Taking the Edge Off Sadness
There can be a sadness that emerges when we begin to truly see, when we wake up to the realization that we have lived much of our lives in survival stress. It is the grief of recognizing that our choices, our relationships, our very sense of self may have been shaped by the unseen hand of a nervous system wired by our past for both protection and presence.
This sadness is not the sharp, immediate sting of loss, nor the acute heartbreak that follows devastation. It is an ache—a deep, tender sorrow that pools in the body like a riverbed worn smooth by time. It lives in the weight of the chest, the quiet exhaustion behind the eyes, the subtle heaviness in the limbs. It is the sign we do not even realize we are holding.
Sadness as a Nervous System Imprint
The body learns to carry it as a familiar companion, whispering, This is just how things are.
For some, sadness settles as a quiet withdrawal —a loneliness and a feeling of isolation. Maybe a shutdown every now and again that numbs the edges of life. For others, it intertwines with the breath, constricting the chest in a gentle but persistent grip. It can manifest in the way we move, how we carry our shoulders, the way we hesitate before reaching out, a lack of boundaries that constrict our hearts, or a cold emptiness that invades the core of our being. And yet, this sadness that can often feel like a permanent weight is a messenger, not a captor. When we resist it, suppress it, or fear it, it sinks deeper into the nervous system and numbs our capacity for joy and inner peace. But when we learn how to use our nervous system to help us heal, and how closely entwined emotions are to this system, we can allow our sadness to guide us towards our truths and an enriching presence.
Helping Sadness Feel Safe
Much like a child who has learned not to cry for fear of being unheard, yelled at, or shamed, our sadness needs to know that it is welcome here and that there is a grief for the loss of time. As we move forward with a nourishing, deeper wisdom. Sadness is not something to be banished or fixed, but something to be held tenderly. If we stay connected to how we respond to our sadness, it can feel safe with us and create immense space for all of us, and not just the history of our experiences embedded in the memory and pathways of survival.
By placing a hand over the ache and saying, I see you. You are allowed to be here too, and how that can create a shift that opens to a broader horizon. The sharpness dulls, the sting of emotional pain is soothed, the weight lightens, the sadness softens in the warmth of our attention. This is the beginning of true integration—not just intellectually understanding our past, but giving our nervous system permission to be with and hold more lightly what it has stored for so long.
The Healing Language of Sadness
“Sadness gives depth. Happiness gives height. Sadness gives roots. Happiness gives branches. Happiness is like a tree going into the sky, and sadness is like the roots going down into the womb of the earth. Both are needed.” — Osho
To feel sadness deeply is to know that we are alive and room for so much life, your definition of life and feeling alive to enter your bloodstream, and you begin to flow more freely. It is a testament to the parts of you, that kept getting up, that kept searching, that longed for more, that believed that there has to be more to life than this, that yearned for a quality of inner safety a deeper connection, and inner ease but perhaps never fully received or experienced it. Sadness is the soul’s way of acknowledging what still can be.
When the heart weeps and the body feels, it does so because it recognizes something greater inside itself than what it has been externally given- it invites your soul and a deeper truth to fully emerge.
And that is where the release begins with the truth within this present moment that can feedback new information to this super vigilant system, instead of relentlessly tracking for danger, error, and everything that could go wrong, we also learn how to track for all that is ok, warm and friendly in this moment.
Create A Soft Landing
Taking the edge off sadness is not about erasing it or getting over it. It is about creating a space for it to breathe and rest, rather than something we must endure. It is about meeting it with a deeper breath, a deep inhale, along with another inhale and a long, slow exhale, no matter how restricted it might feel to breathe, try not to force it, inhale as naturally as you can, allowing every exhale time to receive that tender warmth. In doing so, you are offering the whole of you back to yourself, no matter who stole parts of your heart and soul; you are now reclaiming all parts of you. You create copious amounts of space for joy, not as a forced antidote, but as a natural counterpart that emerges when we no longer fear the depth of our own sorrow.
“The wound is the place where the light enters you.” — Rumi
Sorrow is healing the wounds and carving a pathway to openness for you to meet your true self, shining a light on you. Hold yourself tenderly, softly, gently, and steadily, and notice how your nervous system begins to respond when it feels safe with you and with the deeper knowing that even in our sorrow, we are whole.
Cheering you along from survival to a soul revival.
Photo by Melissa Askew on Unsplash
Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on CPTSDfoundation.org, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.
Roseanne Reilly DipNUR, APCST, ERYT500hr CEP specializing in Restoring Safety to the Nervous System
Roseanne comes from a Background of Nursing, She is an Advanced CranioSacral Therapist, Experienced Yoga Teacher and Health Educator and contributor to the Nervous System Economy
Roseanne provides research based tools and resources for nervous systems restoration following chronic and trauma stress
She provides insights from her own healing journey towards recovery, through blogs, weekly resources, work shops, courses, 1 to 1 mentoring and small group sessions
Linkedin:https://www.linkedin.com/in/roseanne-reilly-3014a0200/
website address: https://handsoftimehealing.com/
This article is brimming with gentle wisdom. Thank you for sharing!