In times of political turmoil, when everything seems uncertain, and the news cycle moves faster than my mind can process the information, I struggle to remember how to center myself.
This is mainly due to the chaos I have experienced in times of abuse. My mind becomes triggered, and the fight or flight response envelops me in its staticky energy. I feel my stomach at the level of my throat and the anxiety I feel sends shivers up my spine. In times like these, it is easy for me to go back to an early time. A time when I was less resilient than I am today, a time when gaslighting was commonplace and common sense was nowhere to be found. The scariest part of this feeling is the sense of aloneness.
I ask myself the same questions that everyone else does: “Do other people see what is happening?” “Is this moment real?” “What can I do next?” My mind races, my thoughts collide, and my energy fades.
Perhaps you know this feeling? Perhaps you are with me, and I am not as alone as I thought?
When triggered, it is a time to ask better questions. “How can I nurture myself so that my body can rest?”, “How can I relax my mind, so that it can think clearly?”, “What resources do I have to support myself?”
Disconnecting does not mean giving up. It means tuning in. Inside each of us exists a source of awareness. Yes, what you are seeing is real. But it is also real that right now, in this moment, you are safe.
This moment is all we have, and the only thing that is certain is right here inside of you.
What occurs inside you is as real as what occurs outside of you. You are the living experience of this moment. Protect your perception by seeing it all. See your fear, your anger, your apprehensions, but also see your resilience, your growth, and your truth with loving awareness.
Yes. There are gaslighters. Trust yourself to spot them.
Connect with the fear and trust yourself to breathe through it.
Hold the sadness, and care for your sorrows as a mother cares for her child.
You can do hard things and be safe. You can feel difficult feelings and remain whole. You can experience fear and remind yourself of resilience.
Be in this moment, but not of this moment- for the moment will pass and all that remains is what you taught yourself you can endure.
Photo by Sushil Nash on Unsplash
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In addition to serving as a college administrator in higher education, I am also a Psychology and Sociology Professor. Perhaps, most importantly, like many of you, I am a survivor of abuse and relational trauma. I write to raise awareness about how we can align with the best parts of ourselves. My writing focuses on the social and psychological factors that guide our decision making.
