How Finding the Right Therapist Was The Best Thing I did.

Hey there. How are you doing today? Are you enjoying the weekend?

In this article, I’m going to share with you how getting the right therapist was the best thing I did for myself.

I am not ashamed to admit that I needed therapy to help me process and deal with my childhood trauma. I spent years searching for the right therapist.

In today’s world, many people hold the title of therapist, but their skill sets can differ like night and day. Don’t be ashamed to ask for credentials and experience before you sign up with a professional therapist.

Trust me, I’ve been through many so-called professionals and discovered that not everyone deserves the title they have on paper. In my opinion, these are the qualities I look for in a therapist:

• A good trauma therapist should be able to guide and support you.
• Be able to listen without interrupting.
• Hear what you have to say and act on it.
• They should understand when you have reached your limits and not press on.
• Your health and well-being should be their concern.
• They should have the vision to stop if they feel overwhelmed.
• Have empathy and see how hard it is for you to share deeply emotional memories.
• Confidentiality — what you say stays in the room.
• Good communication skills.
• Give you something back in your sessions to work on until the next one.

My new therapist opened my eyes to my reality as a trauma survivor. She made me recognize the hurt and pain I was living with every day. She also saw how much I had tried to cope with my past on my own.

Through therapy, I began to see myself in a different light than I used to. I was made aware of how much I suffered during my childhood, and that the abuse was not my fault.

Most important of all, my therapist made me see that I had to start to take care of myself. This was not easy because I had to make conscious decisions to put myself first. I was given “homework” like a school kid, and then every step forward was celebrated, no matter how small.

It took me years, but our healing journeys are not a race to the finish line. They’re more of a hike with mountains and valleys in your way.

The healing journey will take as long as it needs to, but believe me, you will get there eventually.

Why hire a therapist at all?

Taking stock and recognizing the trauma that you have endured is a huge milestone for survivors. It is also painful to do. A good therapist can help you through this process.

My trauma was dealt with in such a way that my brain could process it, for what it was. With my therapist’s help, I made sense of what had happened in my triggers and why I was reacting the way I did.

My therapist guided me through the trauma slowly at my own pace, and I realized that this was my body telling me that it was time. It was time I put the demons at rest, and move away from the past.

A good therapist will be able to guide and support you through this process. It is worth the time and effort to do it with a professional because they will know when to stop and when it is time to push on.

Learning to recognize and process a traumatic memory always feels out of reach at first. It’s way too much to handle on your own. It’s a bit like the childhood riddle: How does a mouse eat an elephant? The answer is: in small bites. If you think of it this way, suddenly the situation is a lot more positive. Instead of telling yourself, “I can’t do this,” tell yourself, “Yes, I can do this,” and “I’ve got it.”

From Darkness to Light: My Experience

My most painful trigger came out of the blue after watching the “Fifty Shades of Grey” movie a few years back. I was with my friends, and we were curious about the movie everyone was talking about at the time. I felt odd after seeing the movie when a flash of darkness hit me, like a developing migraine. For days after, I had the same vision of darkness, where I saw more and more flashes of things I had buried deep within. They were so terrifying that I wanted to run away from my own head. I didn’t know what they meant, and I was in denial that I could have witnessed such things as a child. I couldn’t understand the visual of “The Red Room” from “Fifty Shades” in my own life. I saw it through the eyes of my four-year-old self, a different red room with people in it who were familiar. It was a sex warehouse full of items, the same as those in the movie: whips, handcuffs, rope, and different types of sex toys. The people in the room were using them on each other and on me. Those “tools” have haunted my unconscious mind for decades, deeply embedded in my brain.

My therapist was brilliant at guiding me through the horrific trauma memories that were raw and childlike. I was guided to expose those memories and go back to the child I was, turning everything I knew and narrating the triggers into a comprehensible trauma memory.

I was able to understand what had happened to me from an adult point of view. I replaced the childhood trauma memory with a mature understanding of what had happened to me.

Rewriting my horrific trauma memories in this way was life-changing for me. As traumatizing as my memories were, I could now move on. I accepted that it was my own past, and that it was not my fault. There was nothing I could have done at the time to get away from my abusers. I couldn’t stop the murders that I witnessed because I was a child. I was able to think about my past without falling apart. My memories are still painful, but they do not hurt me as much anymore. I have moved on because I understand them.

By looking back and rewriting the most horrific trauma memories with new narratives, I exposed the pain and hurt. The triggers were hurting me deeply, but after therapy, those same traumatic triggers are simply my past.

Even though the triggers were from the most terrifying time of my life, those same triggers were processed into a narrative that I could comprehend. By understanding what had happened to me through therapy, at my own pace, I turned this huge negative piece of me into something real.

I was no longer scared. The nightmares subsided, and the flashbacks slowed down. I could talk about it, and it was a huge relief to do just that. I was devouring my “trauma elephant” piece by piece.

My name is Lizzy, and I’m a mom, teacher, author, and mental health blogger. I write for those who don’t always feel that they

have a voice. For more about me, my books, and articles, check out my website: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Support my writing, and buy me a coffee.

https://ko-fi.com/elizabe69245484here

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

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Elizabeth Woods

For more about me: https://www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Elizabeth Woods grew up in a world of brutal sex offenders, murderers, and inconceivably neglectful adults. Elizabeth is passionate about spreading awareness of what it is like to survive after trauma. She is the author of several books and has written her memoir, telling her childhood story: The Sex-Offender’s Daughter: A True Story of Survival Against All Odds, available on Amazon Kindle and paperback.

Elizabeth is also the author of “Living with Complex PTSD” and the Cedar’s Port Fiction series: “Saving Joshua”, “Protecting Sarah”, “Guarding Noah” and “Bringing Back Faith,” and “Restoring Hope,” available here: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0BCBZQN7L/allbooks?ingress=0&visitId=7e223b5b-1a29-45f0-ad9d-e9c8fdb59e9c&ref_=ap_rdr&ccs_id=931f96e2-c220-4765-acc8-cc99bb95e8bd