Mental Health Matters
Most of us start the new year with resolutions and new habits for a better future. As the weeks go on and normality kicks in, most of us lose those promises somewhere on the way.
Why is it so hard to keep those New Year’s resolutions?
It’s because we haven’t developed our mental strength to keep ourselves going when normality kicks in. We get caught up in our own busy realities, and those well-meaning goals never become reality.
How can we fix this?
It doesn’t matter that it’s September and most of the year is gone. You can make a big impact by starting today, with quick tips and easy habits, by living life with discipline and purpose to power through even the toughest days.
Here’s what I do:
- Keep your bedroom tidy. Make your bed, pick up your clothes and things off the floor. A tidy living space sets your mind up for the day. You’ve completed a small task already, before you’ve even had your morning coffee.
- Write down something positive about the challenges you will face today. This is helpful because starting the day angry or with any negative feeling sets the day. I enjoy writing lists with encouraging comments like “you’ve got this.”
- Positive Mindfulness while commuting/carpooling/taking the kids to school. Think about something that fills you with happiness or puts you in a good mood, and notice how it sits in your body. It feels good, right?
- Practice saying “No” without explanation. You don’t owe people a reason why you don’t want to do something. A simple “no” should be enough. The more you try to explain why you said no, the less clear your “no” becomes.
- Try and eat clean food without preservatives. (Fresh is best). It has been scientifically proven that what you eat has a direct relation to your mood and your gut health. A healthier digestive system means less time feeling crap and fewer sick days. Try to cook your fresh food and introduce more fruit and vegetables into your diet.
- Make a monthly budget, and make sure to include something fun. It doesn’t have to be expensive. It could be having an aromatherapy bath in some indulgent bubbles from the market. It could be having some free time away from the kids and spending it outdoors. It could be buying those new sneakers or that new shirt for the gym that you’ve been looking at for months. Having a small treat can make such a difference to your life.
- Don’t spend time with people who drain your energy. Spend your time with people who like you and want to be with you. People who love you for who you are and where you can be yourself.
- Try journaling for 5 minutes every day. Take some time out for yourself when it’s quiet. It could be first thing in the morning or when the kids are in bed at night. Write down your hopes and dreams, your worries and celebrations. Anything that is on your mind. This short activity will help you to unload stress and keep your mind clear.
- Don’t use the word “should” in your vocabulary. The word “should” comes with a negative attitude and leaves you feeling that you must do something. It brings judgment and criticism in its wake, which goes against the mental strength that you are building. You don’t need it.
- Avoid people-pleasing. Many of us go above and beyond to help others all the time. I count myself in this category. The fact is, you can’t help everybody. People have to try to help themselves first. You need to be a little selfish in this world and avoid helping people too much because ultimately you are over-ruling your happiness, goals, and what’s best for you by pleasing others.
- Think about your own goals for 10 minutes a day. Take this time to visualize your aspirations and goals. Go over the challenges that you need to overcome in the next few days, weeks, and months. At the same time, plan how you can solve any problems that might be in your way. Feel the result of having achieved your dreams.
- Practice self-care for 20 minutes a day. Taking care of yourself is paramount for a healthy lifestyle. If you don’t start taking care of yourself first, you will eventually run out of energy and not be able to take care of loved ones and others around you. Self-care could be any activity that makes you feel happy in yourself, whether it is some alone time, gym time, or relaxation.
- Enjoy your hobbies. We all have talents and gifts that we enjoy using. Do something that gives you joy and happiness. Something that makes you feel confident and good at. If you play an instrument, play it with purpose and joy. If you love arts, use your talents and have fun doing it. Having confidence in some areas of your life will spill into other aspects of it too.
- Cut the Negative self-talk. Say nice things about yourself. Negative self-talk is detrimental to a positive outlook in life. Embrace the positive and tell yourself these. You will start to feel better within yourself quickly.
- Write down something good about each day. I know, I know some days just aren’t going to be your happiest. There is something good in each day. Try to harness that tiny glimmer and write it down. At the end of your year, you will have at least 365 days’ worth of good experiences that happened to you. Many of these will have led to accomplishments.
- Embrace challenges with a positive attitude. Think about your worries about the challenges that are coming up. Perhaps you have an event to organize, or a meeting with people arriving at your office. Instead of thinking negatively about what’s to come, try to see it as a positive learning opportunity.
- Be your own “best friend.” Think about how you handle situations, especially when things don’t go your way. Instead of criticizing yourself with negative self-talk, ask yourself: “Would I treat my best friend with these kinds of comments?” The answer will almost always be no. Love yourself more than you love other people. You deserve to be shown the same respect as you show others.
- Practice gratitude rather than complaining. I know this one is hard because we have all lost it and complained loudly about how hard XXX is. We all do it, especially when we feel tired and our brains turn to mush as those stress hormones rage. Next time you feel yourself falling into the trap of complaining about something or someone, stop. Notice how it sounds? Now turn it around and say something that you are grateful for instead. Some days it might not be much, but even one small act of gratitude a day can help that positive energy go.
- Sleep at least 8 hours a night. Prioritize sleeping. It is scientifically proven that we do not function as well without a good night’s sleep. When we are cranky, we often make poor decisions and say things we don’t mean. Set yourself a calm-down routine every night before bed so that you feel relaxed and ready for a good night’s sleep.
- Reduce your social media time. Living your life online rather than in the real world can sap your energy. We can feel discontent about our own lives and jealous about how other people live theirs. Cut the time you spend on social media and notice the good connections and accomplishments that are happening to you in your life.
No matter what small habits you decide to change in your life, make them with purpose. We only have one life, and it is precious. Live your life the best way you can, and you will start noticing the difference.
The change starts with you. Are you up for the challenge?
My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.
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For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com
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For more about me: https://www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com
Elizabeth Woods grew up in a world of brutal sex offenders, murderers, and inconceivably neglectful adults. Elizabeth is passionate about spreading awareness of what it is like to survive after trauma. She is the author of several books and has written her memoir, telling her childhood story: The Sex-Offender’s Daughter: A True Story of Survival Against All Odds, available on Amazon Kindle and paperback.
Elizabeth is also the author of “Living with Complex PTSD” and the Cedar’s Port Fiction series: “Saving Joshua”, “Protecting Sarah”, “Guarding Noah” and “Bringing Back Faith,” and “Restoring Hope,” available here: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0BCBZQN7L/allbooks?ingress=0&visitId=7e223b5b-1a29-45f0-ad9d-e9c8fdb59e9c&ref_=ap_rdr&ccs_id=931f96e2-c220-4765-acc8-cc99bb95e8bd
