You Can’t Run Away From Your Own Head
Human beings are like an iceberg. We go through life sharing only the pieces of ourselves that we want people to see. But there’s so much more going on inside.
Isaac Newton’s third law states that: “for every action (force) in nature there is an equal and opposite reaction.” I think that this “law of motion” can be applied to human beings too.
Think about it.
For everything we say, think, or do, there is a corresponding reaction. In terms of Stress on the body, this is true. When something traumatic happens to us or to someone near us, we react to defend ourselves.
It’s a defense mechanism to protect us from harm.
In victims of traumatic stress, there is a physiological change that happens inside our bodies.
I described the five F’s of behavior in response to traumatic events in my last two articles. Today, I want to explain what those behaviors are like in real life.
There’s always going to be a difference between academic study of trauma and for those who live with PTSD or Complex-PTSD every single day.
I fall under the second category, and I can help other survivors because I have lived with Complex PTSD for most of my life.
It’s far from easy, but as time goes by, things have gotten easier.
I often feel like I have an anchor holding me back on a bad day or night. I want to keep going, ignore whatever’s eating me, but I can’t.
Sometimes, you have to face what’s eating you, and it usually means to stop whatever it is you’re doing and listen to your body.
The world keeps spinning whether you want it to or not when you’re struggling. It’s worth having a few coping techniques stowed away for a trigger day.
I have these triggers all the time, but even my closest colleagues have no idea that I’m falling apart some days.
I’ve gotten very good at hiding how I really feel.
Living with Traumatic Stress
Traumatic events change the way you look at yourself and the world. Your brain can go into overdrive, and it can make you hyper-aware of everything around you.
This can cause some big changes in your behavior.
Living with trauma can feel like your world has been ripped away from under your feet. Nothing feels the same anymore, and you are plunged into a world of constant fear, anxiety, and overwhelming situations.
Living with trauma can feel like a constant battle to function. Some days, it’s hard to get out of bed. Taking a shower and eating can become a huge battle because self-care is the last thing on your mind.
It’s hard to face your friends and go out when the stress from trauma is clouding your thoughts and motivation.
Holding down a job can become impossible when constant nightmares and trauma memories happen, destroying your focus and memory.
Imagine if you had an epic nightmare of being murdered or tortured. Your brain is reliving parts of your past, which is showing a 4D movie without a pause button.
How could you function at work the next day?
Imagine a friend is waving a knife around while talking animatedly over a kid’s birthday cake. It’s an exciting event with kids running around the room and adults having fun talking to each other, but you’re frozen staring at that knife as the room dulls. The voices disappear, and you’re pulled back in time to a trauma memory, hijacked by your own brain.
As you come out of the flashback, it’s hard not to react without causing a scene.
You can suffer from brain fog, mood swings, and find change difficult.
Some days, you want to conquer everything all at once, and you feel fantastic, like the bad days never existed.
It’s confusing, right? It’s no wonder people call trauma survivors mentally ill, but it’s far from the truth. Trauma survivors have been hurt in the most profound way, and that hurt has to come out eventually.
Some survivors can flip between hyper-vigilance and dissociation in a few minutes. Imagine living like that every single day?
Everyone reacts differently to traumatic events because of life experience, resilience, and if you have a support system or not.
It’s important to understand that everyone’s healing journey is different. Some survivors heal quickly, but others can struggle all their lives.
Behaviors Caused by Traumatic Stress
Feeling on edge and scanning your surroundings for threats and danger.
Irritability, anger and withdrawing from people.
Avoiding situations that are too painful because they trigger memories.
Feeling worthless, ashamed and distorting our opinions of ourselves and others.
Social situations and cues can feel fragmented and cause problems in forming and keeping friendships.
Anxiety and vulnerability
Depression
Mixed emotions that lead to confusion in situations.
Trust issues because of the fear of being exposed to more pain.
What Help is Available for Trauma survivors?
Therapy — Seeing a therapist can help you find the tools to handle triggers and take control back through coping mechanisms.
Support network — Having a strong network of friends around you.
Self-care – is important to live a healthy life. Things like exercising, mindfulness, relaxation and yoga, and doing a hobby can do wonders to reduce your stress levels.
Medication — Can be helpful for people who are struggling to sleep and those who suffer from anxiety.
Education — Learning about Trauma and how it can affect you enables you to take charge of your healing journey.
Change — Be willing to heal the root cause of your trauma to move forward in your life.
Living with trauma affects every aspect of your life. You’re hurting in the most profound way, and you can’t ignore it forever. It’s time you put yourself first.
I did.
My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.
If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.
