I want to visit an older concept that relates to trauma in this blog. Intersubjectivity is a theory developed by Daniel Stern-a prominent American Psychiatrist and Psychoanalytic theorist in infant development. Stern wrote several seminal books that positively contributed to the psychology and mental health field. One of these books is The Interpersonal World of the Infant. (1) Stern explains that intersubjectivity is a theory of the infant’s mind at the beginning of the transition to symbolic intelligence. At this stage for an infant, she begins to point to objects, begin to use words, and have the intention to communicate. Additionally, the infant begins to focus her attention on toys and caregivers. In Stern’s view, this discovery for an infant is transformative; a new subjective perspective has emerged for her. This new reality can be aligned with that of another to become, in Stern’s words, “inter-subjective.” (2) For an infant, connecting with another’s eyes to confirm she is safe creates an effect that lasts a lifetime. Eyes and cues of safety are difficult to identify through a lens marred by trauma. Stern through his writings invites us into the precious world of an infant.
A shared experience of safety begins in infancy. An infant has the capacity to recognize the quality of another’s inner feeling state. The relationship continues to evolve between the infant and her infant. Involuntarily, the infant is aware of how to evolve with her parent; the infant and her parent can “feel-what-has-been-perceived-in-the-other.” (3) Gaze is a term that some infant researchers refer to when they speak about the focus an infant has on the eyes of her parent. Gaze is” seeing” your parent without concerns of safety or abandonment. The focus from the infant’s eyes to her parent is held for minutes. However, the quality of this experience for the infant allows the infant to feel as though the gaze lasts days. Comfort and being in “close contact”, as Bowlby puts it (4) are necessary to ensure the brain of an infant develops to connect to one another – necessity to thrive as a human.
To feel what others feel begins in infancy. Stern suggests that not until 9-12 months can “true” intersubjectivity be said to exist. Further, Alan Schore-a leading researcher in the infant brain development field-tells us that a brain’s health from 0-to 24 months is contingent on the nurture that is provided by her caregiver. The brain is “experience-dependent” for up to 24 months or so. Genes and gene expression (I will cover this topic in greater detail in a forthcoming paper) are altered as well around this stage by environmental stressors, e.g., yelling at home, a caregiver with access to stress hormones, etc. To “feel warmth” is a necessary factor to live rather than just exist.
An infant focuses on the caregiver when they feel safe. The attention is given back to the infant by the caregiver when she can self-regulate. Attention and focus can be mirrored by the infant. Joint attention aids the infant to become attuned to the caregiver. Bruner5 created a study where infants were enticed by interesting toys to cross a glass table that was made to look like a “visual cliff.” The infants hesitated, looking back to the caregiver, and crossed only if the caregiver’s face indicated it was safe to do so. The major take-a-away from this study is that an infant goes to a great length to make sure the focus and attention are on the caregiver. Trusting another person is vital to our health. Trauma erases trust and the ability to trust others.
A person’s biology impacted by trauma creates incredible challenges for her to feel anything. Steven Porges-influential thinker and discoverer of Polyvagal Theory, suggests this behavior is when a person falls into a state of immobilization. This behavior requires a “massive shutting down of autonomic function via a vagal pathway within the parasympathetic nervous system.”6 As an infant grows up, the state of immobilization can be a way they communicate with a caregiver, friend, or perhaps a future spouse. Although an infant is communicating in this unhealthy way, most people that come in touch with these individuals that are dysregulated perceive them as “withdrawn”, “insensitive”, “too sensitive”, or maybe even “not an emotional person.”
In summary,
- Feeling what you feel is modeled for your infancy.
- Cues of safety are understood, through your physiology, as early as infancy.
- Identifying urges and cravings to “feel” would not be possible because of trauma.
- Hypervigilance and freeze responses (bradycardia occurring due to vagal inhibition impacting heart rate variability) are normal when someone “presents” cues of safety to you, e.g., eye gaze, low-frequency tone inflection, and pauses between speech acts.
In Porges, S. W., & In Dana, D. (2018). Clinical applications of the polyvagal theory: The emergence of polyvagal-informed therapies.
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Clinical Complex Trauma Specialist (CCTS-1),
Certified Dialectical Behavioral Therapist (C-DBT),
Certified Alcohol & Drug Abuse Counseling (CADC)
