We live in constant fear that our jobs are not safe, and our Key Performance Indicators (KPIs) continue to rise to match the continuous rise in the cost of … well everything! Yet our pay stays the same. How many of you feel any of the below, honestly?

• Sense of failure and self-doubt
• Feeling helpless, trapped, and defeated
• Detachment, feeling alone in the world
• Loss of motivation
• Increasingly cynical and negative outlook
• Decreased satisfaction and sense of accomplishment
• Headaches, migraines, skin problems or general lowered immune system
• Lack of sleep, difficulty getting to sleep, insomnia
• Irritability and mood swings
• Difficulty concentrating and a reduction in efficiency
• Running late when you never used to or being forgetful

Even just three of these mean you are potentially suffering from burnout. A certain amount of stress can be energising, an urgent deadline can sharpen your concentration and push you to keep on going. Too much stress, however, especially over long periods of time, has the opposite effect.

When we reach that burnt-out stage, usually with a tremendous amount of urging and validation from others, we might take some time off sick. Usually, it will come down to the GP signing you off sick for stress, depression, and/or anxiety. When we have been signed off, how many of us truly feel we have the right to be at home recouping? Personally, I know I don’t. Goodness, why do we feel the need to let it get to a diagnosis stage before we act?!

I have taken time out to recoup before, and I have felt so damn guilty about it that I have gone back to work when I was in a terrible headspace. Instead of using the time my GP had validated I needed, I sat there terrified my handover wasn’t good enough or whether my clients were being taken good care of. What if I had made a mistake and someone else has to pick it up and deal with it? Would I even have a job to go back to?

I was signed off because I was stressed, but not being at work was making me more stressed! So incredibly counter-intuitive is it not? I sat trying to unwind, but instead of actually succeeding at this, I was worrying incessantly about how my being off would affect my team, my clients, my students, and my standing with the boss. I’m a hard worker, known as a person who digs deep and shows real grit and resilience. Yet, instead of focusing on my health, I worried if this spin would undo the good reputation I had built for myself over the last several years. Would I go back to work and be seen as a flakey or an unreliable team member?

It’s bananas. We are raised, taught, and shown that self-care is selfish and boundaries are not fair to other people. We are worked into the ground and told to keep grinding no matter the cost to our health or relationships. Taking time off for ourselves makes us an unreliable colleague, unfit to carry out the thousand and one duties of our role, one of those colleagues.

To Hell With That

We have, on average, 4000 weeks on this planet as human beings. It’s time to look at utilising those 4000 weeks as best we can. We can’t do everything, nor should we waste time worrying about what may come around or what has already happened. Find your inner stillness and sit with it. Figure out what brings you joy, what empowers you, what fires you up with passion, and gets you excited. Who do you want to be? What inspires you? How do you want to give back? Then start practicing that.

Stop resisting paying full attention to the way things are now because you wish they were going differently

Stop resisting paying full attention to the way things are now because you wish they were going differently. Sit with your core self in that stillness, look at what is happening for NOW, and figure out what you want to do with the rest of those 4,000 weeks.

Absolutely none of the answers are going to be checking your emails or working in the evenings. The answers aren’t going to be about meeting ridonkulous KPIs or missing your lunch break for the 3rd time that particular week. Screw so-called expectations. To hell with employers who won’t value you, promote you, or protect your well-being. If your workplace, the culture, and the duties are not serving your mental or physical health, then it’s time for a change.

However many weeks into this life you are, they are what they are. The good, bad, and the ugly. Those weeks have made you who are today, but that doesn’t mean they have to define you if you don’t want them to. Who you were yesterday, your behavioural patterns, the you that showed up to face the day yesterday, does not have to be who you are today. If you don’t want to be burnt out, running yourself ragged to meet deadlines, breaking yourself, and sacrificing your health for a job that doesn’t fill you full of joy and fulfillment … then show up tomorrow with a renewed sense of “this is what I want” and if your employer doesn’t like it, then walk away. If you can’t do that, then take time out regularly until you can move on, and sure as shit do not feel guilty about putting in boundaries. If your workload cannot be done within your core hours then your workload is too high. People who get angry when you put in boundaries are always the people who benefit from violating your boundaries.

Don’t give anyone or anything that does not make you happy, bring you fulfillment, excite, or inspire you any of your precious time on this earth.

You matter. Your wants matter. Your life, what you need, your happiness matter. Fight for it.