Equality

I am writing this piece to bring awareness to the equal severity that the impact of childhood emotional abuse has on an individual’s adulthood, to that of other types of abuse. Perhaps you have noticed, the same as I, that emotional abuse appears to be considered as less serious than physical, sexual, financial, etc.? People seem to underestimate the damage that particular words, volume, and tone of voice are capable of over time. Children are intrinsically malleable and it is vital that they grow in an environment where they are respected, cared for, have their needs met, and are loved. Words are weapons that have the capacity to leave bruises on the soul which remain for decades.

Roots

Many adults with inept emotional intelligence and unresolved trauma of their own, go on to have children. Oftentimes it may be that these individuals look to the idea of having children as the answer to their own long-term lack of satisfaction and happiness in life. I am a result of a situation akin to this. Born to a narcissistic alcohol-dependent mother and emotionally unavailable father, I spent my childhood and early adulthood bearing the brunt of anger, depression, and self-neglect from a mother who hadn’t given herself the time and attention to find peace with her own tumultuous childhood before creating another. My mother was emotionally abused as a child by her mother and would vocalise that she had aimed to break that chain in the bringing up of me and my sibling. In practice, this was not the case. Later I learn during therapy that my father ‘enabled’ this situation via his lack of intervention or confrontation with my mother in order to enact change.

Experience

Shouting, swearing, insulting, slamming doors, dangerous driving, smoking, unpredictability, absence, drunkenness, smashing inanimate objects. I am sure there are so many reading who can identify with growing up in the vicinity of this behaviour. It’s terrifying and has left me with a thus far lifelong baseline level of clinically high anxiety.

Effects

Emotionally abusive wounds run deep and here are a couple of findings detailing how these experiences may go on to affect a childhood emotional abuse victim in their adult life:

• Alterations in stress responsivity that contribute to vulnerability to stress, depression, and anxiety.
• Negative opinion of self (shameful, flawed, unlovable), and others (untrustworthy, uncaring, potentially abusive). This can lead to difficulty forming relationships in later life.
• Within marriage, men can experience paranoia, while women can have difficulty regulating negative mood and temper.

Wright PhD (2007)

• Emotional regulation difficulties.

Burns et al. (2010)

• Diminished cortisol response.

Carpenter et al. (2009)

There is a wealth of information out there regarding the long-term effects of emotional abuse and this article aimed to provide simply an introduction to the topic.

Community

What further would you like to know?

Are you motivated to read more into the literature surrounding the long-term effects?

For me I find it validating to research on this topic. It also reassures me to know that some of the difficulties that I have worked on throughout life and not overcome, are not my fault and there is only so much I can do before I hit walls comprised of baked-in programming that occurred in my youth. Having said that, there is an abundance of work being done constantly all over the world on the effects of trauma and how the effects can be mediated and to some extent healed from as an adult.

I would love to explore some of these approaches in further articles with you too.

Until then, keep reading, be kind to yourself.. and breathe.

Catherine Russell

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References

Burns E.E, Jackson J.L., & Harding H.G. (2010) Child Maltreatment, Emotion Regulation, and Posttraumatic Stress: The Impact of Emotional Abuse, 19:8.

Carpenter L.L., Tyrka A.R., Ross N.S., Khoury L., Anderson G.M., & Price L.H. (2009) Effect of Childhood Abuse and Age on Cortisol Responsivity in Adulthood, 66:1.

Margaret O’Dougherty Wright PhD (2007) The Long-Term Impact of Emotional Abuse in Childhood, Journal of Emotional Abuse, 7:2, 1-8, DOI: 10.1300/J135v07n02_01

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Catherine

Catherine is a UK Senior Assistant Psychologist working with Neurodiverse clients in the field of Social Justice.