The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy, warmth, and festivities. However, for many of us, especially those who have experienced complex trauma, this time of year can be a rollercoaster of emotions, stressors, and challenges. Let’s take a moment to acknowledge the elephant in the room: the holidays can be hard. Really hard. We can lean into the holidays and emerge with a plan that’s not only effective but infused with compassion and empowerment.
- Embrace the Imperfection of it All: You know those holiday social media posts that showcase perfectly decorated homes and families in matching outfits? Well, don’t believe the hype of “Facebook happy” because everyone has some tension and conflict. Whether it’s untangling holiday lights or surviving a family dinner with awkward moments. The truth is, life is messy, and the holidays are no exception. So, let’s take a deep breath together, gently adjust our expectations, and compassionately embrace the imperfections. Acknowledging the hardships that trauma can bring to this season, recognizing and honoring our unique stories contribute to the true beauty of the holidays, found in the authentic and imperfect moments we share.
- Set Boundaries Like a Pro: The holiday season often comes with a generous side of social obligations, family gatherings, and well-meaning invitations. While it’s tempting to say yes to everything, remember that boundaries are your best friend. Politely decline those events that drain your energy and leave you feeling overwhelmed. Your well-being comes first, and saying no is not a crime—it’s an act of self-preservation. So, channel your inner boundary-setting ninja and give yourself the gift of a stress-free holiday season. You are deserving and worthy of ease.
- Create Your Own Traditions: Who says you have to stick to the conventional holiday script? If the idea of attending a bustling family dinner or navigating crowded shopping malls contributes to stress and anxiety, it’s time to rewrite the rules. Create your own traditions that align with your comfort and joy. Whether it’s a solo movie night with your favorite comfort food or a quiet day spent in nature, the holidays are an opportunity to celebrate in a way that nourishes your soul. After all, you’re the author of your story, and it’s perfectly okay to stray from the traditional narrative.
- Prioritize Self-Care (No, Seriously): In the whirlwind of holiday chaos, it’s easy to neglect the most important person in the room—you. Amidst the gift wrapping, meal planning, and festive gatherings, don’t forget to prioritize self-care like your life depends on it—because it does. Whether it’s a cozy evening with a good book, a walk in a quiet spot, or simply taking a moment to breathe, make self-care a non-negotiable part of your holiday agenda. You’re not being selfish; you’re practicing survival in style.
As we navigate the unpredictable terrain of the holiday season, let’s remember that it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions. Trauma survivors have weathered storms before and you have the resilience to face whatever the holidays throw your way. So, wrap yourself in the warmth of self-compassion and navigate this season with the courage and grace that define your journey. The CPTSD Foundation offers incredible daily support. Cheers to thriving and embracing the beautifully imperfect tapestry of our lives.
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I am Erena, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Health Coach, and trauma advocate based in New York. I am the founder of a group practice that specializes in working with clients who have anxiety and complex trauma.
As a New York State approved Continuing Education Provider for Social Workers, I am committed to ongoing education and staying up-to-date with the latest research in my field. In addition to treating clients in my practice, I supervise dozens of clinicians and coaches from diverse backgrounds. I have been featured in Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, Psychology Today, Reader’s Digest, Women’s Health, and MEL magazine. I am a proud member of the CPTSD Foundation Advisory Board.