For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com
Support your fellow writer:
https://ko-fi.com/elizabe69245484
Photo Credit: Unsplash
Guest Post Disclaimer: This guest post is for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing shared here, across CPTSDfoundation.org, any CPTSD Foundation website, our associated communities, or our Social Media accounts, is intended to substitute for or supersede the professional advice and direction of your medical or mental health providers. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the guest author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CPTSD Foundation. For further details, please review the following: Terms of Service, Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer
- About the Author
- Latest Posts
For more about me: https://www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com
Elizabeth Woods grew up in a world of brutal sex offenders, murderers, and inconceivably neglectful adults. Elizabeth is passionate about spreading awareness of what it is like to survive after trauma. She is the author of several books and has written her memoir, telling her childhood story: The Sex-Offender’s Daughter: A True Story of Survival Against All Odds, available on Amazon Kindle and paperback.
Elizabeth is also the author of “Living with Complex PTSD” and the Cedar’s Port Fiction series: “Saving Joshua”, “Protecting Sarah”, “Guarding Noah” and “Bringing Back Faith,” and “Restoring Hope,” available here: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0BCBZQN7L/allbooks?ingress=0&visitId=7e223b5b-1a29-45f0-ad9d-e9c8fdb59e9c&ref_=ap_rdr&ccs_id=931f96e2-c220-4765-acc8-cc99bb95e8bd
as a cptsd survivor myself and mixed with severe adhd plus more i just want to say thank u more of us need to speak out so we can have healthy relationships and self love i would love to work with u 1 day im going for neuro psychiatry to help others its hard to speak out but im glad more people other than myself are speaking up ur an inspiration
Hi Danielle, thank you for reading my article and for your response. Yes, I was silent for far too long but I decided not to be afraid anymore and speak up after the Covid Pandemic. I’ve lived through harrowing situations and survived and I can help other survivors. That is my passion for speaking out.
I wish you all the best in your studies. It sounds super interesting. Take care from Lizzy.
Educative!
Thank you Steve for reading my article.
I is an educative script to help some one navigate through traumatic situations
Thanks John for reading my article. Yes, it is my passion for writing to help other survivors.. Take care from Lizzy.
This has hit a nerve, my childhood….all suppressed until Pandora’s box opened in the last 3 years..and I get diagnosed fibromyalgia..and an awakening of such proportion caused bed wetting and mental suffering. I don’t know why suddenly the trauma of my childhood awakening and fibromyalgia show up the same time. I’m being assessed for AuDHD(within 3 Months of this posting. I relate to all 3..cptsd, Autism and ADHD. My father tried twice to take my life(I remember like it was last week…he’s dead now, so I can never get my answers. I asked him when he was alive why he never loved me..i was in my early 30’s…Now I want to ask why he did things to me. I have visual scars and internal.
I am broken! I know I’ve never been loved..the only love I saw was conditional. And since been proved. Yes, vulnerable, complicated, I cannot trust, my 4yr old Calico girl(who’s a cat) Maggie, is the only reason for waking up in the morning.
Sorry , for someone who can’t talk…
I feel you…if you struggling.
Elisabeth and everyone who feels this pain, my heart goes out to you. Just reading your story saddens me. But you’ve fought to know yourself… knowledge Is power…the power to understand yourself and the hope find sanctuary. I guess my road …is looking for my peaceful, safe place…my inner child cries, pleads..it’s ok my child i hear you, I’m trying, with all of be got left, I will fix you.
take it hour by hour if you can’t manage day by day.
Animals are non judgemental, treat them as a beating heart, show love and the rewards will give you hope. I haven’t mentioned my age…I’m 58.
Dear Samantha, thank you for reading my article and for taking the time to write such a heart felt response. I’ve read it several times and I can honestly say I feel your pain through your words. I know that pain so well. I still feel it often when I’m triggered.
If you haven’t got a therapist, I recommend finding one because it;s important to talk about how you are feeling with someone who understands. It took me a while to find the right therapist but once I did, every session helps me. I wish that for you as well.
Know that you are not alone feeling like this. I hear you.
I’m really happy to read that you’ve got a cat ( She sounds gorgeous). Pets can make such a difference and I think they know when we feel down. Talk to Maggie when you are feeling low. Just voicing your pain will help even if she doesn’t talk back. Maggie will feel your pain.
Another thing you can try (and as often as you can) which helped me, is self-care. I’ve always liked the outdoors and sports. It’s where I go to draw strength. Spend time taking care of you every day. Take a break from work to close your eyes and breathe. Notice your body calm with each breath. Try doodling, mindfulness coloring and journaling. I’ve tried all of it, and it does help but you have to give it time.
Take good care of yourself and I hope you will start feeling better soon. Remember that you’re not alone. From Lizzy.
The only response I can give to your, heartfelt, kind, compassionate words…is from my heart and soul…
I simply thank you💓