little while and it will all flow with a quiet stir from inner inscape once again.

Gemma Sky

Photo Credit: Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: This guest post is for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing shared here, across CPTSDfoundation.org, any CPTSD Foundation website, our associated communities, or our Social Media accounts, is intended to substitute for or supersede the professional advice and direction of your medical or mental health providers. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the guest author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CPTSD Foundation. For further details, please review the following: Terms of Service, Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer