“Each one of us has lived through some devastation, some loneliness, some weather superstorm or spiritual superstorm; when we look at each other, we must say, I understand. I understand how you feel because I have been there myself. We must support each other and empathize with each other because each of us is more alike than we are unalike.”
~ Maya Angelou
My name is Lizzy, and I am a survivor of childhood trauma and abuse. I write extensively about what it feels like to live with the memories of trauma because I feel that we need to draw strength from each other. The world needs to know what it feels like so people can support us through it. We need people in our lives because we cannot go at it alone.
There are so many of us who are affected by trauma or living with harrowing memories every day. As survivors, we go through life like everyone else. There are no special passes for us when life throws us a curveball, and we must face whatever we encounter head-on. Most of the time we try and shy away from problems or arguments because they are painful reminders of a past we want to forget. We all have our limits of what we can and cannot handle and that list is usually extensive. Trust me, my list is long.
There are times when we need to acknowledge that enough is enough. Things cannot go on as they are because the cost is too great.
Have you ever felt like you were stuck in an impossible situation, like the feeling of being between a rock and a hard place? There is no way you can win, and the only way out is to take a gamble and risk losing yourself a little along the way. You are hurting, but you won’t help yourself out of it because of… well, reasons. There are always reasons and excuses and excuses on top of those excuses. I have faced this dilemma and held my pride deep inside while refusing to see the truth. I am being abused again, this time as an adult.
Why don’t we stand up for ourselves in these situations? I know I’m not alone. What do you do? How do you handle it? Who do you turn to when life knocks you down?
Our emotions will find a way to get past being ignored. There is no such thing as bad emotions. All feelings are our natural way of dealing with stressors in our lives. As a survivor and living with complex PTSD, those stressors are even greater. I can only liken this feeling to someone who has had a disturbing nightmare and is feeling rough and raw the next day. That is how some survivors feel all the time.
Emotionally raw.
We ignore our feelings and carry on as if they do not matter. Then something happens during the day that jolts us, and that dam breaks. We go into an emotional overwhelm where the stressors have pushed us too far that day. When I was younger and had no family, I could hit the gym and run or swim the stressors away until it was out of my system. It’s harder to do that when you have responsibilities like work and kids, but those stressors do not stop. They carry on firing at us like a machine gun, firing pencils at us. We feel each shot, but we shrug them off until that one shot pokes us where it hurts the most. Our reaction is usually extreme. When I start crying, I sob uncontrollably, and I cannot stop. It doesn’t always happen when I am at home. I have these emotional overwhelms with my friends and even at work too. Sometimes, life just gets overwhelming.
I wish I could tell you that everything will be okay and that a magic beam will take that pain away, but life doesn’t work that way. Those pencils will keep firing at you until you build a shield of resilience against the smaller stressors. You have got to believe in yourself and know that you have already gone through so much. You are still here,e and you can handle whatever it is that brings you down.
Hold your head up high and trust in your abilities to get through the day – the only way you know how. Trust your instincts and grab opportunities as they come your way. You deserve everything that life has in store. Take it. You’ve got this.
My name is Lizzy, and I believe in you like I believe in myself. We deserve to live a good life. If that life decides to throw you lemons, then take a step back and make lemonade with what you have got. Then, move on in a different direction. Trust in yourself and believe that the sun will rise and bring with it your next step. If you are a Christian like me, then the song: “Don’t Stop Praying” by Matthew West may help.
Photo by Ariv Gupta on Unsplash
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Elizabeth Woods grew up in a world of brutal sex offenders, murderers, and inconceivably neglectful adults. She suffered sexual abuse throughout her childhood and witnessed unspeakable events. Elizabeth survived in an environment where most people would not. She is now able to help other survivors heal from trauma through her writing and blogs. Elizabeth is passionate about spreading awareness of what it is like to survive after trauma. There is always hope.
Elizabeth is the author of several books and has written her memoir, telling her childhood story: The Sex-Offender’s Daughter: A True Story of Survival Against All Odds, available on Amazon Kindle. https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Offenders-Daughter-Story-Survival-Against-ebook/dp/B0BBSV97VF/?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_w=0pSdX&content-id=amzn1.sym.cf86ec3a-68a6-43e9-8115-04171136930a&pf_rd_p=cf86ec3a-68a6-43e9-8115-04171136930a&pf_rd_r=134-9913214-5397651&pd_rd_wg=MPpMc&pd_rd_r=d375a758-2d9b-4c6e-9aee-52c1f5a4e6f7&ref_=aufs_ap_sc_dsk
Elizabeth is also the author of “Living with Complex PTSD” and the Cedar’s Port Fiction series: “Saving Joshua”, “Protecting Sarah”, “Guarding Noah” and “Bringing Back Faith” available here:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CQRNST2B?binding=kindle_edition&qid=1711883073&sr=8-2&ref=dbs_dp_rwt_sb_pc_tkin
