The skies have turned gray,
Rain’s starting to fall.
Once upon a time, my life was clear.
Now a fog’s settled over it all.
Stumbling in the dark,
I catch glimpses of my destination.
But as I step a little closer,
I see it was an illusion.
The rolling mist envelops all my plans,
All my decisions.
I can’t find my future,
even though I make each move with precision.
Where am I to go, what am I to do?
I call out to my friends and passersby,
But they can’t see me either.
They can only listen to my cries.
I inch ahead slowly, afraid and unsure.
I can’t turn back now, my dreams are a lure.
“Keep trying,” they whisper…
“Keep believing in me.”
My doubts scream louder,
“What if it’s not meant to be?”
But deep in my heart, I feel my courage
Getting stronger each day.
Then God takes my hand
And He leads the way.
Taking the Plunge
Do you ever feel like you are standing on the edge of a tall, tall cliff
Leaning out into nothing?
Tottering on the brink, wanting to take the risk?
Wanting to break free, diving in headfirst.
Free falling into oblivion, getting caught in a tailspin,
Sailing on the current like a sailboat on the open sea,
With snow-white billowy sails fluttering.
You catch your breath and throw all caution to the wind.
You feel the gusts carry you far away from where you were before,
Where you’ve ever been, where you ever thought you’d go.
The rush takes over your being, enveloping you in pure adrenaline,
Sending tingles down your spine and chill bumps down your arms.
Is this for real?
Can this euphoria have come about from a single, gutsy jump?
These changes everywhere have taken place because of your ambition.
A dream is now a reality.
The world is now your playground.
Your former insecurities are but a fading shadow on the ground.
Your purpose is clear now.
How would life have turned out, you think,
If you had hesitated a step along the way?
And then, you open up your eyes.
Your shoe loosens a pebble that falls and falls
Down the mountainside and disappears below
As the waves crash against the jagged rocks at the bottom of the cliff.
Then your thoughts turn back to the decision ahead of you
And the ever-burning question…
Should I just take the plunge?
Hello. My name is Kaylene. I was diagnosed with Complex PTSD as a result of child abuse. I have written a memoir called When the Mirror Shatters, which is available on Amazon.com. I was also interviewed on the Life’s Valleys and Mountaintops podcast (episode titled “From Diagnosis to Dreaming Again”). I write poetry and songs that I hope will inspire you on your healing journey.