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For trauma survivors, the battle with the inner critic can be particularly challenging
Those harsh, self-condemning voices from the past can linger in our minds. Whose voice is it anyway? The echoes of the inner critic can often be traced back to the traumatic events. It may be the voice of an abusive parent, a neglectful caregiver, or someone else whose actions contributed to the trauma. These voices may have become internalized during the traumatic experience(s), serving as a distorted reflection. The inner critic can also be fueled by societal expectations, cultural norms, or external judgments that the survivor has internalized. The pressure to conform to certain standards or expectations may contribute to a negative self-image, amplifying the critical voices within. I see you and acknowledge the courage it takes to confront these challenges. I want this blog to serve as a reminder that you are worthy and deserving to reclaim your sense of self-worth.
We will explore three tips to help confront and manage the inner critic, fostering self-compassion and aiding in the journey toward recovery.
Tip 1: Self-Compassion Is Your Friend: The first step in taming your inner critic is to embrace self-compassion. It’s crucial to understand that the negative thoughts and self-blame are not your fault. They are remnants of the trauma you’ve endured. Practice treating yourself with the kindness and understanding you’d offer to a close friend or a small child. Self-compassion involves acknowledging your pain without judgment and reassuring yourself that it’s okay to feel the way you do. You are not alone in this struggle; self-compassion can be your most powerful ally in silencing the inner critic.
Here is a tip for practicing and incorporating more self-compassionate self-talk: When negative thoughts arise, consciously pause and ask yourself: “What would I say to a friend in this situation?” Imagine the supportive and understanding words you would offer to someone you care about. Then, turn those compassionate words inward and speak to yourself with the same kindness. For example, if you catch yourself engaging in self-blame or harsh self-criticism, pause and say to yourself, “I know this is difficult, and it’s okay to feel this way. You’re doing your best, and I’m here for you.”
Tip 2: Mindfulness and Awareness: Mindfulness is another tool in the fight against the inner critic. Mindfulness simply means paying attention, being present in the moment, and observing your thoughts without judgment. When your inner critic raises its voice, take a step back and mindfully observe these negative thoughts as if they were passing clouds in the sky. By doing so, you can create space between yourself and your inner critic, making it easier to recognize when it’s at play.
Cultivating self-awareness is a significant aspect of this tip
Cultivating self-awareness is a significant aspect of this tip. Reflect on your triggers and patterns that provoke your inner critic. Awareness of what activates those critical voices can empower you to interrupt the cycle and respond with self-compassion instead.
Daily Mindful Activities: Infuse mindfulness into your daily routine by engaging fully in simple activities. Whether it’s washing dishes, walking, or eating a meal, focus on the sensations, sounds, and sights around you. I practice my mindful pause when I brush my teeth. This can anchor you in the present moment, making it easier to recognize and diffuse the influence of the inner critic.
Tip 3: Challenge Negative Thoughts: One powerful technique for managing your inner critic is to actively challenge negative thoughts. When the inner critic shows up, question the validity of those thoughts. Ask yourself if they are based on facts or if they are distorted perceptions influenced by your trauma. Counteract them with affirmations or neutral/positive statements about yourself. For example, if your inner critic says, “I’m worthless,” remind yourself of your strengths, achievements, and the love and support you receive from others. By actively disputing and getting curious about negative self-talk, you can weaken the grip of your inner critic. Remember, it is a humble practice.
Conclusion: Taming your inner critic as a trauma survivor is a courageous step on the path to healing. By practicing these tips, you can gradually quiet the harsh voices of the past and nurture a kinder, more compassionate inner dialogue. Your healing process is unique, and these strategies can help you move toward a place of greater self-acceptance and inner peace.
Call to Action:
As you embark on your journey to tame the inner critic and reclaim your sense of self-worth, I invite you to take a moment for reflection. Consider how these tips resonate with your own experiences, and recognize the strength it takes to confront the past.
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Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash
I am Erena, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Health Coach, and trauma advocate based in New York. I am the founder of a group practice that specializes in working with clients who have anxiety and complex trauma.
As a New York State approved Continuing Education Provider for Social Workers, I am committed to ongoing education and staying up-to-date with the latest research in my field. In addition to treating clients in my practice, I supervise dozens of clinicians and coaches from diverse backgrounds. I have been featured in Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, Psychology Today, Reader’s Digest, Women’s Health, and MEL magazine. I am a proud member of the CPTSD Foundation Advisory Board.
