Are you having a bad day, or week? Maybe the whole month hasn’t gone as well as you were expecting it to?
Consider the fireflies shining into the darkness in the picture above. Let their lights shine the way throughout this reading.
In today’s post, I’m going to tackle depression.
Yeah, it’s a heavy word, with not such great connotations… You sigh and attempt to click away. Your finger hovers over the button because you want to avoid this topic. No one likes this word.
Hang on a minute. Give me a moment to explain my take on this word.
Depression.
When depression rears its ugly head, it’s hard to see anything positive. When we are stuck in the middle of a bad day, we see everything negatively. It’s a downward spiral that pulls us down like a vacuum, sucking us into darkness.
It doesn’t have to be that way.
Let me explain…
My name is Lizzy, and I have been where you are. I have had many bad days, weeks, months, and even years. I’ve got the BAD T-shirt and I don’t ever want to go back there. My childhood was full of pain and suffering, but I left that world and started again.
In my new world, I have worked to build a life away from trauma and abuse. I’ve created a world of positive influences, and I am surrounded by people who share my vision.
Depression still grabs me from time to time, and triggers drag me back to my horrific childhood. Some of these experiences draw me into days of lasting depression, including foggy brain and sluggishness. Yeah, I’ve been there.
Therapy has helped me understand why I feel the way I do after a trigger. I was hurt, but that’s in the past. Things that are difficult today are nothing compared to where I have been.
In the great scheme of things, I recognize that life is not inherently bad. I see glimmers of hope everywhere I go.
Here is the kicker: we don’t have to stay in “bad day” mode. There are tools we can use to feel better.
This is what I do when I’m having a bad day:
- Breathe — A few deep breaths will help detox our system and replenish the air in our lungs.
- Mindfulness–Think about the moment you are in, the here and now. What do you need right now? Clarity helps when we are feeling down.
- Take a comfort break–If you cannot get away from your busy schedule, do something to calm yourself down. Splash some water on your face, or grab a coffee. The change of temperature will help you reset for a minute.
- Go for a walk–If it’s the end of the day, don’t go straight home. Go for a walk in the park and notice the leaves in the trees. Hear the birds exchanging avian gossip and notice the crickets playing their serenades. Feel your surroundings and let your heartbeat match. Nature does wonders to help us feel calm.
When you get home, don’t focus your mind on what has happened; instead, look at the next moments with open eyes.
Look for the glimmers of hope. When we open our minds beyond the pain of the moment, we see that those glimmers exist and are within reach.
When I am having a rough day, a glimmer might appear as any of the following:
- The sun stretches its rays over our driveway. A bumblebee settles inside one of the pink flower buds of a bush.
- My youngest is coming to greet me at the door and show me his latest model made by Legos. His beaming face says it all.
- My oldest has tidied his bedroom and found his long-lost favorite toy. Excited, he wants to share with me his newfound treasure.
- My husband is in the kitchen stirring the cheese sauce for a mac & cheese dinner. He turns around to smile at me, and I see that he has flour smeared on his cheek.
Life is not perfect, nor is it easy. But when we stop to notice beauty and simplicity, we feel better.
Maybe you had a bad day today. Can you find some glimmers of hope that reassure you that life is actually pretty good?
In the dark of the night, we suddenly see glowing fireflies!
My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.
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For more about me: https://www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com
Elizabeth Woods grew up in a world of brutal sex offenders, murderers, and inconceivably neglectful adults. She suffered sexual abuse throughout her childhood and witnessed unspeakable events. Elizabeth survived in an environment where most people would not. She is now able to help other survivors heal from trauma through her writing and blogs. Elizabeth is passionate about spreading awareness of what it is like to survive after trauma. There is always hope.
Elizabeth is the author of several books and has written her memoir, telling her childhood story: The Sex-Offender’s Daughter: A True Story of Survival Against All Odds, available on Amazon Kindle and paperback.
Elizabeth is also the author of “Living with Complex PTSD” and the Cedar’s Port Fiction series: “Saving Joshua”, “Protecting Sarah”, “Guarding Noah” and “Bringing Back Faith” available here: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0BCBZQN7L/allbooks?ingress=0&visitId=7e223b5b-1a29-45f0-ad9d-e9c8fdb59e9c&ref_=ap_rdr&ccs_id=931f96e2-c220-4765-acc8-cc99bb95e8bd
Am very glad you were able to leave that all behind. My brain didn’t tell me how abused I was until 71. The shame and guilt, the fear was always with me where y I chose partners who instilled the same feelings and emotions my narc mother gave me: abuse = love. Am caregiver to second husband, who never hit me but has abused me in different ways. Perhaps if had been able to have come out of the trauma coma by at least in my 50s, maybe I would have created the needed boundaries. Instead, I walked on eggshells all my life. My depression is because life passed me by as I people pleased just looking for crumbs of acceptance and most importantly, unconditional love.