Today, I bought flowers for myself.

They are five perfect little floppy tulips with careless streaks of red, yellow, and orange on a white background. Every time I look at them, I smile because I bought myself flowers!

I didn’t buy them because I thought that they would look Martha Stewart fresh for visitors and impress them with my homemaking abilities. I didn’t buy them intending to plant to impress neighbours with gardening skills. I didn’t buy them for someone else, to impress them with my amazing compassion.

I bought flowers for myself.

I bought them because they made me happy. That was all. It wasn’t life-shattering to anyone else…but me. There are seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, and months that I feel that I will never be happy or ever smile again.

But then, I do. A stranger in the park will smile at me and I will smile back. The sun hits my face as I leave home and I can feel its warmth to my toes. I do my dishes and smell the fresh scent of lavender. An eagle flies close overhead, and I can hear the whoosh whoosh of his flapping wings.

Every day is a challenge and on the days that I feel I just can’t, I hope I remember…    …I can buy myself flowers.

 

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