Everyday Triggers: The Stuff we don’t Talk About

But living in a complex world that has news broadcasting horrific events 24/7 is not easy, no matter how hard we try to avoid the media. The news is everywhere.

Did you hear about the war?

Isn’t it shocking that he murdered his wife?

You hear people talk about horrific events in the line at the grocery store, on the beach, at the park, in restaurants, and bars. People are enjoying a good gossip, but they have no idea how their words can hurt or trigger someone. Words and other people’s reactions to events can be just as triggering as your nightmare, because it is daytime and you are in public. Your reaction can be catastrophic and impossible to explain.

How do you handle triggers from people and situations in public?

This is a very personal question, and of course, it depends on where you are, who you are with, and how easy it is to escape. By the word escape, I mean to go somewhere in private and have that release of emotions, whether it’s anger, fear, crying, or freezing.

Showing deep emotions is not easy to do when you have just been triggered by something, and you cannot leave.

I get triggered all the time, and it hurts really badly every time. I choose not to talk about them, but maybe I should? If I talk about them, more people would understand what it feels like to live with Complex PTSD. Life goes on, but for a trauma survivor, those memories follow like a shadow that will not go away. For a veteran, a car backfiring in the street can trigger a gunshot memory from a war zone. Computer and console games that have guns in them can trigger trauma memories from the war zone. An airplane flying over the city can spark a memory. A news broadcast from a traumatic event can cause triggers. People or animals being hurt can cause a severe reaction in trauma survivors because we know the pain.

Triggers are everywhere. It is how we deal with them that matters.

My most recent trigger was today. I was in the mall with my kids buying school supplies. My youngest needed a new backpack, and he couldn’t decide while my other son was making fun of him.

Suddenly, there was a loud crash just outside the store.

I panicked, grabbed my kids, and hunched down on the floor.

It was just a deliveryman who dropped a couple of big metal sheets on the floor. They made a big noise, and I wasn’t the only one reacting.

“Mommy, are you okay?” My youngest piped up, which pulled me out of my reverie. I had been somewhere else entirely. A memory from decades ago, but my son’s voice brought me back.

I took them for a cookie & smoothie treat after the backpack purchase. I couldn’t face driving home straight away. My hands were shaking, and I needed a moment.

Self-care after a traumatic memory is vital for our well-being. If you have one in public, make sure you are completely back in the present moment before you carry on with your day. My kids are used to me reacting to things, and although I cannot explain why I do it. They sense my distress. Kids know when something is not right. I will tell my kids about my past one day, but not yet. They deserve to have a great childhood first.

My name is Lizzy, and I’m a mom, teacher, author, and mental health blogger. I write for those who don’t always feel that they have a voice. For more about me, my books, and articles, check out my website: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

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