Society is funny. On the one hand, they act like mental illness is contagious and shun those who live with it, and on the other hand, they say that they are angry that taxpayers must foot part of the bill to help people get well.

In either circumstance, stigma, aka discrimination, against those with any mental health condition is a tremendous problem that must be addressed. This is especially true of men who encounter stigma from society, which tells them they must be stoic and strong.

This article will discuss the stigma surrounding men and how society has driven them into emotional prison.

The Great Disconnection

One study reported that more than 11% of men ages 25-54 are unemployed and not looking for work (Krueger, 2016). The same research found that nearly half of the men who are not working or looking for work take pain medication daily, making them victims of the opioid crisis. This fact, coupled with the opioid epidemic, has conspired to leave many men lost and falling behind.

American men feel exposed and raw as they wait for what comes next. There is genuine fear here, as many males do not have the mental resources to deal with the new realities we all face in an ever-changing world.

Is it any wonder that men are disconnected and nearly frozen in uncertainty?

The Effects of Childhood Trauma on Men

 Society has funny rules for men. I don’t mean they are hilarious; they are outrageous and unfair. We expect men to be stoic, strong, and able to overcome any mental health challenges they face by “bucking up” and “acting like a man.”

Men who have faced childhood trauma like sexual abuse are hurting but must keep their overwhelming emotional distress to themselves; instead, they choose to bury their pain.

Speaking out loud that one has been sexually abused as a child brings the great possibility of ridicule and abandonment from their peers and loved ones. The price is simply too high to pay for many men, and most cannot or will not pay it. Instead, they spend their lives trapped in never expressed emotions.

Stigma kills. It keeps men from reaching out for the help that they need even though depression and suicide are ranked as the leading causes of death for men living in the United States. Also, men are far more likely to use substances than women and have a higher risk of forming an alcohol dependence (Weir, 2017), and, unsurprisingly, men are more likely to die from alcohol-related diseases than women.

With these figures in mind, we must end the stigma against men receiving mental health assistance.

Happily, despite social norms, more men are coming forward to share their personal stories and do so in the office of a mental health professional. This change of heart, though slow, is helped by the fact that celebrities like Michael Phelps and Dwayne Johnson have come out as having a mental health struggle.

Men and Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

One cannot speak of stigma without first understanding a little bit about how complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD) affects men.

CPTSD is caused by repeated traumatic events where the man, then a little boy, experiences a sense of being trapped and unable to get away. The trauma may include physical, emotional, narcissistic, or sexual abuse.

Because of how society looks at men, we do not see them as victims of abuse when they are. We prefer to think of men as too strong to be victimized, but society forgets that this man was once a helpless little child and vulnerable to attack.

Men are trapped in jail cells, unable to express their emotions or pain as an unspoken rule of society. They are to “buck up” or “get over it.” So, they continue in pain and listen to the stigma choosing to remain silent.

Below find a partial list of the symptoms of complex post-traumatic stress disorder.

• Depression
• Sudden mood swings
• Avoiding situations that remind of the trauma
• Feeling different from others
• Difficulty remaining in relationships
• Isolating
• Rescuing or attempting to rescue other people

These life-changing symptoms alter the lives of male survivors of childhood maltreatment.

Men Need Society to Have Their Backs

Although many men isolate themselves from others when talking about what happened to them as children, it is critical that they tell someone to take a huge burden off their back.

It is estimated that 8-29% (depending on the research paper you read) have experienced sexual violence in childhood. It is critical to note that no one knows the exact extent of the trauma men encounter as children because they do not speak about it.

Healing takes guts and enormous courage because you are forced to face your history head-on and remember with a therapist the horrible emotions that have been trapped for so many years.

Men need to know that we support them in their effort to get free from their histories. Men must understand that society will have their backs when they enter treatment as more people fight stigma and because they cannot heal alone. It takes a community.

Ways to Cope with Stigma

The stigma against men isn’t often made up of verbal insults. Instead, the stigma turns up in odd looks and being treated differently than before you sought help. Not allowing what others think of you to matter to you is vital. Don’t allow society or other people to dictate how you will live.

One way men can cope with the stigma involved with mental health issues is to know the facts about their mental health condition. Education about your condition is not a sign of weakness but of strength.

Reject stereotyping yourself the way society decrees you must be. Your problems are not weaknesses but challenges that only a real man can conquer. Understanding your mental health isn’t just about having a name for your mental health challenge but about changing false ideas about yourself.

Another way you can defeat stigma is to understand that 1 in 5 Americans live with a mental health condition, each with their own story and journey to wellness. Your journey isn’t about destroying others who have harmed you; instead, it is about learning to be kind and showing empathy and kindness to yourself.

Ending Our Time Together

The stigma surrounding mental illness is destructive, especially to men. It is no wonder that the suicide rate among men is rising because society tells them they cannot and must not express their emotions. Not that some men don’t act out their feelings, such as molesting and harming others, but that is not an appropriate expression of emotions.

Men have become disconnected from their emotions, which often leaves them vulnerable and alone. American men feel exposed and fear what curve ball society will burden them with next.

In our ever-changing world, where men are looked up to for leadership at home, on the job, and even in religion, there is a real fear because men do not feel they have what is needed.

Society has mistreated men and continues to do so. It will take a massive movement of men and women working together to end the terrible stigma that follows men wherever they go.

The next time you see a man, ask him how he is doing and really listen, even if he tells you he is okay. If you know, the man has a mental health condition, do not treat him any differently than you would treat others. Be kind and empathetic to what he is going through.

Above all, be the person who fights stigma by nixing it when you see it or hear it in conversations. If enough of us do, we can give men a break and allow them to discover who they are as people.

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” ― Oscar Wilde

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” ― Bernard M. Baruch

References

Chatmon, B. N. (2020). Males and mental health stigma. American Journal of Men’s Health, 14(4), 1557988320949322.

Duran A., 2021. How Mental Health Stigma Impacts Men? Mental Health.

Halpern-Meekin, S., & Talkington, A. (2022). “Disconnected” Men: Understanding Men’s Joint Roles as Workers and Romantic Partners. RSF: The Russell Sage Foundation Journal of the Social Sciences, 8(5), 98-119.

Krueger, A. B. (2016). Where have all the workers gone? Unpublished, Princeton University and NBER, October 4.

Weir, K. (2017). The Men America Left Behind. Retrieved from: https://www.apa.org/monitor/2017/02/men-left-behind