Today, I bought flowers for myself.

They are five perfect little floppy tulips with careless streaks of red, yellow, and orange on a white background. Every time I look at them, I smile because I bought myself flowers!

I didn’t buy them because I thought that they would look Martha Stewart fresh for visitors and impress them with my homemaking abilities. I didn’t buy them intending to plant to impress neighbours with gardening skills. I didn’t buy them for someone else, to impress them with my amazing compassion.

I bought flowers for myself.

I bought them because they made me happy. That was all. It wasn’t life-shattering to anyone else…but me. There are seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, and months that I feel that I will never be happy or ever smile again.

But then, I do. A stranger in the park will smile at me and I will smile back. The sun hits my face as I leave home and I can feel its warmth to my toes. I do my dishes and smell the fresh scent of lavender. An eagle flies close overhead, and I can hear the whoosh whoosh of his flapping wings.

Every day is a challenge and on the days that I feel I just can’t, I hope I remember…    …I can buy myself flowers.


Guest Post Disclaimer: Any and all information shared in this guest blog post is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing in this blog post, nor any content on, is a supplement for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers. Thoughts, ideas, or opinions expressed by the writer of this guest blog do not necessarily reflect those of CPTSD Foundation. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Full Disclaimer.

Share This