WHAT IS THE POINT?
By Jesse Donahue © 2023
Love, the theme of many songs and found in the words of poets, theologians, and philosophers alike, is too often hidden from man by his experienced and internalized traumas
Consciousness is the ‘point’ of the Universe. Without consciousness or awareness, the universe would be dead (non-existent?) and, indeed, pointless. Eternal existence would be the nothingness that is debated among the disciplines throughout time.
Consciousness lives within humankind as both a torture and a gift. Although lost and suppressed by most throughout history, it is the challenge and destiny of human life to reach toward the pinnacle of love as part of nature. “Not residing in humankind,” but an energy in the atmosphere of our living presence. Most creatures share it in bonding.
Love, the theme of many songs and found in the words of poets, theologians, and philosophers alike, is too often hidden from man by his experienced and internalized traumas. Fear diminishes the expression of emotion, and for some, even the ability to love. Living and viewing life through the lens of personal traumas constricts and dysregulates the smooth flow of feelings – the very nature of who we are. It is the nature of our inner and outer environment – the pulsing life of the natural world is to love, as a means toward fulfillment, as well as survival.
Find love, and your wishes will be answered. All you need is love. Love, love, love – we hear it all the time – just be yourself. Yet it is fear and internalized trauma deeply instilled in us that severs the bridge of love. Through the lens of our experiences of life, we are indoctrinated by trauma to a world of fear, mistrust, and psychic, physical, and social pain. Am I alone here?
What is love?! If I am emotionally shut down, fearful of the open, authentic expression of the moment, love is blocked from surfacing. I am conscious, but my emotions are stifled. Love is distorted because I have experienced too much pain, shame, and guilt to find love’s expression. Love – it is a mission for each of us to seek, develop, and begin to feel and live. It is our journey, our destination in this life; love is the experience that we all seek. It is the answer to life’s questions—our destination.
Look within to see the consciousness that lights the world. If you are lucky, given a life that has been deadened and culturally traumatized, love may one day knock at your door. Keep your eyes open and your heart full toward others, nature, consciousness, life, and yourself. Live the journey to the destination. The awakening, as it has been professed through the ages by mystics and peasants alike, is to love thy neighbor. The bold, destructive ones in life are deeply damaged brothers and sisters. Love has been blocked for them, allowing only anger, spite, and hate. Strive to love them.
Learn to love again, to awaken to the vision of consciousness as an eternal state of meaning, a state of grace that pulses with love.
Learn to love again, to awaken to the vision of consciousness as an eternal state of meaning, a state of grace that pulses with love. Understand that for many of us, our vision of consciousness and our experiential sense of love have been shattered. We are blinded in sight, numb in our feelings, and live with a diminished experience of love. All you need is love. Learn to love. It is our goal’s course; our journey back to the home we once lived in, or to a new home we have yet to discover. Take back your life and find love. A new mission, looking within and becoming aware of the inner troubles that block the light of love. Stop the destructiveness. Answer your inner calling to return home or to build the new home that is calling to you. Find yourself! Give up the inner battle of acting out your pain and confusion upon others; The dissociation from who you truly are. Give up the mirage that we once thought was our life, our false and deeply wounded self, our damaged inner child.
We have vision in this life, yet we appear blind. We think we see the world as it is. Yet life is an onion that needs to be peeled back repeatedly through time to find the heart of who we are, who we want to be, and from where and why we exist. There is no answer other than we are here, and consciousness presents a state of meaning and purpose. There is love. Look for it. All you need is love. Find it! And if you live it, embrace it more deeply, teaching others your gift by showing them the depth of your empathy and compassion. If you do not live it, you have a journey toward which to strive. Stop seeking things, gadgets, and toys. Your journey has begun. Looking inward, not outward, for the passion of possessing things. “Things” are dead, as would be the universe without consciousness. Reach toward an inner broadening of personal vision, a perspective of what is essential in life! Things are not of any worth when love is missing. In the moment, that inner ache and emptiness is fed and fulfilled by human contact and authentic emotional joining with another.
Nothing of material substance can fix a broken soul that is separated from love.
Photo by Jens Lelie on Unsplash
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*Copyright notice. All writings copyrighted and registered with the Library of Congress.
Therapy has helped improve my self-understanding as well as writing skills through journaling and essays. Although this writing journey began in later years, it has led to 70+ essays oriented around issues with CPTSD – a trauma disorder.
My writings, which include therapy notes, poems, novels (unpublished), and essays, are all a part of my ongoing personal therapy. Initially, the essays, intended for my therapist’s eyes only, began with exposing my thoughts, fears, and feelings, or the lack of, onto paper, a journal of therapy notes. Then, with fear overcome and via a personal decision, I shared them with the readers. *My thanks to Paul Michael Marinello, the editor of the CPTSD Foundation. My intent is to encourage readers to recognize traits in themselves and find (if desired) a therapist when they are willing and ready for that step. For some of us, it can be a long and challenging process, over extensive periods, to awaken to the unconscious issues that cause us to act out in life. Our behavior may seem like dancing to a buried, invisible cause we cannot directly see or confront. It is my sincere hope that my insights will assist the reader in the process toward reaching a deeper self-understanding.
Bringing the unconscious out into the light of self-awareness, understanding, and acceptance fosters self-love and the process of change.
Jesse B. Donahue
*Type a keyword into the foundations search engine. (Jesse, Heart, Personal, Twelve, Bugaboo, etc.) Or, Type Jesse Donahue at The CPTSD Foundation on a Google search.
Published with the CPTSD foundation. Top 10 essays in order of number of views:
- The Smoldering Embers of C-PTSD
- The Heart of the Matter
- Learned Helplessness
- Personal Honor, Integrity, Dignity, Honesty
- Twelve Days Without Coffee
- The Hidden Bugaboo
- Cast Out of Eden by Toxic Shame
- Codependency – Overriding the Monster of Self-Hate
- The Emptiness of Yesterday
- Surfing the Light Through the Darkness
