It is estimated that at least one person with a disability is murdered by their caregiver, parent, or relative each week.
90% of women with disabilities are sexually assaulted, raped, or abused. Those with the highest risk are people who are Deaf, Blind or have mobility impairments, due to missing one of the senses, which helps keep them safe.
Children with disabilities are between 1.5-3.5x more likely to have experienced neglect or abuse than children without disabilities. Data suggest that children born with forms of disabilities are more often abused and more often relinquished to the child welfare system, either by force or choice.
People with disabilities are 2x more likely to experience bullying compared to their non-disabled peers.
Suicide and Disability have many varying percentages depending on the categorization/type of the disability. What is known about disability and suicide is that for those with disabilities suicide is often not due to the disability itself but navigating the world and society’s response to disability, especially when it is a lifelong disability.
Growing up disabled from birth into adulthood made one thing clear and that was the best version of a human to be was abled. I was considered lucky by many to have anyone to help me so I should be grateful. The only thing that was bad, or made things hard for others was me. It’s true that I require support to navigate life as a person with a physical disability and without it, I would not survive. What that is, is a threat to my safety and life NOT luck.
Disability is seen as a burden to society and the individuals who are in support roles. People fail to realize that those with disabilities are the ones most affected by them. There is no choice to take a break or get away from the impact of a disability on the individual with a disability whereas that is a choice when you are external to it. Contrary to popular belief caregivers and those they take care of are not always super close best friends and it is a paid position. Rather than acknowledge this reality people insist on glorifying those who are in roles that are supportive of those with disabilities. Only focusing on the impact of my disability on those external to it is also something that is damaging and traumatic for a person with a disability. The result of this becomes the erasure of those with disabilities.
With disabilities that are physical and limit one’s mobility, a support person may have to assist with anything from transfers from a wheelchair to another surface, bathing, dressing, and even toileting. Any or all of those situations create opportunities for those who are able to take advantage of those who are disabled. Unfortunately, when it comes to emergency situations those who are external to disabilities also create situations that are unsafe for disabled people as a result of not having any measures for their safety in place and lacking awareness of how to go about such things. Fire drills at school were a nightmare for me as a child and teenager. I had not yet gotten a powerchair so fire drills would often mean I had someone rushing toward me, releasing the breaks of the chair, and taking off with me through the door. We would end up in an entirely different location from the rest of the school depending on where in the building we were. Other times there were issues with the double door that we had to access being stuck which would leave us trapped on the upper level of the building. Without there being a real emergency it was terrifying never mind being very aware that the adults were making plans for our removal within earshot and clearly clueless as to what that might look like.
People can set out with the worst of intention or the best of intention but when they fail to realize that there is another full human being involved who they are attempting to help that individual should be considered, if at all possible given the opportunity to have their say and give input into what should happen to them. To loosely quote Jo Beckwith “intention only matters so much. If someone gets hit in the head with a baseball bat it hurts. Whether that was done because you turned around and didn’t see them but they got hit or you were really mad, turned around, and hit them it still hurts.” It seems like people external to disability do not understand just that. The impact of external intentions good or bad has an impact on those with disabilities. Yes, in the case of an emergency, out of the situation alive is generally the ultimate goal but once you’ve done your part in that what’s left is what the person who experienced your intentions has to deal with.
As a disabled person whose been on the other side of what it’s like to be removed from a wheelchair, left helpless on a bed or the floor out of reach of everything and forgotten about, or in a tub and reminding people I am still in there only to have them shout at me plus the experience of fire drills at school I can tell you it leaves a scar. To know that something similar happens to a disabled person anywhere in the world breaks my heart. I can’t even imagine what it must be like for disabled people in the middle of a war zone in a country where disability is largely seen as shameful and should be hidden that has little to no accessibility. I know from my lived experiences that disability is normally the last thing thought about and when it comes to sending aid over what will be provided is things for wounds and broken legs, pain medication, maybe some surgical equipment BUT things like feeding tubes, diapers, any medication that has to be regularly taken and can’t be missed, canes, crutches, walkers, material for building ramps, or portable ramps are not going to be considered.
Just sending over ramps was my answer a week ago. But now it is just questioning…
How many disabled lives will be lost?
Will they become faceless and nameless stats? Nothing more than a number left to remember them.
Or will they be given dignity and recognized as victims of murder as the victims in 9/11 were?
Disability is a strange thing typically only being viewed as a condition when in reality it is a diverse community of people. When part of that group is threatened it is largely felt and when part of that group senselessly loses their lives there is grief.
This blog originally appeared here: https://powerfullypowerless.wordpress.com/2022/03/09/a-price-to-pay-disability-being-at-the-mercy-of-others/
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Hi, my name is Destiny and I am a Certified Tauma Recovery Coach. I have a disability called Spina Bifida and I am also a trauma survivor. As I am not a person who particularly likes face to face interaction my writing is a vital part of what I do for my own mental health as well as professionally. Being a person with a disability has developed into coaching those who are also survivors of trauma and are disabled similar to myself. I do this using a virtual reality platform called Second Life. I also own a website and blog to help advocate, education, and rise awareness about disability, mental health, and trauma within the context of disability.
