Imagine that it’s late in the day, and you are still at the office. You’re stuck in a meeting that has dragged on for hours, and your boss is giving a boring presentation on budgets and project deadlines. What he is promoting, you already know, will not work. The figures are all wrong, and yet everyone in the room is listening and staring at him, quiet.
Can’t anyone see the errors?
Your mind starts to drift beyond the meeting. Your kids are waiting patiently for you to come home, and you can’t wait to see their young faces light up as you walk through the door.
One of your co-workers coughs and sets down a half-filled glass of water on the table. He makes noise doing so, and mumbles an apology.
The presentation carries on, but the numbers and profit margins only get worse. Things just don’t add up. You sigh and inwardly cringe at the errors in the data. Something is not right.
Do you speak up and risk the room and your boss resenting you for pointing out the mistakes? Or do you let it go? After all, you just want to go home.
The answer is not always a definitive “yes.” There are many reasons why we don’t speak up in meetings and in work settings. We fear being ridiculed and laughed at, or even worse–being completely ignored.
I usually speak up in situations like these, but reactions from colleagues have not always been welcomed. The truth can sting even the most stubborn of people. We have to find the right way to tell the truth. One way is to sugar-coat the obvious by buttering up our boss first in order to not offend, and then gently break down their useless presentation.
Why do we have to so carefully protect the egos of our colleagues? Why not just tell the truth?
The answer is that most people take criticism badly, even if you are right. There is a silent etiquette at play in the work environment, and sometimes we get it wrong. If not done carefully, helping might even be taken as offensive.
I’ve worked in several different offices before returning to work in an elementary school. It’s interesting to see the office/work politics happening between colleagues. Basically, it’s a microcosm of all kinds of people doing projects who would otherwise never mix outside of work. Of course, everyone is professional, but there is a tension caused by the politics that hangs in the air of our workspaces.
As a trauma survivor, I see the subtle shifts in body language like silent alarms. It’s interesting how human beings communicate with their bodies (and facial expressions) without saying a single word. I can tell if someone is not being truthful or holding something back, and I wonder why they choose not to speak their mind. Why can’t we be more honest with each other?
These same traits exist in the school environment, as well. The teacher’s lounge can be a toxic place, and sometimes I choose to be outside with my students instead of indoors with colleagues. Other times I need a break, and stay in my classroom pretending to organize. Truth is, I just need ten minutes to organize my thoughts without anyone else’s interference or opinions.
What do you do in your work environment when something is not right? Do you speak up, or do you let it slide?
My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.
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For more about me: https://www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com
Elizabeth Woods grew up in a world of brutal sex offenders, murderers, and inconceivably neglectful adults. Elizabeth is passionate about spreading awareness of what it is like to survive after trauma. She is the author of several books and has written her memoir, telling her childhood story: The Sex-Offender’s Daughter: A True Story of Survival Against All Odds, available on Amazon Kindle and paperback.
Elizabeth is also the author of “Living with Complex PTSD” and the Cedar’s Port Fiction series: “Saving Joshua”, “Protecting Sarah”, “Guarding Noah” and “Bringing Back Faith,” and “Restoring Hope,” available here: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0BCBZQN7L/allbooks?ingress=0&visitId=7e223b5b-1a29-45f0-ad9d-e9c8fdb59e9c&ref_=ap_rdr&ccs_id=931f96e2-c220-4765-acc8-cc99bb95e8bd
